Tip Your Waitress Folks (or Looks Do Matter, Sometimes…)

Happy Friday Everyone!

I read an interesting paper (Gueguen, N. Jacob, C., Enhanced female attractiveness with use of cosmetics and male tipping behavior in restaurants, J. Cosmet. Sci., 62, 283-290) today that talks about how the use of makeup seems to increase the tips a waitress can collect.

Apparently they did a study that concludes that female waitresses that wear makeup vs. those that do not wear makeup tend to collect larger tips from male customers.

Can you say, “DUH!”  I knew that you could.

But let’s take a quick look at the ramifications of the study.  According to the study, this was conducted in a laboratory setting.  That will upset some people since they believe that if it isn’t happening in the “real” world, that it doesn’t count.  Well folks, guess what?  Conducting a laboratory trail is the very first step in a field of study.  Scientists that tend to rush right out into the public with an idea are usually labeled extremist or insane and often get a punch in the nose.

Next, the waitresses were instructed to act the same way whether wearing makeup or not.  Again, any study that uses real people has a wild variable in it.  Think of yourself or any woman you know.  Do they act the same with or without makeup?  Not too many that I know.  So there is going to be some give and take on this facet.

During the series of experiments, the same waitress made more money when she wore makeup as opposed to the less she made when she didn’t.  The only difference was the use of makeup.  The service, food and actions were the same.  What does that tell you?

Bottom line: Men tend to give more money to women that they find more desirable.  Or attractive.

It may be sexist or it may be in our genes to provide for the most desirable mate.  I can’t wait for further studies to be published.

And you thought we only stared at your boobs…

Dog Days of Summer (or Howl at the Moon, it’s cooler then…)

Hot enough for you?

Hey!  If you are going to throw things, either make them soft or made out of ice cream!

Back in the Midwest, when I was just a Baby Chemist, we had a saying in August.  Now keep in mind in those days Dr Tim was a young, strong, wiry lad with fire in his soul and mischief in his eyes.  I was working for the County in the Secondary Road Department.  Yes, I’m the guy that held the stick on the survey crew.  It was an afternoon when we were in the Shop to pick up some supplies when I first heard it.

“It’s too hot to fuck!”

Now that is really saying something!  “You can fry an egg on the sidewalk.”  “It’s hotter than Hell.”  “So hot my shadow was looking for shade.”  “That’ll melt your ice cream.”  Statements that we hear, but don’t make much of an impact on us.  But when a man or woman says, “It’s too hot to fuck.”  Well!  Can you seriously name anything that would prevent you from fucking if fucking was available?  Me either.

Now it is belief on mine that Humans are nocturnal by nature.  We were only forced to live in the sunlit world by the advent of the agricultural age.  People aren’t supposed to be out in the sun!  Sleep by day, hunt by night.  That’s living!  I thrive on moonlight and the sun is not my friend.  And don’t even get me started on vampires!  Cold lifeless sadness drinking blood to feel alive but for a night?  Awful!  Now werewolves, they have an abundance of life energy.  Living in the moment, intimate with nature and in bed?  WHEW!  That’s life up at the sharp end.

Back to the heat.  So if it is too hot to fuck, what are you going to do?  Perform 68 with your partner?  (68 – you blow me and I’ll owe you one.)  Watch “Scrubs” reruns and masturbate to fantasies of Dr Kelso?  Almost!  You can have a slow, easy wanking session using your Official Doc Johnson toys!  WHOO-HOO!!!  You know you love it.

But if you need to be reminded, go here: https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/05/27/airing-the-orchid-or-women-are-wankers-too/ or here: https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/05/06/national-masturbation-month-part-1-im-not-jerking-you-around-here/

Seriously, Two hot sweaty bodies really screw up the bed. Especially if there is a power outage or your air conditioning doesn’t work.  Grab the sofa, your Sasha Grey Love Spit Lube (seriously, it is awesome!) and your Doc Johnson dildos, vibrator, stroker or strap-ons.  Lay back under the fan and tease yourself slowly.  Think about something that really turns you on and let your hands wander.

Need a long, slow deep-dicking?  Lube up that dildo, fasten that strap-on to a cushion or pillow and ride or slide at your sexiest pace.  Men, do the same with your stroker.  Use lots of lube, it feels cool and wet.  Add the vibrator that will tickle your private places without doubling the sweat on the sheets.  Ever sit on an ice pack while masturbating?  Try it!  You may just love it!  You know, glass dildos can be kept in the freezer for just such an emergency as well.

Or, for my fans that are hardcore, slip a few ice cubes or a popsicle in your back door.  Not only will it intensify your orgasm, but you will have the coldest experience since that one time with the snow bunnies outside the lodge at Big Bear during January!  But careful, this technique is not for rookies.  Hardcore only please.  Beginners should work their way up to this by fucking over an open freezer or over a 50 # bag of ice wrapped in a towel.  Ever do it in a wading pool full of ice water?  It is GOOD, trust me.

So it’s August, it’s hot and your partner is a sweaty slob.  Don’t let that stop you from having the orgasms you deserve!  Use a little creativity and don’t forget to take the Doc along for the ride.  Remember: If it’s as good as Cock, it must be from the Doc!  If rubber pussy makes you want some, call on old Doc Johnson.

Didn’t quite rhyme, but you get the jism gist of it.  Besides, where are you going to get a sex toy blog that has human evolution, werewolves, vampires and ice up the ass?

From Dr Tim, that’s who!

Friday (Can’t help meself…)

Friday is my longest day,

The time drags on so long.

I just can’t wait for Friday night

And get my ice cream on!

Trade Show Fever (or, I am not an ANME-AL)

Well, maybe I am.  Seems there were a couple shows presenting “Implements/Accessories of Personal Sexual Empowerment Strategically Designed for Human (Singular or Multiple) Ascent towards La Petite Mort.”  (Sex toys to get y’all off!  On your own or with friends.)

Of course, I will be covering the ANME show.  That stands for the Adult Novelty Manufacturers Expo.  And since Doc Johnson is one of the Founding Five, we had a ginormous booth!  Yes, there are four others, but hey, this is about us.

Oh the glamour!  Oh the toys!  Oh the lubes!  And even some most excellent eye candy was on display for everyone to enjoy.  Many of my readers have not heard of this show because it is not open to the public.  It is, as they say, B2B or Business to Business.  Folks who sell to folks who sell to folks who sell to folks who use the products.  Manufacturer to Distributor to Stores to You!  Sounds complicated, but it really isn’t.  Just the American Dream in action promoting Freedom of Speech, the Right to Our Own Bodies and money.

Our theme was the “School Of Doc.”  We had a classroom where one could touch, feel and learn all about our very cool products.  We even had video in the background!

Don't Be Late For Class!

Oh Yeah!  We had candy in class.  Bet you never had that before, did you?  (Culinary and confectionary schools don’t count…)  And guess what?  We had a faculty there to show, teach and learn with you!

Nerdy but Dirty Faculty of SOD!

They may have been walking around with clipboards, but those rulers were never far away!  Looks like I am going to stay after class again today.  DANG!  (One great thing about teachers is that they make you do it over and over until you get it right.)

But it wasn’t all fun and games.  There were many serious meetings that took place.  Sharks circling each other, looking for weakness, waiting to pounce and close the deal.  It was tough, make no mistake!

Advanced Business Strategy in Process

The great part however, was renewing old friendships, remembering why you didn’t particularly like someone, seeing what was new and maybe getting a behind closed-door demo of some of the products.  Which, I must add (lawyers insist) that those games are not business related, just friendly slap and tickle between friends.  Those days of bedroom business are long gone.  Yep, everything is uber-professional now.  Business is business.  And playtime is playtime.  (They don’t call me Tim-Bone for nothing, you know.)

People just could not keep their hands off our toys.

Free-Balling!

Although that picture reminds me of my ex-wife and her female lawyer…

Needless to say, there were sights to see, things to do and people to meet.  I had a very productive day meeting with some clients discussing new opportunities so that I can get my boss that new Testarossa.  I’m selfless like that.  Ask around.

And since I’ve learned how to add pictures to my posts.  (Promise to learn how to use fewer later.)  There are some other folks that should be recognised.

More Sales People:

More of the Sales Staff!

The Director of Product Development!  (Everything is his fault…)

I'm not sleeping! Just listening!

And of course, the Big Boss!

He is The MAN!

So everyone will be seeing some really great new toys and lubes coming their way this fall.  I’d say 99% of them will be coming from us, Doc Johnson.  But then you might say I am a wee bit prejudiced.

OK, due to the news, I postponed the talk about SRS, Filet O’Penis and lubes until next week.  Guys can be such fraidy-cats about some things.  Me?  I’m going home and making lasagna!

Note to readers in Southern California.  Stock up on your Doc Johnson toys and lubes.  It is going to be a long weekend, so stay home and enjoy yourself!

3 Minute Poem (or, Why Can’t He Just Stick to Science?)

Yes, here is another 3-minute poem from Dr Tim for the holiday.

Why do I call it a 3-minute poem?  Because I refuse to take longer than three minutes to write one.  Cuz you see, man, if you take the time to re-write and edit, it’s no longer real.  It doesn’t have that organic flow and awkward meter.  Ya dig?  Crazy.  Here we go…

Happy Birthday USA! (by Dr Tim 2011)

 

Life, Liberty, Pursuit of Happiness

Is what they promised me

To live this lifetime free and bold

Was my opportunity

The world says that we’ve gone soft

And we have lost our way

I say America still shows her strength

Every Independence Day

G-d Bless America, Her hopes, Her goals

G-d Bless our Troops so true

When Evil struck, to destroy our dreams

We bled Red, White and Blue

We do not cower, we do not fear

Keeping peace is never fun

But I can guaran-damn-tee you that

Our colors will never run

Now I’m older, beaten on life’s anvil

And long for yester-year

Yet still if you insult my Land

You’ll get a boot right up your rear

Yet on cool, dark nights

Perched high in a tree

I think of things long gone

Let me tell you two or three

For baseball, I miss Willie Mays

For potato chips, please bring me Lay’s

For picnics were the greatest craze

For the holiday, let’s take off the next three days!

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!!!

So cool cats, next time we’ll talk about SRS, Dilation and why you need a good lube around the house.  Later Daddio!

Transgenderism (or Ch-ch-ch-changes!)

Warning: Know right now that we are talking about a controversial subject using frank, adult language.  If you are under 18, leave now.  Come back when you are older.  There may also be pictures…

Quick, how many different genders are there?

If you said two, you have not been keeping up with the world.  Let me take you, if I may, on a journey…

While we were all taught as youngsters that there were men and there were women the differentiation is not quite as concrete as previously thought.  Gender orientation is as fluid as sine waves.

Men on the Left, Women on the Right

On the top figure, the apex of each curve represents pure male or pure female.  As you can see, there are many different points on the scale and each one represents a different gender possibility.  In between, we have everything from A to Z.  Now it is important to differentiate between Gender Orientation and Sexual Orientation.  How you see yourself as a person is intertwined but separate from how you see your sexuality.  If it wasn’t, men would only want women and women would only want men.  But we know that is not the case.  Homosexuality and Bisexuality are well documented in humans as well as the animal kingdom.  However, humans have the ability to identify their gender.  Sometimes it is not as easy as you might guess.

Intersexed – These folks may have atypical sexual organs, creating a person who is not truly male or female.

Transgender – These folks live their lives as the opposite gender.

Transsexuals – These folks are transitioning from one gender to another.

Androgyny – These folks are gender neutral like Pat from Saturday Night Live.  (Created by Julia Sweeny)

It's Pat!

Let’s talk Tranny!  They are the mainstay of the porn industry and are a niche growing by leaps and bounds.  What makes a person transsexual?

Good question!  I have been studying some papers published in the Journal of Psychiatric Research.

“The microstructure of white matter in male to female transsexuals before cross-sex hormonal treatment. A DTI study.” (Journal of Psychiatric Research, doi:10.1016/j.jpsychires.2010.11.007)

“White matter microstructure in female to male transsexuals before cross-sex hormonal treatment.  A diffusion tensor imaging study” (Journal of Psychiatric Research, doi:10.1016/j.jpsychires.2010.05.006)

Basically, they (Antonio Guillamon’s team at the National University of Distance Education in Madrid, Spain) think they have found a way to identify transgenders before puberty with a brain scan.  In their study, about 38% of the transgenders studied knew they were different by the age of five.  This scan has shown significant differences in the white matter of the brain when comparing transgenders to non-transgenders.

The layout of the white matter development in Female to male transsexuals matches that of the male brain.  And the while the white matter development in male to female transsexuals does not exactly mirror that of the female brain, it is much more female than male.  Seems reasonable!  And that the white matter in your brain may not mature for 20-30 years, so a late-blooming transsexual is not surprising.

And I have this fascinating document (Progress in Brain Research, Vol. 186, doi: 10.1016/B978-0-444-53630-3.00004-X) called “Sexual differentiation of the human brain in relation to gender identity and sexual orientation.  It claims that sexual identity and gender identity are set in our brains before birth.  The sexual differentiation of the genitals takes place in the first two months of pregnancy but the sexual differentiation of the brain takes place in the latter half of the pregnancy.  Therefore the genitals and brain do not always match.  It goes on to note that social environment after birth has any effect on gender or sexual orientation.

Reread this entry: https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/04/08/sexual-orientation-part-i/

Now to fun stuff!  As you know, Wendy Williams is one of our favorite trannys at Doc Johnson.  We are releasing toys and sprays just for her.  She has graciously allowed me to use the photos she took.

Wendy Williams Salad Tossing Spray!

Look at her lick!  If you like salad tossing but not the all-day funk of underwear, try a few shots of Wendy’s Salad Tossing Spray!  It will give your loved one a shiny tasty ass.  Now get your tongue in there!

By the way, that ass she is licking is hers.  Yes, you too can have Wendy William’s ass in your bed every night.  Here, check out the comparison:

Sweet enough to eat!

Nice and tight!

Maybe her ass is too tight?  If you are a big guy like me, you may have to warm her up with licking and stretching.  Try out Wendy’s Anal Training Kit.

On Sale Now!

Wendy is not just a beautiful woman, she uses the products too.  Especially when she is preparing for a BIG movie.

And that's the large one too!

Doc Johnson is very sex-friendly.  We may not have sex the way you do, but we have everything you need to get it on and get it off.  Give us a try!  And as Dr Tim always say, unless he doesn’t, I don’t judge.  I just want to hold the camcorder!

Follow: Wendy Williams on Twitter – @TSWendyWilliams;  Doc Johnson – @The OriginalDoc

To Completion… (or Spitters are Quitters!)

Most of my readers out there are a wee bit younger than me.  But back in the old days before the interwebs, we had swinger magazines.  Basically people would send in ads where they advertised what they wanted sexually.  Then others would buy the magazine, read the ads, circle the ones that made them masturbate, write a reply letter, seal it in an envelope with the ad number on it, put that in another envelope addressed to the swinger magazine, mail it and wait for a reply and hopefully a nude picture.  WHEW!  It could take three to four weeks to make a hook-up.  That’s a  lot of mental foreplay right there.

But we aren’t talking about swinger magazines today.  However, there was a phrase used in many of those ads that will lead us to today’s topic.  That phrase was “French to Completion.”

“French” is what we used as a polite euphemism for oral sex.  And “To Completion” meant performing oral sex all the way to orgasm.  Not just a quick suck here or half-hearted lick there, but an honest-to-goodness, all-out, no holds barred blowjob from start to gooey finish and beyond.  Back in the 70’s, I never met a girl who didn’t swallow.  I mean, it was proper etiquette!  (Side note: As randy young adults, someone ordering french dressing for their salad would send the table into uncontrollable snorts and giggles.)

Swallow what?

You know what I am talking about here.  We are talking about semen, sperm, cum, jizz, protein shake, man chowder, baby batter, ball butter, pearl jam, nut nectar…

Today I hear the question, “Swallow, spit or dodge?”  And I believe that all cocksuckers have the right to make that choice.  After all, if someone is willing to suck your cock until you are ready to explode, well, cherish them!  Marry them if you can legally!  As a man with multiple ex-wives The Good Doctor can tell you that a lot of arguments would never happen if there was more cocksucking happening.  Free tip for my next wife: I can put up with doilies, pink bathrooms, frilly sheets, new curtains and a whole lot of crap if you are blowing me frequently.

So one might wonder why all women (or men that are so inclined) do not always swallow our load.  There are many reasons.

They don’t like the taste.  We can fix that!  There are flavored bj potions that make the cock sweeter.  We will drink pineapple juice every day, quit smoking and eat healthier if you promise to blow us.  (Cinnamon is good too!)  And please note, there are no taste buds in the back of your throat…

The texture is weird.  Have you ever eaten flan, sushi or jello in milk?  Now you are being a bit silly.

What is it anyway?  Now there is a valid question!  What is in that pearly, life-giving nectar?

I am going to keep this simple here so all you MD’s who write to me keep a lid on it.  Semen has basically two components: sperm and seminal fluid.  Each time you cum, you ejaculate 200 to 500 million sperm which only constitutes a couple percent of your load.  It is mostly seminal fluid which provides food, energy and protection for the sperm cells.  The vaginal canal is an extremely hostile environment for sperm.  So sperm needs to be protected by its super juice.  The seminal fluid has so many things in it for so many reasons that I will only hit the high points.  It has amino acids, hormones, proteins, zinc, enzymes, lipids, sugars and so much more!  And every component is important to achieve the sperm’s ultimate goal of impregnation.

Cum is fattening!  Sorry, but no it isn’t.  Now the amount of calories will depend on the man’s diet, his age, how recently he orgasmed and a few other factors.  However, a teaspoon sized serving of semen contains roughly 5-7 calories.  That’s right!  You can swallow it all day and not gain weight.  You would have to swallow over 115 teaspoons of cum to equal the calories of one Big Mac (576) or sixteen teaspoons to equal one serving of Dannon Light & Fit non-fat Blueberry yogurt (80).

Let’s pull up the psychological armchairs now.  Based on my personal experience, I would rather that my tantric engineer either swallows or dodges.  Swallowing is my preference because in my mind, I am my cum.  And swallowing it means you accept me and appreciate me.  Dodging is cool because I love to see my cum dripping from erect nipples or filling a belly button.  (But Not In My Hair!)  That also indicates acceptance.  You may not want to swallow me, but you will wear me.  That is very heart-warming.

But to spit?  That is total rejection.  It means that you only accept me grudgingly and that you do not appreciate anything that I give you.  Sounds strange, but spitting out my cum is very offensive to me.  Now if you have an allergic reaction to semen and it does exist, I would always be wearing a condom and you should have no objection to my cumming while you suck.  After all, it is safely contained.

And maybe that is the best answer for anyone in a new relationship or have a partner that just does not want to deal with our ejaculate.  Because if you are willing to fellate us early and often, we will do everything in our power to make the experience as good for you as we possibly can.  (Lick our balls too, ok?)  Because we want you to keep fellating us!  Really, we do!

After all, nothing says love more than “To Completion.”

‘Fun With Doc’ Contest (or Sadly not what I thought…)

Attention all sexually uninhibited exhibitionists!  My Amazing Employer is doing one of those Contest thingies.  Check it out!

NORTH HOLLYWOOD, Calif.—Adult novelty manufacturer Doc Johnson announces the launch of its first-ever “Fun With Doc” user-generated video submission contest designed to place creative control in the hands of the novelty giant’s legions of fans.

Hosted at FunWithDoc.com, the competition calls for loyal customers, curious consumers or anyone with a camera to submit a video showcasing their Doc Johnson toys being used in a unique, fun, inventive, and YouTube-friendly way. One lucky Grand Prize winner will receive a brand new Apple iPad2 and two runner-ups will receive a Doc Johnson gift bag tailored to their male, female or couples-friendly preferences.

All that is needed to enter is a camera, a YouTube and Twitter account, and a favorite Doc Johnson toy. Entrants will need to shoot their video and upload it to YouTube, follow Doc Johnson (@TheOriginalDoc) on Twitter, and send a tweet that mentions @TheOriginalDoc, which includes their YouTube video link. All submitted videos that follow these guidelines will be available to view and at www.funwithdoc.com.

“Just as we do with our products, we consistently look to innovate in terms of engaging our fan base,” said Chad Braverman, Doc Johnson’s director of product development and licensing. “Our goal with this contest is to provide consumers a platform to display their creativity, showcase the personality of Doc Johnson as playful and inventive, and promote the brand in an entirely original way. Through the tremendous success of our YouTube channel and other prior social media campaigns, we’ve seen firsthand that there’s a real benefit for companies to interact with the consumer through the development of organic, user-generated content. We can’t wait to see what pops up during this contest.”

The winners will be chosen based upon the number of YouTube views they receive. After the allotted time, the Top 10 videos with the most YouTube views will be selected as the Finalists. A panel of judges made up of Doc Johnson representatives will judge the entries in categories including: originality, creativity, humor and effective representation of the Doc Johnson brand. For a list of official rules and regulations, visit FunWithDoc.com.

Me again: Remember, YouTube friendly.  But if you have to shoot porn, please send it to: DrTim@quantumcogitation.com

Airing the Orchid (or Women are Wankers Too!)

Where does the time go?  It seems like I just started celebrating National Masturbation Month and time evaporated.  But no matter how much I whip the weasel, I always return.  Lucky for you the store ran out of oysters!

So let’s talk about the Ladies.  Wait a minute!  Women don’t masturbate.  They never audition the finger puppets, bruise the peach, check for squirrels, diddle the skittle, flick the bean, jill-off, tease the kitten and never engage in genital stimulation via phalangetic motions.   Bullspit!  Ladies have been checking the chowder since they were young.  Oh sure, she may have had a pillow named Lief or a blanket named Shaun, but she was always thinking of you.  Really!  Would a Woman lie?

So how do women masturbate?  There doesn’t seem to be anything that she could really grab and play with effectively.  After all didn’t Rodney Dangerfield say, “As a kid we were so poor that if I hadn’t been born a boy I wouldn’t have had anything to play with!”  Leads one to believe that if he did get a lot of pussy, he had no idea how to treat it.

Let’s see a show of hands now.  How many of you love laundry day for the spin cycle, getting really close to the vacuum handle and why do cell phones have such a strong “vibrate” setting?

Everything is designed to help Momma relieve the tension so she doesn’t kill the kids and bury them under the shed.  Years ago, “hysterical” women received their vibrators via prescription from the doctor.  Please refer to this post: https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/10/15/the-amazing-clitoris/ to learn about how little medical science paid attention to women and their anatomy.  Shameful.  That is just one of the many reasons that Dr Tim inspects as much female anatomy as possible!  (Which reminds me, I really should call Debi Diamond.  Miss you!)

So what can Doc Johnson do for you?

Glad you asked.  You may have heard of Dr Susan Block.  She is a brilliant woman who loves sex, masturbation and the bonobos.  You can find a link to her blog here: http://bloggamy.com/  Do check out her websites and her live shows.  She is adorable!  I love this woman and have been a fan of hers for a long time.  Maybe someday we can share a chocolate chip cookie.

She is a good friend of Doc Johnson and loves the Original Pocket Rocket.

One of Dr Suzy's Favorites!

This little baby gives an amazing buzz to wherever you care to place it!  Buzz the labia, park it next to the anus and when you place it on your clit, WHOO-HOO!  These are so good, that both of my ex-wives loved this particular piece of electronic wizardry.  In fact, one of them would melt one down every six months or so.  Should’ve invested in batteries instead of Edsels.  Too soon old, too late smart.  (Oh, just in case you were worried about vibrator addiction: https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/03/25/vibrator-addiction-r-r-r-r-r-really/

But that’s not all!  For a strong, deep throbbing pulse, check out this one:

Intense!

Now this gives you a deep throbbing action that will amaze, astound, and make you squeal.  Recommended by our own sales team here at DJ.  And since they are around toys all day, the fact that they specifically asked me to include this one should catch your attention.  I took one home and if you want it, you will have to pry it from my cold, dead hands.  Works wonders on my, um shoulders!  Yeah on my shoulders.  (Actually, it feels great on my lower back too.  Not that low!  Well, maybe, hold me afterwards?)

Am I moving too fast for you?  Let’s slow things down a bit.  How about we get in the mood?  Let’s lower the lights, play some slow, hip-swaying music, maybe pour a glass of our favorite adult beverage.  Feel the light breeze from the ceiling fan?  Relax.  Let your hand drift slowly over your clothed body.  Lose a layer of clothes.  All you have on is your lingerie.  Feels nice.  Oh, you are wearing your Good lingerie too.  Beautiful.  Lets open some body butter and slowly apply it to the top of your breasts.  So smooth and sensual.  Move to your tummy.  You are in great shape.  You must drive the men crazy all day.  If only they could see you now.  So smooth on the legs.  Long slow strokes as the body butter melts into your skin.  Oh yeah, your eyes are half closed and a sly smile spreads across your lips.  You know what’s coming…

Spread it on and feel the bliss.

Now perhaps you would like to reach for that vibrator, dildo or strap-on.  (Remember: If it’s from the Doc, it’s as good as cock! TM)  Feel the buzz, things are getting hotter and wetter.  The dildo slides in so smoothly and fills you up.  How about a dab of lube or a clitoral stimulator?  (Look for Spot-On, coming in July!) Or maybe you are feeling especially naughty…

Now you can do Cowgirl all by yourself.

Or just maybe, well he has been hinting.  Is it time to explore?  Oh yes!

Summer Loving is Backdoor Loving.

Just tease yourself.  You can wait all day, bring yourself up and down.  So close, but wait, catch your breath.  You know the longer it takes, the better it will feel.  Mount that dildo.  Ride it just the way you like it.  lightly touch your nipples, your breasts, that beautiful round butt.  Maybe a pinch or a slap.  Breathe deeply.  gain momentum, your eyes close tightly and then open wide.  Your orgasm crescendos reaching a climax that shatters your mind.  Your nipples are hard, you are soaking wet and slack-jawed you stare at the ceiling.  That smile returns as your eyes close and you drift off to sleep.  To sleep, perchance to dream.  Aye, there’s the rub!

And rub you did.  Well done!  Next time video your experience and send to Dr Tim so that he can praise you mightily and nightly.  drtim@quantumcogitation.com

So what if times are tough and you can’t afford one of Doc Johnson’s pleasure devices?  Not to worry.  You have plenty of options.  Remember the washing machine, the vacuum?  One can always place a broom or mop between the mattress and box springs for a quick ride.  (Condoms can also help prevent splinters.)  And even a door knob works well.  You do not need a toy to masturbate.  It is important to make some special time to yourself.  Orgasms release endorphins.  They help you stay clam, cool and collected out in the harsh world.  And having regular orgasms give you a sexy air that drive me (men) wild!  Cum early and often.

Of course having a good imagination with a rich fantasy life never hurts either.  I have one.  You can tell because I keep blogging as if someone actually reads it.

Well my hand cramp seems to have relaxed.  And I have four more days to “spend” in the bathroom testing new lubes.  I love my job!

Sexual Enhancements (Or Ways to Get Your Freak On!)

Hi folks!  This is a recently published article I wrote for Doc Johnson.  Below is the unedited version.

Do not worry, we will continue with Female Masturbation on Friday!

When we speak of sexual enhancements, many people automatically think about pills.  Indeed, popping pills seems to have become an essential part of the sexual experience.  Originally designed for men suffering from erectile dysfunction (ED), herbal substitutes have proliferated at an amazing pace.  However caution must be used before taking any of these supplements.  As many of you have seen or heard, the United States Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has been watching this category very carefully and has been analyzing samples.  Many have been found to have actual ED drugs or their analogues in them! When those drugs are found, the product must be pulled off the market immediately and as much of it recalled as possible.  This can be very dangerous to your health, so please consult your doctor if you are under medical observation or taking any other medications for your specific condition.   If you are in good health, well, enjoy, but please buy your pills from a reputable vendor.

By the way, the same goes for energy drinks and shots.  Watch that caffeine intake people.  And when you do research that special blend of herbs and spices, be sure you read credible  information.  While there are many websites out there, not all offer scientifically sound and unbiased research.  Stick with sites that end with “.edu” or use www.pubmed.org or my new  favorite http://scholar.google.com.  Yes you may have to look up a few words, but if I can do it, you can too!  Street knowledge is good, many herbalists really know their stuff, but please back it up with science.

But pills are not the only products used for the enhancement of sexual pleasure.  There are many other potions, lotions and gels which can stimulate and please.

Personal Lubricants: Personal lubricants are a great way to enhance the sexual experience.  Many people had their first experience with these at the doctor’s office.  It was thick, gooey and cold!  The field has advanced quite a bit since then.  Now there are lubes with many different consistencies, sensory actions and flavors.  There are different types of lubricants as well.

Silicone lubricants are known for their long-lasting action, even underwater.  They can be difficult to wash off, but probably won’t stain most fabrics.

Water-based lubricants can be fun.  You can get them thick, thin or anywhere in-between. They can also heat, cool or tingle!  Water-based lubricants are great for flavoring.  And while you can find lubes with exotic tastes like black currant or kiwi-goji berry, most people love strawberry and cherry the best.  There is a great variety out there with something for everyone.  Of course, the downside of water-based lubes is that they can dry out and you may need to reapply or add water to get it going again.

Oil-Based lubes or cream lubricants are still popular as well, perhaps not as popular as water-based or silicone, but are still available.  Of course the downside is that oil weakens latex, so please do not use these lubes with condoms!

There are two more classes of sexual enhancement products to discuss; Anatomy-specific and OTC drugs.

The main OTC (Over the Counter) drug is the male genital desensitizer.  The active ingredient is either Benzocaine in a cream, ointment or gel base or Lidocaine in a spray.  These are  applied to the head of the penis, desensitizing it to prevent premature ejaculation.  So by lengthening the time spent during intercourse, the greater the enhancement of pleasure.  In case you wondering how short is too short, the answer is that if bothers you or your partner, then you should give them a try.

Anatomy specific products are just that, designed for a specific part of the body.  These include clitoral stimulation products, nipple products, vaginal tighteners, even deodorants.  Their purpose is to make you more excitable and ready to play.  In fact, that is the goal of all sexual enhancement products, to help you and your partner enjoy sexual encounters even more.

While we would be happy to sell you all of the products listed above and more, the best sexual enhancement we have found is an attentive giving partner who values your pleasure as much as theirs.  And that is priceless.

Previous Older Entries Next Newer Entries