01 May 2015
by Mystertim
in Adult Performers, Anal Sex, Butt Sex, Couples Sexuality, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Orgasm, Personal Lubricants, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, Couples sex talk, dildo, fellatio, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, gay, Lesbian, Male Sexuality, masturbation, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, vibrator
Greetings oh mighty tantric warriors!
Today I want to clue you in on a little secret. Doc Johnson has a radio show!
Sadly it does not star yours truly, but is instead helmed by Chad and Sunny.
You never know what will happen!
These two fun folks are the Creative Director and Head of Marketing, respectively. And they are a blast. Sweet, sexy, nasty and knowledgable. (You decide whom is which.) They talk about sex stuff, interview experts, adult stars and make some cute videos. Oh, they also take phone comments. (You can hear Dr Tim on at least one show. Hint: pubic hair…)
So, let the links begin:
http://playboyradio.com/shows/ask-the-doc/
http://www.docjohnson.com/askthedocshow
https://www.facebook.com/askthedocshow/app_190322544333196
https://soundcloud.com/ask-the-doc
http://www.podcastchart.com/podcasts/ask-the-doc
https://www.youtube.com/user/DOCJOHNSON1976/featured
https://twitter.com/askthedocshow
Check them out. They are hotter than a ten-dollar laser.
27 Jun 2014
by Mystertim
in Anal Sex, Breasts, Butt Sex, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, clitoris, dildo, fellatio, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, Male Sexuality, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on
Summertime and the living is easy!
Oh the sights, sounds and smells of summer. Scantily clothed people, moans through the screens and the sweet smell of BBQ wafting through the air. Now I know that there is a big divide between charcoal and propane users, however that is not our focus today.
We’re talking BBQ Sex! If you think about it, BBQ is quite a bit like sexual smorgasbord. It has everything for oral, anal and kink. A little back story: While working at my desk this morning my gaze wandered over to my box of Altoids. Many of you are familiar with those “curiously strong mints” and their many uses in sexual matters. Well, thinking how nice they are after having a potent lunch, I thought about BBQ. And if this has never happened to you, sorry but many has been the time when my partner and I have been enjoying grilled ribs with corn on the cob that bones have been thrown to the side, mouths rush together with searching tongues and all fun breaks loose! Nobody worries about garlic breath then, do they?
Marinades are like mental foreplay. They start by soaking things with spices and herbs in preparation of sizzling action. Mental foreplay is usually best when like marinading, it takes place overnight. That gives everyone/thing time to prepare and the hunger grows. Antici………..
Pation.
Physical foreplay is next. Start heating up your grill. So sweet when your meat slides into something firecracker hot. Remind me to send a card to my first wife, she had the hottest I ever experienced. Listen to that meat sizzle. Smells so good. Sounds so good. Can’t wait to put it in your mouth. So let’s do side dishes.
OK, this may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I knew a fine lady who could butter the corn with her tongue. Yes, instead of a knife she used her tongue covered in butter. Sometimes she would use her lips to make sure the butter was spread evenly. 😉 This works equally on all veggies. Asparagus and oh what she could do with roasted potatoes. By this time your BBQ sauce is getting hot and the meat is ready to be turned. I know you want to flip it as many times as possible, but patience grasshopper. Good BBQ takes time, go low and slow.
Time to eat! Maybe you started by tossing some salad. Love tossing salad! Even with dressing already on it. Dig in! Enjoy those grilled potatoes and corn. The ribs are so good that the meat just falls into your mouth and that sauce is bone-sucking good. Always swallow the sauce.
Feel that warmth in your belly? It’s getting good now. Maybe some fresh strawberries (Oxnard strawberries are the best!) and fresh whipped cream. Lick the cream and enjoy that firm, red berry.
Screw it! Toss the food and grab your partner! Make creative use of the BBQ tools. That spatula is great for spanking. Drive that summer experience home and head for the pool!
Amazing what happens in that pool. Right Elaine? Enjoy your summer, enjoy the outdoors and take your fine Doc Johnson sex toys and lubes with you! Oh, we don’t sell Altoids, but try these fine mints which are available at your favorite store.
14 Feb 2014
by Mystertim
in Anal Sex, Breasts, Butt Sex, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, sex toys, Valentine's Day
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, clitoris, dildo, fellatio, masturbation, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, sex toys
Ah, Valentine’s Day!
The perfect time to rekindle romance with your significant other and bask in the glories of love.
Or least do some serious snuggling since your electricity went out in the recent storm and they estimate your power won’t be back on until March.
But here in Sunny Southern California, it is all about the Love.
Love is patient, Love is kind. Love is taking it from behind. Oh come on! This is all about sex and you know it. Whether you are with the one you love, the group you love or you are just loving on yourself, someone is putting out today. Not to sound jaded, but all the signs have been there for years. Roses to show that she is rare, delicate and fragile. (You see, you bring them home like ancient men would bring home a mastodon steak or something. You are the big, strong protector with a gentle side.) Chocolate to help put you in the mood. (Remember consuming large quantities of chocolate fire up the same brain centers as the feeling of love.) Champagne because candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker! Fancy dinners out so your partner can dress up, fell sexy and notice how everyone looks at them with a hunger in their eyes. And a card because, well, not too sure why a card. You’ll have to ask Hallmark. Although it may have something to do with turning a valentine heart upside down makes it look like a sweet ass or bodacious set of boobs…
Add it all up and you guys will be feeling sexy as fuck. And that was your end goal in the first place!
Now, both of you are ready, in the mood and raring to go. Stop a moment. After everything you two have done for each other today, bed time should be special time. A special time where you are both willing to please each other and maybe do that thing they always wanted. But how?
Enter the Doctor. Doc Johnson specifically. We make all the toys, lubes and lotions you will need to make this night really stand out in your diary. Break out the vibrators, dildos and strap-ons. Use ’em on her than let her use ’em on you! That’s right. Time to go places you’ve never told anyone that you have already been. Who knows? They may like it. Or call you a sick freak of a pervert, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. But do you really want or need a partner who won’t get down and dirty with you? Besides, they probably already know but are waiting on you to make the move. And for you solo artists; we love you too! use something special as you fap to internet porn or your favorite romantic movie/book.
Note: Dr. Tim is not a sick freak of a pervert. I am delightfully uninhibited!
Check out www.docjohnson.com. You cannot buy from our site, but you can see all of the wonders we made just for you. Ask for them by name at your local adult retailer or one of the fine internet stores.
So today, remember to be tender, loving and romantic. It pays off in the end. Or your end…
21 Dec 2012
by Mystertim
in Anal Sex, ANME, Christmas, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Fetish, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, sex toys, Strap-ons, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, clit, clitoris, dildo, fellatio, fetish, Personal Lubricants, sex toys, strap-on, vibrator
Ah, the holidays!
What a wonderful time to look back, review your year and make the appropriate adjustments so that the coming year is even better. You become a better person, the type of person you had always hoped that you would be when you grew up. Kind, generous, respected and well-loved.
Time to get nostalgic about family, friends, lost or found loves. Tradition.
Speaking of tradition, WHAT DID YOU GET ME?????
Most of you were nice. Some of you were very naughty. And a few of you were nicely naughty and sent Dr Tim pictures and videos of yourselves using your fine Doc Johnson toys and lubricants! Warms my heart. Truly! No cash, but a warm fuzzy feeling like when she hasn’t shaved for a week or so.
So how was your year? Did you finally find a woman who was “all-access?” Did you find a man who wasn’t threatened by your toys or that strap-on dildo you bought?
My year was great. Here at Doc Johnson we had some very successful shows including a spectacular one at Hustler Hollywood! It was all about the Wonderland.
It was AMAZING!
Other awesome stuff happened too. Great folks getting their body parts molded, like James Deen and Vicky Vette. It was an incredibly exciting year!
And wait until you see 2013! We have new toys and new lubricants coming out that will blow your mind. And help you get blown as well.
I mean, after all, what are the holidays without a heaping dose of holiday sex?
Someone asked the other day if I had a favorite sex toy. Of course I do! It’s Debi Diamond! (A kind gentle soul who is sexy and kinky to the core. Now if I could get her and Christy Canyon at the same time…)
What better gift to give a loved one, or stranger, than a long slow blowjob or maybe some anal sex? Men and women around the globe would love to receive those presents. Many at the same time. Ever been to an out-of-control office party? Like that only everyone keeps their jobs.
And Doc Johnson is there to supply all of your sexual accessories. Your orientation doesn’t matter, we have what you need. All types of dildos, vibrators, masturbators, lubes and lotions. We help make the season bright. Or turn off the lights, we are just happy to be there with you.
So don’t be selfish this season. Give orgasms to everyone you meet. And maybe you will receive a few of your own. No matter the fetish or form, we are here for you.
And like Dr Tim always says, unless he doesn’t, “I don’t judge. I just want to hold the camcorder.”
Merry Christmas everyone! And until next year, enjoy your ho, ho, hos!
21 Sep 2012
by Mystertim
in Anal Sex, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Fashion, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, sex toys, Strap-ons, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, Couples sex talk, dildo, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, Male Sexuality, men, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology
OK. I admit it.
I love women’s clothes. There, it is out in the open now. Think what you want, but now we can move into our conversation for today.
So, what are you wearing? Oh yeah, Baby! You know what Daddy likes!
Clothing and sexuality have a close-knit relationship. (See what I did there?) The way you dress expresses the way you see yourself to others. That outfit tells us how you are feeling and what you need. Men and women get a real clue. If you have the strength to walk into a party wearing a full-length tiger-print silk sheath and high heels, you will run the show.
Let’s talk t-shirts. I love t-shirts. I especially love them when a woman is wearing one. Wearing a t-shirt lets us know that she is feeling secure. A secure woman is a sexy woman. There is this Blonde with Major Boobage with whom I have frequent meetings that knocks me out when she wears a t-shirt. I wish she didn’t wear a bra with it as well, but you can’t always get what you want. In fact, when I mentioned to her that the bra was unnecessary, she told me it was.
“I know you, Dr Tim. If I didn’t wear a bra you would just happen by with a bucket of cold water that just might accidentally spill in my direction.”
She was right. I wanted to test that theory, but she would have none of it and I would get none of it either. *SIGH*
You know what else I have a clothes fetish for? Fuzzy sweaters. Oh man, big soft boobs encased in a layer of warm, fuzzy, snuggly wonderfulness. It makes a grown man leak. Puddles, not just caused by women! Now I know what you might be thinking.
“Dr Tim! When are you going to discuss sexy lingerie?”
Just a moment. Keep your pants on. Well at least keep them on up to your knees…
There is something else I wanted to discuss about t-shirts. They can hide many fascinating experiences. Have you ever lifted up a woman’s t-shirt and found a strap-on underneath? Never saw it coming did you? Neither did I, but baby, what a ride! (By the way, Doc Johnson sells all types of strap-ons, harnesses, dildos, lubricants, just everything you would need! Buy some today!)
Another great thing about t-shirts is their flexibility! Say you were on a picnic in the woods and your lady is feeling the need for anal sex. You can twist and pull on that t-shirt while trying to stay on for 8 seconds and it will look JUST FINE when the two of you are finished! We need more clothes like this! Or after a sloppy blowjob or muff dive at home, that t-shirt can be thrown into the laundry without any fuss or muss. T-shirts – The world’s perfect clothing item?
OK, sexy lingerie. I knew a fine young lady in college with Colossal Boobage who would opine, “Dr Tim. (Actually I was just Mr Tim back then.) I love the feel and how I look in my sexy lingerie, but I never get to wear it long when men are around.” I wanted to test that theory. She had a lot of it and I got a lot of it too! I still smile when I think of her. (When she invited me to her wedding, her soon-to-be husband uninvited me and reminded me that the ushers and groomsmen were his brothers and cousins.)
I always did have a way with women that other men hated.
Does all of this make Dr Tim anti-nudity? Of course not. I’m just saying that the clothes make the woman or man. And hopefully we will get to make you too!
Just don’t get me started about shoes!
18 May 2012
by Mystertim
in Anal Sex, Couples Sexuality, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Male, Male Sexuality, Men, Oral Sex, Psychology, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Vibrators, Women
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, Couples sex talk, dildo, emotion, fellatio, Female Sexuality, gay, Lesbian, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, vibrator, women
Do you know the difference between a Slut and a Bitch?
A Slut will sleep with anyone A Bitch will sleep with anyone but me!
Let’s talk about Sluts. I love them. Seems like these days, people are into slut shaming. You know the drill, someone is doing the Walk of Shame so you start whispering behind their back, making snarky comments on social networks, checking out their naughty blogs and then sneaking off to rub one out. (Go ahead! It is still National Masturbation Month!)
Jealous much?
Sluts are very special people and need to be treated with understanding and tender loving care. They cannot help themselves, they must share their joy with everyone who has need. Sex is joy And engaging in sex completes the circuit which brings the spirit if ever so briefly as close to Heaven/Nirvana/Valhalla/Fill in the Blank as one can be while still living.
They see sex differently than most. To a Slut, sex is an open expression of love. It is fun. It is something to be shared. And they share it with just about anyone who requests it properly. Depending on the circumstances, properly may be anything from “Stroll with me beneath the moonlight and mayhap we will make a communal offering to the Great Spirit.” to “Meet me behind the dumpster!”
There was a story of a young Dali lama who was asked to cast a woman out for being a slut. She was accused of seducing men, women and all living things. When the Dali lama arrived, he found everyone waiting in line. There was no fighting, pushing or trash talk. And when he walked up to the young lady he could see that her beauty and love outshone the sun. How could he cast out someone whose only crime was that she had been created with such beauty and generosity?
Something to think about people. Much of the evil in this world would not happen if everyone was getting laid. Sluts are the great equalizer. If everyone could be open and honest about their sexual feelings. They could be acted upon and a lot of tension would disappear. Anyone could be a slut, you could be male, female, trans, whatever. There is a Slut for everyone out there.
Oral sex sluts, anal sex sluts, gay sluts, lesbian sluts, sex toy sluts, why there is a whole world of sluttery (or should I say, sluttiosity) out there for you. By the way, don’t forget to pick up your Official Doc Johnson Lubes, Toys and Stuff. Even Sluts need a break now and then.
So what about Whores?
I love them too. Everyone needs to get paid. However, there is a good chance that a Whore has lost their way in drugs, or is being forced into prostitution or is so burned out that they no longer feel the joy. This is a tough old world. However, if more Sluts came out of their closet, fewer Whores would be necessary. In fact, Sluts can put Whores out of business!
But as I said, Sluts need understanding and love. Their hearts can be very tender and to misuse their gifts is what can change a sweet slut into a bitter person. Treat your Slut kindly. And if the Slut around, please understand, their gift is too great to keep to themselves. If they are taking care of your needs, let them fly free. They will come back.
Don’t shame the slut. Worship the Slut.
16 Mar 2012
by Mystertim
in Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex
Tags: Blowjob, fellatio, fetish, orgasm, sex, sexuality, sweet semen
With all the holidays happening, my head is spinning!
However, right now we are between two very important holidays, SBJ Day and St Patrick’s Day.
What’s SBJ Day? Well, it is one of the most important dates in history. Many holidays revolve around women. Particularly, Valentine’s Day.
Valentine’s Day is all about the ladies. We woo them with chocolate, flowers, dinners, dancing, Broadway shows and most importantly, jewelry! Men give consideration for their significant others’ feelings and try to listen after they say, “Sounds like you had a rough day. Want to talk about it?”
As such, men finally decided that they need a holiday of their own. One which speaks to their inner self and needs. A day that, if all goes according to plan, leaves them happy, fulfilled and ever so appreciative of their partners.
Yes, March 14th is designated as “Steak and Blow Job Day.” See, men are just not as complicated as women. Feed us a steak, suck our dick, swallow some seed and we are yours for life. (OK, there are some guys who qualify as “Playas” but we do not count them as men.)
I’m not about to tell those of you not on the receiving end of Steak and BJ Day how to grill a steak. Put it on, turn it over, take it off. Add BBQ sauce to taste. (Hope you remembered to marinate the steak!)
But Blow Jobs. Ladies, we need to talk. How do you give a great blow job? 90% of the act is the attitude. If you obviously are not enjoying it, we are not enjoying it either. So if you do not like sucking cock, we are going to have a problem. Now some men do not care. I have never met these men. It seems that whether you are straight or gay, you want your dick sucked.
So do I. And here is how you win Dr Tim’s undying love and affection:
1. Have fun with it! Make it game, put a little captain hat on him and tell him to prepare for a tropical storm. How many licks does it take?
2. Use your tongue. There is no such thing as too much tongue. Broad flat strokes, pointed scroll work, make that hurricane tongue swirl around and around the head.
3. Actually move your head. Believe it or not, some folks think a blow job consists of putting the head in their mouth and waiting. This does not work. Slide your lips up and down the shaft. Move it from side to side. We need some motion in the ocean.
4. Please do not forget to lick our balls. We hate having dry balls and only you can save us. Pop those balls in and out of your mouth. Chase them around with your tongue. Take them both in your mouth and pull. Balls are fun. Do not be afraid of them.
5. Some may disagree with me on this one, but using your hands is not cheating! Play with my balls, tickle my taint, stroke the shaft in a twisting grip while your tongue circles the opposite way around the head. Even nipple pinching is fair game. If my cock is in your mouth, just about anything goes.
6. Except teeth. We do not like razors being run up and down out cocks. Either cover them with your lips or open your mouth wider and let your lips create a suction seal.
7. Swallow. For me, nothing makes me feel loved in bed more than someone swallowing my semen. If you are a bit squeamish, see this article: https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/06/16/to-completion-or-spitters-are-quitters/ If you still do not want to swallow, would you please let me shoot my load on your breasts? Cum-covered boobs are very attractive and won’t mess up your hair.
8. Rimming is optional.
Basically, that’s it. Not so difficult really. Of course there are thousands of permutations and combinations that you can do to surprise your loved ones. And if your man wants to know where you learned how to do what you just did, do not mention my name! I still have to hide from a husband who, when he and his wife were testing a new butt lube, heard his wife whisper, “Thanks Tim!”
Oh St Patrick’s Day. I colored my privates green. Anyone want to kiss my Blarney Stones?
14 Oct 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Safe Sex, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Transexual, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, boobs, clit, clitoris, cock, Couples sex talk, Cunnilingus, dick, dildo, emotion, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, gay, Lesbian, Male Sexuality, men, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, pussy, Science, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, Transexual, vibrator, women
“Sweetie, what are you thinking about right now?”
“Well Darling, there isn’t a game on so I am thinking about boobs.’ (Famous Last Words)
And I am, unless I am thinking about pussy or ass. Maybe about how good a blowjob would feel right now.
You are correct, Dear Readers, these are not appropriate answers when you get hit by “The Question” by your Significant Other.
In fact, this question is almost worse than the “We Need to Talk” statement. Not quite, but almost.
Now I know that all of you have well-rounded lives with great jobs, community work, charity work and being a pillar of your House of Worship whichever that may be. But guess what? We all think about boobs. Even women think about boobs! I am very pro-boob and I am not afraid to say it.
So where am I going with all of this? Everyone thinks about sex. It is in just about everyone’s top five list of obsessions. Or in my case the top two, I do love cheeseburgers.
Consider this, we all think about sex. A lot really. And that leads to uncomfortable situations. Who hasn’t been caught checking someone out? Male, female, straight, gay, lesbian, bi, trans, everyone has been busted. It could be boobs, a bulging package or the way that ass moves under that sheer sun dress. It could be a piece of jewelry or a particular shade of lipstick. Even a fragrance can take you there.
https://quantumcogitation.com/2009/12/11/always-sniffing-around-or-smell-my-fetish/
And it could take your thoughts to uninhibited states of fantasy activities. Strap-ons, anal sex, oral sex, threesome, moresome, orgies or your handy Official Doc Johnson devices and lubes. Oh, do buy lots of Official Doc Johnson toys and lubes. If it is better than Cock, it came from the Doc!
The brain is an amazing organ where your mind constructs new realities and worlds where the impossible can happen. I have this little dream where Eva Mendez comes over to bake chocolate chip cookies with me and…
That is when you get busted. Men are caught with a small smile and a growing chubby. Women stand up and everyone looks for the velcro they just heard. (Are you sitting in a puddle or are you just happy to see me?)
And most of the time, it is a fair cop. Now I just happen to have a great job where I not only to have to think about sex constantly, but I have to think about making it better or longer-lasting, or tastier. Yep. To use business-speak, I need to maximize your sensory experience during erotic interludes. In other words, Me make bouncy-bouncy more bouncy!
So yes, I think about sex a lot. Almost as much as a teenager with the exception that I know what I am doing. I hope. https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/10/15/the-amazing-clitoris/
Other times it is an unfortunate frustration. I was caught checking out a young college lady and was scolded for being a dirty old pervert. One, I am not dirty. I shower every day. Two, I am not that old. If it were true, I would have smiled and been about my business. When I am busted for silently perving, I admit it and ask how they busted me. Were they thinking the same things?
However that one time was different. The young lady in question was the daughter of an old girlfriend from college. She looked so much like her Mom did in college that it made me smile, remembering those happy days.
It isn’t always about sex. It just usually is…
So what’s on your naughty mind? Drop me a line and let me know! My email and twiiter are over there to the right somewhere.
10 Oct 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, chemicals, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Dr Susan Block, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Regulatory, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Transexual, Vibrators, Wendy Williams
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, chemicals, clit, clitoris, Couples sex talk, dildo, FDA, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, gay, Lesbian, Male Sexuality, men, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, Science, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, Transexual, vibrator, women
A post on Monday morning?
Inconceivable!
However, it has been brought to my attention that one or two of you were pulled away from your computer against your will Saturday night.
Well, you missed it. Dr Tim was on the air. A nice 30 minute interview with DerekD and Peter Dickem on “The DerekD SHow.” They are on this nifty website www.pleasureradio.fm.
So go ahead, visit the site, check out the program archives and hear what I had to say. I didn’t do much for world peace, but maybe you can get a piece from our conversation.
Big shout-out to: @pleasurefm @peterdickem @dirtyderekd @drsuzy @TsWendyWilliams
Follow them on Twitter, or if boredom is more your style, follow me on Twitter! The link is over there to the right somewhere.
Happy Monday Everyone!
16 Sep 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, chemicals, cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Fashion, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Medical, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Regulatory, Safe Sex, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Transexual, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, chemicals, clit, clitoris, Couples sex talk, dildo, emotion, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, gay, Lesbian, men, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, Science, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, sweet semen, Transexual, vibrator, women
Believe it or not, I took a vacation last week. No, really! I was not in my laboratory for nine days. Nine long, empty, meaningless days…
Actually I had a grand time. It was my first vacation in four years and my third in the last twelve years. It seems like I take a week off every four years or so.
So what did I do? Things that would make the Marquis de Sade jump up on a chair and go “Eeek!”
Well, I’m sure that someone would. I spent two days travelling. It was nice to see the green fields and blue skies of the Midwest again. You know, they have air that can be seen through almost all of the time. Then I came home to study.
Yes you read that correctly, I came home to study. I was buried in quantum theory, chemistry, mathematics and porn.
A person needs to stay sharp and up-to-date with the latest and greatest theories and inventions. Who wouldn’t want to unravel the theories of time and the universe while experiencing mind-blowing orgasms? Somehow I find that climaxing while learning brings me to an amazing brain-gasm. Nothing like a good cum to fix things in your brain. The universe seems to open itself up to me during sex. (Now you understand why I call my Lady Friends, “My World, My Universe.”)
Here you thought I ignored my studies to do a lot of screwing around! Nonsense. As serious students, we always recited our class notes during sex. In fact, that is the main reason people like the dirty talk in the bedroom. Have you ever said anything naughty that your partner forgot? Nope, they remember every last thing you said in bed and try to hold you to it. A lot of jewelry gets sold that way.
Did you know that two people can squeeze into an orgone box? They can! If you can have sex in an airplane bathroom, you can make it in an orgone box! Although that isn’t the point. One of these days I promise that I will write a blog about Wilhelm Reich. His work is fascinating.
Back to my vacation! Out of nine, I had seven days of Science, Sex and Ice Cream. Hmm, Seven of Nine does make me think about Science, Sex and Ice Cream, although not in that exact order.
However, serious study needs a serious study group. How fortunate that I know such a group who could really help me concentrate on my studies. Anything that could happen, did happen! There were tons of official Doc Johnson toys and lubes which everyone shared to their hearts’ content. There were strap-ons, oral sex, anal, sex, vaginal sex, armpit sex, straight, gay, trans, couples, singles and more! Best smorgasm-borg ever! We really got into some interesting experiments of spacial geometry and I do believe we defied the laws of physics and anatomy more than once. How many dimensions do we occupy during orgasm?
You would have to see the film to believe it! But until I star on a reality show, you will probably never have a chance to see it, unless someone posts clips on the internet. Don’t be a pirate! Buy your porn! Somehow the idea of sex tapes going viral seems wrong to me.
So what or who did you do on your summer vacation? Feel free to send me cards, letters, pictures or video! Even a postcard would be nice…
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