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Entering the Home Stretch (or, Dream BIG!)

What a big asshole!

With whom am I angry?  No one.  No one at all.  Today we talk about stretching.  Not stretch marks, not playing 21 when you are 70.  Orifice stretching.

Over 11 inches around!

Over 11 inches around!

That’s right folks, we are stretching open your asshole!  Some people develop a real fetish about how far they can enlarge their anal opening.  Why?  Who knows?  One suggestion is that taking something bigger each time is like losing your virginity all over again.  Start small, and sooner or later, we have a new car port.

So how to start?  Well, remember that time your finger broke through the toilet paper and your eyes flew open when you sank in knuckle-deep?  That’s one way.  Or you could start with a small dildo.  Or…

Work it up or work your way down!

Work it up or work your way down!

Doc Johnson has all types of toys and devices to satisfy all of your anal needs.  Now you may be saying, “Dr Tim, those look so cold and impersonal.  How can I get a human touch without actually involving another human?”  We can help.

Feels so good!

Feels so good!

See?  We are here to help you open up and let the sun shine in!  Even if it is the place “where the sun doesn’t shine,” usually.

That doesn’t actually address why people stuff such large toys into their openings.  Some like the feeling of fullness, being airtight.  Others take the humiliation route (keep it consensual!) and like to be “forced” into surrendering themselves to massive insertions.  I know a couple of people who just like the challenge and want to be known as the one who sat on a Honda and it disappeared!

Now Dr Tim loves a nice, easy access orifice, but I would like to them to be able to feel me as well.  So let’s take just a moment or two and talk about taking care of your ass.

Actually, let me refer you to a very wise and learned blog post: https://quantumcogitation.com/2010/04/30/interesting-question-caution-naughtiness-ahead/

There I cover the anatomy of the anus, different scenarios and good things about butt-fucking.  Just remember a few things: Keep your ass clean, do your kegels and use lots and lots of lube!  (Did I mention that Doc Johnson sells lubricants?  Thought so.  Daddy needs to get paid!)

Water-based but feels like silicone!

Water-based but feels like silicone!

So spank it, lick it, fuck it, kiss it, spread it and take pictures!  Just remember to love your asshole and use genuine Doc Johnson lubes and toys.  (And be on the look out for our Oralove flushable feminine hygiene wipes!)

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Care & Feeding (or Keeping your dildo happy)

Dildos.  Vibrators.  Soybeans.  Tofu.  (Well, they are meat substitutes…)

I am talking about the care and maintenance of your Mom’s Best Friend.

We get many questions about what lubricants to use with which toys, so I thought I would run down the list.

UR3:

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Lifelike material – Phthalate Free: Use water-based lube.  Sure, you could use silicone lube, but be sure to wash that bad boy off right away!

PVC Soft

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Bendable – Phthalate Free: Use water-based lube.  Yes, you can use silicone too or even Crisco, but wash it up when you finish!

PVC Hard

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Non-flexible – Phthalate Free: Any old lube you want to use!  Wash afterwards.  (Hey!  Did you see this one on House of Lies?  You HAVE to get Showtime!)

Jelly

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Soft – Bendable – Phthalate Free: Use water-based lube!

Silicone:

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100% Platinum Cured Silicone: Use water-based lube!  Some silicone toys are incompatible with some silicone lubes.  Makes them melt.  Tread carefully and if you insist on using a silicone based lube, wash, wash, wash right away after use.

Now I didn’t want you guys to feel left out although I know quite a few of you use vibrators and dildos too.  So:

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Please her, tease her, love her and use her.  But you must wash her too!  Preferably before you fall asleep…