Who’s Got Them? (Besides me…)

“If all of your friends jump off a bridge would you jump too?”

Sound familiar?  And not just from your Mother either.  I bet you hear that from your Regulatory Departments at least once a week.  And just like Mom, you sometimes ignore the advice and end up paying for it later.  And those particular lessons can be very costly indeed.

Ethics.  Some folks, particularly those in government, think our industry does not have them.  Well, we do, but like another thing Mom told us, “One rotten apple can spoil the barrel.” 

And so it goes for all of us.  All it takes is for one dishonest manufacturer to bring the FDA, FCC, and many other organizations down upon us.  And what could trigger such devestation?  Unsubstantiated claims for one.

Have you ever read the copy on a jar, a pamphlet or package and think, “Wow!  This is amazing!  Not only will it give me earth-shattering orgasms, but it will cure my STD’s too!”  If you did, there is a problem.  Anything that cures a condition is a drug.  Drugs require lots of safety testing, proof of efficacy, a special license and a boat-load of money.

I can pretty much guarantee that no adult novelty company is filing any New Drug Applications.

“But wait Dr. Tim!” you may say, “You make OTC Drugs!”  Yes we do, but there is a monograph that must be followed, specific language that must be used and other certain limitations which must be followed.

There is a big difference between “Delays the onset of premature ejaculation” and “Last ten times longer!”  Guess which one is correct.

Basically, if you claim it, you have to be able to prove it.  Phthalate-free is popular these days, but you need proof from your manufacturer that the product is indeed Phthalate-free.  It does no good to say it just because you believe it and then Greenpeace or someone tests it and calls you a liar in the media.  Unless you are a movie star or rock star, bad press is not good press.  And if you make drug claims, you better be able to back them up and have yourself and your product registered at the FDA. 

Yes, it does take time and it does cost money to do everything correctly.  But if you do, when the sweep comes, you may just be the last man standing.  Right next to me.

Ethics.  Got ’em?

Tricky, tricky, tricky (or The Economy and You)

So, how’s it going these days?

A little rough?  Yeah, here too.  I mean the economy, the environment, politics, well everything is getting complicated.

For example: To save the Earth, stop using plastic bags!  Makes sense.  Plastic takes a long time to break-down and quite frankly the landfills are stuffed with plastic bags and bottles.  But guess what?  I put “Plastic bag manufacturer” + “plant closure” into a search engine and discovered that globally over 30,000 people have lost their jobs due to factories that make those plastic bags have had to close!  Decreased demand equals decreased supply equals decreased employment.

The economy is tanking, people are losing their jobs and you would rather save the planet?  Like I said, tricky.

And that brings me to sex toys.

How?  Easy.  When my mind gets frantic with political correctness, war, trauma, the economy, etc, nothing clears the mind better (in less time than time than meditation) than a good orgasm.  A good orgasm clears the mind, relieves the stress and generally brightens the day.  Now when it comes to orgasming, I’m a pretty handy guy. 😉

But sometimes you need more to really make it memorable.  Whether you are with your significant other, a friendly group or flying solo, toys and lubes can help.  And while there are many, many excellent products on the market, you should buy everything that my company makes.  (Remember the bit about decreased demand?  Daddy needs to get paid!)  There are all types of strokers, dildos, butt plugs, vibrators, cock rings, pumps, lubes, creams and stuff for every taste and every flavor.  If you aren’t sure what to buy, ask me!  I can help.

“But Dr Tim!” you say, “Everything seems so expensive!”  Well, yes.  Good sex toys can be pricey, but look at it this way: You could buy a sex swing, a good vibrator and some lube or go on vacation.  A vacation is over in a week, but those sex toys are something you will have for a long, long time.  (Apologies to Woody Allen.)

So leave your inhibitions at the door, grab your favorite partner or toy, put Skinimax on the flat screen and get it on!  Remember porn stars only have you in mind!  And do what they do just for you and at some level of personal risk as well.  God bless them one and all!

Slide it, slip it, clamp it or tie it.  Whatever gets you there.  I don’t judge, but studies have shown that folks with frequent sexual activity tend to be more even-tempered, calm, cool and collected.  You are cool aren’t you?  Some say that everyone should have at least three orgasms a week.

So I’m doing my bit.  How about you?

Secrets (Shhh!)

Be vewy, vewy quiet.  I’m hunting celebrities!

And don’t tell anybody either!  It’s a secret!

What kind of secret?  Well, it is a shameless plug of a secret!  Our Director of PR/Marketing used her skill of persuasion most elegantly when she sweetly whispered to me, “Promote our summer secret promotion or I will have your goodies on the anvil.  And you know I can do it too!”

Here it is: http://topsecretroom.topcosales.us/

Check it out.  Have some fun.  Watch a video, look at pictures, see a photo of Lindsey Lohan.  Keep me out of the blacksmith’s shed!  (Although the leather is intriguing…)