03 Feb 2017
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, Breasts, Couples Sexuality, Female, Female Sexuality, Humanity, Medical, Physiology, Safe Sex, sexuality, Women
Tags: Couples sex talk, emotion, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, Psychology, Science, sex, sexuality, women
I’m baaack!
Today is February 3rd, or Wear Red Day promoting heart health for women. Serious stuff! Now you can skip my rambling and go to http://www.fda.gov/ForConsumers/ByAudience/ForWomen/WomensHealthTopics/ucm117974.htm and check it out for yourself.
For your convenience, you can find the information in 18 different languages here: http://www.fda.gov/ForConsumers/ByAudience/ForWomen/FreePublications/ucm126287.htm
There are four basic tenets:
- Eat a heart healthy diet. Basically low salt/sodium, limit trans fats and cut back on sugar. Stuff we all know how to do, but rarely practice. (Guilty!)
- Manage your health conditions. If you have high cholesterol, blood pressure, diabetic problems. Get on the wagon and take care of them. These can lead to heart problems. Take your medications and follow your doctor’s advice.
- Get the facts about aspirin. Taking a daily aspirin for preventing heart attacks and strokes is not right for everyone. So talk to your doctor. That way you can dial in the appropriate dosage, etc. And remember to remind them of any other medications you are taking. I know your doctor should know, but we cannot remember everything all the time.
- Know the signs of a heart attack. Men and women can have different symptoms, so be sure you go over the links I posted above. Also, check out this video that Elizabeth Banks did a few years ago. She had a heart attack in real life. https://youtu.be/t7wmPWTnDbE
Fine. That’s under your chest. Now let’s go downstairs. (I am great at foreplay!)
Pelvic Inflammatory Disease: An estimated 2.5 million women have an often symptomless infection of the urinary tract that can lead to infertility and lasting abdominal pain. The infection can be cured however, if left untreated long enough, the physical damage may be permanent. PID is a complication of a previous sexually transmitted disease or STD. https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/66/wr/mm6603a3.htm
Yes, we are talking about everybody’s friends chlamydia and gonorrhea. Around 1.5 million cases of chlamydia and 400,000 cases of gonorrhea were reported in 2015. That’s reported, and we know that not everyone reports their health situations. Here’s the thing: these diseases often do not show symptoms and can go undiagnosed and untreated. Now if that leads to PID:
“Pelvic inflammatory disease symptoms may include persistent abdominal pain, fever, abnormal vaginal discharge, or pain or bleeding during sexual intercourse. PID poses long-term hazards such as infertility, chronic pelvic pain and ectopic pregnancy. Ectopic pregnancies occur when an embryo implants in the fallopian tube instead of the uterus.
No single test can diagnose PID, so doctors often rely on symptom reporting. But PID often doesn’t cause symptoms. “That’s one of the scariest things because you may not know it’s even happening,” she said.” https://medlineplus.gov/news/fullstory_163399.html
Your background doesn’t matter. If you are sexually active, get tested every year or as often as your insurance will pay for it. (Adult actors test every month!) Because the more active you are with different partners, the bigger your risk. Make sure that use condoms or other barrier protections. It is a rough world out there.
So that was a very romantic and sexy return for Quantum Cogitation. But ladies, take care of yourselves. You cannot make a difference if you are not around. Plus, I still think I have a shot with you! Are you a beaver? Cuz, Dam!
I will be back more often so please keep sending those cards, letters, photos and videos coming.
10 Aug 2015
by Mystertim
in Anal Sex, Butt Sex, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male, Male Sexuality, Men, Oral Sex, Orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, Safe Sex, sex toys, Strap-ons, Uncategorized
Tags: anal sex, Couples sex talk, emotion, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, Male Sexuality, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, sex toys, strap-on, women
Sexting is awesome! Fun, titillating and gives me a reason to not hate having a smartphone.
However, it is also fraught with danger, especially for children. But for adults, a recent study shows so much benefit from nasty texts.
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/news/fullstory_154019.html
88% of the folks in the survey admitted to texting. Almost nine out of ten. That is a whole lot of data usage. And it turns out that women tend to send sexts instead of receiving them. Food for thought? And that almost 75% of the respondents exchanged sexts with a committed partner. Warms the heart. As mentioned in the article, perhaps that is one way couples can talk about sex if a face-to-face discussion would be too intense for them. I am certainly in favor for anything that improves communication between partners. With luck, sexting fantasies can make their way into the bedroom, boardroom or even the garage!
As stated in the article, “But greater sexting frequency was linked to greater sexual satisfaction among both men and women, particularly when sexters were in a relationship, the survey found. In fact, with the exception of those who said they were in a “very committed” relationship, couples who sexted more often were more likely to say they were satisfied with their relationship. For those in very committed relationships, sexting made no difference in sexual satisfaction, the study found.
By contrast, sexting had little effect on sexual satisfaction for people who weren’t in relationships. Twenty-six percent of the group described themselves as single, the survey found.”
So for better or for worse, sexting is here to stay.
So how do you feel about sexting? Dr Tim certainly enjoys it. And knowing that those sexts are out there in the cyber universe doesn’t bother me in the least. Oh my goodness, the government might discover that I enjoy sex! Heavens, I feel that I may swoon. And for those of us that work too much and play too little, it seems as that is as close to “afternoon delight” as most of us get these days. In fact, perhaps the mighty Doc Johnson could help make your sexts a little sweeter to your sweetie.
Imagine sending a little something using some of these items:

That will light up their eyes and fire that devious imagination. But then that is probably why you sent them a sext in the first place! Have fun, win awards and as always, keep sending in those naughty sexts and videos. Dr Tim loves each and every one of you!
11 May 2015
by Mystertim
in AIDS, Butt Sex, Female, Female Sexuality, HIV/AIDS, Humanity, Male, Male Sexuality, Oral Sex, Psychology, Safety, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, emotion, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, sex, sexuality
I didn’t want to say “I told you so,” but…
I told you so. A study out of San Diego State University tells us that Millenials have fewer life-time sexual partners than either the Gen-Xers or the Baby Boomers. In fact, Gen-X can’t keep up with the Boomers.
Lead author, Jean Twenge, says that there is a huge shift going on in sexual attitudes and behaviors. This study looked at almost 57,000 people so here is the break-down:
Years Born Classification Average # of sexual partners in a lifetime
1900-1927 Greatest Generation 3
1928-1945 Silent Generation 5
1946-1964 Baby Boomers 12
1965-1980 Generation X 10
1980-2004 Millenials 8
2005-2015 Homeland Generation (designated by the White House https://www.whitehouse.gov/sites/default/files/docs/millennials_report.pdf)
Now I cannot vouch for those statistics. I am a Boomer and twelve? That was my first week in college! But then old Dr Tim has always been a caring, sharing free love kinda guy.
Things to account for the lower number of sexual partners lists such things as HIV, AIDS and utilizing Friends with Benefits rather than going home with strangers. (In my day, sex was how you made friends.)
On the other hand, the study says that the younger generations, while not getting as much as Moms and Pops, are more tolerant and accepting of premarital sex and same-sex relationships. The percentage of people who said that premarital sex “was not wrong at all” rose from 13% in 1990 to 58% in 2012. Likewise same-sex relationships rose in approval from 13% to 44%. Women tended to be more tolerant of homosexuality, but more conservative about premarital sex. Guess how the men responded…
We’ve come a long way baby, but we still have a long way to go.
You can read the whole article in the May 5 issue of the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior. (Source: Jean Twenge, Ph.D., professor of psychology, San Diego State University; May 5, 2015, Archives of Sexual Behavior)
Doc Johnson – We have the toys and body glides for every generation. You need ’em, we got ’em. And we never judge. (We just want to hold the camcorder.) How you handle your sex life is your business and our pleasure. Or rather, your pleasure and our business.
We don’t even mind if you hipsters only use our products ironically.
01 Jan 2013
by Mystertim
in 2012, ANME, Doc Johnson, Psychology
Tags: 2012, 2013, Anderson Cooper, ANME, emotion, Kathy Griffin, Psychology, sex toys
Ho, ho, ho! Happy New Year!
Now I certainly do not want to rain on your Rose Parade, but…
All that happened was this little ball of dirt we call home completed another circuit around the sun. Hooray.
We are celebrating Cosmic Nascar. And Mercury just lapped us again.
Oh Bother! (Yes, bother. Didn’t you read the classics when you were a kid?)
However, I am a not fussy man. Not like Old Uncle Bloggsy, who has his own blog; http://www.newberry.org/book-fair-blog. He puts the “mudge” in curmudgeon.
2012 was full of memorable events. Some of which filled me with joy, others that left me sobbing by the side of the road. Nevertheless, it was ride not to be missed. Now that I think of it, perhaps New Year doesn’t come from a bottle. And the true meaning of New Year is something much more. It is a reference point. And any scientist will tell you, reference points are most important. This is a time when we traditionally look at ourselves and assess the good and the bad.
So how did you do?
Dr Tim’s year was a bit extreme. I sunk as low as a man could go. Went into isolation. Hell looked like Heaven after what I was going through. And it burned. I had my soul hammered on the anvils of Hell. My thoughts, principles, ethics and life were in balance. And I almost let go. Would have been easy too. No more pain, no more suffering, no more darn alarm clocks. Death has always fascinated me. When my first wedding became known folks commented that it was like “Edgar Allen Poe marrying Sylvia Plath.” There no longer seemed to be a point.
But then that old spark lit up my brain like the Fourth of July. Seems as though I am made of some pretty stern stuff. I remembered who I was; I was me the whole time. Imagine my surprise. Found my reference point, re-anchored and came out the other side. Singed, but shining. Told you that reference points were important.
And how I laughed as Kathy Griffin kept trying to give Anderson Cooper a blowjob on CNN. She slips down to her knees very easily, if you catch my drift. Suddenly I am much more attracted to her!
2013, how ya doing? Not sure what you have in store for me, but in the words of a famous politician, “Bring It On!”
Oh yes, be sure to love and always use your Official Doc Johnson Toys and Lubes! After all, if I am sticking around, Daddy needs to get paid! (ANME Show next week! Wait until you see what Doc Johnson is bringing soon to a bedroom near you!)
18 May 2012
by Mystertim
in Anal Sex, Couples Sexuality, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Male, Male Sexuality, Men, Oral Sex, Psychology, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Vibrators, Women
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, Couples sex talk, dildo, emotion, fellatio, Female Sexuality, gay, Lesbian, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, vibrator, women
Do you know the difference between a Slut and a Bitch?
A Slut will sleep with anyone A Bitch will sleep with anyone but me!
Let’s talk about Sluts. I love them. Seems like these days, people are into slut shaming. You know the drill, someone is doing the Walk of Shame so you start whispering behind their back, making snarky comments on social networks, checking out their naughty blogs and then sneaking off to rub one out. (Go ahead! It is still National Masturbation Month!)
Jealous much?
Sluts are very special people and need to be treated with understanding and tender loving care. They cannot help themselves, they must share their joy with everyone who has need. Sex is joy And engaging in sex completes the circuit which brings the spirit if ever so briefly as close to Heaven/Nirvana/Valhalla/Fill in the Blank as one can be while still living.
They see sex differently than most. To a Slut, sex is an open expression of love. It is fun. It is something to be shared. And they share it with just about anyone who requests it properly. Depending on the circumstances, properly may be anything from “Stroll with me beneath the moonlight and mayhap we will make a communal offering to the Great Spirit.” to “Meet me behind the dumpster!”
There was a story of a young Dali lama who was asked to cast a woman out for being a slut. She was accused of seducing men, women and all living things. When the Dali lama arrived, he found everyone waiting in line. There was no fighting, pushing or trash talk. And when he walked up to the young lady he could see that her beauty and love outshone the sun. How could he cast out someone whose only crime was that she had been created with such beauty and generosity?
Something to think about people. Much of the evil in this world would not happen if everyone was getting laid. Sluts are the great equalizer. If everyone could be open and honest about their sexual feelings. They could be acted upon and a lot of tension would disappear. Anyone could be a slut, you could be male, female, trans, whatever. There is a Slut for everyone out there.
Oral sex sluts, anal sex sluts, gay sluts, lesbian sluts, sex toy sluts, why there is a whole world of sluttery (or should I say, sluttiosity) out there for you. By the way, don’t forget to pick up your Official Doc Johnson Lubes, Toys and Stuff. Even Sluts need a break now and then.
So what about Whores?
I love them too. Everyone needs to get paid. However, there is a good chance that a Whore has lost their way in drugs, or is being forced into prostitution or is so burned out that they no longer feel the joy. This is a tough old world. However, if more Sluts came out of their closet, fewer Whores would be necessary. In fact, Sluts can put Whores out of business!
But as I said, Sluts need understanding and love. Their hearts can be very tender and to misuse their gifts is what can change a sweet slut into a bitter person. Treat your Slut kindly. And if the Slut around, please understand, their gift is too great to keep to themselves. If they are taking care of your needs, let them fly free. They will come back.
Don’t shame the slut. Worship the Slut.
21 Nov 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Masturbation, Medical
Tags: emotion, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, orgasm, Psychology, Science, sexuality, women
Let’s see a show of hands, who understands how a woman’s mind works?
Nope, nobody. Knew that going in but I had to ask.
However, we do know what is going on in a woman’s mind as she climaxes!
Well, not to the specific thoughts she is having of Antonio Banderas, George Clooney or Dr Tim (people get us confused sometimes) but we do know what parts of her brain are stimulated during orgasm. (Hope she used Sasha’s Love Spit Lube by Doc Johnson! It is AWESOME!)
Barry Komisaruk and his team at Rutgers University, New Jersey did a brain scan on a woman stimulating herself to orgasm in an MRI machine.
Yes, an MRI machine. Dang sexy if you ask me. Remember this one? https://quantumcogitation.com/2010/12/15/medical-play-an-mri-really/
This is an animation based on the brain scans. Check it out.
http://www.newscientist.com/blogs/nstv/2011/11/female-orgasm-movie-shows-how-the-brain-fires-up.html
I LOVE SCIENCE!
03 Nov 2011
by Mystertim
in chemicals, cosmetics, Doc Johnson, Fashion, Humanity, Psychology
Tags: chemicals, cosmetics, emotion, Psychology
You never think it could happen to you…
If I had known what was going to happen, I never would have gone. But I did.
Yes, I went to the Biannual Society of Cosmetic Chemists Suppliers’ Day event at the Long Beach Convention Center.These were my peeps, my buddies, my pals. We have stood side by side with beakers in our hands making a more beautiful tomorrow. We had been to more disreputable clubs together and seen things that would turn a weaker man into jelly. Yes we were held by bond stronger than most, its name is Bond, Ionic Bond. (Chemistry joke.)
We had each other’s backs through acquisitions, lay-offs, marriages, divorces. You never expect those folks to turn on you.
At the show I couldn’t go three feet without having someone yell, “Hey Dr Tim, over here!” or “Wait Dr Tim, I need to talk with you!” even “Dr Tim, I need your advice.”
Three hundred booths, seven hundred conversations. It’s a good life. If you are strong enough.
Then it happened. One of my old buddies brought a baby chemist over to see me. (A baby chemist is anyone with less than 25 years in the business.) My friend said to me, “Tell this kid that the Noodle Incident* really happened.”
*Some incident names have been changed to protect the innocent.
“Of course it happened. You were there.”
And then…
“Wow Dr Tim, Sir. You are a Legend! I can’t wait to tell everyone that I met you.”
WHAT????
When did that happen? But it gets worse. Not two rows later I get called an Icon of the Industry. By an international group of chemists. Apparently I am known from California to Japan. The long way. And the question that pesters me is “Why?”
What did I do that was so special? Nothing comes to mind. I have worked hard and long in my laboratory for almost 30 years. Lost two wives and families because of my work. Did I have a major breakthrough that helps humanity? Doubtful. Did I make a lot of people wealthy with my work? Certainly.
(And speaking of my work, go buy some Official Doc Johnson toys and lubes! The Sasha Grey Love Spit will blow your mind. Or if the jacuzzi is your thing, try our new and improved iLube. A cushiony silicone ride through the night.)
Did I touch people? Probably. I was a pizza guy once myself you know. More people seem to remember me than I remember them. Half of me calls BS, the other half loves the attention.
Apparently I live my life loud and proud with my freak flag unfurled, surviving and thriving in the corporate world. I guess everyone does love the bad boy.
Am I bragging or complaining? Not too sure yet. Definitely a little of both.
Oh, on the lighter side, a female chemist caught me using a Star Trek reference. She is the first one to spot it ever! Major props.

I'm feeling it!
Dr Tim – the Man, the Icon, the Legend. Let me help you get your freak on! No muff too tough! No trick too sick!
14 Oct 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Safe Sex, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Transexual, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, boobs, clit, clitoris, cock, Couples sex talk, Cunnilingus, dick, dildo, emotion, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, gay, Lesbian, Male Sexuality, men, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, pussy, Science, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, Transexual, vibrator, women
“Sweetie, what are you thinking about right now?”
“Well Darling, there isn’t a game on so I am thinking about boobs.’ (Famous Last Words)
And I am, unless I am thinking about pussy or ass. Maybe about how good a blowjob would feel right now.
You are correct, Dear Readers, these are not appropriate answers when you get hit by “The Question” by your Significant Other.
In fact, this question is almost worse than the “We Need to Talk” statement. Not quite, but almost.
Now I know that all of you have well-rounded lives with great jobs, community work, charity work and being a pillar of your House of Worship whichever that may be. But guess what? We all think about boobs. Even women think about boobs! I am very pro-boob and I am not afraid to say it.
So where am I going with all of this? Everyone thinks about sex. It is in just about everyone’s top five list of obsessions. Or in my case the top two, I do love cheeseburgers.
Consider this, we all think about sex. A lot really. And that leads to uncomfortable situations. Who hasn’t been caught checking someone out? Male, female, straight, gay, lesbian, bi, trans, everyone has been busted. It could be boobs, a bulging package or the way that ass moves under that sheer sun dress. It could be a piece of jewelry or a particular shade of lipstick. Even a fragrance can take you there.
https://quantumcogitation.com/2009/12/11/always-sniffing-around-or-smell-my-fetish/
And it could take your thoughts to uninhibited states of fantasy activities. Strap-ons, anal sex, oral sex, threesome, moresome, orgies or your handy Official Doc Johnson devices and lubes. Oh, do buy lots of Official Doc Johnson toys and lubes. If it is better than Cock, it came from the Doc!
The brain is an amazing organ where your mind constructs new realities and worlds where the impossible can happen. I have this little dream where Eva Mendez comes over to bake chocolate chip cookies with me and…
That is when you get busted. Men are caught with a small smile and a growing chubby. Women stand up and everyone looks for the velcro they just heard. (Are you sitting in a puddle or are you just happy to see me?)
And most of the time, it is a fair cop. Now I just happen to have a great job where I not only to have to think about sex constantly, but I have to think about making it better or longer-lasting, or tastier. Yep. To use business-speak, I need to maximize your sensory experience during erotic interludes. In other words, Me make bouncy-bouncy more bouncy!
So yes, I think about sex a lot. Almost as much as a teenager with the exception that I know what I am doing. I hope. https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/10/15/the-amazing-clitoris/
Other times it is an unfortunate frustration. I was caught checking out a young college lady and was scolded for being a dirty old pervert. One, I am not dirty. I shower every day. Two, I am not that old. If it were true, I would have smiled and been about my business. When I am busted for silently perving, I admit it and ask how they busted me. Were they thinking the same things?
However that one time was different. The young lady in question was the daughter of an old girlfriend from college. She looked so much like her Mom did in college that it made me smile, remembering those happy days.
It isn’t always about sex. It just usually is…
So what’s on your naughty mind? Drop me a line and let me know! My email and twiiter are over there to the right somewhere.
16 Sep 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, chemicals, cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Fashion, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Medical, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Regulatory, Safe Sex, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Transexual, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, chemicals, clit, clitoris, Couples sex talk, dildo, emotion, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, gay, Lesbian, men, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, Science, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, sweet semen, Transexual, vibrator, women
Believe it or not, I took a vacation last week. No, really! I was not in my laboratory for nine days. Nine long, empty, meaningless days…
Actually I had a grand time. It was my first vacation in four years and my third in the last twelve years. It seems like I take a week off every four years or so.
So what did I do? Things that would make the Marquis de Sade jump up on a chair and go “Eeek!”
Well, I’m sure that someone would. I spent two days travelling. It was nice to see the green fields and blue skies of the Midwest again. You know, they have air that can be seen through almost all of the time. Then I came home to study.
Yes you read that correctly, I came home to study. I was buried in quantum theory, chemistry, mathematics and porn.
A person needs to stay sharp and up-to-date with the latest and greatest theories and inventions. Who wouldn’t want to unravel the theories of time and the universe while experiencing mind-blowing orgasms? Somehow I find that climaxing while learning brings me to an amazing brain-gasm. Nothing like a good cum to fix things in your brain. The universe seems to open itself up to me during sex. (Now you understand why I call my Lady Friends, “My World, My Universe.”)
Here you thought I ignored my studies to do a lot of screwing around! Nonsense. As serious students, we always recited our class notes during sex. In fact, that is the main reason people like the dirty talk in the bedroom. Have you ever said anything naughty that your partner forgot? Nope, they remember every last thing you said in bed and try to hold you to it. A lot of jewelry gets sold that way.
Did you know that two people can squeeze into an orgone box? They can! If you can have sex in an airplane bathroom, you can make it in an orgone box! Although that isn’t the point. One of these days I promise that I will write a blog about Wilhelm Reich. His work is fascinating.
Back to my vacation! Out of nine, I had seven days of Science, Sex and Ice Cream. Hmm, Seven of Nine does make me think about Science, Sex and Ice Cream, although not in that exact order.
However, serious study needs a serious study group. How fortunate that I know such a group who could really help me concentrate on my studies. Anything that could happen, did happen! There were tons of official Doc Johnson toys and lubes which everyone shared to their hearts’ content. There were strap-ons, oral sex, anal, sex, vaginal sex, armpit sex, straight, gay, trans, couples, singles and more! Best smorgasm-borg ever! We really got into some interesting experiments of spacial geometry and I do believe we defied the laws of physics and anatomy more than once. How many dimensions do we occupy during orgasm?
You would have to see the film to believe it! But until I star on a reality show, you will probably never have a chance to see it, unless someone posts clips on the internet. Don’t be a pirate! Buy your porn! Somehow the idea of sex tapes going viral seems wrong to me.
So what or who did you do on your summer vacation? Feel free to send me cards, letters, pictures or video! Even a postcard would be nice…
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