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Hi Everybody! (Hi Dr Tim!)

OK, so I am a bit late.  Spent way too much time and money at the Annual Newberry Library Book Fair.  (http://www.newberry.org/book-fair-blog)

So let’s catch up.  Dr Tim is now a free agent in the Sex Toy and Adult Entertainment world.  That means you will see things from many different companies featured on my blog.  (For transparency sake, no one is paying me or gifting me with anything yet to do my blog.  It is a labor of love…)

So, ANME Summer 2016.  I was able to attend the Adult Novelty Manufacturers’ Expo (http://www.anmefounders.com/) and had a wonderful time.  I saw lots of new toys, saw old friends and made some new ones as well.  Top that off with a free lunch and the show was nothing short of miraculous!

Here are some photo highlights:

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You  may recognize some of the people, but we have Gianna Michaels, Siouxsie Q, Marcelo, a wonderful lady, BUCK ANGEL(!), a picture of Kendra Lust and my dear friend Sunny!  Sorry, no pictures of GameLink’s Jeff Dillionaire and other notables.  It was quite the party.  Here are a few of the cool toys and stuff:

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WOW!  Doc Johnson and Kink went in together to do some very cool stuff.  You will see some of Dr Tim’s products (the Erase Spray will remove magic marker body writing quite easily), a model that shows the optimum areas for butt-paddling so as not to cause serious injury, massage candles, Motorhead and Motley crew vibrators in case you want to bang more than your heads, and app controlled sex toys that also play tunes and have unlock-able achievement levels.

So all in all, a rousing show.  Hopefully I will get a Kink fucking machine to test…

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Sexting (or, check your phone!)

Sexting is awesome!  Fun, titillating and gives me a reason to not hate having a smartphone.

However, it is also fraught with danger, especially for children.  But for adults, a recent study shows so much benefit from nasty texts.

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/news/fullstory_154019.html

88% of the folks in the survey admitted to texting.  Almost nine out of ten.  That is a whole lot of data usage.  And it turns out that women tend to send sexts instead of receiving them.  Food for thought?  And that almost 75% of the respondents exchanged sexts with a committed partner.  Warms the heart.  As mentioned in the article, perhaps that is one way couples can talk about sex if a face-to-face discussion would be too intense for them.  I am certainly in favor for anything that improves communication between partners.  With luck, sexting fantasies can make their way into the bedroom, boardroom or even the garage!

As stated in the article, “But greater sexting frequency was linked to greater sexual satisfaction among both men and women, particularly when sexters were in a relationship, the survey found. In fact, with the exception of those who said they were in a “very committed” relationship, couples who sexted more often were more likely to say they were satisfied with their relationship. For those in very committed relationships, sexting made no difference in sexual satisfaction, the study found.

By contrast, sexting had little effect on sexual satisfaction for people who weren’t in relationships. Twenty-six percent of the group described themselves as single, the survey found.”

So for better or for worse, sexting is here to stay.

So how do you feel about sexting?  Dr Tim certainly enjoys it.  And knowing that those sexts are out there in the cyber universe doesn’t bother me in the least.  Oh my goodness, the government might discover that I enjoy sex!  Heavens, I feel that I may swoon.  And for those of us that work too much and play too little, it seems as that is as close to “afternoon delight” as most of us get these days.  In fact, perhaps the mighty Doc Johnson could help make your sexts a little sweeter to your sweetie.

Imagine sending a little something using some of these items:

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That will light up their eyes and fire that devious imagination.  But then that is probably why you sent them a sext in the first place!  Have fun, win awards and as always, keep sending in those naughty sexts and videos.  Dr Tim loves each and every one of you!

 

Ask the Doc (or, Shameless Plug!)

Greetings oh mighty tantric warriors!

Today I want to clue you in on a little secret.  Doc Johnson has a radio show!

Sadly it does not star yours truly, but is instead helmed by Chad and Sunny.

You never know what will happen!

You never know what will happen!

These two fun folks are the Creative Director and Head of Marketing, respectively.  And they are a blast.  Sweet, sexy, nasty and knowledgable.  (You decide whom is which.) They talk about sex stuff, interview experts, adult stars and make some cute videos.  Oh, they also take phone comments.  (You can hear Dr Tim on at least one show.  Hint: pubic hair…)

So, let the links begin:

http://playboyradio.com/shows/ask-the-doc/

http://www.docjohnson.com/askthedocshow

https://www.facebook.com/askthedocshow/app_190322544333196

https://soundcloud.com/ask-the-doc

http://www.podcastchart.com/podcasts/ask-the-doc

https://www.youtube.com/user/DOCJOHNSON1976/featured

https://twitter.com/askthedocshow

 

Check them out.  They are hotter than a ten-dollar laser.

 

 

 

Summer Sex (or, Pass the BBQ Sauce!)

Summertime and the living is easy!

Oh the sights, sounds and smells of summer.  Scantily clothed people, moans through the screens and the sweet smell of BBQ wafting through the air.  Now I know that there is a big divide between charcoal and propane users, however that is not our focus today.

We’re talking BBQ Sex!  If you think about it, BBQ is quite a bit like sexual smorgasbord.  It has everything for oral, anal and kink.  A little back story: While working at my desk this morning my gaze wandered over to my box of Altoids.  Many of you are familiar with those “curiously strong mints” and their many uses in sexual matters.  Well, thinking how nice they are after having a potent lunch, I thought about BBQ.  And if this has never happened to you, sorry but many has been the time when my partner and I have been enjoying grilled ribs with corn on the cob that bones have been thrown to the side, mouths rush together with searching tongues and all fun breaks loose!  Nobody worries about garlic breath then, do they?

Marinades are like mental foreplay.  They start by soaking things with spices and herbs in preparation of sizzling action.  Mental foreplay is usually best when like marinading, it takes place overnight.  That gives everyone/thing time to prepare and the hunger grows.  Antici………..

Pation.

Physical foreplay is next.  Start heating up your grill.  So sweet when your meat slides into something firecracker hot.  Remind me to send a card to my first wife, she had the hottest I ever experienced.  Listen to that meat sizzle.  Smells so good.  Sounds so good.  Can’t wait to put it in your mouth.  So let’s do side dishes.

OK, this may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I knew a fine lady who could butter the corn with her tongue.  Yes, instead of a knife she used her tongue covered in butter.  Sometimes she would use her lips to make sure the butter was spread evenly.  😉  This works equally on all veggies.  Asparagus and oh what she could do with roasted potatoes.  By this time your BBQ sauce is getting hot and the meat is ready to be turned.  I know you want to flip it as many times as possible, but patience grasshopper.  Good BBQ takes time, go low and slow.

Time to eat!  Maybe you started by tossing some salad.  Love tossing salad!  Even with dressing already on it.  Dig in!  Enjoy those grilled potatoes and corn.  The ribs are so good that the meat just falls into your mouth and that sauce is bone-sucking good.  Always swallow the sauce.

Feel that warmth in your belly?  It’s getting good now.  Maybe some fresh strawberries (Oxnard strawberries are the best!) and fresh whipped cream.  Lick the cream and enjoy that firm, red berry.

Screw it!  Toss the food and grab your partner!  Make creative use of the BBQ tools.  That spatula is great for spanking.  Drive that summer experience home and head for the pool!

Amazing what happens in that pool.  Right Elaine?  Enjoy your summer, enjoy the outdoors and take your fine Doc Johnson sex toys and lubes with you!  Oh, we don’t sell Altoids, but try these fine mints which are available at your favorite store.

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Entering the Home Stretch (or, Dream BIG!)

What a big asshole!

With whom am I angry?  No one.  No one at all.  Today we talk about stretching.  Not stretch marks, not playing 21 when you are 70.  Orifice stretching.

Over 11 inches around!

Over 11 inches around!

That’s right folks, we are stretching open your asshole!  Some people develop a real fetish about how far they can enlarge their anal opening.  Why?  Who knows?  One suggestion is that taking something bigger each time is like losing your virginity all over again.  Start small, and sooner or later, we have a new car port.

So how to start?  Well, remember that time your finger broke through the toilet paper and your eyes flew open when you sank in knuckle-deep?  That’s one way.  Or you could start with a small dildo.  Or…

Work it up or work your way down!

Work it up or work your way down!

Doc Johnson has all types of toys and devices to satisfy all of your anal needs.  Now you may be saying, “Dr Tim, those look so cold and impersonal.  How can I get a human touch without actually involving another human?”  We can help.

Feels so good!

Feels so good!

See?  We are here to help you open up and let the sun shine in!  Even if it is the place “where the sun doesn’t shine,” usually.

That doesn’t actually address why people stuff such large toys into their openings.  Some like the feeling of fullness, being airtight.  Others take the humiliation route (keep it consensual!) and like to be “forced” into surrendering themselves to massive insertions.  I know a couple of people who just like the challenge and want to be known as the one who sat on a Honda and it disappeared!

Now Dr Tim loves a nice, easy access orifice, but I would like to them to be able to feel me as well.  So let’s take just a moment or two and talk about taking care of your ass.

Actually, let me refer you to a very wise and learned blog post: https://quantumcogitation.com/2010/04/30/interesting-question-caution-naughtiness-ahead/

There I cover the anatomy of the anus, different scenarios and good things about butt-fucking.  Just remember a few things: Keep your ass clean, do your kegels and use lots and lots of lube!  (Did I mention that Doc Johnson sells lubricants?  Thought so.  Daddy needs to get paid!)

Water-based but feels like silicone!

Water-based but feels like silicone!

So spank it, lick it, fuck it, kiss it, spread it and take pictures!  Just remember to love your asshole and use genuine Doc Johnson lubes and toys.  (And be on the look out for our Oralove flushable feminine hygiene wipes!)

Black Roses (or, We Haz Them)

How was your Valentines Day?  Did you get any?

C’mon, even married people get laid on Valentines Day.  It is practically the law.  (Federal law, it is much more than a state thing.)

You didn’t? well, even women get blue balls…

Blue Balls.  We Has ‘Em.  However, they are the amazing Blooming Ben Wa Balls in the brilliant Black Rose line by Doc Johnson!

If they turn this color, OUCH!

If they turn this color, OUCH!

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Now that sounds like much more fun, doesn’t it?

Yes, Valentines Day is much like Bondage & Discipline.  You always hurt the one you love.  And boy, at Doc Johnson do we have some classy ways to do it too.  We’ve got everything!  Harnesses, cuffs, strap-ons, paddles, whips and other weapons of ass destruction.  Spice up your love life.  These can be used in any room of the house.  This is a very nice selection of products.  Wanna see some more pictures?  Me too!

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So you are probably thinking, “Strap-ons are über-cool!  But is that the only thrill available for anal pleasure?”

Fear not my bung-loving lovers.  We have some amazing purple butt plugs for you in the very same Black Rose line.  (Yes, purple product in Black Rose.  Bruises often turn purple before they go black.  Won’t tell you exactly how I know, but I’m sure you can find the videos on-line.  Can’t you, you little web-monkeys?)

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And what’s that?  An AMAZING lubricant from Good Old Dr Tim’s research lab!  What a wonderful world!  Remember:  Doc Johnson lubes help you get in and get back out easily, smoothly and with oh so much pleasure!

It is not too late!  Since here and now we are alive, go get some of those great Doc Johnson toys and lubes!  Show yourself or your significant other(s) how much you care.  Tie them up or let yourself be tied up to let your imagination soar.  Imagine how you will please your bound beauty.  Or how they will please you.  Life is good.  Seize the Day!

As for Dr Tim?  Just keep those cards, letters, pictures and videos coming in!  You inspire me.  Yes you do.  After all, how do you think I test all these lubes and potions?  My only thoughts are about you.

And while I am not sure this is what Linda Ronstadt was thinking about when she recorded her album Living in the USA back in 1978, just send me Black Roses…

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Advanced Research! (or, Come and knock on our door…)

Greetings Earthlings!  (And a cheerful “Howdy” to all of my off-world fans!)

As you know, Dr Tim takes his job very seriously.

Today as I was studying a trade journal, I ran across an interesting article with a very interesting concept.  It seems that a major brand of chips was going to launch some new packaging and they wanted a specific feel to go with it.  Here is a short blurb about their strategy:

“…As part of the research process, the corporate team actually partied with consumers in their own homes, versus focus group testing, to immerse themselves in what defines a party. Part of this included observing what resonates with consumers based on the visual influencers in their environment, in addition to what they served, what other brands they identified with, and how they entertained…”

WOW!

Can you see where I am going with this?

In order to help me help you, I am willing to get down with you in your own home, to discover what defines “sex” to you.  I will observe what influences your bedroom behaviour, what you use and what items you identify with during sex.

That’s right!  You too can have Dr Tim join you in your bedroom in the interest of science!  I will lend a hand, steady the ladder and make notes about your preferred lube for butt-fucking, which dildo you like or do you want a strap-on?  Do you use any flavoring enhancers during blow jobs or kitty licking?  What about rimming?  Don’t forget about the rimming!

And there is always Fifty Shades of WHOO-HOO!!!  Whip me, beat me, feel me, fuck me, bite me, burn me, cum on my tits and get on with your life!

I will be there for you so that the Mighty Doc Johnson can address your needs even more directly than before…

You will think we designed these toys just for you and you know what?  You will be one hundred percent correct.

So let me know if you are ready to enter the world of scientific research.  We’ll meet in your bedroom, backroom, garage, alley, dungeon or wherever.  I’ll be the one with the lab coat, camcorder and big smile.

It’s on Baby.  It’s on!

(Mothers of five-year olds must secure a sitter before actual action ensues…)

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