Memorial Day
28 May 2012 Leave a Comment
in 3-Minute Poem, Memorial Day Tags: 3-Minute Poem
Memorial Day. Today is set aside for us to remember all of those that fought while wearing our country’s uniform.
I have a great deal of respect for the men and women who serve this great nation every day. Putting themselves in the line of danger to protect us and keep us free.
As an older man, I now realize that the wars will never end. There will always be conflict between those who would destroy our liberties and ourselves. And many more young men and women will die.
There is nothing I can do to change that.
But the ideal and Dream must be kept alive for our children and beyond. All men deserve a chance to make it or break it on their own. On their terms. And that cannot happen if opression is given free run over the world. Some cannot fight, many are too frightened to fight.
We are the Land of the Free because of the Brave. Where darkness lurks, we shall shine a light to drive it away.
Thank you. Thank you to everyone serving and that has served in the defense of this great country, who is will to risk all to give a chance to the rest.
To Departed Friends:
Memorial Day is here again,
It seems the war never ends.
Thank You to all of you that served
And a prayer for our departed friends.
God Bless America and Those that Serve.
Remember, now and always.
Slut Love (or, C’mon Over!)
18 May 2012 1 Comment
in Anal Sex, Couples Sexuality, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Male, Male Sexuality, Men, Oral Sex, Psychology, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Vibrators, Women Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, Couples sex talk, dildo, emotion, fellatio, Female Sexuality, gay, Lesbian, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, vibrator, women
Do you know the difference between a Slut and a Bitch?
A Slut will sleep with anyone A Bitch will sleep with anyone but me!
Let’s talk about Sluts. I love them. Seems like these days, people are into slut shaming. You know the drill, someone is doing the Walk of Shame so you start whispering behind their back, making snarky comments on social networks, checking out their naughty blogs and then sneaking off to rub one out. (Go ahead! It is still National Masturbation Month!)
Jealous much?
Sluts are very special people and need to be treated with understanding and tender loving care. They cannot help themselves, they must share their joy with everyone who has need. Sex is joy And engaging in sex completes the circuit which brings the spirit if ever so briefly as close to Heaven/Nirvana/Valhalla/Fill in the Blank as one can be while still living.
They see sex differently than most. To a Slut, sex is an open expression of love. It is fun. It is something to be shared. And they share it with just about anyone who requests it properly. Depending on the circumstances, properly may be anything from “Stroll with me beneath the moonlight and mayhap we will make a communal offering to the Great Spirit.” to “Meet me behind the dumpster!”
There was a story of a young Dali lama who was asked to cast a woman out for being a slut. She was accused of seducing men, women and all living things. When the Dali lama arrived, he found everyone waiting in line. There was no fighting, pushing or trash talk. And when he walked up to the young lady he could see that her beauty and love outshone the sun. How could he cast out someone whose only crime was that she had been created with such beauty and generosity?
Something to think about people. Much of the evil in this world would not happen if everyone was getting laid. Sluts are the great equalizer. If everyone could be open and honest about their sexual feelings. They could be acted upon and a lot of tension would disappear. Anyone could be a slut, you could be male, female, trans, whatever. There is a Slut for everyone out there.
Oral sex sluts, anal sex sluts, gay sluts, lesbian sluts, sex toy sluts, why there is a whole world of sluttery (or should I say, sluttiosity) out there for you. By the way, don’t forget to pick up your Official Doc Johnson Lubes, Toys and Stuff. Even Sluts need a break now and then.
So what about Whores?
I love them too. Everyone needs to get paid. However, there is a good chance that a Whore has lost their way in drugs, or is being forced into prostitution or is so burned out that they no longer feel the joy. This is a tough old world. However, if more Sluts came out of their closet, fewer Whores would be necessary. In fact, Sluts can put Whores out of business!
But as I said, Sluts need understanding and love. Their hearts can be very tender and to misuse their gifts is what can change a sweet slut into a bitter person. Treat your Slut kindly. And if the Slut around, please understand, their gift is too great to keep to themselves. If they are taking care of your needs, let them fly free. They will come back.
Don’t shame the slut. Worship the Slut.
Quick Note
07 May 2012 Leave a Comment
in 3-Minute Poem, Bad Poetry Tags: 3-Minute Poem, Bad Poetry
I am moving all of my poetry to a new blog: www.blithepoetry.com
You have been warned.
Synchronicity (Or, When Jupiter Aligns with Mars)
04 May 2012 Leave a Comment
in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Dr Susan Block, Female, Female Sexuality, Male, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Safe Sex, sex toys, sexuality, Vibrators Tags: Couples sex talk, dildo, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, Male Sexuality, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, sex toys, sexuality, vibrator
I’m back! What did I miss?
We have so little to cover and so much time to do it. Wait, scratch that. Reverse it. Moving on…
First – Dr Adam Ostrzenski, of the Institute of Gynocology in St Petersburg, Florida claims to have found the actual G-Spot! You may have heard about this on the news, but let’s look a bit closer, shall we? Whatever he found, it is causing huge waves in the medical and sexual health fields. Doctors are lining up on both sides of the debate. You see, one side says, “Hooray! Another clue to the mystery!” while the other proclaims, “The G-Spot is not real! Stop trying to make women into sexual robots who respond to physical impulses!”
Tough room. The doctor claims that not only is this very small cluster of grape-like pods in a sac the g-spot, but that it can rupture or weaken most likely during labor trauma. So it seems that having kids could really dent your sexual desire. Regardless, he only found this in one woman, 84 years old. As we do know, every woman is different. The g-spot may be large or small or even non-existent. The problem is that humans tend to get caught up in the whirlwind of “OMG, I Must Be Dysfunctional.” Not only that, it only measured 8.1 mm by 1.5-3.6 mm by 0.4 mm. Harder to find than the clitoris! (Which is not hard to find at all! See: http://quantumcogitation.com/2008/10/15/the-amazing-clitoris/)
So what are you going to do? This is where Synchronicity happens:
It is National Masturbation Month!!!!!
So let’s go exploring! Let’s break out our Official Doc Johnson Lubricant and Official Doc Johnson Toys and go spelunking. We have all sorts of toys and gizmos to reach everyplace you have thought of and several that you haven’t. If you need some masturbation tips, please refer to these wonderful columns:
http://quantumcogitation.com/2011/05/27/airing-the-orchid-or-women-are-wankers-too/
Or check in with my Dear Friend Dr Suzy: http://bloggamy.com/masturbation-month-news/
But first some important news: There is nothing wrong with you if you cannot locate your G-Spot. Some women are much more sensitive than others and every woman is different. I would hate it if you were all the same. So take your time. Explore yourself alone or with a special friend. The goal is not finding the g-spot. The goal is your feeling good, having fun and feeling fulfilled. Each of you is special and I love you dearly for it. Relax, don’t worry. Masturbate yourself to bliss!
Other Breaking News:
A recent study shows that men think about Sex, Food and Sleep. In that order. Can you say “DUH!” How can I get paid to conduct these studies. (Point of difference: The study was done with college aged men between 18-25. I am a bit older and my order is Food, Drink, WOMAN, Sleep…)
Yet another study published in The American Journal of Medicine states that with many older women, sex gets better as they age. I am still not surprised. Older women know what works for them and how to achieve satisfaction. Like I mentioned earlier, it is all about your satisfaction. Satisfied women are happy women. Happy women (come in California) make happy men. Let’s do this people!
And finally: the FDA approves a new drug for the treatment of erectile dysfunction! Huzzah! Men suffering from ED need to masturbate too! It is called Stendra and should be taken 30 minutes before sexual activity. It is also a PDE5, so all the same warnings about nitrates, vision, hearing, etc, etc, etc.
Thanks for visiting! Now wash your hands and let’s go get something to eat!
3-Minute Poem (or, Wookies? Seriously?)
23 Mar 2012 1 Comment
in 3-Minute Poem, Bad Poetry, Male Sexuality Tags: 3-Minute Poem, Male Sexuality
Kids today like fantastical things,
Androids, computers and Wookies.
I’m old-school, and loves me some
Fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies.
It’s true. Bring me some fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies and you will see that gleam in my eye. Be ready for a XXX throw-down. And remember, I am the Undefeated Championship Belt Holder!
(If you can’t deliver the cookies to me in-person, please enclose naughty photos with your package…)
Between the Holidays (or, Stuck in the Middle with You!)
16 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment
in Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex Tags: Blowjob, fellatio, fetish, orgasm, sex, sexuality, sweet semen
With all the holidays happening, my head is spinning!
However, right now we are between two very important holidays, SBJ Day and St Patrick’s Day.
What’s SBJ Day? Well, it is one of the most important dates in history. Many holidays revolve around women. Particularly, Valentine’s Day.
Valentine’s Day is all about the ladies. We woo them with chocolate, flowers, dinners, dancing, Broadway shows and most importantly, jewelry! Men give consideration for their significant others’ feelings and try to listen after they say, “Sounds like you had a rough day. Want to talk about it?”
As such, men finally decided that they need a holiday of their own. One which speaks to their inner self and needs. A day that, if all goes according to plan, leaves them happy, fulfilled and ever so appreciative of their partners.
Yes, March 14th is designated as “Steak and Blow Job Day.” See, men are just not as complicated as women. Feed us a steak, suck our dick, swallow some seed and we are yours for life. (OK, there are some guys who qualify as “Playas” but we do not count them as men.)
I’m not about to tell those of you not on the receiving end of Steak and BJ Day how to grill a steak. Put it on, turn it over, take it off. Add BBQ sauce to taste. (Hope you remembered to marinate the steak!)
But Blow Jobs. Ladies, we need to talk. How do you give a great blow job? 90% of the act is the attitude. If you obviously are not enjoying it, we are not enjoying it either. So if you do not like sucking cock, we are going to have a problem. Now some men do not care. I have never met these men. It seems that whether you are straight or gay, you want your dick sucked.
So do I. And here is how you win Dr Tim’s undying love and affection:
1. Have fun with it! Make it game, put a little captain hat on him and tell him to prepare for a tropical storm. How many licks does it take?
2. Use your tongue. There is no such thing as too much tongue. Broad flat strokes, pointed scroll work, make that hurricane tongue swirl around and around the head.
3. Actually move your head. Believe it or not, some folks think a blow job consists of putting the head in their mouth and waiting. This does not work. Slide your lips up and down the shaft. Move it from side to side. We need some motion in the ocean.
4. Please do not forget to lick our balls. We hate having dry balls and only you can save us. Pop those balls in and out of your mouth. Chase them around with your tongue. Take them both in your mouth and pull. Balls are fun. Do not be afraid of them.
5. Some may disagree with me on this one, but using your hands is not cheating! Play with my balls, tickle my taint, stroke the shaft in a twisting grip while your tongue circles the opposite way around the head. Even nipple pinching is fair game. If my cock is in your mouth, just about anything goes.
6. Except teeth. We do not like razors being run up and down out cocks. Either cover them with your lips or open your mouth wider and let your lips create a suction seal.
7. Swallow. For me, nothing makes me feel loved in bed more than someone swallowing my semen. If you are a bit squeamish, see this article: http://quantumcogitation.com/2011/06/16/to-completion-or-spitters-are-quitters/ If you still do not want to swallow, would you please let me shoot my load on your breasts? Cum-covered boobs are very attractive and won’t mess up your hair.
8. Rimming is optional.
Basically, that’s it. Not so difficult really. Of course there are thousands of permutations and combinations that you can do to surprise your loved ones. And if your man wants to know where you learned how to do what you just did, do not mention my name! I still have to hide from a husband who, when he and his wife were testing a new butt lube, heard his wife whisper, “Thanks Tim!”
Oh St Patrick’s Day. I colored my privates green. Anyone want to kiss my Blarney Stones?
Happy Valentine’s Day!
14 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
in 2012, Doc Johnson, Psychology, Valentine's Day Tags: emotion, men, Psychology, Transexual, Valentine's Day, women
Power Flowers!
Happy Valentine’s Day! Remember, I love YOU and there is nothing you can do about it.
