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Women or, I love you, stay healthy!

I’m baaack!

Today is February 3rd, or Wear Red Day promoting heart health for women.  Serious stuff!  Now you can skip my rambling and go to http://www.fda.gov/ForConsumers/ByAudience/ForWomen/WomensHealthTopics/ucm117974.htm and check it out for yourself.

For your convenience, you can find the information in 18 different languages here: http://www.fda.gov/ForConsumers/ByAudience/ForWomen/FreePublications/ucm126287.htm

There are four basic tenets:

  1. Eat a heart healthy diet.  Basically low salt/sodium, limit trans fats and cut back on sugar.  Stuff we all know how to do, but rarely practice.  (Guilty!)
  2. Manage your health conditions.  If you have high cholesterol, blood pressure, diabetic problems.  Get on the wagon and take care of them.  These can lead to heart problems.  Take your medications and follow your doctor’s advice.
  3. Get the facts about aspirin.  Taking a daily aspirin for preventing heart attacks and strokes is not right for everyone.  So talk to your doctor.  That way you can dial in the appropriate dosage, etc.  And remember to remind them of any other medications you are taking.  I know your doctor should know, but we cannot remember everything all the time.
  4. Know the signs of a heart attack.  Men and women can have different symptoms, so be sure you go over the links I posted above.  Also, check out this video that Elizabeth Banks did a few years ago.  She had a heart attack in real life.  https://youtu.be/t7wmPWTnDbE

Fine.  That’s under your chest.  Now let’s go downstairs.  (I am great at foreplay!)

Pelvic Inflammatory Disease: An estimated 2.5 million women have an often symptomless infection of the urinary tract that can lead to infertility and lasting abdominal pain.  The infection can be cured however, if left untreated long enough, the physical damage may be permanent.  PID is a complication of a previous sexually transmitted disease or STD.  https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/66/wr/mm6603a3.htm

Yes, we are talking about everybody’s friends chlamydia and gonorrhea.  Around 1.5 million cases of chlamydia and 400,000 cases of gonorrhea were reported in 2015.  That’s reported, and we know that not everyone reports their health situations.  Here’s the thing: these diseases often do not show symptoms and can go undiagnosed and untreated.  Now if that leads to PID:

“Pelvic inflammatory disease symptoms may include persistent abdominal pain, fever, abnormal vaginal discharge, or pain or bleeding during sexual intercourse.  PID poses long-term hazards such as infertility, chronic pelvic pain and ectopic pregnancy. Ectopic pregnancies occur when an embryo implants in the fallopian tube instead of the uterus.

No single test can diagnose PID, so doctors often rely on symptom reporting. But PID often doesn’t cause symptoms. “That’s one of the scariest things because you may not know it’s even happening,” she said.”  https://medlineplus.gov/news/fullstory_163399.html

Your background doesn’t matter.  If you are sexually active, get tested every year or as often as your insurance will pay for it.  (Adult actors test every month!)  Because the more active you are with different partners, the bigger your risk.  Make sure that use condoms or other barrier protections.  It is a rough world out there.

So that was a very romantic and sexy return for Quantum Cogitation.  But ladies, take care of yourselves.  You cannot make a difference if you are not around.  Plus, I still think I have a shot with you!  Are you a beaver?  Cuz, Dam!

I will be back more often so please keep sending those cards, letters, photos and videos coming.

 

 

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His and Hers (or, Put Them All Together…)

Presented for your approval: Two studies from the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

1. Exercise helps men’s sex life.

2. Sleep helps increase feminine arousal.

Let’s see by show of hands who wasn’t aware of these findings.  Only a few of you?  Good.

Men: Get off your ass and exercise.  Those with 2 or more hours of strenuous exercise, 3.5 hours of moderate exercise or 6 hours of light exercise a week more easily attained erections, stayed hard longer, had better orgasms and more frequent sexual activity.  Hmm, who would have thought that having a toned, fit body increased your sex life?

Women: Apparently each extra hour of sleep you gets may increase the likelihood of sex by 14% the next day.  A well-rested woman is a sexy woman indeed.  She feels it, you feel it and everyone gets happy.  Who knew?  I’ve been putting women to sleep in bed for years and never knew it was increasing my chances.  Guys, if she is sleeping, let her sleep!  You will probably get lucky in the morning.

But what chaps my hide is that I have to bust ass on the stair master while she gets to keep snoozing.  Next thing they’ll tell me is that beef jerky is not an aphrodisiac.  Though I find a spicy dinner puts a warmth in the lower belly that ignites the flame.

Work out, get enough sleep and eat good healthy stuff.  Do I really need to be telling you any of this?  (Oh yeah, buy stuff from Doc Johnson.  Daddy needs some Cajun alligator jerky!)

SEX! (Or, What are you looking for?)

Have you seen this article?

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/25/opinion/sunday/seth-stephens-davidowitz-searching-for-sex.html

Check it out and leave me some comments.  We will discuss…

 

Summer Surprise (or, Fashion magazines kick a**)

Is it really Labor Day already?

Seems like it was July just a second ago, and here I am home from Burning Man.  *We’ll talk about that another day.)

Fashion magazines.  Full of fashion, fluff and nonsense.  Or are they?

Sometimes there are very pleasant surprises such as an excellent article on a very serious subject for the Ladies, pelvic pain.

Please check out these links.  Hopefully they will help someone we know and love.  Could even be you!

 

http://www.elle.com/beauty/health-fitness/cure-pelvic-pain

http://www.elle.com/beauty/health-fitness/pelvic-therapy-practitioner-amy-stein-interview

http://beyondbasicspt.wordpress.com/

 

And of course, the Mighty Doc Johnson has some items to help you:

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And don’t forget the lube!

 

 

Memorial Day ( or No Jokes Today)

Thank you for your service!

Thank you for your service!

 

The Memorial Day weekend looms before us.  Great sales on cars, furniture, everything we need!  And talk about the BBQ, it is the official kick-off day to prepare that grill and cook up your favorite vegetables and meats.

Great fun really, but that is just the frosting on the day.

Memorial Day is when we remember the men and women who overcame adversity and offered theirs lives for the rest of us.  Whether you agree with the conflicts, wars or whatever you want to call them, our soldiers stood tall.

This weekend, let’s stand for them.

Enjoy your BBQ, get a great deal on something, but never forget that freedom is not free.  Not then, not now.  Hopefully someday it will, but until then, we stand ready.

G-d bless you all.

Slut Love (or, C’mon Over!)

Do you know the difference between a Slut and a Bitch?

A Slut will sleep with anyone  A Bitch will sleep with anyone but me!

Let’s talk about Sluts.  I love them.  Seems like these days, people are into slut shaming.  You know the drill, someone is doing the Walk of Shame so you start whispering behind their back, making snarky comments on social networks, checking out their naughty blogs and then sneaking off to rub one out.  (Go ahead!  It is still National Masturbation Month!)

Jealous much?

Sluts are very special people and need to be treated with understanding and tender loving care.  They cannot help themselves, they must share their joy with everyone who has need.  Sex is joy  And engaging in sex completes the circuit which brings the spirit if ever so briefly as close to Heaven/Nirvana/Valhalla/Fill in the Blank as one can be while still living.

They see sex differently than most.  To a Slut, sex is an open expression of love.  It is fun.  It is something to be shared.  And they share it with just about anyone who requests it properly.  Depending on the circumstances, properly may be anything from “Stroll with me beneath the moonlight and mayhap we will make a communal offering to the Great Spirit.” to “Meet me behind the dumpster!”

There was a story of a young Dali lama who was asked to cast a woman out for being a slut.  She was accused of seducing men, women and all living things.  When the Dali lama arrived, he found everyone waiting in line.  There was no fighting, pushing or trash talk.  And when he walked up to the young lady he could see that her beauty and love outshone the sun.  How could he cast out someone whose only crime was that she had been created with such beauty and generosity?

Something to think about people.  Much of the evil in this world would not happen if everyone was getting laid.  Sluts are the great equalizer.  If everyone could be open and honest about their sexual feelings.  They could be acted upon and a lot of tension would disappear.  Anyone could be a slut, you could be male, female, trans, whatever.  There is a Slut for everyone out there.

Oral sex sluts, anal sex sluts, gay sluts, lesbian sluts, sex toy sluts, why there is a whole world of sluttery (or should I say, sluttiosity) out there for you.  By the way, don’t forget to pick up your Official Doc Johnson Lubes, Toys and Stuff.  Even Sluts need a break now and then.

So what about Whores?

I love them too.  Everyone needs to get paid.  However, there is a good chance that a Whore has lost their way in drugs, or is being forced into prostitution or is so burned out that they no longer feel the joy.  This is a tough old world.  However, if more Sluts came out of their closet, fewer Whores would be necessary.  In fact, Sluts can put Whores out of business!

But as I said, Sluts need understanding and love.  Their hearts can be very tender and to misuse their gifts is what can change a sweet slut into a bitter person.  Treat your Slut kindly.  And if the Slut around, please understand, their gift is too great to keep to themselves.  If they are taking care of your needs, let them fly free.  They will come back.

Don’t shame the slut. Worship the Slut.

 

Ho, Ho, Ho (or What Dr Tim wants for Christmas)

Many people ask me questions.

You wouldn’t believe the things they ask of me.  Well, some of you would.  If you are a regular reader of this blog, well you are probably almost as unshockable as me.  I can be surprised, but not easily shocked.

Some people actually remember me back in my younger days, before home computers, cell phones or pocket calculators.  Yes, Dr Tim still has a slide rule and knows how to use it!

So these folks say, “Dr Tim, you used to be a funny guy.  Did you ever do celebrity impressions?”

I have one.  Only one and I only perform it in December.  But for all of you who asked, actually, nobody asked.  But they shouldn’t have to ask!  I am just that kind of guy.

You don’t have to thank me, but you do have to click on the link below:

http://youtu.be/X3az_q4WFI0

Don’t forget to tip your waitresses!  (But be careful, you have to pay them when they get back up…)

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