Advertisements

More is Less (or, So, What are You Wearing?)

OK.  I admit it. 

I love women’s clothes.  There, it is out in the open now.  Think what you want, but now we can move into our conversation for today.

So, what are you wearing?  Oh yeah, Baby!  You know what Daddy likes!

Clothing and sexuality have a close-knit relationship.  (See what I did there?)  The way you dress expresses the way you see yourself to others.  That outfit tells us how you are feeling and what you need.  Men and women get a real clue.  If you have the strength to walk into a party wearing a full-length tiger-print silk sheath and high heels, you will run the show.

Let’s talk t-shirts.  I love t-shirts.  I especially love them when a woman is wearing one.  Wearing a t-shirt lets us know that she is feeling secure.  A secure woman is a sexy woman.  There is this Blonde with Major Boobage with whom I have frequent meetings that knocks me out when she wears a t-shirt.  I wish she didn’t wear a bra with it as well, but you can’t always get what you want.  In fact, when I mentioned to her that the bra was unnecessary, she told me it was.

“I know you, Dr Tim.  If I didn’t wear a bra you would just happen by with a bucket of cold water that just might accidentally spill in my direction.”

She was right.  I wanted to test that theory, but she would have none of it and I would get none of it either.  *SIGH*

You know what else I have a clothes fetish for?  Fuzzy sweaters.  Oh man, big soft boobs encased in a layer of warm, fuzzy, snuggly wonderfulness.  It makes a grown man leak.  Puddles, not just caused by women!  Now I know what you might be thinking. 

“Dr Tim! When are you going to discuss sexy lingerie?”

Just a moment.  Keep your pants on.  Well at least keep them on up to your knees…

There is something else I wanted to discuss about t-shirts.  They can hide many fascinating experiences.  Have you ever lifted up a woman’s t-shirt and found a strap-on underneath?  Never saw it coming did you?  Neither did I, but baby, what a ride!  (By the way, Doc Johnson sells all types of strap-ons, harnesses, dildos, lubricants, just everything you would need!  Buy some today!)

Another great thing about t-shirts is their flexibility!  Say you were on a picnic in the woods and your lady is feeling the need for anal sex.  You can twist and pull on that t-shirt while trying to stay on for 8 seconds and it will look JUST FINE when the two of you are finished!  We need more clothes like this!  Or after a sloppy blowjob or muff dive at home, that t-shirt can be thrown into the laundry without any fuss or muss.  T-shirts – The world’s perfect clothing item?

OK, sexy lingerie.  I knew a fine young lady in college with Colossal Boobage who would opine, “Dr Tim. (Actually I was just Mr Tim back then.)  I love the feel and how I look in my sexy lingerie, but I never get to wear it long when men are around.”  I wanted to test that theory.  She had a lot of it and I got a lot of it too!  I still smile when I think of her.  (When she invited me to her wedding, her soon-to-be husband uninvited me and reminded me that the ushers and groomsmen were his brothers and cousins.)

I always did have a way with women that other men hated.

Does all of this make Dr Tim anti-nudity?  Of course not.  I’m just saying that the clothes make the woman or man.  And hopefully we will get to make you too!

Just don’t get me started about shoes!

Advertisements

Bondage Time! (or, Excuse Me, But I’m a Bit Tied Up…)

Let’s talk about Love.

Seriously.  Love requires a great deal of Trust.  And no where is Trust so needed as when we talk about bondage.

Ties That Bind

You see, if you do not trust your partner to tie you up, love is obviously lacking.  Quite frankly, you become very vulnerable during bondage and you really do become subject to your partner’s whims.  So, if you don’t love them or trust them, DO NOT LET THEM TIE YOU UP!  I cannot emphasise that enough.  However, if you are a ruthless thrill-seeker, I can’t help you.  You will do what you want regardless of the consequences.  Good luck!

For the rest of us, check out that cool new bondage line, Black Rose, from Doc Johnson!  It is all black and purple and stuff.  Beautiful.  Sometimes I get so weary of black and red.  Purple is a very sexy color to me.  I mean, after all, when have you ever seen pastel bondage gear?  That doesn’t mean that your bondage experience has to be all dark and brooding.  Quite the opposite!  Many bondage scenes are full of smiling and laughter.  (Especially if you are into tickling!)

Besides, hemp rope leaves burn marks while chains leave nasty bruises.  And some of us have to go to the PTA meeting tomorrow.  Ribbons work very well for bondage and leave fewer marks.  And don’t forget the blindfold or gag!

Where are you?

 Blindfolds are very cool. Keeps them guessing as to where you are and what you are about to do to them. 

I can hear some of you now, ” That gag isn’t so bad.  I could still talk!”  I dare you to try it.  Edgar Bergen or Jeff Dunham you ain’t.  This is simple, effective and reduces your partner to whimpers, sighs and moaning.  And we all like those, right? 

Do you see how important Trust is now?

You cannot move, you cannot talk and you cannot see.  You never know what is coming next.

That stings!

Now the cool thing about floggers is that they can caress the skin or thump the skin.  It all depends on what your partner wishes you to experience.  For an extra sting, tie a small knot in the end of each strand.  For an evil sting, tie a small pebble or tack into the end of each strand.  Oh, the sensations.  Oh, the endorphins!

And speaking of sensations, some like to be clothed while bound and some prefer to be nude.  If you prefer bound, we have a little something extra for you.

Vibrations move me…

Yep.  Vibrating panties.  Imagine wearing those while you are bound and helpless.  The sensations never stop which may bring you to climax after climax and there is nothing you can do about it.  Gracious, how you squirm!

So those are some fun things to play with during sex.  We love playing.  And experimenting.  I know a couple that has been married for over fifty years who confided in me that while they no longer participate in any bondage games, that the experimentation brought them so much closer together.  So I guess that means that bondage can actually help your relationship.  That’s where you find out if you partner has your back and looks out for you or if they are only out for themselves.

I wonder if bondage exercises would be an important part of pre-marital counseling?

So live long, play hard and don’t be afraid to get dirty.  At Doc Johnson we do not judge anyone’s sexual preferences.  We want to provide everything you need for an exciting and fulfilling sex life.

What Did You Call Me? (or, Whiny Post, No Cheese or Crackers!))

You never think it could happen to you…

If I had known what was going to happen, I never would have gone.  But I did.

Yes, I went to the Biannual Society of Cosmetic Chemists Suppliers’ Day event at the Long Beach Convention Center.These were my peeps, my buddies, my pals.  We have stood side by side with beakers in our hands making a more beautiful tomorrow.  We had been to more disreputable clubs together and seen things that would turn a weaker man into jelly.  Yes we were held by bond stronger than most, its name is Bond, Ionic Bond.  (Chemistry joke.)

We had each other’s backs through acquisitions, lay-offs, marriages, divorces.  You never expect those folks to turn on you.

At the show I couldn’t go three feet without having someone yell, “Hey Dr Tim, over here!” or “Wait Dr Tim, I need to talk with you!” even “Dr Tim, I need your advice.”

Three hundred booths, seven hundred conversations.  It’s a good life.  If you are strong enough.

Then it happened.  One of my old buddies brought a baby chemist over to see me.  (A baby chemist is anyone with less than 25 years in the business.)  My friend said to me, “Tell this kid that the Noodle Incident* really happened.”

*Some incident names have been changed to protect the innocent.

“Of course it happened.  You were there.”

And then…

“Wow Dr Tim, Sir.  You are a Legend!  I can’t wait to tell everyone that I met you.”

WHAT????

When did that happen?  But it gets worse.  Not two rows later I get called an Icon of the Industry.  By an international group of chemists.  Apparently I am known from California to Japan.  The long way.  And the question that pesters me is “Why?”

What did I do that was so special?  Nothing comes to mind.  I have worked hard and long in my laboratory for almost 30 years.  Lost two wives and families because of my work.  Did I have a major breakthrough that helps humanity?  Doubtful.  Did I make a lot of people wealthy with my work?  Certainly.

(And speaking of my work, go buy some Official Doc Johnson toys and lubes!  The Sasha Grey Love Spit will blow your mind.  Or if the jacuzzi is your thing, try our new and improved iLube.  A cushiony silicone ride through the night.)

Did I touch people?  Probably.  I was a pizza guy once myself you know.  More people seem to remember me than I remember them.  Half of me calls BS, the other half loves the attention.

Apparently I live my life loud and proud with my freak flag unfurled, surviving and thriving in the corporate world.  I guess everyone does love the bad boy.

Am I bragging or complaining?  Not too sure yet.  Definitely a little of both.

Oh, on the lighter side, a female chemist caught me using a Star Trek reference.  She is the first one to spot it ever!  Major props.

I'm feeling it!

Dr Tim – the Man, the Icon, the Legend.  Let me help you get your freak on!  No muff too tough!  No trick too sick!

Vacation! (or Did you miss me?)

Believe it or not, I took a vacation last week.  No, really!  I was not in my laboratory for nine days.  Nine long, empty, meaningless days…

Actually I had a grand time.  It was my first vacation in four years and my third in the last twelve years.  It seems like I take a week off every four years or so.

So what did I do?  Things that would make the Marquis de Sade jump up on a chair and go “Eeek!”

Well, I’m sure that someone would.  I spent two days travelling.  It was nice to see the green fields and blue skies of the Midwest again.  You know, they have air that can be seen through almost all of the time.  Then I came home to study.

Yes you read that correctly, I came home to study.  I was buried in quantum theory, chemistry, mathematics and porn.

A person needs to stay sharp and up-to-date with the latest and greatest theories and inventions.  Who wouldn’t want to unravel the theories of time and the universe while experiencing mind-blowing orgasms?  Somehow I find that climaxing while learning brings me to an amazing brain-gasm.  Nothing like a good cum to fix things in your brain.  The universe seems to open itself up to me during sex.  (Now you understand why I call my Lady Friends, “My World, My Universe.”)

Here you thought I ignored my studies to do a lot of screwing around!  Nonsense.  As serious students, we always recited our class notes during sex.  In fact, that is the main reason people like the dirty talk in the bedroom.  Have you ever said anything naughty that your partner forgot?  Nope, they remember every last thing you said in bed and try to hold you to it.  A lot of jewelry gets sold that way.

Did you know that two people can squeeze into an orgone box?  They can!  If you can have sex in an airplane bathroom, you can make it in an orgone box!  Although that isn’t the point.  One of these days I promise that I will write a blog about Wilhelm Reich.  His work is fascinating.

Back to my vacation!  Out of nine, I had seven days of Science, Sex and Ice Cream.  Hmm, Seven of Nine does make me think about Science, Sex and Ice Cream, although not in that exact order.

However, serious study needs a serious study group.  How fortunate that I know such a group who could really help me concentrate on my studies.  Anything that could happen, did happen!  There were tons of official Doc Johnson toys and lubes which everyone shared to their hearts’ content.  There were strap-ons, oral sex, anal, sex, vaginal sex, armpit sex, straight, gay, trans, couples, singles and more!  Best smorgasm-borg ever!  We really got into some interesting experiments of spacial geometry and I do believe we defied the laws of physics and anatomy more than once.  How many dimensions do we occupy during orgasm?

You would have to see the film to believe it!  But until I star on a reality show, you will probably never have a chance to see it, unless someone posts clips on the internet.  Don’t be a pirate!  Buy your porn!  Somehow the idea of sex tapes going viral seems wrong to me.

So what or who did you do on your summer vacation?  Feel free to send me cards, letters, pictures or video!  Even a postcard would be nice…

Resolved! (Is it even possible for me to be better?)

Good Old Dr Tim has come to your rescue and jotted down some ideas for 2011.  Give them a shot…

Resolutions for the New Year:

1. Enjoy myself more. 

How can I enjoy myself more?  Well, as the old song says, “Masturbation can be fun!”  Really, if you are single, partnered or married a little bit of self-love is a wonderful thing.  After all, how can you direct your lover to your most sensitive erogenous zones if you don’t know where they are located?  Let your hands roam your body, do it in front of the mirror, with your eyes closed however you like, but leave no inch of skin untouched.  Discover what a light touch vs a heavy touch does for you.  Ah, the things you will discover!  While you are at it, get a nude full body massage.  Personally, my favorite bits of a full body massage are my head and my feet.  Who knew?

2. Enjoy others more.

Take the time to pay very close attention to your partner and loved ones.  Just like you, there are probably things they would enjoy if they knew about them.  Give them a slow sensuous massage and see where it leads.  Pay attention to those out-of-the-way spots and build up the sensations.  Tease, tease, tease, tease some more, then taste.  Unbelievable!  They go nuts!

3. Try new things.

Buy lots and lots of sex toys sold by Doc Johnson!  Do it!  (Remember?  I work there.  ‘Nuff said.)  I have it on excellent authority that the Pocket Rocket is magic!  (I use one too…)

Seriously, try new things.  Share a book, video, sex toy catalog (hint, hint) with your lover.  Talk openly and as honestly as possible about new adventures.  Back door?  Yours or hers? Check out my archives.  There is an excellent article about strap-ons (https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/08/29/strap-it-on/), anal sex (https://quantumcogitation.com/2010/04/30/interesting-question-caution-naughtiness-ahead/), the clitoris (https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/10/15/the-amazing-clitoris/), premature ejaculation (https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/12/22/premature-ejaculation-what-too-soon/) and more!

4. Open yourself to love and forgiveness.

And start with yourself.  Nobody is rougher on me than I am.  My dear, dear friend Taylor opened my eyes though.  Once I forgave myself for my shortcomings and began to like myself better, well everything changed.  My eating habits got better, I slept better, I exercise more, weight is falling off of me too.  That woman probably saved my life.  Love you!  So scoff if you like, but it really can help.  And when you are open to love, you are open for business.  A good positive vibe is very sexy and draws people into your circle.  Several of them would probably love to sleep with you too!  Saddle up!

5. Talk to someone.

It is a wonderful thing to be open up and express yourself without fear of recrimination.  Freedom never tasted so good.  You are not alone in your thoughts.  Hopefully your partners can do this with you.  If not, do you have a friend with whom you can discuss anything?  A therapist?  Or an unshockable group of warm caring folks?  (Check out my Blogroll.  One of the world’s best is there.  I’m looking at you Dr. Suzy!)

6. Summing up.

To quote a fictional character from a book, when asked to explain the universe he said, “It’s a funny old world.”

So relax, open up, enjoy yourself more and you will see that you didn’t really have to change much at all.  2011 looks like it is going to be another wild ride.  So buckle up, grab some condoms, sex toys from Doc Johnson and full speed ahead!

And if you don’t find your favorite fetish discussed or have a question, write to me!  We can also go into greater detail about older posts.  I’ll answer your question and will probably dedicate a post to it.  My email address is: drtim@quantumcogitation.com

Naughty, Nice? (Or Nicely Naughty?)

I was out shopping the other day and Santa said to me, “What do want for Christmas?  Ho, ho, ho!”

I replied, “That will do nicely.”

Which brings me to the point.  Some folks think that you shouldn’t have sex around Christmas!  Can you believe that?

Let’s see if we can figure out why, so pull up your psychiatric armchairs and let’s go!

As children, we are told that masturbation is naughty.  Good boys and girls don’t do that.  The Bible commands us not to spill our seed on the ground.  (Which is fine by me since I have cashmere sweat socks.  Someday I will tell you their names.)  And so we become ashamed of our sexuality.  We hide it and keep our most precious identity hidden from the our family, friends and the world.  Our guilt grows with each stolen orgasm and we swear that we will never do it again.  Even though we know that we will.  And the guilt cycle continues.

We are also told that Santa does not bring presents to naughty children.  Well, that did it for me!  I was as pure as I possibly could be throughout December and my dirty laundry grew exponentially in January.  And I was ashamed.  Started doing my own laundry so Mom wouldn’t discover my secret and be disappointed in me.  Couldn’t bear even the thought of that.

But then I grew older, I went to college and began a journey, the stuff of which legends are made, into sexuality.  (Buy the films like everyone else.  They are out there on the internet somewhere.)  Turns out that sex can be even more fun is you have a partner or two!  But still, there was a certain hesitancy about sex in December.

Being a bright young lad, I appealed to reason.  “Look, there is four feet of snow outside. It is cold and we would be most warm and cozy if we both got into this pair of long underwear.”   Success was achieved.  I smile when I see long underwear ads and people wonder why. 

“But Baby, the wind chill is -70 F so you know your parents won’t be coming to your apartment.”  Success again.  Now you know why I love the cold.

“Don’t worry Darling, I will pick all of the pine needles out of your butt with my teeth.”  I really love the holidays!  The smell of a Christmas tree brings back so many memories.

“We will be the ony ones at the party with our clothes on.”  Have I mentioned how much I miss college?  This was back when the worst STD you could get would be cured by a dose or two of penicillin.  Those were the days.  Get in where you fit in!

“Your love is truly an amazing gift of which I am unworthy.  Please let me unwrap it and show you how I feel.”  Yeah, I didn’t feel so good about myself after that one, but I was young, hung and full of bull crap.

However, at my advanced age, the true meaning of Christmas sex becomes clear.  Unbridled, uninhibited sex brings two or more people to a state of pure being.  You are at your true identity during sex.  All masks, games, petty squabbles fall to the wayside and the one, two or more of you become a glowing bright blue spark of pure human essence.  Even if you are role playing, having angry sex, employing one or more of your official Doc Johnson sex toys there is an orgasmic moment when you are purely you.  And in my mind, that glow of humanity, stripped of pretense, is pleasing to G-d’s eye.  Holy and truthful we stand naked before Him, unashamed.

Man that’s a beautiful thing. 

It’s either that or if we don’t have sex, there will be fewer children and Santa will be way overstocked with toys.

Take your pick.  Have a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and the most awesome of New Years.

Major Turn-ons (Not for Everyone…)

Today’s Early Morning Question:  Dr Tim, what is your number one, mind-shattering, earth-moving major turn-on?

Since it was barely 6:30 this morning, my first response was, “Breakfast?”  After all, isn’t that something a man yearns for every single day of his life?

My answer was deemed unsatisfactory.  Imagine that.  Now imagine Dr Tim imagining that.  Now imagine Dr Tim imaging that while wearing a speedo and furry boa.  (I’m in your head forever now…)

Turn-ons.  The magic fetish that sends your libido into overdrive.  Yes, a turn-on is considered a fetish.  And although the word ‘fetish” has been co-opted by television and the movies to mean “hot babe in leather” it is a much more complex than that.  (Do not stop sending me those pictures of hot babes in leather though.  I’m writing a paper, yeah that’s it!)  Even the media is beginning to loosen up.  I was watching “Attack of the Show” recently and have been enjoying the WTF segment.  They have shown America several interesting fetishes that may shock, amuse or bore you.

Lipstick fetish – the application of multiple layers of lip color.  Sometimes garish, mostly elegant.  This appears to be a more specific version of a make-up fetish stemming from young folks watch their Mother go through their make-up ritual every day.  It truly is amazing to watch the transformation.  The art, the precision, the glamour.  Really, I could watch and watch unless we are late for our reservations.

Vacuum beds – where a person is put into a giant latex bag and all of the air is removed leaving the person immobilized and helpless.  Now there is some hot sweaty fun.  The two hosts took turns in the bag and their reactions were priceless.  The fact that this was being performed by a hot babe in fetish gear did not hurt.  It helped build the scene.

Ear Cleaning – this may have been a spoof, but how good does it feel to use that cotton-tipped stick in your ear?  Uh-huh, thought so.  I never thought about taking it further, but it looks like it works!

So a fetish can really be anything that gets you going.  Shoes, stockings, army boots and kick to the nads, whatever.  I have a lady friend that loves to clean house.  It gets her warmed up and then she rides the vibration of the vacuum cleaner to climax.  Hey, I don’t judge and my place gets a thorough cleaning to boot!

Whatever puts you in motion is fine.  Just make sure that all the players are on board and nobody is made to do something they don’t want to do.  (By force or guilt.)  If your fetish concerns non-consenting partners, please get help.  You may have some issues and that just isn’t healthy.

Oh, my major turn-on?  I may be showing my age, but my biggest turn-on is intimacy.  Yep, having that special someone who knows everything about you and sleeps with you anyway!  It goes both ways and that is very exciting for me.

Have fun, play safe and keep those cards, letters, pictures and videos coming in!

Previous Older Entries