Ho, Ho, Ho (or What Dr Tim wants for Christmas)

Many people ask me questions.

You wouldn’t believe the things they ask of me.  Well, some of you would.  If you are a regular reader of this blog, well you are probably almost as unshockable as me.  I can be surprised, but not easily shocked.

Some people actually remember me back in my younger days, before home computers, cell phones or pocket calculators.  Yes, Dr Tim still has a slide rule and knows how to use it!

So these folks say, “Dr Tim, you used to be a funny guy.  Did you ever do celebrity impressions?”

I have one.  Only one and I only perform it in December.  But for all of you who asked, actually, nobody asked.  But they shouldn’t have to ask!  I am just that kind of guy.

You don’t have to thank me, but you do have to click on the link below:

http://youtu.be/X3az_q4WFI0

Don’t forget to tip your waitresses!  (But be careful, you have to pay them when they get back up…)

World AIDS Day 2011

Let’s get real folks.  There is a serious pandemic going on in the world called HIV/AIDS.

HIV – Human Immunodeficiency Virus

AIDS – Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (the final stage of HIV)

HIV is a virus that attacks your immune system making you unable to fight off infections or even cancer.

It was first coming to light when I was in college some 30+ years ago.  Back then it was called the “Gay Cancer” because what little we knew was that you could only get it if you were gay, an intravenous drug user or Haitian.  We didn’t know.  We were young, stupid and foolish.  Nobody really knew what was happening or why.

HIV/AIDS was officially recognized in 1981.  Since then the World Health Organization has estimated that it has killed over 25 million people world-wide.  That number is probably low.

It is the sixth leading cause of death among people ranging from 25-44 in the United States.  It was number one in 1995.

Right now there are an estimated 33 million people living with HIV.  Over two million of those are children under the age of 15.

Chances are that you know and love someone who has HIV.  No need to wear a Hazmat suit.  You cannot get HIV/AIDS by shaking hands, hugging, touching something that an infected person has touched or anything foolish like that.  And no one is safe!  It affects men, women, straight, gay, bi, black, white, asian, hispanic, everyone.  Africa is being decimated.  It is estimated that Africa accounts for 72% of all HIV/AIDS cases in the world.

I’m going to give you some links that Dr Tim trusts and believes in to give you reliable information.  Check them out.

http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/default.htm

http://www.aids.org/

http://www.aids.gov/

http://www.aids.gov/world-aids-day/

http://www.webmd.com/hiv-aids/default.htm

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000594.htm

http://promotions.usa.gov/worldaidsday.html  (brochure about HIV & Women.  click the link to read the brochure, the information is only if you are ordering copies)

Now there are many graphic photos which I could add to this post, but I don’t think I will.  Take it from Dr Tim, AIDS is a very unpleasant, painful, ugly way to die.  I have been with friends as they died from AIDS.  I have interfaced between widowed lovers and families.  I have cleaned out their homes.  I have been yelled at, physically attacked and abused by those left behind with their grief.  No, this is not a good way to die.

Wearing a red ribbon is not a proclamation that I am against HIV/AIDS.  Everyone is against disease.  I do not wear one to make you think I am better than you.  That is a waste of time.

I wear a red ribbon so that those who are suffering can see it and know they have a friend, that they can come to me for help and that I will do anything I can to help ease their suffering.

We have lost friends, family, athletes, movie stars, musicians and so many more to this disease.

I’ve said it before, but please be careful and treat your life with respect.  I do not want to lose any more of you.

What Did You Call Me? (or, Whiny Post, No Cheese or Crackers!))

You never think it could happen to you…

If I had known what was going to happen, I never would have gone.  But I did.

Yes, I went to the Biannual Society of Cosmetic Chemists Suppliers’ Day event at the Long Beach Convention Center.These were my peeps, my buddies, my pals.  We have stood side by side with beakers in our hands making a more beautiful tomorrow.  We had been to more disreputable clubs together and seen things that would turn a weaker man into jelly.  Yes we were held by bond stronger than most, its name is Bond, Ionic Bond.  (Chemistry joke.)

We had each other’s backs through acquisitions, lay-offs, marriages, divorces.  You never expect those folks to turn on you.

At the show I couldn’t go three feet without having someone yell, “Hey Dr Tim, over here!” or “Wait Dr Tim, I need to talk with you!” even “Dr Tim, I need your advice.”

Three hundred booths, seven hundred conversations.  It’s a good life.  If you are strong enough.

Then it happened.  One of my old buddies brought a baby chemist over to see me.  (A baby chemist is anyone with less than 25 years in the business.)  My friend said to me, “Tell this kid that the Noodle Incident* really happened.”

*Some incident names have been changed to protect the innocent.

“Of course it happened.  You were there.”

And then…

“Wow Dr Tim, Sir.  You are a Legend!  I can’t wait to tell everyone that I met you.”

WHAT????

When did that happen?  But it gets worse.  Not two rows later I get called an Icon of the Industry.  By an international group of chemists.  Apparently I am known from California to Japan.  The long way.  And the question that pesters me is “Why?”

What did I do that was so special?  Nothing comes to mind.  I have worked hard and long in my laboratory for almost 30 years.  Lost two wives and families because of my work.  Did I have a major breakthrough that helps humanity?  Doubtful.  Did I make a lot of people wealthy with my work?  Certainly.

(And speaking of my work, go buy some Official Doc Johnson toys and lubes!  The Sasha Grey Love Spit will blow your mind.  Or if the jacuzzi is your thing, try our new and improved iLube.  A cushiony silicone ride through the night.)

Did I touch people?  Probably.  I was a pizza guy once myself you know.  More people seem to remember me than I remember them.  Half of me calls BS, the other half loves the attention.

Apparently I live my life loud and proud with my freak flag unfurled, surviving and thriving in the corporate world.  I guess everyone does love the bad boy.

Am I bragging or complaining?  Not too sure yet.  Definitely a little of both.

Oh, on the lighter side, a female chemist caught me using a Star Trek reference.  She is the first one to spot it ever!  Major props.

I'm feeling it!

Dr Tim – the Man, the Icon, the Legend.  Let me help you get your freak on!  No muff too tough!  No trick too sick!

Bare Naked Bake Sale (or, helping people who help charity rocks!)

So I have this friend…

Really!  I do have a friend and she is one of the hardest working ladies I know.  Smart, funny, talented, married (damn), and dedicated to the cause.  We may not agree on everything, but we do agree on one thing.

People in this world need help.  And we want to help.  We would give the shirt off our backs to help.  So she did and the Bare Naked Bake Sale was born.

The website will be going live soon.  To read the back story, go here: http://barenakedbakesale.wordpress.com/

Sign up for updates here: http://bnakedb.kickofflabs.com/?s=1MZG

I believe.  I am a financial contributor and spirit coach.

I also did a short clip featuring their slogan; “I can change the world with the shirt off my back.”

If moobs offend you, do not click this link!  http://www.youtube.com/user/justinawalford#p/u/3/urf2LZsvOIk

You can follow Justina on Twitter (http://twitter.com/#!/JustinaWalford)

What are you doing to make the world a better place?

Real Men Do Cry (Never Forget…)

To Absent Friends...

Where was I that day?  I was in bed.  I was laid off and feeling sorry for myself.  My phone rang and someone asked me if I heard the news?  “Who cares,” I said, “same old, same old.”  I turned the TV on after they hung up on me.

I saw, I heard, I got my ass out of bed and went to the blood bank.  Then I maxed out my credit cards sending what I could to those who needed it.  Needless to say, I no longer felt sorry for myself  I was in shame of my selfishness.

From that day forward, mankind has been my business.  I don’t give till it hurts, I give till it’s gone.  I am a religious man.  And I pray every night for strength and guidance to go forward, helping whomever I can.  And I can’t save everyone.  And I thank G-d for all of the unsung heroes who put their lives on the line for others.  The work is never-ending and the burden is great.  We need everyone to help.

Never forget.  Never stop trying to end Hell on earth.  I love you all and there is nothing you can do about it.

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