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Have a Cup of Joe (or, Literally, Have Cup of Joe!)

Today’s missive from the bedroom comes to us from the University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston.

Their study discovered that men who consume more caffeine have a lower risk of erectile dysfunction.  It worked for obese, overweight and hypertensive men too.  (Except diabetics, they are fucked!)

Here you go, check it out: http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0123547

The US Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee’s position is that drinking 3-5 cups of coffee per day reduces the risk of type-2 diabetes and heart disease.  Those are two of the biggest baddies related to your not being able to perform.

So how much java do we need?  (Programmers need not reply.)  The magic number to reduce the possibility of impotence is 2-3 cups per day.  Now they did take all the normal sources of caffeine into account including coffee, tea, soda and even sports drinks.  No mention of energy drinks though, must have been an oversight.  Here are how the numbers break down:

Control Group – 0-7 mg of caffeine daily

Moderate Drinkers – 85-170 mg – 42% less chance of erectile dysfunction

Heavy Drinkers – 171-303 mg – 39% less chance of erectile dysfunction

Bear in mind that a good cup of coffee (K-Cup) has about 120 mg in 8 fluid ounces.  If you want to check lots of stuff about caffeine, go to one of my favorite websites http://www.caffeineinformer.com/

It will fill you in on the amount of caffeine in food and drinks, but best of all, click on the tab for caffeine calculator.  You type in your favorite drink, your weight and it will tell you how much you can safely drink (based of caffeine content) and also give you the amount you would have to consume for the caffeine to kill you!  Loads of laughs.

Here is how they think it works: The caffeine relaxes certain muscles and arteries in the penis which enhances your ability to have an erection by increasing blood flow.  So when you are clubbing, throw back some shots of espresso.  You’ll be sober, hard and ready for action.

Benefits are three-fold;

You have an excuse to drink up!  It’s not that you want the caffeine, you’re doing it for her!

You become a marathon sled dog!  No more one and done for you.

You probably won’t fall asleep right after coitus.  That may not be a benefit, but it works for her.

Since you’re up, you might as well use some great Doc Johnson products.  The two of you will need to lay in a stock of lubricant, strokers and dildos.  Good for those long session either together or by yourself.  And do we have some cool stuff for you.

That's the big one too!

That’s the big one too!

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Vicky Vette - Sweet Lady - D*mn hot fuck!

Vicky Vette – Sweet Lady – D*mn hot fuck!

So grab a cup o’Joe and he will probably give you cup-full!

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SEX! (Or, What are you looking for?)

Have you seen this article?

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/25/opinion/sunday/seth-stephens-davidowitz-searching-for-sex.html

Check it out and leave me some comments.  We will discuss…

 

Back to Basics (Or, Get down and give me 20!)

Did you ever want to be a marathon sled dog in the sack?  Of course you did.  We all did.  There is hope.

There was a presentation of a small study at the European Congress of Urology in Stockholm recently.  Turns out that there may be something you can do in the privacy of your own home to increase your stamina in bed.  Exercise.  Yep, exercise.

In the study were 40 men, aged 19-46, with lifelong premature ejaculation.  They followed a 12 week program of exercising their floor pelvic muscles.  And guess what happened.

After the three months, the period of time to reach ejaculation increased from 32 seconds to 2.5 minutes!  That is astounding.  That gave them 4.6 times longer to enjoy lovemaking with their significant other.

Think about that for a second.  These men went from your basic “in-out-done” to a much more intimate sexual relationship.  One where there was time to gaze into eyes, call out names several times or re-weave their hair from behind.  Can you imagine the psychological impact of this?

Think of the increase in self-confidence.  That man can now enjoy his life better, improve his relationship, get a raise and be who he always thought he could be.  And that is a d*mn sexy trait in men.

You see, if someone could ease one of their biggest disappointments in life, the world opens up to him.  Now pelvic floor exercises have been used to improve incontinence in men for years.  Especially after prostate surgery.  But they had never really tried them for premature ejaculation, well, not for anyone that suffered from it for a long time.  Great stuff.

I certainly hope when they publish and can run larger studies that this will hold true.

Now Doc Johnson, amazing company that it is, cannot help you exercise.  You gotta do that on your own buddy.  However, when you are not in the gym, we can help delay your premature ejaculation as well.

 

1310_01_BU 1310_02_BU

These are what the FDA calls “Male Genital Desensitizers.”  Using benzocaine, it will decrease the amount of stimulation you feel through your penis.  That should really help you out in the interim.

Just apply to the underside of the head of your penis, wait a second or two, then proceed with your business.  I don’t care who you are sticking it to, but hopefully this will make the encounter more fun for both of you.

Here are a couple links about how you can start doing these exercises today:

http://www.webmd.com/men/pelvic-floor-kegel-exercises-for-men

http://www.askthetrainer.com/pelvic-floor-exercises-for-men/

Remember kids, stay in school and the gym!  And keep those cards, letters, naughty pictures and videos coming in!

 

See You Next Tuesday!

Cunt.

There it is, right out in front of everyone.  Now, it “cunt” a good word or a bad word?  There are examples of both.

Good: I’d call you a cunt, but you don’t have the depth or warmth.

Bad: A cunt is a life support system for a pussy.

Discuss.

 

Dr. Tim loves cunts.  I don’t care if you call them vaginas, pussies, beavers, bearded clams, hot pockets, twats or purses.  No muff too tough!  That’s my motto.

Now this doesn’t have anything to do with the topics, but spell check wanted me to change pussies to Aussies.  What the heck!  I love them too!

And for all your sexual vaginal needs, buy Doc Johnson Products.  Because we think about your pussy all day!

Memorial Day ( or No Jokes Today)

Thank you for your service!

Thank you for your service!

 

The Memorial Day weekend looms before us.  Great sales on cars, furniture, everything we need!  And talk about the BBQ, it is the official kick-off day to prepare that grill and cook up your favorite vegetables and meats.

Great fun really, but that is just the frosting on the day.

Memorial Day is when we remember the men and women who overcame adversity and offered theirs lives for the rest of us.  Whether you agree with the conflicts, wars or whatever you want to call them, our soldiers stood tall.

This weekend, let’s stand for them.

Enjoy your BBQ, get a great deal on something, but never forget that freedom is not free.  Not then, not now.  Hopefully someday it will, but until then, we stand ready.

G-d bless you all.

More is Less (or, So, What are You Wearing?)

OK.  I admit it. 

I love women’s clothes.  There, it is out in the open now.  Think what you want, but now we can move into our conversation for today.

So, what are you wearing?  Oh yeah, Baby!  You know what Daddy likes!

Clothing and sexuality have a close-knit relationship.  (See what I did there?)  The way you dress expresses the way you see yourself to others.  That outfit tells us how you are feeling and what you need.  Men and women get a real clue.  If you have the strength to walk into a party wearing a full-length tiger-print silk sheath and high heels, you will run the show.

Let’s talk t-shirts.  I love t-shirts.  I especially love them when a woman is wearing one.  Wearing a t-shirt lets us know that she is feeling secure.  A secure woman is a sexy woman.  There is this Blonde with Major Boobage with whom I have frequent meetings that knocks me out when she wears a t-shirt.  I wish she didn’t wear a bra with it as well, but you can’t always get what you want.  In fact, when I mentioned to her that the bra was unnecessary, she told me it was.

“I know you, Dr Tim.  If I didn’t wear a bra you would just happen by with a bucket of cold water that just might accidentally spill in my direction.”

She was right.  I wanted to test that theory, but she would have none of it and I would get none of it either.  *SIGH*

You know what else I have a clothes fetish for?  Fuzzy sweaters.  Oh man, big soft boobs encased in a layer of warm, fuzzy, snuggly wonderfulness.  It makes a grown man leak.  Puddles, not just caused by women!  Now I know what you might be thinking. 

“Dr Tim! When are you going to discuss sexy lingerie?”

Just a moment.  Keep your pants on.  Well at least keep them on up to your knees…

There is something else I wanted to discuss about t-shirts.  They can hide many fascinating experiences.  Have you ever lifted up a woman’s t-shirt and found a strap-on underneath?  Never saw it coming did you?  Neither did I, but baby, what a ride!  (By the way, Doc Johnson sells all types of strap-ons, harnesses, dildos, lubricants, just everything you would need!  Buy some today!)

Another great thing about t-shirts is their flexibility!  Say you were on a picnic in the woods and your lady is feeling the need for anal sex.  You can twist and pull on that t-shirt while trying to stay on for 8 seconds and it will look JUST FINE when the two of you are finished!  We need more clothes like this!  Or after a sloppy blowjob or muff dive at home, that t-shirt can be thrown into the laundry without any fuss or muss.  T-shirts – The world’s perfect clothing item?

OK, sexy lingerie.  I knew a fine young lady in college with Colossal Boobage who would opine, “Dr Tim. (Actually I was just Mr Tim back then.)  I love the feel and how I look in my sexy lingerie, but I never get to wear it long when men are around.”  I wanted to test that theory.  She had a lot of it and I got a lot of it too!  I still smile when I think of her.  (When she invited me to her wedding, her soon-to-be husband uninvited me and reminded me that the ushers and groomsmen were his brothers and cousins.)

I always did have a way with women that other men hated.

Does all of this make Dr Tim anti-nudity?  Of course not.  I’m just saying that the clothes make the woman or man.  And hopefully we will get to make you too!

Just don’t get me started about shoes!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Power Flowers!

Happy Valentine’s Day!  Remember, I love YOU and there is nothing you can do about it.

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