05 Aug 2016
by Mystertim
in Adult Performers, Anal Sex, ANME, Butt Sex, cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Men, Oral Sex, Orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Safe Sex, sex toys, sexuality, Vibrators
Tags: dildo, Female Sexuality, fetish, GameLink, gay, Male Sexuality, Motley Crew, Motorhead, Personal Lubricants, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, vibrator
OK, so I am a bit late. Spent way too much time and money at the Annual Newberry Library Book Fair. (http://www.newberry.org/book-fair-blog)
So let’s catch up. Dr Tim is now a free agent in the Sex Toy and Adult Entertainment world. That means you will see things from many different companies featured on my blog. (For transparency sake, no one is paying me or gifting me with anything yet to do my blog. It is a labor of love…)
So, ANME Summer 2016. I was able to attend the Adult Novelty Manufacturers’ Expo (http://www.anmefounders.com/) and had a wonderful time. I saw lots of new toys, saw old friends and made some new ones as well. Top that off with a free lunch and the show was nothing short of miraculous!
Here are some photo highlights:
You may recognize some of the people, but we have Gianna Michaels, Siouxsie Q, Marcelo, a wonderful lady, BUCK ANGEL(!), a picture of Kendra Lust and my dear friend Sunny! Sorry, no pictures of GameLink’s Jeff Dillionaire and other notables. It was quite the party. Here are a few of the cool toys and stuff:
WOW! Doc Johnson and Kink went in together to do some very cool stuff. You will see some of Dr Tim’s products (the Erase Spray will remove magic marker body writing quite easily), a model that shows the optimum areas for butt-paddling so as not to cause serious injury, massage candles, Motorhead and Motley crew vibrators in case you want to bang more than your heads, and app controlled sex toys that also play tunes and have unlock-able achievement levels.
So all in all, a rousing show. Hopefully I will get a Kink fucking machine to test…
16 Dec 2015
by Mystertim
in Adult Performers, Anal Sex, cosmetics, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Personal Lubricants
Tags: Doc Johnson, Kimberly Kane, Kinkly.com, Missy Martinez, Porn Stars
Have I been a busy, busy boy! Not only have I not been blogging, but I have been getting into all kinds of media mischief. Here are a few of my favorites:
Missy Martinez! Yes, I got to do a shoot with the brilliant, funny, warm and wonderful Missy Martinez (http://missymartinez.com/ and star of Fucked Ra. Pick it up at the store or online, it won’t disappoint.) Here we are with our lab coats on. We did take them off just a bit later…
I also had the privilege to work with Kimberly Kane (kanearmy.com – what can I say about this lovely lady?) for this little video goodness.
http://munchies.vice.com/videos/sex-food-edible-intimates
And if that isn’t enough, I was interviewed about a typical day which was published on Kinkly. (All the good sexy stuff was removed, something about the trampoline, velcro and six-pack of clowns didn’t make the cut.)
https://www.kinkly.com/2/12690/sex-toys/a-day-in-the-life-of-a-sex-toy-chemist
Now that Hanukkah is safely behind us and Christmas, Kwanzaa and the New Year are looming, I can get back to talking sex, science and just how good they feel together. You know, my safe word has something to do with the holidays. Everything stops when I yell “Leg Krampus!”
As you were…
11 Jun 2013
by Mystertim
in chemicals, cosmetics, Doc Johnson, Personal Lubricants, Preservatives
Tags: chemicals, cosmetics, Personal Lubricants, Preservatives
Well kids, it is that time of year again. The Scientific Commission on Consumer Safety (SCCS) has re-evaluated propylparaben and butylparaben for safety.
As you may remember, after multiple reviews of methylparaben and ethylparaben the SCCS found them to be completely safe for human use. Even taking into account exposure through several products per day.
Not bad.
So let’s get to propylparaben and butylparaben. This opinion was published on May 3, 2013. You can find the actual report here: http://ec.europa.eu/health/scientific_committees/consumer_safety/docs/sccs_o_132.pdf (Warning: legal language and science presented!)
The opinion was based on two key questions.
1. Taking into consideration recent data, does the SCCS consider that its opinions of 2010 (SCCS/1348) and 2011 (SCCS/1446) on propylparaben when it is used as preservative in cosmetics products, both intended for adults and young children, need to be updated?
2. Taking into consideration recent data, does the SCCS consider that its opinions of 2010 (SCCS/1348) and 2011 (SCCS/1446) on butylparaben when it is used as preservative in cosmetics products, both intended for adults and young children, need to be updated?
Bottom Line: No.
However, there is significant concern about difference in the toxicokinetics of parabens in the rat model used vs. humans. In fact, several member states of the EU have banned the use of propylparaben and butylparaben for use in products for children under the age of 3 years. The main areas of concern are in the nappy (diaper) area and the use of sunscreens. It is recommended that children under the age of three should be protected from the sun by physical means. Use umbrellas, hats, long-sleeved shirts, etc.
Now you may think that you did not have to do that when you were young. But way back then we had a protective ozone layer which sadly has been slowly destroyed, letting much more radiation through to us. It is a different world my friend.
So, are parabens safe? Looks that way. Effective, over 100 years of safe usage and financially prudent. There are lots of newer preservatives out there, but we do not know the effects of long-term use yet. Personally, I like parabens. But everyone is willing to take different levels of risks and Dr. Tim is doing many studies on new preservatives. I’m looking for that perfect preservative that will save the world.
After all, Doc Johnson wants all of our friends to live long and buy our products often!
Love you guys and gals!
29 Oct 2012
by Mystertim
in Anal Sex, chemicals, cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female Sexuality, Fetish, HIV, HIV/AIDS, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Safe Sex, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, dildo, Female Sexuality, fetish, Male Sexuality, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, sex toys, strap-on
Morning Troops!
It is a beautiful Monday morning out here in Southern California. I understand there may be a bit of rain Out East, but try to stay dry and warm now. You hear?
So many questions! I do believe that it is time to address a few of them and undress the askers.
Q1. Are sex toys actually useful or are they something to hide behind?
A. Sex toys are very useful. They can help folks expand their sexual repertoire, help them understand desires and assist them score some really great orgasms! Sex toys can help build the trust between couples and get single people through the night. Can you hide behind them? Well I’ve seen some pretty big toys, but none to hide behind! (By the way, Doc Johnson sells sex toys for all tastes, desires and needs. If you need a substitute cock, call the Doc!)
Q2. What about lubricants?
A. Deary, deary me! Lubricants are very helpful and fun! (remember, I make them, Doc Johnson sells them!) Lubricants help folks that want to add different flavors to their favorite partner, lubricate orifices that do not naturally lubricate themselves and are a must when inserting oversize objects or fists. I recommend that you always keep a bottle or two on hand for just such an emergency. When my son was younger, the wife and I would put it on the doorknob. Made it tough for him to turn…
Q3. Can you make semen taste like chocolate?
A. Working on it. If I do, my next blog will be sent from an as of yet undesignated island.
Q4. Do you always think about sex?
A. Well, yes. My job is thinking of ways to enhance your sexual experience. And then turn it into a real thing. Not everyone needs or wants these items, but they are incredibly important to others. Your satisfaction is my business.
Q5. WHich is better for a quickie, oral or anal sex?
A. Dr Tim does not do quickies. If you do not have a couple of hours to play, don’t start with me. However, oral sex is pretty darn good for a quickie. But then again, so is anal or even regular intercourse. There is no best or better. Only you and your partner know what will work for you. Whatever happened to a good old handie now and then?
Q6. Why are strap-ons so popular these days?
A. Beats me! I guess that more and more people are open to the pleasures derived from them. More men have discovered the pleasures of prostate massage and more women have discovered the joy of helping. Of course many same-sex couples use strap-ons as well. Is there anything a strap-on can’t do? Oh yeah, it cannot get you pregnant.
Q7. What about chemicals?
A. What about them?
Q8. Are the chemicals used in sex toys, lubricants and cosmetics bad for you?
A. From the top: Everything is a chemical. Water, air, fruit, flowers, everything. There are only so many elements that we know about in this world and they make up everything.
Q9. Phthalates or parabens ring a bell?
A. Yes. And although many phthalates have been banned around the world, science has not shown any danger from the most popular. They were banned by emotion, not science. Parabens also have a sixty year history of safe use, but they have been taken out of many products due to the public which would rather demand things than learn about them. You forgot to mention BPA. It is in every canned good you have ever purchased. Relax a little. Scientist do not want to poison, you, hurt you or kill you. If we did, who would buy our products? By the way, Doc Johnson does not use phthalates and parabens are being phased out.
Q10. How many licks does it take?
A. Ask Lil’ Kim.
Q11. You think you’re so smart! Why did you pick the Detroit Tigers in the World Series?
A. Shut up.
Well, we are out of time folks! Keep those cards, letters, emails and dirty pictures coming in!
05 Oct 2012
by Mystertim
in chemicals, cosmetics, Doc Johnson, Medical, Science
Tags: chemicals, cosmetics, responsibility, Science
I am a scientist.
For many people, “scientist” is a bad word. After all, don’t we as evil scientists try our best to destroy the planet in every movie, television show, novel, etc.?
Trust me. If we wanted the world destroyed, it would already be gone.
And I am an older scientist. One who remembers the “Good Old Days” before we were hampered with so many laws, rules and regulations. When I was a Baby Scientist, we could pretty much do whatever we wanted with impunity. Now we have governments telling us what and what cannot use when they have very little grasp of basic chemistry.
We didn’t always know what we were doing, but hey! We made penicillin, cured rabies, fought off many diseases while creating products to make life easier for you.
But that doesn’t mean everything that we can do, should be done.
Let me rephrase that. It doesn’t mean that everything we can do (and we did) should be told to the public.
CALM DOWN!
Let me give you two recent examples in the OTC/Cosmetic world.
1) It was discovered that using coral scientists created a new sunscreen. Should it have been tried? Yes. Absolutely. Should we have told the public? NO! After all, as scientists, we want to know everything about everything. That means trying stuff that would never occur to non-scientists. The world’s coral reefs are in danger. And they are a very important part of the aquatic ecosystem. I do not nor will I ever advocate the decimation of the coral reefs for the production of sunscreen. It is not necessary. That product would have to do something pretty darn impressive to make it worth risking life in the oceans.
So why did they tell us? It was an attempt to attract additional funding. Research needs money to happen. I used to work for a company on the East Coast. We had several divisions: liposomes, hyaluronic acid, biotechnology and cosmetics. I may have forgotten a few, but you get the idea. I was in charge of the OTC/Cosmetic R&D branch. The other department heads would give me grief about working in a “soft” science. They were trying to make medical breakthroughs to save humanity and I was making herbal shampoo.
My herbal shampoo was responsible for their funding. That’s right. They would never had been able to afford one fermentation tank, one HPLC or even a beaker without the sales from my products. “Soft” science indeed.
2) New anti-ageing benefits utilizing fluid from the umbilical cord! Why? Way back in the day, we used amniotic fluid in skin care. Everyone, except perhaps the French, have stopped. There is no need to exploit childbirth to obtain materials for reducing wrinkles. Plus today, any product using a chemical of human origin requires an HIV warning.
That’ll sell cosmetics!
OK, so we are all doing research and trying to advance the human condition. Is it all pretty? No. Is it all beer and skittles? Not even close. Do we still undertake personal risk? Yes. Every day. There is not one product that comes out of my lab that I would not use myself. And I test every single product we make in my lab. All of them.
You do not want to hear about the products that failed. Not every experiment is a winner. Nor should you even know about them. You want the winners. Not the runner-ups.
So things happen in labs all around the world that can be a bit hinky. We want to hear how you cured cancer and do not want to hear everything you had to go through to do it. All these experiments lead to greater knowledge.
With great knowledge comes great responsibility.
03 Nov 2011
by Mystertim
in chemicals, cosmetics, Doc Johnson, Fashion, Humanity, Psychology
Tags: chemicals, cosmetics, emotion, Psychology
You never think it could happen to you…
If I had known what was going to happen, I never would have gone. But I did.
Yes, I went to the Biannual Society of Cosmetic Chemists Suppliers’ Day event at the Long Beach Convention Center.These were my peeps, my buddies, my pals. We have stood side by side with beakers in our hands making a more beautiful tomorrow. We had been to more disreputable clubs together and seen things that would turn a weaker man into jelly. Yes we were held by bond stronger than most, its name is Bond, Ionic Bond. (Chemistry joke.)
We had each other’s backs through acquisitions, lay-offs, marriages, divorces. You never expect those folks to turn on you.
At the show I couldn’t go three feet without having someone yell, “Hey Dr Tim, over here!” or “Wait Dr Tim, I need to talk with you!” even “Dr Tim, I need your advice.”
Three hundred booths, seven hundred conversations. It’s a good life. If you are strong enough.
Then it happened. One of my old buddies brought a baby chemist over to see me. (A baby chemist is anyone with less than 25 years in the business.) My friend said to me, “Tell this kid that the Noodle Incident* really happened.”
*Some incident names have been changed to protect the innocent.
“Of course it happened. You were there.”
And then…
“Wow Dr Tim, Sir. You are a Legend! I can’t wait to tell everyone that I met you.”
WHAT????
When did that happen? But it gets worse. Not two rows later I get called an Icon of the Industry. By an international group of chemists. Apparently I am known from California to Japan. The long way. And the question that pesters me is “Why?”
What did I do that was so special? Nothing comes to mind. I have worked hard and long in my laboratory for almost 30 years. Lost two wives and families because of my work. Did I have a major breakthrough that helps humanity? Doubtful. Did I make a lot of people wealthy with my work? Certainly.
(And speaking of my work, go buy some Official Doc Johnson toys and lubes! The Sasha Grey Love Spit will blow your mind. Or if the jacuzzi is your thing, try our new and improved iLube. A cushiony silicone ride through the night.)
Did I touch people? Probably. I was a pizza guy once myself you know. More people seem to remember me than I remember them. Half of me calls BS, the other half loves the attention.
Apparently I live my life loud and proud with my freak flag unfurled, surviving and thriving in the corporate world. I guess everyone does love the bad boy.
Am I bragging or complaining? Not too sure yet. Definitely a little of both.
Oh, on the lighter side, a female chemist caught me using a Star Trek reference. She is the first one to spot it ever! Major props.
I'm feeling it!
Dr Tim – the Man, the Icon, the Legend. Let me help you get your freak on! No muff too tough! No trick too sick!
31 Oct 2011
by Mystertim
in cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Doc Johnson, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Oral Sex, Psychology
Tags: Female Sexuality, fetish, Male Sexuality, Psychology, sexuality
Happy Halloween Everyone!
Here at Doc Johnson, we look forward to things that bump in the night! And vibrate, buzz, rotate, lick, suck, well, you get the idea.
OK! Back up the tanker of Baby Oil! It's Party Time!
Now play safe tonight and be sure to stock up on your Official Doc Johnson toys and lubes. They work great at parties. After all, some us will be turning our tricks into treats…
What do you mean you didn't bring your Doc Johnson toys?
So eat Candy, eat your Honey (they both love it) and be sure to wash it down with a special protein shake. For tonight we howl!
16 Sep 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, chemicals, cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Fashion, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Medical, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Regulatory, Safe Sex, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Transexual, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, chemicals, clit, clitoris, Couples sex talk, dildo, emotion, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, gay, Lesbian, men, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, Science, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, sweet semen, Transexual, vibrator, women
Believe it or not, I took a vacation last week. No, really! I was not in my laboratory for nine days. Nine long, empty, meaningless days…
Actually I had a grand time. It was my first vacation in four years and my third in the last twelve years. It seems like I take a week off every four years or so.
So what did I do? Things that would make the Marquis de Sade jump up on a chair and go “Eeek!”
Well, I’m sure that someone would. I spent two days travelling. It was nice to see the green fields and blue skies of the Midwest again. You know, they have air that can be seen through almost all of the time. Then I came home to study.
Yes you read that correctly, I came home to study. I was buried in quantum theory, chemistry, mathematics and porn.
A person needs to stay sharp and up-to-date with the latest and greatest theories and inventions. Who wouldn’t want to unravel the theories of time and the universe while experiencing mind-blowing orgasms? Somehow I find that climaxing while learning brings me to an amazing brain-gasm. Nothing like a good cum to fix things in your brain. The universe seems to open itself up to me during sex. (Now you understand why I call my Lady Friends, “My World, My Universe.”)
Here you thought I ignored my studies to do a lot of screwing around! Nonsense. As serious students, we always recited our class notes during sex. In fact, that is the main reason people like the dirty talk in the bedroom. Have you ever said anything naughty that your partner forgot? Nope, they remember every last thing you said in bed and try to hold you to it. A lot of jewelry gets sold that way.
Did you know that two people can squeeze into an orgone box? They can! If you can have sex in an airplane bathroom, you can make it in an orgone box! Although that isn’t the point. One of these days I promise that I will write a blog about Wilhelm Reich. His work is fascinating.
Back to my vacation! Out of nine, I had seven days of Science, Sex and Ice Cream. Hmm, Seven of Nine does make me think about Science, Sex and Ice Cream, although not in that exact order.
However, serious study needs a serious study group. How fortunate that I know such a group who could really help me concentrate on my studies. Anything that could happen, did happen! There were tons of official Doc Johnson toys and lubes which everyone shared to their hearts’ content. There were strap-ons, oral sex, anal, sex, vaginal sex, armpit sex, straight, gay, trans, couples, singles and more! Best smorgasm-borg ever! We really got into some interesting experiments of spacial geometry and I do believe we defied the laws of physics and anatomy more than once. How many dimensions do we occupy during orgasm?
You would have to see the film to believe it! But until I star on a reality show, you will probably never have a chance to see it, unless someone posts clips on the internet. Don’t be a pirate! Buy your porn! Somehow the idea of sex tapes going viral seems wrong to me.
So what or who did you do on your summer vacation? Feel free to send me cards, letters, pictures or video! Even a postcard would be nice…
02 Sep 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, cosmetics, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Physiology, Psychology, Science, sexuality
Tags: cosmetics, emotion, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, men, Psychology, Science, sex, sexuality, women
Happy Friday Everyone!
I read an interesting paper (Gueguen, N. Jacob, C., Enhanced female attractiveness with use of cosmetics and male tipping behavior in restaurants, J. Cosmet. Sci., 62, 283-290) today that talks about how the use of makeup seems to increase the tips a waitress can collect.
Apparently they did a study that concludes that female waitresses that wear makeup vs. those that do not wear makeup tend to collect larger tips from male customers.
Can you say, “DUH!” I knew that you could.
But let’s take a quick look at the ramifications of the study. According to the study, this was conducted in a laboratory setting. That will upset some people since they believe that if it isn’t happening in the “real” world, that it doesn’t count. Well folks, guess what? Conducting a laboratory trail is the very first step in a field of study. Scientists that tend to rush right out into the public with an idea are usually labeled extremist or insane and often get a punch in the nose.
Next, the waitresses were instructed to act the same way whether wearing makeup or not. Again, any study that uses real people has a wild variable in it. Think of yourself or any woman you know. Do they act the same with or without makeup? Not too many that I know. So there is going to be some give and take on this facet.
During the series of experiments, the same waitress made more money when she wore makeup as opposed to the less she made when she didn’t. The only difference was the use of makeup. The service, food and actions were the same. What does that tell you?
Bottom line: Men tend to give more money to women that they find more desirable. Or attractive.
It may be sexist or it may be in our genes to provide for the most desirable mate. I can’t wait for further studies to be published.
And you thought we only stared at your boobs…
15 Jul 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, chemicals, cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Dr Susan Block, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Transexual, Vibrators, Wendy Williams
Tags: anal sex, ANME, Blowjob, clitoris, cosmetics, Couples sex talk, dildo, emotion, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, gay, Lesbian, Male Sexuality, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Premature Ejaculation, Psychology, sex, Sex toy trade show, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, vibrator, women
Well, maybe I am. Seems there were a couple shows presenting “Implements/Accessories of Personal Sexual Empowerment Strategically Designed for Human (Singular or Multiple) Ascent towards La Petite Mort.” (Sex toys to get y’all off! On your own or with friends.)
Of course, I will be covering the ANME show. That stands for the Adult Novelty Manufacturers Expo. And since Doc Johnson is one of the Founding Five, we had a ginormous booth! Yes, there are four others, but hey, this is about us.
Oh the glamour! Oh the toys! Oh the lubes! And even some most excellent eye candy was on display for everyone to enjoy. Many of my readers have not heard of this show because it is not open to the public. It is, as they say, B2B or Business to Business. Folks who sell to folks who sell to folks who sell to folks who use the products. Manufacturer to Distributor to Stores to You! Sounds complicated, but it really isn’t. Just the American Dream in action promoting Freedom of Speech, the Right to Our Own Bodies and money.
Our theme was the “School Of Doc.” We had a classroom where one could touch, feel and learn all about our very cool products. We even had video in the background!
Don't Be Late For Class!
Oh Yeah! We had candy in class. Bet you never had that before, did you? (Culinary and confectionary schools don’t count…) And guess what? We had a faculty there to show, teach and learn with you!
Nerdy but Dirty Faculty of SOD!
They may have been walking around with clipboards, but those rulers were never far away! Looks like I am going to stay after class again today. DANG! (One great thing about teachers is that they make you do it over and over until you get it right.)
But it wasn’t all fun and games. There were many serious meetings that took place. Sharks circling each other, looking for weakness, waiting to pounce and close the deal. It was tough, make no mistake!
Advanced Business Strategy in Process
The great part however, was renewing old friendships, remembering why you didn’t particularly like someone, seeing what was new and maybe getting a behind closed-door demo of some of the products. Which, I must add (lawyers insist) that those games are not business related, just friendly slap and tickle between friends. Those days of bedroom business are long gone. Yep, everything is uber-professional now. Business is business. And playtime is playtime. (They don’t call me Tim-Bone for nothing, you know.)
People just could not keep their hands off our toys.
Free-Balling!
Although that picture reminds me of my ex-wife and her female lawyer…
Needless to say, there were sights to see, things to do and people to meet. I had a very productive day meeting with some clients discussing new opportunities so that I can get my boss that new Testarossa. I’m selfless like that. Ask around.
And since I’ve learned how to add pictures to my posts. (Promise to learn how to use fewer later.) There are some other folks that should be recognised.
More Sales People:
More of the Sales Staff!
The Director of Product Development! (Everything is his fault…)
I'm not sleeping! Just listening!
And of course, the Big Boss!
He is The MAN!
So everyone will be seeing some really great new toys and lubes coming their way this fall. I’d say 99% of them will be coming from us, Doc Johnson. But then you might say I am a wee bit prejudiced.
OK, due to the news, I postponed the talk about SRS, Filet O’Penis and lubes until next week. Guys can be such fraidy-cats about some things. Me? I’m going home and making lasagna!
Note to readers in Southern California. Stock up on your Doc Johnson toys and lubes. It is going to be a long weekend, so stay home and enjoy yourself!
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