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Dog Days of Summer (or Howl at the Moon, it’s cooler then…)

Hot enough for you?

Hey!  If you are going to throw things, either make them soft or made out of ice cream!

Back in the Midwest, when I was just a Baby Chemist, we had a saying in August.  Now keep in mind in those days Dr Tim was a young, strong, wiry lad with fire in his soul and mischief in his eyes.  I was working for the County in the Secondary Road Department.  Yes, I’m the guy that held the stick on the survey crew.  It was an afternoon when we were in the Shop to pick up some supplies when I first heard it.

“It’s too hot to fuck!”

Now that is really saying something!  “You can fry an egg on the sidewalk.”  “It’s hotter than Hell.”  “So hot my shadow was looking for shade.”  “That’ll melt your ice cream.”  Statements that we hear, but don’t make much of an impact on us.  But when a man or woman says, “It’s too hot to fuck.”  Well!  Can you seriously name anything that would prevent you from fucking if fucking was available?  Me either.

Now it is belief on mine that Humans are nocturnal by nature.  We were only forced to live in the sunlit world by the advent of the agricultural age.  People aren’t supposed to be out in the sun!  Sleep by day, hunt by night.  That’s living!  I thrive on moonlight and the sun is not my friend.  And don’t even get me started on vampires!  Cold lifeless sadness drinking blood to feel alive but for a night?  Awful!  Now werewolves, they have an abundance of life energy.  Living in the moment, intimate with nature and in bed?  WHEW!  That’s life up at the sharp end.

Back to the heat.  So if it is too hot to fuck, what are you going to do?  Perform 68 with your partner?  (68 – you blow me and I’ll owe you one.)  Watch “Scrubs” reruns and masturbate to fantasies of Dr Kelso?  Almost!  You can have a slow, easy wanking session using your Official Doc Johnson toys!  WHOO-HOO!!!  You know you love it.

But if you need to be reminded, go here: https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/05/27/airing-the-orchid-or-women-are-wankers-too/ or here: https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/05/06/national-masturbation-month-part-1-im-not-jerking-you-around-here/

Seriously, Two hot sweaty bodies really screw up the bed. Especially if there is a power outage or your air conditioning doesn’t work.  Grab the sofa, your Sasha Grey Love Spit Lube (seriously, it is awesome!) and your Doc Johnson dildos, vibrator, stroker or strap-ons.  Lay back under the fan and tease yourself slowly.  Think about something that really turns you on and let your hands wander.

Need a long, slow deep-dicking?  Lube up that dildo, fasten that strap-on to a cushion or pillow and ride or slide at your sexiest pace.  Men, do the same with your stroker.  Use lots of lube, it feels cool and wet.  Add the vibrator that will tickle your private places without doubling the sweat on the sheets.  Ever sit on an ice pack while masturbating?  Try it!  You may just love it!  You know, glass dildos can be kept in the freezer for just such an emergency as well.

Or, for my fans that are hardcore, slip a few ice cubes or a popsicle in your back door.  Not only will it intensify your orgasm, but you will have the coldest experience since that one time with the snow bunnies outside the lodge at Big Bear during January!  But careful, this technique is not for rookies.  Hardcore only please.  Beginners should work their way up to this by fucking over an open freezer or over a 50 # bag of ice wrapped in a towel.  Ever do it in a wading pool full of ice water?  It is GOOD, trust me.

So it’s August, it’s hot and your partner is a sweaty slob.  Don’t let that stop you from having the orgasms you deserve!  Use a little creativity and don’t forget to take the Doc along for the ride.  Remember: If it’s as good as Cock, it must be from the Doc!  If rubber pussy makes you want some, call on old Doc Johnson.

Didn’t quite rhyme, but you get the jism gist of it.  Besides, where are you going to get a sex toy blog that has human evolution, werewolves, vampires and ice up the ass?

From Dr Tim, that’s who!

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Cuckolds (or Hook ’em Horns)

An interesting question was posed to me this week.

Why are cuckold films so popular?

I have no idea.  However, I do know a little bit about the Hot Wife/cuckold phenomenon.

Some of you have already gone to Wikipedia to look up “Cuckold,” so I will just give the brief alleged origin of the term.  You see, there is this bird called the cuckoo.  Besides living in clocks, the female will lay its eggs in another birds nest so that someone else raises the offspring.  This is a similar deal.  Hot Wife goes out and gets knocked up by a man other than her husband so that the husband ends up raising someone else’s kid.  There is often denial of sex for the cuckolded husband.

How do these people’s minds work?

Lots of answers of which all or none of may be correct.

1. The stress of sexual relations is too much for the husband.  He wants his wife to be happy so he gives her permission to get the sexual satisfaction she deserves.  Very selfless and giving.

2. The husband feels inadequate and grudgingly gives consent for his wife to get what he cannot provide.  i.e., multiple orgasms, a large cock, a “real” man, group sex, etc.

3. The husband is unaware that his wife is getting sexual satisfaction elsewhere.

4. The husband may just get his jollies watching and doesn’t care for real sex.

5. The husband may be into humiliation and lets his dominatrix wife do as she please to torment him.

6. The wife’s sex drive may be too big for him to accommodate.

7. The husband is bi and gets off being the beta male.

8. There may be blackmail involved.

Some folks will say this is not right, but if everyone is happy with the situation, who are we to comment?  If they are unhappy, well hopefully they will find some help to change their circumstances.

We need to be careful not to confuse cuckolds with swingers.  A cuckold may be a swinger, but not every swinger is a cuckold.  In a swinging relationship, each partner has sex with however many people they desire.  In a cuckold relationship, the Hot Wife gets to have sex with however many people they desire and the cuckold is either faithful or abstinent.  Sometimes they add interracial play for more humiliation.  (Side note: Dr Tim does not believe that having sex with someone from a different race would denigrate anything.)

And do not confuse a Hot Wife with a Slut Wife.  Remember, the Hot Wife has a husband at home who gets no action from his lawfully wedded bride.  Everyone gets the Slut Wife.

A friend of mine who practices this lifestyle tells me that it is the toughest thing in the world for him, but seeing his wife’s happiness makes it all worthwhile.  For years, he told me, she would cuckold him by using toys.  She had him go buy different dildos, vibrators, lubes and lotions.  (All Doc Johnson products!)  Then she made him watch as she pleasured herself.  At first, she let him masturbate while watching.  After a while that stopped.  They purchased a strap-on and a male chastity device.  His junk was locked up and she would use the strap-on to stretch his orifices.  Eventually she started meeting other men and bringing them home to fuck so he could watch.  And yes, he does clean up the cream pies.  Currently he has been in that chastity device for over three years.  They seem very much in love.

How does Dr Tim know so much about his friends’ sex lives?  I get invited to either participate or hold the camcorder.  (I love holding the camcorder!)  In a way, I am a documentarian of sex in America.  I just don’t own any of the footage.

So why are cuckold films becoming so popular?  My best guess is that more and more people are finally becoming more secure in their sexuality.  Men want to fuck other men’s wives and “conquer” their husbands.  Some men want to watch their wives lose themselves in orgasm at another’s hands.  Some men have little to no self-respect and are self-destructive.  (Not nice to make the wives a party to that!)  Some men are submissive and don’t want rights, they want duties.

Some women like having multiple partners, or humiliating/hurting their husbands, will do it to please him or any of a myriad of reasons.  I also read a paper that explains that cuckolding is the first step in establishing a World Gynarchy.  Subdue your husbands and take control kind of stuff.  Scary.

If cuckolding is for you, go get it!  Just remember to love yourself and others.  If you guys truly love each other, there is no wrong way to express it.