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Hi Everybody! (Hi Dr Tim!)

OK, so I am a bit late.  Spent way too much time and money at the Annual Newberry Library Book Fair.  (http://www.newberry.org/book-fair-blog)

So let’s catch up.  Dr Tim is now a free agent in the Sex Toy and Adult Entertainment world.  That means you will see things from many different companies featured on my blog.  (For transparency sake, no one is paying me or gifting me with anything yet to do my blog.  It is a labor of love…)

So, ANME Summer 2016.  I was able to attend the Adult Novelty Manufacturers’ Expo (http://www.anmefounders.com/) and had a wonderful time.  I saw lots of new toys, saw old friends and made some new ones as well.  Top that off with a free lunch and the show was nothing short of miraculous!

Here are some photo highlights:

20160717_110141 20160717_110504 20160717_111850_001 20160717_120943 20160717_131339 20160717_131751

You  may recognize some of the people, but we have Gianna Michaels, Siouxsie Q, Marcelo, a wonderful lady, BUCK ANGEL(!), a picture of Kendra Lust and my dear friend Sunny!  Sorry, no pictures of GameLink’s Jeff Dillionaire and other notables.  It was quite the party.  Here are a few of the cool toys and stuff:

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WOW!  Doc Johnson and Kink went in together to do some very cool stuff.  You will see some of Dr Tim’s products (the Erase Spray will remove magic marker body writing quite easily), a model that shows the optimum areas for butt-paddling so as not to cause serious injury, massage candles, Motorhead and Motley crew vibrators in case you want to bang more than your heads, and app controlled sex toys that also play tunes and have unlock-able achievement levels.

So all in all, a rousing show.  Hopefully I will get a Kink fucking machine to test…

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Dr. Tim in the Media (or, Look at me Ma! Top of the World!)

Have I been a busy, busy boy!  Not only have I not been blogging, but I have been getting into all kinds of media mischief.  Here are a few of my favorites:

Missy Martinez!  Yes, I got to do a shoot with the brilliant, funny, warm and wonderful Missy Martinez (http://missymartinez.com/ and star of Fucked Ra.  Pick it up at the store or online, it won’t disappoint.)  Here we are with our lab coats on.  We did take them off just a bit later…

IMG_2383 IMG_2384 IMG_2385 IMG_2387Missy and Me

I also had the privilege to work with Kimberly Kane (kanearmy.com – what can I say about this lovely lady?) for this little video goodness.

http://munchies.vice.com/videos/sex-food-edible-intimates

And if that isn’t enough, I was interviewed about a typical day which was published on Kinkly.  (All the good sexy stuff was removed, something about the trampoline, velcro and six-pack of clowns didn’t make the cut.)

https://www.kinkly.com/2/12690/sex-toys/a-day-in-the-life-of-a-sex-toy-chemist

Now that Hanukkah is safely behind us and Christmas, Kwanzaa and the New Year are looming, I can get back to talking sex, science and just how good they feel together.  You know, my safe word has something to do with the holidays.  Everything stops when I yell “Leg Krampus!”

As you were…

 

Parabens – Part IV

Well kids, it is that time of year again.  The Scientific Commission on Consumer Safety (SCCS) has re-evaluated propylparaben and butylparaben for safety.

As you may remember, after multiple reviews of methylparaben and ethylparaben the SCCS found them to be completely safe for human use.  Even taking into account exposure through several products per day.

Not bad.

So let’s get to propylparaben and butylparaben.  This opinion was published on May 3, 2013.  You can find the actual report here: http://ec.europa.eu/health/scientific_committees/consumer_safety/docs/sccs_o_132.pdf  (Warning: legal language and science presented!)

The opinion was based on two key questions.

1. Taking into consideration recent data, does the SCCS consider that its opinions of 2010 (SCCS/1348) and 2011 (SCCS/1446) on propylparaben when it is used as preservative in cosmetics products, both intended for adults and young children, need to be updated? 

2. Taking into consideration recent data, does the SCCS consider that its opinions of 2010 (SCCS/1348) and 2011 (SCCS/1446) on butylparaben when it is used as preservative in cosmetics products, both intended for adults and young children, need to be updated?

Bottom Line: No.

However, there is significant concern about difference in the toxicokinetics of parabens in the rat model used vs. humans.  In fact, several member states of the EU have banned the use of propylparaben and butylparaben for use in products for children under the age of 3 years.  The main areas of concern are in the nappy (diaper) area and the use of sunscreens.  It is recommended that children under the age of three should be protected from the sun by physical means.  Use umbrellas, hats, long-sleeved shirts, etc.

Now you may think that you did not have to do that when you were young.  But way back then we had a protective ozone layer which sadly has been slowly destroyed, letting much more radiation through to us.  It is a different world my friend.

So, are parabens safe?  Looks that way.  Effective, over 100 years of safe usage and financially prudent. There are lots of newer preservatives out there, but we do not know the effects of long-term use yet.  Personally, I like parabens.  But everyone is willing to take different levels of risks and Dr. Tim  is doing many studies on new preservatives.  I’m looking for that perfect preservative that will save the world.

After all, Doc Johnson wants all of our friends to live long and buy our products often!

Love you guys and gals!

Q&A Day! (or, Too Lazy to Summon a Topic)

Morning Troops!

It is a beautiful Monday morning out here in Southern California.  I understand there may be a bit of rain Out East, but try to stay dry and warm now.  You hear?

So many questions!  I do believe that it is time to address a few of them and undress the askers.

Q1. Are sex toys actually useful or are they something to hide behind?

A. Sex toys are very useful.  They can help folks expand their sexual repertoire, help them understand desires and assist them score some really great orgasms!  Sex toys can help build the trust between couples and get single people through the night.  Can you hide behind them?  Well I’ve seen some pretty big toys, but none to hide behind!  (By the way, Doc Johnson sells sex toys for all tastes, desires and needs.  If you need a substitute cock, call the Doc!)

Q2. What about lubricants?

A. Deary, deary me!  Lubricants are very helpful and fun!  (remember, I make them, Doc Johnson sells them!)  Lubricants help folks that want to add different flavors to their favorite partner, lubricate orifices that do not naturally lubricate themselves and are a must when inserting oversize objects or fists.  I recommend that you always keep a bottle or two on hand for just such an emergency.  When my son was younger, the wife and I would put it on the doorknob.  Made it tough for him to turn…

Q3. Can you make semen taste like chocolate?

A. Working on it.  If I do, my next blog will be sent from an as of yet undesignated island.

Q4. Do you always think about sex?

A. Well, yes.  My job is thinking of ways to enhance your sexual experience.  And then turn it into a real thing.  Not everyone needs or wants these items, but they are incredibly important to others.  Your satisfaction is my business.

Q5. WHich is better for a quickie, oral or anal sex?

A. Dr Tim does not do quickies.  If you do not have a couple of hours to play, don’t start with me.  However, oral sex is pretty darn good for a quickie.  But then again, so is anal or even regular intercourse.  There is no best or better.  Only you and your partner know what will work for you.  Whatever happened to a good old handie now and then?

Q6. Why are strap-ons so popular these days?

A. Beats me!  I guess that more and more people are open to the pleasures derived from them.  More men have discovered the pleasures of prostate massage and more women have discovered the joy of helping.  Of course many same-sex couples use strap-ons as well.  Is there anything a strap-on can’t do?  Oh yeah, it cannot get you pregnant.

Q7. What about chemicals?

A. What about them?

Q8. Are the chemicals used in sex toys, lubricants and cosmetics bad for you?

A. From the top: Everything is a chemical.  Water, air, fruit, flowers, everything.  There are only so many elements that we know about in this world and they make up everything.

Q9. Phthalates or parabens ring a bell?

A. Yes.  And although many phthalates have been banned around the world, science has not shown any danger from the most popular.  They were banned by emotion, not science.  Parabens also have a sixty year history of safe use, but they have been taken out of many products due to the public which would rather demand things than learn about them.  You forgot to mention BPA.  It is in every canned good you have ever purchased.  Relax a little.  Scientist do not want to poison, you, hurt you or kill you.  If we did, who would buy our products?  By the way, Doc Johnson does not use phthalates and parabens are being phased out.

Q10. How many licks does it take?

A. Ask Lil’ Kim.

Q11. You think you’re so smart!  Why did you pick the Detroit Tigers in the World Series?

A. Shut up.

Well, we are out of time folks!  Keep those cards, letters, emails and dirty pictures coming in!

Seriously Though (or, Not Funny or Sexy, but Important)

I am a scientist.

For many people, “scientist” is a bad word.  After all, don’t we as evil scientists try our best to destroy the planet in every movie, television show, novel, etc.?

Trust me.  If we wanted the world destroyed, it would already be gone.

And I am an older scientist.  One who remembers the “Good Old Days” before we were hampered with so many laws, rules and regulations.  When I was a Baby Scientist, we could pretty much do whatever we wanted with impunity.  Now we have governments telling us what and what cannot use when they have very little grasp of basic chemistry.

We didn’t always know what we were doing, but hey!  We made penicillin, cured rabies, fought off many diseases while creating products to make life easier for you.

But that doesn’t mean everything that we can do, should be done.

Let me rephrase that.  It doesn’t mean that everything we can do (and we did) should be told to the public.

CALM DOWN!

Let me give you two recent examples in the OTC/Cosmetic world.

1) It was discovered that using coral scientists created a new sunscreen.   Should it have been tried?  Yes.  Absolutely.  Should we have told the public?  NO!  After all, as scientists, we want to know everything about everything.  That means trying stuff that would never occur to non-scientists.  The world’s coral reefs are in danger.  And they are a very important part of the aquatic ecosystem.  I do not nor will I ever advocate the decimation of the coral reefs for the production of sunscreen.  It is not necessary.  That product would have to do something pretty darn impressive to make it worth risking life in the oceans.

So why did they tell us?  It was an attempt to attract additional funding.  Research needs money to happen.  I used to work for a company on the East Coast.  We had several divisions: liposomes, hyaluronic acid, biotechnology and cosmetics.  I may have forgotten a few, but you get the idea.  I was in charge of the OTC/Cosmetic R&D branch.  The other department heads would give me grief about working in a “soft” science.  They were trying to make medical breakthroughs to save humanity and I was making herbal shampoo.

My herbal shampoo was responsible for their funding.  That’s right.  They would never had been able to afford one fermentation tank, one HPLC or even a beaker without the sales from my products.  “Soft” science indeed.

2) New anti-ageing benefits utilizing fluid from the umbilical cord!  Why?  Way back in the day, we used amniotic fluid in skin care.  Everyone, except perhaps the French, have stopped.  There is no need to exploit childbirth to obtain materials for reducing wrinkles.  Plus today, any product using a chemical of human origin requires an HIV warning.

That’ll sell cosmetics!

OK, so we are all doing research and trying to advance the human condition.  Is it all pretty?  No.  Is it all beer and skittles?  Not even close.  Do we still undertake personal risk?  Yes.  Every day.  There is not one product that comes out of my lab that I would not use myself.  And I test every single product we make in my lab.  All of them.

You do not want to hear about the products that failed.  Not every experiment is a winner.  Nor should you even know about them.  You want the winners.  Not the runner-ups.

So things happen in labs all around the world that can be a bit hinky.  We want to hear how you cured cancer and do not want to hear everything you had to go through to do it.  All these experiments lead to greater knowledge.

With great knowledge comes great responsibility.

What Did You Call Me? (or, Whiny Post, No Cheese or Crackers!))

You never think it could happen to you…

If I had known what was going to happen, I never would have gone.  But I did.

Yes, I went to the Biannual Society of Cosmetic Chemists Suppliers’ Day event at the Long Beach Convention Center.These were my peeps, my buddies, my pals.  We have stood side by side with beakers in our hands making a more beautiful tomorrow.  We had been to more disreputable clubs together and seen things that would turn a weaker man into jelly.  Yes we were held by bond stronger than most, its name is Bond, Ionic Bond.  (Chemistry joke.)

We had each other’s backs through acquisitions, lay-offs, marriages, divorces.  You never expect those folks to turn on you.

At the show I couldn’t go three feet without having someone yell, “Hey Dr Tim, over here!” or “Wait Dr Tim, I need to talk with you!” even “Dr Tim, I need your advice.”

Three hundred booths, seven hundred conversations.  It’s a good life.  If you are strong enough.

Then it happened.  One of my old buddies brought a baby chemist over to see me.  (A baby chemist is anyone with less than 25 years in the business.)  My friend said to me, “Tell this kid that the Noodle Incident* really happened.”

*Some incident names have been changed to protect the innocent.

“Of course it happened.  You were there.”

And then…

“Wow Dr Tim, Sir.  You are a Legend!  I can’t wait to tell everyone that I met you.”

WHAT????

When did that happen?  But it gets worse.  Not two rows later I get called an Icon of the Industry.  By an international group of chemists.  Apparently I am known from California to Japan.  The long way.  And the question that pesters me is “Why?”

What did I do that was so special?  Nothing comes to mind.  I have worked hard and long in my laboratory for almost 30 years.  Lost two wives and families because of my work.  Did I have a major breakthrough that helps humanity?  Doubtful.  Did I make a lot of people wealthy with my work?  Certainly.

(And speaking of my work, go buy some Official Doc Johnson toys and lubes!  The Sasha Grey Love Spit will blow your mind.  Or if the jacuzzi is your thing, try our new and improved iLube.  A cushiony silicone ride through the night.)

Did I touch people?  Probably.  I was a pizza guy once myself you know.  More people seem to remember me than I remember them.  Half of me calls BS, the other half loves the attention.

Apparently I live my life loud and proud with my freak flag unfurled, surviving and thriving in the corporate world.  I guess everyone does love the bad boy.

Am I bragging or complaining?  Not too sure yet.  Definitely a little of both.

Oh, on the lighter side, a female chemist caught me using a Star Trek reference.  She is the first one to spot it ever!  Major props.

I'm feeling it!

Dr Tim – the Man, the Icon, the Legend.  Let me help you get your freak on!  No muff too tough!  No trick too sick!

Brains… (or, Happy Halloween!)

Happy Halloween Everyone!

Here at Doc Johnson, we look forward to things that bump in the night!  And vibrate, buzz, rotate, lick, suck, well, you get the idea.

OK! Back up the tanker of Baby Oil! It's Party Time!

Now play safe tonight and be sure to stock up on your Official Doc Johnson toys and lubes.  They work great at parties.  After all, some us will be turning our tricks into treats…

What do you mean you didn't bring your Doc Johnson toys?

So eat Candy, eat your Honey (they both love it) and be sure to wash it down with a special protein shake.  For tonight we howl!

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