Women or, I love you, stay healthy!

I’m baaack!

Today is February 3rd, or Wear Red Day promoting heart health for women.  Serious stuff!  Now you can skip my rambling and go to http://www.fda.gov/ForConsumers/ByAudience/ForWomen/WomensHealthTopics/ucm117974.htm and check it out for yourself.

For your convenience, you can find the information in 18 different languages here: http://www.fda.gov/ForConsumers/ByAudience/ForWomen/FreePublications/ucm126287.htm

There are four basic tenets:

  1. Eat a heart healthy diet.  Basically low salt/sodium, limit trans fats and cut back on sugar.  Stuff we all know how to do, but rarely practice.  (Guilty!)
  2. Manage your health conditions.  If you have high cholesterol, blood pressure, diabetic problems.  Get on the wagon and take care of them.  These can lead to heart problems.  Take your medications and follow your doctor’s advice.
  3. Get the facts about aspirin.  Taking a daily aspirin for preventing heart attacks and strokes is not right for everyone.  So talk to your doctor.  That way you can dial in the appropriate dosage, etc.  And remember to remind them of any other medications you are taking.  I know your doctor should know, but we cannot remember everything all the time.
  4. Know the signs of a heart attack.  Men and women can have different symptoms, so be sure you go over the links I posted above.  Also, check out this video that Elizabeth Banks did a few years ago.  She had a heart attack in real life.  https://youtu.be/t7wmPWTnDbE

Fine.  That’s under your chest.  Now let’s go downstairs.  (I am great at foreplay!)

Pelvic Inflammatory Disease: An estimated 2.5 million women have an often symptomless infection of the urinary tract that can lead to infertility and lasting abdominal pain.  The infection can be cured however, if left untreated long enough, the physical damage may be permanent.  PID is a complication of a previous sexually transmitted disease or STD.  https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/66/wr/mm6603a3.htm

Yes, we are talking about everybody’s friends chlamydia and gonorrhea.  Around 1.5 million cases of chlamydia and 400,000 cases of gonorrhea were reported in 2015.  That’s reported, and we know that not everyone reports their health situations.  Here’s the thing: these diseases often do not show symptoms and can go undiagnosed and untreated.  Now if that leads to PID:

“Pelvic inflammatory disease symptoms may include persistent abdominal pain, fever, abnormal vaginal discharge, or pain or bleeding during sexual intercourse.  PID poses long-term hazards such as infertility, chronic pelvic pain and ectopic pregnancy. Ectopic pregnancies occur when an embryo implants in the fallopian tube instead of the uterus.

No single test can diagnose PID, so doctors often rely on symptom reporting. But PID often doesn’t cause symptoms. “That’s one of the scariest things because you may not know it’s even happening,” she said.”  https://medlineplus.gov/news/fullstory_163399.html

Your background doesn’t matter.  If you are sexually active, get tested every year or as often as your insurance will pay for it.  (Adult actors test every month!)  Because the more active you are with different partners, the bigger your risk.  Make sure that use condoms or other barrier protections.  It is a rough world out there.

So that was a very romantic and sexy return for Quantum Cogitation.  But ladies, take care of yourselves.  You cannot make a difference if you are not around.  Plus, I still think I have a shot with you!  Are you a beaver?  Cuz, Dam!

I will be back more often so please keep sending those cards, letters, photos and videos coming.

 

 

Have a Cup of Joe (or, Literally, Have Cup of Joe!)

Today’s missive from the bedroom comes to us from the University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston.

Their study discovered that men who consume more caffeine have a lower risk of erectile dysfunction.  It worked for obese, overweight and hypertensive men too.  (Except diabetics, they are fucked!)

Here you go, check it out: http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0123547

The US Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee’s position is that drinking 3-5 cups of coffee per day reduces the risk of type-2 diabetes and heart disease.  Those are two of the biggest baddies related to your not being able to perform.

So how much java do we need?  (Programmers need not reply.)  The magic number to reduce the possibility of impotence is 2-3 cups per day.  Now they did take all the normal sources of caffeine into account including coffee, tea, soda and even sports drinks.  No mention of energy drinks though, must have been an oversight.  Here are how the numbers break down:

Control Group – 0-7 mg of caffeine daily

Moderate Drinkers – 85-170 mg – 42% less chance of erectile dysfunction

Heavy Drinkers – 171-303 mg – 39% less chance of erectile dysfunction

Bear in mind that a good cup of coffee (K-Cup) has about 120 mg in 8 fluid ounces.  If you want to check lots of stuff about caffeine, go to one of my favorite websites http://www.caffeineinformer.com/

It will fill you in on the amount of caffeine in food and drinks, but best of all, click on the tab for caffeine calculator.  You type in your favorite drink, your weight and it will tell you how much you can safely drink (based of caffeine content) and also give you the amount you would have to consume for the caffeine to kill you!  Loads of laughs.

Here is how they think it works: The caffeine relaxes certain muscles and arteries in the penis which enhances your ability to have an erection by increasing blood flow.  So when you are clubbing, throw back some shots of espresso.  You’ll be sober, hard and ready for action.

Benefits are three-fold;

You have an excuse to drink up!  It’s not that you want the caffeine, you’re doing it for her!

You become a marathon sled dog!  No more one and done for you.

You probably won’t fall asleep right after coitus.  That may not be a benefit, but it works for her.

Since you’re up, you might as well use some great Doc Johnson products.  The two of you will need to lay in a stock of lubricant, strokers and dildos.  Good for those long session either together or by yourself.  And do we have some cool stuff for you.

That's the big one too!

That’s the big one too!

0271_02_BU5542_06_BU_D1

Vicky Vette - Sweet Lady - D*mn hot fuck!

Vicky Vette – Sweet Lady – D*mn hot fuck!

So grab a cup o’Joe and he will probably give you cup-full!

Millenials Falling Behind (or, Try Harder D*mmit!)

I didn’t want to say “I told you so,” but…

I told you so.  A study out of San Diego State University tells us that Millenials have fewer life-time sexual partners than either the Gen-Xers or the Baby Boomers.  In fact, Gen-X can’t keep up with the Boomers.

Lead author, Jean Twenge, says that there is a huge shift going on in sexual attitudes and behaviors.  This study looked at almost 57,000 people so here is the break-down:

Years Born            Classification                       Average # of sexual partners in a lifetime

1900-1927             Greatest Generation           3

1928-1945              Silent Generation               5

1946-1964              Baby Boomers                    12

1965-1980              Generation X                      10

1980-2004             Millenials                            8

2005-2015             Homeland Generation (designated by the White House https://www.whitehouse.gov/sites/default/files/docs/millennials_report.pdf)

Now I cannot vouch for those statistics.  I am a Boomer and twelve?  That was my first week in college!  But then old Dr Tim has always been a caring, sharing free love kinda guy.

Things to account for the lower number of sexual partners lists such things as HIV, AIDS and utilizing Friends with Benefits rather than going home with strangers.  (In my day, sex was how you made friends.)

On the other hand, the study says that the younger generations, while not getting as much as Moms and Pops, are more tolerant and accepting of premarital sex and same-sex relationships.  The percentage of people who said that premarital sex “was not wrong at all” rose from 13% in 1990 to 58% in 2012.  Likewise same-sex relationships rose in approval from 13% to 44%.  Women tended to be more tolerant of homosexuality, but more conservative about premarital sex.  Guess how the men responded…

We’ve come a long way baby, but we still have a long way to go.

You can read the whole article in the May 5 issue of the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior.  (Source: Jean Twenge, Ph.D., professor of psychology, San Diego State University; May 5, 2015, Archives of Sexual Behavior)

Doc Johnson – We have the toys and body glides for every generation.  You need ’em, we got ’em.  And we never judge.  (We just want to hold the camcorder.)   How you handle your sex life is your business and our pleasure.  Or rather, your pleasure and our business.

We don’t even mind if you hipsters only use our products ironically.

Annie Sprinkle and Me

I follow Annie Sprinkle.  No, not in my car or behind the bushes, but I count her a Facebook friend.

Annie helps keep me in touch with folks I have drifted away from during the years.  Not for any reason other than I am a rebel Dottie.  A loner.

But this is important.  Here are Annie’s words:

http://www.gofundme.com/6258ro

“Yesterday we launched an online fundraiser for fetish fashion pioneer Mistress Antoinette. Happy to report that $730 has come in for her!!! She’s elated and feeling the love. This has really lifted her spirits. Every single donation warms her and our hearts. Helping those in need with micro-donations is the zeitgeist and available to all of us, when times are tough. So beautiful. Any donation, even if $5. or donating by posting the link to your networks, is so nice. You get good karma points and nice body chemistry. Giving creates endorphins, serotonin and that yummy stuff. So make yourself feel good now! Give just a few bucks and post this link! And self pleasure! I’m feeling so good from writing this. Happy dancing.”

Bless you Ms Sprinkle.  Here is a link to her site: http://anniesprinkle.org/

Remember: If we aren’t there for each other, there will be no one there for us.

Bite it, Suck it, Nibble on it…

Christmas is past,

New Year’s Day it ain’t.

These few lousy days,

Are just this year’s taint…

Real Men Do Cry (Part II)

It has been a year since I posted this: https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/09/11/real-men-do-cry-never-forget/

What have you done since then?

Have you volunteered anywhere, made a donation, been a positive force in the world?  Have you gone out of your way to help anyone?

It is never too late.  Here are some resources for you:

http://www.911memorial.org/

http://www.911day.org/

http://911digitalarchive.org/

Do you remember?  I do.  There is a lot of pain in our world.  People everywhere need help.  Real help.  It is a never-ending battle for humanity.  Yet some would rather hurt others instead of helping them.  I don’t understand that.

What are you going to do today to make a difference?  And why don’t you do it every day?

Time to not just talk the talk and actually start walking the walk.

I’ll talk to you later.  Right now it is time to do some good…

Happy New Year! (Or, Where are my pants?)

For better or for worse, we made it through another one.

Someone asked me to describe, in one word each, what I wanted to forget from 2011 and what I look forward to in 2012.

My answers were “Nothing” and “Everything.”

Sure 2011 wasn’t an easy run down the bunny slope.  Often I felt like a beginner on a triple black track.  It certainly had its rough spots.

Oh and there was no end to the challenges both personal and professional either!  But as one of my favorite quotations says, “Argue your limitations and sure enough, they are yours.”

As 2011 slowly slips from our memories, let us hope that the lessons learned stick with us a while longer.  2012 should be quite the challenge.

Buckle up its going to be a bumpy ride.

(Oh, I did eventually find my pants.  They were on a wonderful lady and while peeling them off her, well technically I don’t need my pants until Tuesday…)

2012 - The Magic Is Waiting For Us!

Yes, this sort of thing happens in my lab all the time.  Not scary once you get used to it.  We’ll look at new year resolutions later in the week.

Ho, Ho, Ho (or What Dr Tim wants for Christmas)

Many people ask me questions.

You wouldn’t believe the things they ask of me.  Well, some of you would.  If you are a regular reader of this blog, well you are probably almost as unshockable as me.  I can be surprised, but not easily shocked.

Some people actually remember me back in my younger days, before home computers, cell phones or pocket calculators.  Yes, Dr Tim still has a slide rule and knows how to use it!

So these folks say, “Dr Tim, you used to be a funny guy.  Did you ever do celebrity impressions?”

I have one.  Only one and I only perform it in December.  But for all of you who asked, actually, nobody asked.  But they shouldn’t have to ask!  I am just that kind of guy.

You don’t have to thank me, but you do have to click on the link below:

http://youtu.be/X3az_q4WFI0

Don’t forget to tip your waitresses!  (But be careful, you have to pay them when they get back up…)

World AIDS Day 2011

Let’s get real folks.  There is a serious pandemic going on in the world called HIV/AIDS.

HIV – Human Immunodeficiency Virus

AIDS – Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (the final stage of HIV)

HIV is a virus that attacks your immune system making you unable to fight off infections or even cancer.

It was first coming to light when I was in college some 30+ years ago.  Back then it was called the “Gay Cancer” because what little we knew was that you could only get it if you were gay, an intravenous drug user or Haitian.  We didn’t know.  We were young, stupid and foolish.  Nobody really knew what was happening or why.

HIV/AIDS was officially recognized in 1981.  Since then the World Health Organization has estimated that it has killed over 25 million people world-wide.  That number is probably low.

It is the sixth leading cause of death among people ranging from 25-44 in the United States.  It was number one in 1995.

Right now there are an estimated 33 million people living with HIV.  Over two million of those are children under the age of 15.

Chances are that you know and love someone who has HIV.  No need to wear a Hazmat suit.  You cannot get HIV/AIDS by shaking hands, hugging, touching something that an infected person has touched or anything foolish like that.  And no one is safe!  It affects men, women, straight, gay, bi, black, white, asian, hispanic, everyone.  Africa is being decimated.  It is estimated that Africa accounts for 72% of all HIV/AIDS cases in the world.

I’m going to give you some links that Dr Tim trusts and believes in to give you reliable information.  Check them out.

http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/default.htm

http://www.aids.org/

http://www.aids.gov/

http://www.aids.gov/world-aids-day/

http://www.webmd.com/hiv-aids/default.htm

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000594.htm

http://promotions.usa.gov/worldaidsday.html  (brochure about HIV & Women.  click the link to read the brochure, the information is only if you are ordering copies)

Now there are many graphic photos which I could add to this post, but I don’t think I will.  Take it from Dr Tim, AIDS is a very unpleasant, painful, ugly way to die.  I have been with friends as they died from AIDS.  I have interfaced between widowed lovers and families.  I have cleaned out their homes.  I have been yelled at, physically attacked and abused by those left behind with their grief.  No, this is not a good way to die.

Wearing a red ribbon is not a proclamation that I am against HIV/AIDS.  Everyone is against disease.  I do not wear one to make you think I am better than you.  That is a waste of time.

I wear a red ribbon so that those who are suffering can see it and know they have a friend, that they can come to me for help and that I will do anything I can to help ease their suffering.

We have lost friends, family, athletes, movie stars, musicians and so many more to this disease.

I’ve said it before, but please be careful and treat your life with respect.  I do not want to lose any more of you.

What Did You Call Me? (or, Whiny Post, No Cheese or Crackers!))

You never think it could happen to you…

If I had known what was going to happen, I never would have gone.  But I did.

Yes, I went to the Biannual Society of Cosmetic Chemists Suppliers’ Day event at the Long Beach Convention Center.These were my peeps, my buddies, my pals.  We have stood side by side with beakers in our hands making a more beautiful tomorrow.  We had been to more disreputable clubs together and seen things that would turn a weaker man into jelly.  Yes we were held by bond stronger than most, its name is Bond, Ionic Bond.  (Chemistry joke.)

We had each other’s backs through acquisitions, lay-offs, marriages, divorces.  You never expect those folks to turn on you.

At the show I couldn’t go three feet without having someone yell, “Hey Dr Tim, over here!” or “Wait Dr Tim, I need to talk with you!” even “Dr Tim, I need your advice.”

Three hundred booths, seven hundred conversations.  It’s a good life.  If you are strong enough.

Then it happened.  One of my old buddies brought a baby chemist over to see me.  (A baby chemist is anyone with less than 25 years in the business.)  My friend said to me, “Tell this kid that the Noodle Incident* really happened.”

*Some incident names have been changed to protect the innocent.

“Of course it happened.  You were there.”

And then…

“Wow Dr Tim, Sir.  You are a Legend!  I can’t wait to tell everyone that I met you.”

WHAT????

When did that happen?  But it gets worse.  Not two rows later I get called an Icon of the Industry.  By an international group of chemists.  Apparently I am known from California to Japan.  The long way.  And the question that pesters me is “Why?”

What did I do that was so special?  Nothing comes to mind.  I have worked hard and long in my laboratory for almost 30 years.  Lost two wives and families because of my work.  Did I have a major breakthrough that helps humanity?  Doubtful.  Did I make a lot of people wealthy with my work?  Certainly.

(And speaking of my work, go buy some Official Doc Johnson toys and lubes!  The Sasha Grey Love Spit will blow your mind.  Or if the jacuzzi is your thing, try our new and improved iLube.  A cushiony silicone ride through the night.)

Did I touch people?  Probably.  I was a pizza guy once myself you know.  More people seem to remember me than I remember them.  Half of me calls BS, the other half loves the attention.

Apparently I live my life loud and proud with my freak flag unfurled, surviving and thriving in the corporate world.  I guess everyone does love the bad boy.

Am I bragging or complaining?  Not too sure yet.  Definitely a little of both.

Oh, on the lighter side, a female chemist caught me using a Star Trek reference.  She is the first one to spot it ever!  Major props.

I'm feeling it!

Dr Tim – the Man, the Icon, the Legend.  Let me help you get your freak on!  No muff too tough!  No trick too sick!

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