Advertisements

Ho, Ho, Ho (or What Dr Tim wants for Christmas)

Many people ask me questions.

You wouldn’t believe the things they ask of me.  Well, some of you would.  If you are a regular reader of this blog, well you are probably almost as unshockable as me.  I can be surprised, but not easily shocked.

Some people actually remember me back in my younger days, before home computers, cell phones or pocket calculators.  Yes, Dr Tim still has a slide rule and knows how to use it!

So these folks say, “Dr Tim, you used to be a funny guy.  Did you ever do celebrity impressions?”

I have one.  Only one and I only perform it in December.  But for all of you who asked, actually, nobody asked.  But they shouldn’t have to ask!  I am just that kind of guy.

You don’t have to thank me, but you do have to click on the link below:

http://youtu.be/X3az_q4WFI0

Don’t forget to tip your waitresses!  (But be careful, you have to pay them when they get back up…)

Advertisements

Veterans’ Day (A moment of silence please)

We tend to get wrapped up in our daily lives.  Can’t help it.  We’re only human.  Rushing here and there going to work, the store getting coffee.  Bitching about old people driving or walking slowly.  Maybe we are forgetting something.

Honor your Elders

These brave men and women gave everything they had for us.  We owe them our respect.  They earned it.

And not everyone came back.

Freedom is not free

Thank you for your service.  G-d bless the USA and those of you who keep us safe and free.

Boobs! (or, What are you thinking about right now?)

“Sweetie, what are you thinking about right now?”

“Well Darling, there isn’t a game on so I am thinking about boobs.’  (Famous Last Words)

And I am, unless I am thinking about pussy or ass.  Maybe about how good a blowjob would feel right now.

You are correct, Dear Readers, these are not appropriate answers when you get hit by “The Question” by your Significant Other.

In fact, this question is almost worse than the “We Need to Talk” statement.  Not quite, but almost.

Now I know that all of you have well-rounded lives with great jobs, community work, charity work and being a pillar of your House of Worship whichever that may be.  But guess what?  We all think about boobs.  Even women think about boobs!  I am very pro-boob and I am not afraid to say it.

So where am I going with all of this?  Everyone thinks about sex.  It is in just about everyone’s top five list of obsessions.  Or in my case the top two, I do love cheeseburgers.

Consider this, we all think about sex.  A lot really.  And that leads to uncomfortable situations.  Who hasn’t been caught checking someone out?  Male, female, straight, gay, lesbian, bi, trans, everyone has been busted.  It could be boobs, a bulging package or the way that ass moves under that sheer sun dress.  It could be a piece of jewelry or a particular shade of lipstick.  Even a fragrance can take you there.

https://quantumcogitation.com/2009/12/11/always-sniffing-around-or-smell-my-fetish/

And it could take your thoughts to uninhibited states of fantasy activities.  Strap-ons, anal sex, oral sex, threesome, moresome, orgies or your handy Official Doc Johnson devices and lubes.  Oh, do buy lots of Official Doc Johnson toys and lubes.  If it is better than Cock, it came from the Doc!

The brain is an amazing organ where your mind constructs new realities and worlds where the impossible can happen.  I have this little dream where Eva Mendez comes over to bake chocolate chip cookies with me and…

That is when you get busted.  Men are caught with a small smile and a growing chubby.  Women stand up and everyone looks for the velcro they just heard.  (Are you sitting in a puddle or are you just happy to see me?)

And most of the time, it is a fair cop.  Now I just happen to have a great job where I not only to have to think about sex constantly, but I have to think about making it better or longer-lasting, or tastier.  Yep.  To use business-speak, I need to maximize your sensory experience during erotic interludes.  In other words, Me make bouncy-bouncy more bouncy!

So yes, I think about sex a lot.  Almost as much as a teenager with the exception that I know what I am doing.  I hope.  https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/10/15/the-amazing-clitoris/

Other times it is an unfortunate frustration.  I was caught checking out a young college lady and was scolded for being a dirty old pervert.  One, I am not dirty.  I shower every day.  Two, I am not that old.  If it were true, I would have smiled and been about my business.  When I am busted for silently perving, I admit it and ask how they busted me.  Were they thinking the same things?

However that one time was different.  The young lady in question was the daughter of an old girlfriend from college.  She looked so much like her Mom did in college that it made me smile, remembering those happy days.

It isn’t always about sex.  It just usually is…

So what’s on your naughty mind?  Drop me a line and let me know!  My email and twiiter are over there to the right somewhere.

Dr Tim is On-the-Air (or Turn your radio on!)

A post on Monday morning?

Inconceivable!

However, it has been brought to my attention that one or two of you were pulled away from your computer against your will Saturday night.

Well, you missed it.  Dr Tim was on the air.  A nice 30 minute interview with DerekD and Peter Dickem on “The DerekD SHow.”  They are on this nifty website www.pleasureradio.fm.

So go ahead, visit the site, check out the program archives and hear what I had to say.  I didn’t do much for world peace, but maybe you can get a piece from our conversation.

Big shout-out to: @pleasurefm @peterdickem @dirtyderekd @drsuzy @TsWendyWilliams

Follow them on Twitter, or if boredom is more your style, follow me on Twitter!  The link is over there to the right somewhere.

Happy Monday Everyone!

Vacation! (or Did you miss me?)

Believe it or not, I took a vacation last week.  No, really!  I was not in my laboratory for nine days.  Nine long, empty, meaningless days…

Actually I had a grand time.  It was my first vacation in four years and my third in the last twelve years.  It seems like I take a week off every four years or so.

So what did I do?  Things that would make the Marquis de Sade jump up on a chair and go “Eeek!”

Well, I’m sure that someone would.  I spent two days travelling.  It was nice to see the green fields and blue skies of the Midwest again.  You know, they have air that can be seen through almost all of the time.  Then I came home to study.

Yes you read that correctly, I came home to study.  I was buried in quantum theory, chemistry, mathematics and porn.

A person needs to stay sharp and up-to-date with the latest and greatest theories and inventions.  Who wouldn’t want to unravel the theories of time and the universe while experiencing mind-blowing orgasms?  Somehow I find that climaxing while learning brings me to an amazing brain-gasm.  Nothing like a good cum to fix things in your brain.  The universe seems to open itself up to me during sex.  (Now you understand why I call my Lady Friends, “My World, My Universe.”)

Here you thought I ignored my studies to do a lot of screwing around!  Nonsense.  As serious students, we always recited our class notes during sex.  In fact, that is the main reason people like the dirty talk in the bedroom.  Have you ever said anything naughty that your partner forgot?  Nope, they remember every last thing you said in bed and try to hold you to it.  A lot of jewelry gets sold that way.

Did you know that two people can squeeze into an orgone box?  They can!  If you can have sex in an airplane bathroom, you can make it in an orgone box!  Although that isn’t the point.  One of these days I promise that I will write a blog about Wilhelm Reich.  His work is fascinating.

Back to my vacation!  Out of nine, I had seven days of Science, Sex and Ice Cream.  Hmm, Seven of Nine does make me think about Science, Sex and Ice Cream, although not in that exact order.

However, serious study needs a serious study group.  How fortunate that I know such a group who could really help me concentrate on my studies.  Anything that could happen, did happen!  There were tons of official Doc Johnson toys and lubes which everyone shared to their hearts’ content.  There were strap-ons, oral sex, anal, sex, vaginal sex, armpit sex, straight, gay, trans, couples, singles and more!  Best smorgasm-borg ever!  We really got into some interesting experiments of spacial geometry and I do believe we defied the laws of physics and anatomy more than once.  How many dimensions do we occupy during orgasm?

You would have to see the film to believe it!  But until I star on a reality show, you will probably never have a chance to see it, unless someone posts clips on the internet.  Don’t be a pirate!  Buy your porn!  Somehow the idea of sex tapes going viral seems wrong to me.

So what or who did you do on your summer vacation?  Feel free to send me cards, letters, pictures or video!  Even a postcard would be nice…

Tip Your Waitress Folks (or Looks Do Matter, Sometimes…)

Happy Friday Everyone!

I read an interesting paper (Gueguen, N. Jacob, C., Enhanced female attractiveness with use of cosmetics and male tipping behavior in restaurants, J. Cosmet. Sci., 62, 283-290) today that talks about how the use of makeup seems to increase the tips a waitress can collect.

Apparently they did a study that concludes that female waitresses that wear makeup vs. those that do not wear makeup tend to collect larger tips from male customers.

Can you say, “DUH!”  I knew that you could.

But let’s take a quick look at the ramifications of the study.  According to the study, this was conducted in a laboratory setting.  That will upset some people since they believe that if it isn’t happening in the “real” world, that it doesn’t count.  Well folks, guess what?  Conducting a laboratory trail is the very first step in a field of study.  Scientists that tend to rush right out into the public with an idea are usually labeled extremist or insane and often get a punch in the nose.

Next, the waitresses were instructed to act the same way whether wearing makeup or not.  Again, any study that uses real people has a wild variable in it.  Think of yourself or any woman you know.  Do they act the same with or without makeup?  Not too many that I know.  So there is going to be some give and take on this facet.

During the series of experiments, the same waitress made more money when she wore makeup as opposed to the less she made when she didn’t.  The only difference was the use of makeup.  The service, food and actions were the same.  What does that tell you?

Bottom line: Men tend to give more money to women that they find more desirable.  Or attractive.

It may be sexist or it may be in our genes to provide for the most desirable mate.  I can’t wait for further studies to be published.

And you thought we only stared at your boobs…

Sexual Enhancements (Or Ways to Get Your Freak On!)

Hi folks!  This is a recently published article I wrote for Doc Johnson.  Below is the unedited version.

Do not worry, we will continue with Female Masturbation on Friday!

When we speak of sexual enhancements, many people automatically think about pills.  Indeed, popping pills seems to have become an essential part of the sexual experience.  Originally designed for men suffering from erectile dysfunction (ED), herbal substitutes have proliferated at an amazing pace.  However caution must be used before taking any of these supplements.  As many of you have seen or heard, the United States Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has been watching this category very carefully and has been analyzing samples.  Many have been found to have actual ED drugs or their analogues in them! When those drugs are found, the product must be pulled off the market immediately and as much of it recalled as possible.  This can be very dangerous to your health, so please consult your doctor if you are under medical observation or taking any other medications for your specific condition.   If you are in good health, well, enjoy, but please buy your pills from a reputable vendor.

By the way, the same goes for energy drinks and shots.  Watch that caffeine intake people.  And when you do research that special blend of herbs and spices, be sure you read credible  information.  While there are many websites out there, not all offer scientifically sound and unbiased research.  Stick with sites that end with “.edu” or use www.pubmed.org or my new  favorite http://scholar.google.com.  Yes you may have to look up a few words, but if I can do it, you can too!  Street knowledge is good, many herbalists really know their stuff, but please back it up with science.

But pills are not the only products used for the enhancement of sexual pleasure.  There are many other potions, lotions and gels which can stimulate and please.

Personal Lubricants: Personal lubricants are a great way to enhance the sexual experience.  Many people had their first experience with these at the doctor’s office.  It was thick, gooey and cold!  The field has advanced quite a bit since then.  Now there are lubes with many different consistencies, sensory actions and flavors.  There are different types of lubricants as well.

Silicone lubricants are known for their long-lasting action, even underwater.  They can be difficult to wash off, but probably won’t stain most fabrics.

Water-based lubricants can be fun.  You can get them thick, thin or anywhere in-between. They can also heat, cool or tingle!  Water-based lubricants are great for flavoring.  And while you can find lubes with exotic tastes like black currant or kiwi-goji berry, most people love strawberry and cherry the best.  There is a great variety out there with something for everyone.  Of course, the downside of water-based lubes is that they can dry out and you may need to reapply or add water to get it going again.

Oil-Based lubes or cream lubricants are still popular as well, perhaps not as popular as water-based or silicone, but are still available.  Of course the downside is that oil weakens latex, so please do not use these lubes with condoms!

There are two more classes of sexual enhancement products to discuss; Anatomy-specific and OTC drugs.

The main OTC (Over the Counter) drug is the male genital desensitizer.  The active ingredient is either Benzocaine in a cream, ointment or gel base or Lidocaine in a spray.  These are  applied to the head of the penis, desensitizing it to prevent premature ejaculation.  So by lengthening the time spent during intercourse, the greater the enhancement of pleasure.  In case you wondering how short is too short, the answer is that if bothers you or your partner, then you should give them a try.

Anatomy specific products are just that, designed for a specific part of the body.  These include clitoral stimulation products, nipple products, vaginal tighteners, even deodorants.  Their purpose is to make you more excitable and ready to play.  In fact, that is the goal of all sexual enhancement products, to help you and your partner enjoy sexual encounters even more.

While we would be happy to sell you all of the products listed above and more, the best sexual enhancement we have found is an attentive giving partner who values your pleasure as much as theirs.  And that is priceless.

Previous Older Entries Next Newer Entries