05 Aug 2016
by Mystertim
in Adult Performers, Anal Sex, ANME, Butt Sex, cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Men, Oral Sex, Orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Safe Sex, sex toys, sexuality, Vibrators
Tags: dildo, Female Sexuality, fetish, GameLink, gay, Male Sexuality, Motley Crew, Motorhead, Personal Lubricants, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, vibrator
OK, so I am a bit late. Spent way too much time and money at the Annual Newberry Library Book Fair. (http://www.newberry.org/book-fair-blog)
So let’s catch up. Dr Tim is now a free agent in the Sex Toy and Adult Entertainment world. That means you will see things from many different companies featured on my blog. (For transparency sake, no one is paying me or gifting me with anything yet to do my blog. It is a labor of love…)
So, ANME Summer 2016. I was able to attend the Adult Novelty Manufacturers’ Expo (http://www.anmefounders.com/) and had a wonderful time. I saw lots of new toys, saw old friends and made some new ones as well. Top that off with a free lunch and the show was nothing short of miraculous!
Here are some photo highlights:
You may recognize some of the people, but we have Gianna Michaels, Siouxsie Q, Marcelo, a wonderful lady, BUCK ANGEL(!), a picture of Kendra Lust and my dear friend Sunny! Sorry, no pictures of GameLink’s Jeff Dillionaire and other notables. It was quite the party. Here are a few of the cool toys and stuff:
WOW! Doc Johnson and Kink went in together to do some very cool stuff. You will see some of Dr Tim’s products (the Erase Spray will remove magic marker body writing quite easily), a model that shows the optimum areas for butt-paddling so as not to cause serious injury, massage candles, Motorhead and Motley crew vibrators in case you want to bang more than your heads, and app controlled sex toys that also play tunes and have unlock-able achievement levels.
So all in all, a rousing show. Hopefully I will get a Kink fucking machine to test…
01 May 2015
by Mystertim
in Adult Performers, Anal Sex, Butt Sex, Couples Sexuality, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Orgasm, Personal Lubricants, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, Couples sex talk, dildo, fellatio, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, gay, Lesbian, Male Sexuality, masturbation, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, vibrator
Greetings oh mighty tantric warriors!
Today I want to clue you in on a little secret. Doc Johnson has a radio show!
Sadly it does not star yours truly, but is instead helmed by Chad and Sunny.
You never know what will happen!
These two fun folks are the Creative Director and Head of Marketing, respectively. And they are a blast. Sweet, sexy, nasty and knowledgable. (You decide whom is which.) They talk about sex stuff, interview experts, adult stars and make some cute videos. Oh, they also take phone comments. (You can hear Dr Tim on at least one show. Hint: pubic hair…)
So, let the links begin:
http://playboyradio.com/shows/ask-the-doc/
http://www.docjohnson.com/askthedocshow
https://www.facebook.com/askthedocshow/app_190322544333196
https://soundcloud.com/ask-the-doc
http://www.podcastchart.com/podcasts/ask-the-doc
https://www.youtube.com/user/DOCJOHNSON1976/featured
https://twitter.com/askthedocshow
Check them out. They are hotter than a ten-dollar laser.
22 Mar 2013
by Mystertim
in Dildos, Doc Johnson, Masturbation, Personal Lubricants, sex toys, Strap-ons, Vibrators
Tags: dildo, Personal Lubricants, sex toys, strap-on, vibrator
Dildos. Vibrators. Soybeans. Tofu. (Well, they are meat substitutes…)
I am talking about the care and maintenance of your Mom’s Best Friend.
We get many questions about what lubricants to use with which toys, so I thought I would run down the list.
UR3:
Lifelike material – Phthalate Free: Use water-based lube. Sure, you could use silicone lube, but be sure to wash that bad boy off right away!
PVC Soft
Bendable – Phthalate Free: Use water-based lube. Yes, you can use silicone too or even Crisco, but wash it up when you finish!
PVC Hard
Non-flexible – Phthalate Free: Any old lube you want to use! Wash afterwards. (Hey! Did you see this one on House of Lies? You HAVE to get Showtime!)
Jelly
Soft – Bendable – Phthalate Free: Use water-based lube!
Silicone:
100% Platinum Cured Silicone: Use water-based lube! Some silicone toys are incompatible with some silicone lubes. Makes them melt. Tread carefully and if you insist on using a silicone based lube, wash, wash, wash right away after use.
Now I didn’t want you guys to feel left out although I know quite a few of you use vibrators and dildos too. So:
Please her, tease her, love her and use her. But you must wash her too! Preferably before you fall asleep…
21 Dec 2012
by Mystertim
in Anal Sex, ANME, Christmas, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Fetish, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, sex toys, Strap-ons, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, clit, clitoris, dildo, fellatio, fetish, Personal Lubricants, sex toys, strap-on, vibrator
Ah, the holidays!
What a wonderful time to look back, review your year and make the appropriate adjustments so that the coming year is even better. You become a better person, the type of person you had always hoped that you would be when you grew up. Kind, generous, respected and well-loved.
Time to get nostalgic about family, friends, lost or found loves. Tradition.
Speaking of tradition, WHAT DID YOU GET ME?????
Most of you were nice. Some of you were very naughty. And a few of you were nicely naughty and sent Dr Tim pictures and videos of yourselves using your fine Doc Johnson toys and lubricants! Warms my heart. Truly! No cash, but a warm fuzzy feeling like when she hasn’t shaved for a week or so.
So how was your year? Did you finally find a woman who was “all-access?” Did you find a man who wasn’t threatened by your toys or that strap-on dildo you bought?
My year was great. Here at Doc Johnson we had some very successful shows including a spectacular one at Hustler Hollywood! It was all about the Wonderland.
It was AMAZING!
Other awesome stuff happened too. Great folks getting their body parts molded, like James Deen and Vicky Vette. It was an incredibly exciting year!
And wait until you see 2013! We have new toys and new lubricants coming out that will blow your mind. And help you get blown as well.
I mean, after all, what are the holidays without a heaping dose of holiday sex?
Someone asked the other day if I had a favorite sex toy. Of course I do! It’s Debi Diamond! (A kind gentle soul who is sexy and kinky to the core. Now if I could get her and Christy Canyon at the same time…)
What better gift to give a loved one, or stranger, than a long slow blowjob or maybe some anal sex? Men and women around the globe would love to receive those presents. Many at the same time. Ever been to an out-of-control office party? Like that only everyone keeps their jobs.
And Doc Johnson is there to supply all of your sexual accessories. Your orientation doesn’t matter, we have what you need. All types of dildos, vibrators, masturbators, lubes and lotions. We help make the season bright. Or turn off the lights, we are just happy to be there with you.
So don’t be selfish this season. Give orgasms to everyone you meet. And maybe you will receive a few of your own. No matter the fetish or form, we are here for you.
And like Dr Tim always says, unless he doesn’t, “I don’t judge. I just want to hold the camcorder.”
Merry Christmas everyone! And until next year, enjoy your ho, ho, hos!
18 May 2012
by Mystertim
in Anal Sex, Couples Sexuality, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Male, Male Sexuality, Men, Oral Sex, Psychology, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Vibrators, Women
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, Couples sex talk, dildo, emotion, fellatio, Female Sexuality, gay, Lesbian, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, vibrator, women
Do you know the difference between a Slut and a Bitch?
A Slut will sleep with anyone A Bitch will sleep with anyone but me!
Let’s talk about Sluts. I love them. Seems like these days, people are into slut shaming. You know the drill, someone is doing the Walk of Shame so you start whispering behind their back, making snarky comments on social networks, checking out their naughty blogs and then sneaking off to rub one out. (Go ahead! It is still National Masturbation Month!)
Jealous much?
Sluts are very special people and need to be treated with understanding and tender loving care. They cannot help themselves, they must share their joy with everyone who has need. Sex is joy And engaging in sex completes the circuit which brings the spirit if ever so briefly as close to Heaven/Nirvana/Valhalla/Fill in the Blank as one can be while still living.
They see sex differently than most. To a Slut, sex is an open expression of love. It is fun. It is something to be shared. And they share it with just about anyone who requests it properly. Depending on the circumstances, properly may be anything from “Stroll with me beneath the moonlight and mayhap we will make a communal offering to the Great Spirit.” to “Meet me behind the dumpster!”
There was a story of a young Dali lama who was asked to cast a woman out for being a slut. She was accused of seducing men, women and all living things. When the Dali lama arrived, he found everyone waiting in line. There was no fighting, pushing or trash talk. And when he walked up to the young lady he could see that her beauty and love outshone the sun. How could he cast out someone whose only crime was that she had been created with such beauty and generosity?
Something to think about people. Much of the evil in this world would not happen if everyone was getting laid. Sluts are the great equalizer. If everyone could be open and honest about their sexual feelings. They could be acted upon and a lot of tension would disappear. Anyone could be a slut, you could be male, female, trans, whatever. There is a Slut for everyone out there.
Oral sex sluts, anal sex sluts, gay sluts, lesbian sluts, sex toy sluts, why there is a whole world of sluttery (or should I say, sluttiosity) out there for you. By the way, don’t forget to pick up your Official Doc Johnson Lubes, Toys and Stuff. Even Sluts need a break now and then.
So what about Whores?
I love them too. Everyone needs to get paid. However, there is a good chance that a Whore has lost their way in drugs, or is being forced into prostitution or is so burned out that they no longer feel the joy. This is a tough old world. However, if more Sluts came out of their closet, fewer Whores would be necessary. In fact, Sluts can put Whores out of business!
But as I said, Sluts need understanding and love. Their hearts can be very tender and to misuse their gifts is what can change a sweet slut into a bitter person. Treat your Slut kindly. And if the Slut around, please understand, their gift is too great to keep to themselves. If they are taking care of your needs, let them fly free. They will come back.
Don’t shame the slut. Worship the Slut.
04 May 2012
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Dr Susan Block, Female, Female Sexuality, Male, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Safe Sex, sex toys, sexuality, Vibrators
Tags: Couples sex talk, dildo, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, Male Sexuality, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, sex toys, sexuality, vibrator
I’m back! What did I miss?
We have so little to cover and so much time to do it. Wait, scratch that. Reverse it. Moving on…
First – Dr Adam Ostrzenski, of the Institute of Gynocology in St Petersburg, Florida claims to have found the actual G-Spot! You may have heard about this on the news, but let’s look a bit closer, shall we? Whatever he found, it is causing huge waves in the medical and sexual health fields. Doctors are lining up on both sides of the debate. You see, one side says, “Hooray! Another clue to the mystery!” while the other proclaims, “The G-Spot is not real! Stop trying to make women into sexual robots who respond to physical impulses!”
Tough room. The doctor claims that not only is this very small cluster of grape-like pods in a sac the g-spot, but that it can rupture or weaken most likely during labor trauma. So it seems that having kids could really dent your sexual desire. Regardless, he only found this in one woman, 84 years old. As we do know, every woman is different. The g-spot may be large or small or even non-existent. The problem is that humans tend to get caught up in the whirlwind of “OMG, I Must Be Dysfunctional.” Not only that, it only measured 8.1 mm by 1.5-3.6 mm by 0.4 mm. Harder to find than the clitoris! (Which is not hard to find at all! See: https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/10/15/the-amazing-clitoris/)
So what are you going to do? This is where Synchronicity happens:
It is National Masturbation Month!!!!!
So let’s go exploring! Let’s break out our Official Doc Johnson Lubricant and Official Doc Johnson Toys and go spelunking. We have all sorts of toys and gizmos to reach everyplace you have thought of and several that you haven’t. If you need some masturbation tips, please refer to these wonderful columns:
https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/05/06/national-masturbation-month-part-1-im-not-jerking-you-around-here/
https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/05/27/airing-the-orchid-or-women-are-wankers-too/
Or check in with my Dear Friend Dr Suzy: http://bloggamy.com/masturbation-month-news/
But first some important news: There is nothing wrong with you if you cannot locate your G-Spot. Some women are much more sensitive than others and every woman is different. I would hate it if you were all the same. So take your time. Explore yourself alone or with a special friend. The goal is not finding the g-spot. The goal is your feeling good, having fun and feeling fulfilled. Each of you is special and I love you dearly for it. Relax, don’t worry. Masturbate yourself to bliss!
Other Breaking News:
A recent study shows that men think about Sex, Food and Sleep. In that order. Can you say “DUH!” How can I get paid to conduct these studies. (Point of difference: The study was done with college aged men between 18-25. I am a bit older and my order is Food, Drink, WOMAN, Sleep…)
Yet another study published in The American Journal of Medicine states that with many older women, sex gets better as they age. I am still not surprised. Older women know what works for them and how to achieve satisfaction. Like I mentioned earlier, it is all about your satisfaction. Satisfied women are happy women. Happy women (come in California) make happy men. Let’s do this people!
And finally: the FDA approves a new drug for the treatment of erectile dysfunction! Huzzah! Men suffering from ED need to masturbate too! It is called Stendra and should be taken 30 minutes before sexual activity. It is also a PDE5, so all the same warnings about nitrates, vision, hearing, etc, etc, etc.
Thanks for visiting! Now wash your hands and let’s go get something to eat!
16 Jan 2012
by Mystertim
in 2012, ANME, Couples Sexuality, Doc Johnson
Tags: dildo, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, sexuality, strap-on, vibrator
Lordy, Lordy it has been a trade show whirlwind!
If I started talking about everything that happened, we would be here for hours! So let’s just look at some pretty pictures instead. (I reserve the right to comment as necessary.)
Beginning with ANME 2012. The whole team got together for something special!
We May be up to something...
Yep, we have a little bit of something for everyone! Please, no cat jokes. Her claws are sharp!
Yes, we were.
Beautiful!
She will probably hurt me for this, but then I usually pay extra for that!
Sing along, "Swiss Miss, Dominatrix!"
And where would we be without…
Arrrgh! Avast me hearties!
But it was a wonderful show, we saw so many old friends, made new friends and I did not hear of a single drop of blood being shed. What we do is exciting because we get to help you get it on!
Ready to help. Because we are just like that.
20 Oct 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Doc Johnson, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Psychology, sex toys, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Psychology, sex, sex toys, sexuality, vibrator, women
Perhaps a few of you remember the sexy blonde with major boobage I mentioned earlier this year. If you don’t, for shame. Re-read about her here: https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/04/15/erotic-spitting-or-how-is-it-raining-in-the-bedroom/
We were having a great conversation about new concepts in sexual health and wellness when out of the blue she asked, “How do you fall asleep on those nights when the world keeps you awake?”
She caught me at a weak moment. Couldn’t help but tell her the plain unvarnished truth. You should have seen her eyes light up. How could I resist? I mean, her boobs got in my eyes and everything! Someday we will have to discuss this reoccurring dream I have about her.
But before we get into how Dr Tim relaxes on nights when he is carrying all of the world’s problems on his shoulders, let’s look at our souls.
Yes, it is about to get all metaphysical up in here! What makes us “us?” Who are you and how did you get that way?
Beats the heck out of me. I am not even sure where is soul is located. From all of my studies, it is believed to be located everywhere from the third eye to the brown eye. Some even believe that the soul is in the blood. I’ve had my cholesterol checked, but never has my doctor asked for a soul level. Only Brothers and Sisters have ever gauged my Soul Level. Solid!
The soul apparently is everything from your conscience to your mind to your very life force. So we do not know where it is or even what it is, but we know that we have one. Or some depending on your point of view. Perhaps some of us do not even have one. Maybe only so many souls were created and we have out-populated the number available. There are thousands of people walking around without one. Why are there so many more heartless criminals that stare at you with empty eyes? They have no soul to care. And those of us with souls are there to feel the pain and lie awake night after night.
How do I sleep? Usually on my side. I’ll cuddle you so hard and then spoon the hell out of you!
Seriously though, on those nights that stretch out forever while being boycotted by the Sandman, I turn to Doc Johnson! And you should too!
I don’t know if my soul is in my asshole, but I do know that is a major tension center. Ever hear the phrase, “That tight-ass Mofo needs to relax!”
Tension Relief!
Here is my secret: I know they call it a clit stick, but I take that little beauty, turn it on and sandwich it between my cheeks with the tip just touching my asshole. The tension just seems to drain away and I am sound asleep within 5-10 minutes. Why? I don’t know. Maybe it massages my soul or simply helps me to relax. Regardless of why, the sleep of the innocent lasts all night long. I do have to replace the batteries fairly often since I do not wake up turn it off. It is also kind of fun to figure out where it went during the night too. Does that make me gay? No. It makes me secure. Read about men and anal play here: https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/08/29/strap-it-on/
I’ll need it tonight however, all I can think about is sexy blonde with major boobage using a vibrator on her asshole. She waxes. Everything. E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g!
There may be some serious weasel-whipping going on tonight as well. Cold shower anyone?
14 Oct 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Safe Sex, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Transexual, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, boobs, clit, clitoris, cock, Couples sex talk, Cunnilingus, dick, dildo, emotion, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, gay, Lesbian, Male Sexuality, men, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, pussy, Science, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, Transexual, vibrator, women
“Sweetie, what are you thinking about right now?”
“Well Darling, there isn’t a game on so I am thinking about boobs.’ (Famous Last Words)
And I am, unless I am thinking about pussy or ass. Maybe about how good a blowjob would feel right now.
You are correct, Dear Readers, these are not appropriate answers when you get hit by “The Question” by your Significant Other.
In fact, this question is almost worse than the “We Need to Talk” statement. Not quite, but almost.
Now I know that all of you have well-rounded lives with great jobs, community work, charity work and being a pillar of your House of Worship whichever that may be. But guess what? We all think about boobs. Even women think about boobs! I am very pro-boob and I am not afraid to say it.
So where am I going with all of this? Everyone thinks about sex. It is in just about everyone’s top five list of obsessions. Or in my case the top two, I do love cheeseburgers.
Consider this, we all think about sex. A lot really. And that leads to uncomfortable situations. Who hasn’t been caught checking someone out? Male, female, straight, gay, lesbian, bi, trans, everyone has been busted. It could be boobs, a bulging package or the way that ass moves under that sheer sun dress. It could be a piece of jewelry or a particular shade of lipstick. Even a fragrance can take you there.
https://quantumcogitation.com/2009/12/11/always-sniffing-around-or-smell-my-fetish/
And it could take your thoughts to uninhibited states of fantasy activities. Strap-ons, anal sex, oral sex, threesome, moresome, orgies or your handy Official Doc Johnson devices and lubes. Oh, do buy lots of Official Doc Johnson toys and lubes. If it is better than Cock, it came from the Doc!
The brain is an amazing organ where your mind constructs new realities and worlds where the impossible can happen. I have this little dream where Eva Mendez comes over to bake chocolate chip cookies with me and…
That is when you get busted. Men are caught with a small smile and a growing chubby. Women stand up and everyone looks for the velcro they just heard. (Are you sitting in a puddle or are you just happy to see me?)
And most of the time, it is a fair cop. Now I just happen to have a great job where I not only to have to think about sex constantly, but I have to think about making it better or longer-lasting, or tastier. Yep. To use business-speak, I need to maximize your sensory experience during erotic interludes. In other words, Me make bouncy-bouncy more bouncy!
So yes, I think about sex a lot. Almost as much as a teenager with the exception that I know what I am doing. I hope. https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/10/15/the-amazing-clitoris/
Other times it is an unfortunate frustration. I was caught checking out a young college lady and was scolded for being a dirty old pervert. One, I am not dirty. I shower every day. Two, I am not that old. If it were true, I would have smiled and been about my business. When I am busted for silently perving, I admit it and ask how they busted me. Were they thinking the same things?
However that one time was different. The young lady in question was the daughter of an old girlfriend from college. She looked so much like her Mom did in college that it made me smile, remembering those happy days.
It isn’t always about sex. It just usually is…
So what’s on your naughty mind? Drop me a line and let me know! My email and twiiter are over there to the right somewhere.
10 Oct 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, chemicals, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Dr Susan Block, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Regulatory, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Transexual, Vibrators, Wendy Williams
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, chemicals, clit, clitoris, Couples sex talk, dildo, FDA, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, gay, Lesbian, Male Sexuality, men, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, Science, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, Transexual, vibrator, women
A post on Monday morning?
Inconceivable!
However, it has been brought to my attention that one or two of you were pulled away from your computer against your will Saturday night.
Well, you missed it. Dr Tim was on the air. A nice 30 minute interview with DerekD and Peter Dickem on “The DerekD SHow.” They are on this nifty website www.pleasureradio.fm.
So go ahead, visit the site, check out the program archives and hear what I had to say. I didn’t do much for world peace, but maybe you can get a piece from our conversation.
Big shout-out to: @pleasurefm @peterdickem @dirtyderekd @drsuzy @TsWendyWilliams
Follow them on Twitter, or if boredom is more your style, follow me on Twitter! The link is over there to the right somewhere.
Happy Monday Everyone!
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