Quote of the Day (Or, Lovely Sentiment)

16 Nov 2012 1 Comment

by Mystertim in Anal Sex, Anatomy, Doc Johnson, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Wendy Williams Tags: , , , , , , ,

So there I was, having a conversation with an amazing woman at work.  She was commenting on the fact that not everyone privileged to work at a company which empowers people to embrace their sexuality, is as open-minded as those of us who do.  Well, to be quite honest, everyone regardless of employment may have certain phobias of a sexual nature.

Can you guess our topic?  That’s right!  Butt sex!

She had overheard some folks disparaging butt plugs.  You are familiar with butt plugs aren’t you?  They come in all shapes and sizes for your specific anal pleasure.  For example:

The folks she overheard were none too complimentary towards the intended use of said item or the people who use them.

That is when she uttered my Quote of the Day: “If their ass is a sacred temple of flatulence and waste, I feel sorry for them!”

What a powerful statement!

All types of men, women and trans use butt plugs to fulfill their needs and desires.  Nothing wrong with that!  Some like the feeling of fullness, the stretching or just get off on the deed.

Remember: It is your ass.  Enjoy it!

Dr Tim is On-the-Air (or Turn your radio on!)

10 Oct 2011 Leave a comment

by Mystertim in Anatomy, chemicals, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Dr Susan Block, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Regulatory, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Transexual, Vibrators, Wendy Williams Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A post on Monday morning?

Inconceivable!

However, it has been brought to my attention that one or two of you were pulled away from your computer against your will Saturday night.

Well, you missed it.  Dr Tim was on the air.  A nice 30 minute interview with DerekD and Peter Dickem on “The DerekD SHow.”  They are on this nifty website www.pleasureradio.fm.

So go ahead, visit the site, check out the program archives and hear what I had to say.  I didn’t do much for world peace, but maybe you can get a piece from our conversation.

Big shout-out to: @pleasurefm @peterdickem @dirtyderekd @drsuzy @TsWendyWilliams

Follow them on Twitter, or if boredom is more your style, follow me on Twitter!  The link is over there to the right somewhere.

Happy Monday Everyone!

Trade Show Fever (or, I am not an ANME-AL)

15 Jul 2011 Leave a comment

by Mystertim in Anatomy, chemicals, cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Dr Susan Block, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Transexual, Vibrators, Wendy Williams Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Well, maybe I am.  Seems there were a couple shows presenting “Implements/Accessories of Personal Sexual Empowerment Strategically Designed for Human (Singular or Multiple) Ascent towards La Petite Mort.”  (Sex toys to get y’all off!  On your own or with friends.)

Of course, I will be covering the ANME show.  That stands for the Adult Novelty Manufacturers Expo.  And since Doc Johnson is one of the Founding Five, we had a ginormous booth!  Yes, there are four others, but hey, this is about us.

Oh the glamour!  Oh the toys!  Oh the lubes!  And even some most excellent eye candy was on display for everyone to enjoy.  Many of my readers have not heard of this show because it is not open to the public.  It is, as they say, B2B or Business to Business.  Folks who sell to folks who sell to folks who sell to folks who use the products.  Manufacturer to Distributor to Stores to You!  Sounds complicated, but it really isn’t.  Just the American Dream in action promoting Freedom of Speech, the Right to Our Own Bodies and money.

Our theme was the “School Of Doc.”  We had a classroom where one could touch, feel and learn all about our very cool products.  We even had video in the background!

Don't Be Late For Class!

Oh Yeah!  We had candy in class.  Bet you never had that before, did you?  (Culinary and confectionary schools don’t count…)  And guess what?  We had a faculty there to show, teach and learn with you!

Nerdy but Dirty Faculty of SOD!

They may have been walking around with clipboards, but those rulers were never far away!  Looks like I am going to stay after class again today.  DANG!  (One great thing about teachers is that they make you do it over and over until you get it right.)

But it wasn’t all fun and games.  There were many serious meetings that took place.  Sharks circling each other, looking for weakness, waiting to pounce and close the deal.  It was tough, make no mistake!

Advanced Business Strategy in Process

The great part however, was renewing old friendships, remembering why you didn’t particularly like someone, seeing what was new and maybe getting a behind closed-door demo of some of the products.  Which, I must add (lawyers insist) that those games are not business related, just friendly slap and tickle between friends.  Those days of bedroom business are long gone.  Yep, everything is uber-professional now.  Business is business.  And playtime is playtime.  (They don’t call me Tim-Bone for nothing, you know.)

People just could not keep their hands off our toys.

Free-Balling!

Although that picture reminds me of my ex-wife and her female lawyer…

Needless to say, there were sights to see, things to do and people to meet.  I had a very productive day meeting with some clients discussing new opportunities so that I can get my boss that new Testarossa.  I’m selfless like that.  Ask around.

And since I’ve learned how to add pictures to my posts.  (Promise to learn how to use fewer later.)  There are some other folks that should be recognised.

More Sales People:

More of the Sales Staff!

The Director of Product Development!  (Everything is his fault…)

I'm not sleeping! Just listening!

And of course, the Big Boss!

He is The MAN!

So everyone will be seeing some really great new toys and lubes coming their way this fall.  I’d say 99% of them will be coming from us, Doc Johnson.  But then you might say I am a wee bit prejudiced.

OK, due to the news, I postponed the talk about SRS, Filet O’Penis and lubes until next week.  Guys can be such fraidy-cats about some things.  Me?  I’m going home and making lasagna!

Note to readers in Southern California.  Stock up on your Doc Johnson toys and lubes.  It is going to be a long weekend, so stay home and enjoy yourself!

Transgenderism (or Ch-ch-ch-changes!)

24 Jun 2011 Leave a comment

by Mystertim in Anatomy, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, sex toys, Strap-ons, Transexual, Vibrators, Wendy Williams Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Warning: Know right now that we are talking about a controversial subject using frank, adult language.  If you are under 18, leave now.  Come back when you are older.  There may also be pictures…

Quick, how many different genders are there?

If you said two, you have not been keeping up with the world.  Let me take you, if I may, on a journey…

While we were all taught as youngsters that there were men and there were women the differentiation is not quite as concrete as previously thought.  Gender orientation is as fluid as sine waves.

Men on the Left, Women on the Right

On the top figure, the apex of each curve represents pure male or pure female.  As you can see, there are many different points on the scale and each one represents a different gender possibility.  In between, we have everything from A to Z.  Now it is important to differentiate between Gender Orientation and Sexual Orientation.  How you see yourself as a person is intertwined but separate from how you see your sexuality.  If it wasn’t, men would only want women and women would only want men.  But we know that is not the case.  Homosexuality and Bisexuality are well documented in humans as well as the animal kingdom.  However, humans have the ability to identify their gender.  Sometimes it is not as easy as you might guess.

Intersexed – These folks may have atypical sexual organs, creating a person who is not truly male or female.

Transgender – These folks live their lives as the opposite gender.

Transsexuals – These folks are transitioning from one gender to another.

Androgyny – These folks are gender neutral like Pat from Saturday Night Live.  (Created by Julia Sweeny)

It's Pat!

Let’s talk Tranny!  They are the mainstay of the porn industry and are a niche growing by leaps and bounds.  What makes a person transsexual?

Good question!  I have been studying some papers published in the Journal of Psychiatric Research.

“The microstructure of white matter in male to female transsexuals before cross-sex hormonal treatment. A DTI study.” (Journal of Psychiatric Research, doi:10.1016/j.jpsychires.2010.11.007)

“White matter microstructure in female to male transsexuals before cross-sex hormonal treatment.  A diffusion tensor imaging study” (Journal of Psychiatric Research, doi:10.1016/j.jpsychires.2010.05.006)

Basically, they (Antonio Guillamon’s team at the National University of Distance Education in Madrid, Spain) think they have found a way to identify transgenders before puberty with a brain scan.  In their study, about 38% of the transgenders studied knew they were different by the age of five.  This scan has shown significant differences in the white matter of the brain when comparing transgenders to non-transgenders.

The layout of the white matter development in Female to male transsexuals matches that of the male brain.  And the while the white matter development in male to female transsexuals does not exactly mirror that of the female brain, it is much more female than male.  Seems reasonable!  And that the white matter in your brain may not mature for 20-30 years, so a late-blooming transsexual is not surprising.

And I have this fascinating document (Progress in Brain Research, Vol. 186, doi: 10.1016/B978-0-444-53630-3.00004-X) called “Sexual differentiation of the human brain in relation to gender identity and sexual orientation.  It claims that sexual identity and gender identity are set in our brains before birth.  The sexual differentiation of the genitals takes place in the first two months of pregnancy but the sexual differentiation of the brain takes place in the latter half of the pregnancy.  Therefore the genitals and brain do not always match.  It goes on to note that social environment after birth has any effect on gender or sexual orientation.

Reread this entry: https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/04/08/sexual-orientation-part-i/

Now to fun stuff!  As you know, Wendy Williams is one of our favorite trannys at Doc Johnson.  We are releasing toys and sprays just for her.  She has graciously allowed me to use the photos she took.

Wendy Williams Salad Tossing Spray!

Look at her lick!  If you like salad tossing but not the all-day funk of underwear, try a few shots of Wendy’s Salad Tossing Spray!  It will give your loved one a shiny tasty ass.  Now get your tongue in there!

By the way, that ass she is licking is hers.  Yes, you too can have Wendy William’s ass in your bed every night.  Here, check out the comparison:

Sweet enough to eat!

Nice and tight!

Maybe her ass is too tight?  If you are a big guy like me, you may have to warm her up with licking and stretching.  Try out Wendy’s Anal Training Kit.

On Sale Now!

Wendy is not just a beautiful woman, she uses the products too.  Especially when she is preparing for a BIG movie.

And that's the large one too!

Doc Johnson is very sex-friendly.  We may not have sex the way you do, but we have everything you need to get it on and get it off.  Give us a try!  And as Dr Tim always say, unless he doesn’t, I don’t judge.  I just want to hold the camcorder!

Follow: Wendy Williams on Twitter – @TSWendyWilliams;  Doc Johnson – @The OriginalDoc

Airing the Orchid (or Women are Wankers Too!)

27 May 2011 Leave a comment

by Mystertim in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Dr Susan Block, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Safe Sex, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Transexual, Vibrators, Wendy Williams Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Where does the time go?  It seems like I just started celebrating National Masturbation Month and time evaporated.  But no matter how much I whip the weasel, I always return.  Lucky for you the store ran out of oysters!

So let’s talk about the Ladies.  Wait a minute!  Women don’t masturbate.  They never audition the finger puppets, bruise the peach, check for squirrels, diddle the skittle, flick the bean, jill-off, tease the kitten and never engage in genital stimulation via phalangetic motions.   Bullspit!  Ladies have been checking the chowder since they were young.  Oh sure, she may have had a pillow named Lief or a blanket named Shaun, but she was always thinking of you.  Really!  Would a Woman lie?

So how do women masturbate?  There doesn’t seem to be anything that she could really grab and play with effectively.  After all didn’t Rodney Dangerfield say, “As a kid we were so poor that if I hadn’t been born a boy I wouldn’t have had anything to play with!”  Leads one to believe that if he did get a lot of pussy, he had no idea how to treat it.

Let’s see a show of hands now.  How many of you love laundry day for the spin cycle, getting really close to the vacuum handle and why do cell phones have such a strong “vibrate” setting?

Everything is designed to help Momma relieve the tension so she doesn’t kill the kids and bury them under the shed.  Years ago, “hysterical” women received their vibrators via prescription from the doctor.  Please refer to this post: https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/10/15/the-amazing-clitoris/ to learn about how little medical science paid attention to women and their anatomy.  Shameful.  That is just one of the many reasons that Dr Tim inspects as much female anatomy as possible!  (Which reminds me, I really should call Debi Diamond.  Miss you!)

So what can Doc Johnson do for you?

Glad you asked.  You may have heard of Dr Susan Block.  She is a brilliant woman who loves sex, masturbation and the bonobos.  You can find a link to her blog here: http://bloggamy.com/  Do check out her websites and her live shows.  She is adorable!  I love this woman and have been a fan of hers for a long time.  Maybe someday we can share a chocolate chip cookie.

She is a good friend of Doc Johnson and loves the Original Pocket Rocket.

One of Dr Suzy's Favorites!

This little baby gives an amazing buzz to wherever you care to place it!  Buzz the labia, park it next to the anus and when you place it on your clit, WHOO-HOO!  These are so good, that both of my ex-wives loved this particular piece of electronic wizardry.  In fact, one of them would melt one down every six months or so.  Should’ve invested in batteries instead of Edsels.  Too soon old, too late smart.  (Oh, just in case you were worried about vibrator addiction: https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/03/25/vibrator-addiction-r-r-r-r-r-really/

But that’s not all!  For a strong, deep throbbing pulse, check out this one:

Intense!

Now this gives you a deep throbbing action that will amaze, astound, and make you squeal.  Recommended by our own sales team here at DJ.  And since they are around toys all day, the fact that they specifically asked me to include this one should catch your attention.  I took one home and if you want it, you will have to pry it from my cold, dead hands.  Works wonders on my, um shoulders!  Yeah on my shoulders.  (Actually, it feels great on my lower back too.  Not that low!  Well, maybe, hold me afterwards?)

Am I moving too fast for you?  Let’s slow things down a bit.  How about we get in the mood?  Let’s lower the lights, play some slow, hip-swaying music, maybe pour a glass of our favorite adult beverage.  Feel the light breeze from the ceiling fan?  Relax.  Let your hand drift slowly over your clothed body.  Lose a layer of clothes.  All you have on is your lingerie.  Feels nice.  Oh, you are wearing your Good lingerie too.  Beautiful.  Lets open some body butter and slowly apply it to the top of your breasts.  So smooth and sensual.  Move to your tummy.  You are in great shape.  You must drive the men crazy all day.  If only they could see you now.  So smooth on the legs.  Long slow strokes as the body butter melts into your skin.  Oh yeah, your eyes are half closed and a sly smile spreads across your lips.  You know what’s coming…

Spread it on and feel the bliss.

Now perhaps you would like to reach for that vibrator, dildo or strap-on.  (Remember: If it’s from the Doc, it’s as good as cock! TM)  Feel the buzz, things are getting hotter and wetter.  The dildo slides in so smoothly and fills you up.  How about a dab of lube or a clitoral stimulator?  (Look for Spot-On, coming in July!) Or maybe you are feeling especially naughty…

Now you can do Cowgirl all by yourself.

Or just maybe, well he has been hinting.  Is it time to explore?  Oh yes!

Summer Loving is Backdoor Loving.

Just tease yourself.  You can wait all day, bring yourself up and down.  So close, but wait, catch your breath.  You know the longer it takes, the better it will feel.  Mount that dildo.  Ride it just the way you like it.  lightly touch your nipples, your breasts, that beautiful round butt.  Maybe a pinch or a slap.  Breathe deeply.  gain momentum, your eyes close tightly and then open wide.  Your orgasm crescendos reaching a climax that shatters your mind.  Your nipples are hard, you are soaking wet and slack-jawed you stare at the ceiling.  That smile returns as your eyes close and you drift off to sleep.  To sleep, perchance to dream.  Aye, there’s the rub!

And rub you did.  Well done!  Next time video your experience and send to Dr Tim so that he can praise you mightily and nightly.  drtim@quantumcogitation.com

So what if times are tough and you can’t afford one of Doc Johnson’s pleasure devices?  Not to worry.  You have plenty of options.  Remember the washing machine, the vacuum?  One can always place a broom or mop between the mattress and box springs for a quick ride.  (Condoms can also help prevent splinters.)  And even a door knob works well.  You do not need a toy to masturbate.  It is important to make some special time to yourself.  Orgasms release endorphins.  They help you stay clam, cool and collected out in the harsh world.  And having regular orgasms give you a sexy air that drive me (men) wild!  Cum early and often.

Of course having a good imagination with a rich fantasy life never hurts either.  I have one.  You can tell because I keep blogging as if someone actually reads it.

Well my hand cramp seems to have relaxed.  And I have four more days to “spend” in the bathroom testing new lubes.  I love my job!