Quantum Cogitation

You never think it could happen to you…

If I had known what was going to happen, I never would have gone.  But I did.

Yes, I went to the Biannual Society of Cosmetic Chemists Suppliers’ Day event at the Long Beach Convention Center.These were my peeps, my buddies, my pals.  We have stood side by side with beakers in our hands making a more beautiful tomorrow.  We had been to more disreputable clubs together and seen things that would turn a weaker man into jelly.  Yes we were held by bond stronger than most, its name is Bond, Ionic Bond.  (Chemistry joke.)

We had each other’s backs through acquisitions, lay-offs, marriages, divorces.  You never expect those folks to turn on you.

At the show I couldn’t go three feet without having someone yell, “Hey Dr Tim, over here!” or “Wait Dr Tim, I need to talk with you!” even “Dr Tim, I need your advice.”

Three hundred booths, seven hundred conversations.  It’s a good life.  If you are strong enough.

Then it happened.  One of my old buddies brought a baby chemist over to see me.  (A baby chemist is anyone with less than 25 years in the business.)  My friend said to me, “Tell this kid that the Noodle Incident* really happened.”

*Some incident names have been changed to protect the innocent.

“Of course it happened.  You were there.”

And then…

“Wow Dr Tim, Sir.  You are a Legend!  I can’t wait to tell everyone that I met you.”

WHAT????

When did that happen?  But it gets worse.  Not two rows later I get called an Icon of the Industry.  By an international group of chemists.  Apparently I am known from California to Japan.  The long way.  And the question that pesters me is “Why?”

What did I do that was so special?  Nothing comes to mind.  I have worked hard and long in my laboratory for almost 30 years.  Lost two wives and families because of my work.  Did I have a major breakthrough that helps humanity?  Doubtful.  Did I make a lot of people wealthy with my work?  Certainly.

(And speaking of my work, go buy some Official Doc Johnson toys and lubes!  The Sasha Grey Love Spit will blow your mind.  Or if the jacuzzi is your thing, try our new and improved iLube.  A cushiony silicone ride through the night.)

Did I touch people?  Probably.  I was a pizza guy once myself you know.  More people seem to remember me than I remember them.  Half of me calls BS, the other half loves the attention.

Apparently I live my life loud and proud with my freak flag unfurled, surviving and thriving in the corporate world.  I guess everyone does love the bad boy.

Am I bragging or complaining?  Not too sure yet.  Definitely a little of both.

Oh, on the lighter side, a female chemist caught me using a Star Trek reference.  She is the first one to spot it ever!  Major props.

I'm feeling it!

Dr Tim – the Man, the Icon, the Legend.  Let me help you get your freak on!  No muff too tough!  No trick too sick!