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Resolved! (Is it even possible for me to be better?)

Good Old Dr Tim has come to your rescue and jotted down some ideas for 2011.  Give them a shot…

Resolutions for the New Year:

1. Enjoy myself more. 

How can I enjoy myself more?  Well, as the old song says, “Masturbation can be fun!”  Really, if you are single, partnered or married a little bit of self-love is a wonderful thing.  After all, how can you direct your lover to your most sensitive erogenous zones if you don’t know where they are located?  Let your hands roam your body, do it in front of the mirror, with your eyes closed however you like, but leave no inch of skin untouched.  Discover what a light touch vs a heavy touch does for you.  Ah, the things you will discover!  While you are at it, get a nude full body massage.  Personally, my favorite bits of a full body massage are my head and my feet.  Who knew?

2. Enjoy others more.

Take the time to pay very close attention to your partner and loved ones.  Just like you, there are probably things they would enjoy if they knew about them.  Give them a slow sensuous massage and see where it leads.  Pay attention to those out-of-the-way spots and build up the sensations.  Tease, tease, tease, tease some more, then taste.  Unbelievable!  They go nuts!

3. Try new things.

Buy lots and lots of sex toys sold by Doc Johnson!  Do it!  (Remember?  I work there.  ‘Nuff said.)  I have it on excellent authority that the Pocket Rocket is magic!  (I use one too…)

Seriously, try new things.  Share a book, video, sex toy catalog (hint, hint) with your lover.  Talk openly and as honestly as possible about new adventures.  Back door?  Yours or hers? Check out my archives.  There is an excellent article about strap-ons (https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/08/29/strap-it-on/), anal sex (https://quantumcogitation.com/2010/04/30/interesting-question-caution-naughtiness-ahead/), the clitoris (https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/10/15/the-amazing-clitoris/), premature ejaculation (https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/12/22/premature-ejaculation-what-too-soon/) and more!

4. Open yourself to love and forgiveness.

And start with yourself.  Nobody is rougher on me than I am.  My dear, dear friend Taylor opened my eyes though.  Once I forgave myself for my shortcomings and began to like myself better, well everything changed.  My eating habits got better, I slept better, I exercise more, weight is falling off of me too.  That woman probably saved my life.  Love you!  So scoff if you like, but it really can help.  And when you are open to love, you are open for business.  A good positive vibe is very sexy and draws people into your circle.  Several of them would probably love to sleep with you too!  Saddle up!

5. Talk to someone.

It is a wonderful thing to be open up and express yourself without fear of recrimination.  Freedom never tasted so good.  You are not alone in your thoughts.  Hopefully your partners can do this with you.  If not, do you have a friend with whom you can discuss anything?  A therapist?  Or an unshockable group of warm caring folks?  (Check out my Blogroll.  One of the world’s best is there.  I’m looking at you Dr. Suzy!)

6. Summing up.

To quote a fictional character from a book, when asked to explain the universe he said, “It’s a funny old world.”

So relax, open up, enjoy yourself more and you will see that you didn’t really have to change much at all.  2011 looks like it is going to be another wild ride.  So buckle up, grab some condoms, sex toys from Doc Johnson and full speed ahead!

And if you don’t find your favorite fetish discussed or have a question, write to me!  We can also go into greater detail about older posts.  I’ll answer your question and will probably dedicate a post to it.  My email address is: drtim@quantumcogitation.com

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Naughty, Nice? (Or Nicely Naughty?)

I was out shopping the other day and Santa said to me, “What do want for Christmas?  Ho, ho, ho!”

I replied, “That will do nicely.”

Which brings me to the point.  Some folks think that you shouldn’t have sex around Christmas!  Can you believe that?

Let’s see if we can figure out why, so pull up your psychiatric armchairs and let’s go!

As children, we are told that masturbation is naughty.  Good boys and girls don’t do that.  The Bible commands us not to spill our seed on the ground.  (Which is fine by me since I have cashmere sweat socks.  Someday I will tell you their names.)  And so we become ashamed of our sexuality.  We hide it and keep our most precious identity hidden from the our family, friends and the world.  Our guilt grows with each stolen orgasm and we swear that we will never do it again.  Even though we know that we will.  And the guilt cycle continues.

We are also told that Santa does not bring presents to naughty children.  Well, that did it for me!  I was as pure as I possibly could be throughout December and my dirty laundry grew exponentially in January.  And I was ashamed.  Started doing my own laundry so Mom wouldn’t discover my secret and be disappointed in me.  Couldn’t bear even the thought of that.

But then I grew older, I went to college and began a journey, the stuff of which legends are made, into sexuality.  (Buy the films like everyone else.  They are out there on the internet somewhere.)  Turns out that sex can be even more fun is you have a partner or two!  But still, there was a certain hesitancy about sex in December.

Being a bright young lad, I appealed to reason.  “Look, there is four feet of snow outside. It is cold and we would be most warm and cozy if we both got into this pair of long underwear.”   Success was achieved.  I smile when I see long underwear ads and people wonder why. 

“But Baby, the wind chill is -70 F so you know your parents won’t be coming to your apartment.”  Success again.  Now you know why I love the cold.

“Don’t worry Darling, I will pick all of the pine needles out of your butt with my teeth.”  I really love the holidays!  The smell of a Christmas tree brings back so many memories.

“We will be the ony ones at the party with our clothes on.”  Have I mentioned how much I miss college?  This was back when the worst STD you could get would be cured by a dose or two of penicillin.  Those were the days.  Get in where you fit in!

“Your love is truly an amazing gift of which I am unworthy.  Please let me unwrap it and show you how I feel.”  Yeah, I didn’t feel so good about myself after that one, but I was young, hung and full of bull crap.

However, at my advanced age, the true meaning of Christmas sex becomes clear.  Unbridled, uninhibited sex brings two or more people to a state of pure being.  You are at your true identity during sex.  All masks, games, petty squabbles fall to the wayside and the one, two or more of you become a glowing bright blue spark of pure human essence.  Even if you are role playing, having angry sex, employing one or more of your official Doc Johnson sex toys there is an orgasmic moment when you are purely you.  And in my mind, that glow of humanity, stripped of pretense, is pleasing to G-d’s eye.  Holy and truthful we stand naked before Him, unashamed.

Man that’s a beautiful thing. 

It’s either that or if we don’t have sex, there will be fewer children and Santa will be way overstocked with toys.

Take your pick.  Have a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and the most awesome of New Years.

Medical Play (An MRI? Really?)

How many of you are into medical play?

Yes, I have played a doctor behind the woodshed and have used the phrase “Hellooo Nurse!” on way too many occasions.  But how about the use of sounds, Wartenburg wheels, TENS units, performed the Num-Num test and the like.  A good pair of stirrups goes a long way.

Check this out: http://bcove.me/qhiroajk

Yes, someone did a study of what coitus looks like in an MRI machine.  It is amazing.  Blew my mind.  The actual clip was assembled from all the pictures taken during the procedure and is in the last-minute of the clip.  Check it out.  I will never get those images out of my mind.

And let me know if you want to discuss the medical fetish.  No need for an appointment.  The Doctor will see you now.

Major Turn-ons (Not for Everyone…)

Today’s Early Morning Question:  Dr Tim, what is your number one, mind-shattering, earth-moving major turn-on?

Since it was barely 6:30 this morning, my first response was, “Breakfast?”  After all, isn’t that something a man yearns for every single day of his life?

My answer was deemed unsatisfactory.  Imagine that.  Now imagine Dr Tim imagining that.  Now imagine Dr Tim imaging that while wearing a speedo and furry boa.  (I’m in your head forever now…)

Turn-ons.  The magic fetish that sends your libido into overdrive.  Yes, a turn-on is considered a fetish.  And although the word ‘fetish” has been co-opted by television and the movies to mean “hot babe in leather” it is a much more complex than that.  (Do not stop sending me those pictures of hot babes in leather though.  I’m writing a paper, yeah that’s it!)  Even the media is beginning to loosen up.  I was watching “Attack of the Show” recently and have been enjoying the WTF segment.  They have shown America several interesting fetishes that may shock, amuse or bore you.

Lipstick fetish – the application of multiple layers of lip color.  Sometimes garish, mostly elegant.  This appears to be a more specific version of a make-up fetish stemming from young folks watch their Mother go through their make-up ritual every day.  It truly is amazing to watch the transformation.  The art, the precision, the glamour.  Really, I could watch and watch unless we are late for our reservations.

Vacuum beds – where a person is put into a giant latex bag and all of the air is removed leaving the person immobilized and helpless.  Now there is some hot sweaty fun.  The two hosts took turns in the bag and their reactions were priceless.  The fact that this was being performed by a hot babe in fetish gear did not hurt.  It helped build the scene.

Ear Cleaning – this may have been a spoof, but how good does it feel to use that cotton-tipped stick in your ear?  Uh-huh, thought so.  I never thought about taking it further, but it looks like it works!

So a fetish can really be anything that gets you going.  Shoes, stockings, army boots and kick to the nads, whatever.  I have a lady friend that loves to clean house.  It gets her warmed up and then she rides the vibration of the vacuum cleaner to climax.  Hey, I don’t judge and my place gets a thorough cleaning to boot!

Whatever puts you in motion is fine.  Just make sure that all the players are on board and nobody is made to do something they don’t want to do.  (By force or guilt.)  If your fetish concerns non-consenting partners, please get help.  You may have some issues and that just isn’t healthy.

Oh, my major turn-on?  I may be showing my age, but my biggest turn-on is intimacy.  Yep, having that special someone who knows everything about you and sleeps with you anyway!  It goes both ways and that is very exciting for me.

Have fun, play safe and keep those cards, letters, pictures and videos coming in!

Holiday Poem (For my Favorite Vendor)

Be good my little children

For Christmas time is near.

Listen closely for Old Santa

And his sleigh with eight reindeer.

And take caution older kidlets

Treat all with loving care.

For you will never realize

When an elf is standing there.

And as for me, you’ll find me

Underneath the mistletoe

Waiting for a rendezvous

With the Girls from Deveraux

Do not laugh or spite me

Or call me a so-and-so

Either know my heart is full of love

Or I’m just an old mofo…