03 Feb 2017
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, Breasts, Couples Sexuality, Female, Female Sexuality, Humanity, Medical, Physiology, Safe Sex, sexuality, Women
Tags: Couples sex talk, emotion, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, Psychology, Science, sex, sexuality, women
I’m baaack!
Today is February 3rd, or Wear Red Day promoting heart health for women. Serious stuff! Now you can skip my rambling and go to http://www.fda.gov/ForConsumers/ByAudience/ForWomen/WomensHealthTopics/ucm117974.htm and check it out for yourself.
For your convenience, you can find the information in 18 different languages here: http://www.fda.gov/ForConsumers/ByAudience/ForWomen/FreePublications/ucm126287.htm
There are four basic tenets:
- Eat a heart healthy diet. Basically low salt/sodium, limit trans fats and cut back on sugar. Stuff we all know how to do, but rarely practice. (Guilty!)
- Manage your health conditions. If you have high cholesterol, blood pressure, diabetic problems. Get on the wagon and take care of them. These can lead to heart problems. Take your medications and follow your doctor’s advice.
- Get the facts about aspirin. Taking a daily aspirin for preventing heart attacks and strokes is not right for everyone. So talk to your doctor. That way you can dial in the appropriate dosage, etc. And remember to remind them of any other medications you are taking. I know your doctor should know, but we cannot remember everything all the time.
- Know the signs of a heart attack. Men and women can have different symptoms, so be sure you go over the links I posted above. Also, check out this video that Elizabeth Banks did a few years ago. She had a heart attack in real life. https://youtu.be/t7wmPWTnDbE
Fine. That’s under your chest. Now let’s go downstairs. (I am great at foreplay!)
Pelvic Inflammatory Disease: An estimated 2.5 million women have an often symptomless infection of the urinary tract that can lead to infertility and lasting abdominal pain. The infection can be cured however, if left untreated long enough, the physical damage may be permanent. PID is a complication of a previous sexually transmitted disease or STD. https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/66/wr/mm6603a3.htm
Yes, we are talking about everybody’s friends chlamydia and gonorrhea. Around 1.5 million cases of chlamydia and 400,000 cases of gonorrhea were reported in 2015. That’s reported, and we know that not everyone reports their health situations. Here’s the thing: these diseases often do not show symptoms and can go undiagnosed and untreated. Now if that leads to PID:
“Pelvic inflammatory disease symptoms may include persistent abdominal pain, fever, abnormal vaginal discharge, or pain or bleeding during sexual intercourse. PID poses long-term hazards such as infertility, chronic pelvic pain and ectopic pregnancy. Ectopic pregnancies occur when an embryo implants in the fallopian tube instead of the uterus.
No single test can diagnose PID, so doctors often rely on symptom reporting. But PID often doesn’t cause symptoms. “That’s one of the scariest things because you may not know it’s even happening,” she said.” https://medlineplus.gov/news/fullstory_163399.html
Your background doesn’t matter. If you are sexually active, get tested every year or as often as your insurance will pay for it. (Adult actors test every month!) Because the more active you are with different partners, the bigger your risk. Make sure that use condoms or other barrier protections. It is a rough world out there.
So that was a very romantic and sexy return for Quantum Cogitation. But ladies, take care of yourselves. You cannot make a difference if you are not around. Plus, I still think I have a shot with you! Are you a beaver? Cuz, Dam!
I will be back more often so please keep sending those cards, letters, photos and videos coming.
05 Aug 2016
by Mystertim
in Adult Performers, Anal Sex, ANME, Butt Sex, cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Men, Oral Sex, Orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Safe Sex, sex toys, sexuality, Vibrators
Tags: dildo, Female Sexuality, fetish, GameLink, gay, Male Sexuality, Motley Crew, Motorhead, Personal Lubricants, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, vibrator
OK, so I am a bit late. Spent way too much time and money at the Annual Newberry Library Book Fair. (http://www.newberry.org/book-fair-blog)
So let’s catch up. Dr Tim is now a free agent in the Sex Toy and Adult Entertainment world. That means you will see things from many different companies featured on my blog. (For transparency sake, no one is paying me or gifting me with anything yet to do my blog. It is a labor of love…)
So, ANME Summer 2016. I was able to attend the Adult Novelty Manufacturers’ Expo (http://www.anmefounders.com/) and had a wonderful time. I saw lots of new toys, saw old friends and made some new ones as well. Top that off with a free lunch and the show was nothing short of miraculous!
Here are some photo highlights:
You may recognize some of the people, but we have Gianna Michaels, Siouxsie Q, Marcelo, a wonderful lady, BUCK ANGEL(!), a picture of Kendra Lust and my dear friend Sunny! Sorry, no pictures of GameLink’s Jeff Dillionaire and other notables. It was quite the party. Here are a few of the cool toys and stuff:
WOW! Doc Johnson and Kink went in together to do some very cool stuff. You will see some of Dr Tim’s products (the Erase Spray will remove magic marker body writing quite easily), a model that shows the optimum areas for butt-paddling so as not to cause serious injury, massage candles, Motorhead and Motley crew vibrators in case you want to bang more than your heads, and app controlled sex toys that also play tunes and have unlock-able achievement levels.
So all in all, a rousing show. Hopefully I will get a Kink fucking machine to test…
10 Aug 2015
by Mystertim
in Anal Sex, Butt Sex, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male, Male Sexuality, Men, Oral Sex, Orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, Safe Sex, sex toys, Strap-ons, Uncategorized
Tags: anal sex, Couples sex talk, emotion, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, Male Sexuality, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, sex toys, strap-on, women
Sexting is awesome! Fun, titillating and gives me a reason to not hate having a smartphone.
However, it is also fraught with danger, especially for children. But for adults, a recent study shows so much benefit from nasty texts.
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/news/fullstory_154019.html
88% of the folks in the survey admitted to texting. Almost nine out of ten. That is a whole lot of data usage. And it turns out that women tend to send sexts instead of receiving them. Food for thought? And that almost 75% of the respondents exchanged sexts with a committed partner. Warms the heart. As mentioned in the article, perhaps that is one way couples can talk about sex if a face-to-face discussion would be too intense for them. I am certainly in favor for anything that improves communication between partners. With luck, sexting fantasies can make their way into the bedroom, boardroom or even the garage!
As stated in the article, “But greater sexting frequency was linked to greater sexual satisfaction among both men and women, particularly when sexters were in a relationship, the survey found. In fact, with the exception of those who said they were in a “very committed” relationship, couples who sexted more often were more likely to say they were satisfied with their relationship. For those in very committed relationships, sexting made no difference in sexual satisfaction, the study found.
By contrast, sexting had little effect on sexual satisfaction for people who weren’t in relationships. Twenty-six percent of the group described themselves as single, the survey found.”
So for better or for worse, sexting is here to stay.
So how do you feel about sexting? Dr Tim certainly enjoys it. And knowing that those sexts are out there in the cyber universe doesn’t bother me in the least. Oh my goodness, the government might discover that I enjoy sex! Heavens, I feel that I may swoon. And for those of us that work too much and play too little, it seems as that is as close to “afternoon delight” as most of us get these days. In fact, perhaps the mighty Doc Johnson could help make your sexts a little sweeter to your sweetie.
Imagine sending a little something using some of these items:
That will light up their eyes and fire that devious imagination. But then that is probably why you sent them a sext in the first place! Have fun, win awards and as always, keep sending in those naughty sexts and videos. Dr Tim loves each and every one of you!
29 Oct 2012
by Mystertim
in Anal Sex, chemicals, cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female Sexuality, Fetish, HIV, HIV/AIDS, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Safe Sex, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, dildo, Female Sexuality, fetish, Male Sexuality, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, sex toys, strap-on
Morning Troops!
It is a beautiful Monday morning out here in Southern California. I understand there may be a bit of rain Out East, but try to stay dry and warm now. You hear?
So many questions! I do believe that it is time to address a few of them and undress the askers.
Q1. Are sex toys actually useful or are they something to hide behind?
A. Sex toys are very useful. They can help folks expand their sexual repertoire, help them understand desires and assist them score some really great orgasms! Sex toys can help build the trust between couples and get single people through the night. Can you hide behind them? Well I’ve seen some pretty big toys, but none to hide behind! (By the way, Doc Johnson sells sex toys for all tastes, desires and needs. If you need a substitute cock, call the Doc!)
Q2. What about lubricants?
A. Deary, deary me! Lubricants are very helpful and fun! (remember, I make them, Doc Johnson sells them!) Lubricants help folks that want to add different flavors to their favorite partner, lubricate orifices that do not naturally lubricate themselves and are a must when inserting oversize objects or fists. I recommend that you always keep a bottle or two on hand for just such an emergency. When my son was younger, the wife and I would put it on the doorknob. Made it tough for him to turn…
Q3. Can you make semen taste like chocolate?
A. Working on it. If I do, my next blog will be sent from an as of yet undesignated island.
Q4. Do you always think about sex?
A. Well, yes. My job is thinking of ways to enhance your sexual experience. And then turn it into a real thing. Not everyone needs or wants these items, but they are incredibly important to others. Your satisfaction is my business.
Q5. WHich is better for a quickie, oral or anal sex?
A. Dr Tim does not do quickies. If you do not have a couple of hours to play, don’t start with me. However, oral sex is pretty darn good for a quickie. But then again, so is anal or even regular intercourse. There is no best or better. Only you and your partner know what will work for you. Whatever happened to a good old handie now and then?
Q6. Why are strap-ons so popular these days?
A. Beats me! I guess that more and more people are open to the pleasures derived from them. More men have discovered the pleasures of prostate massage and more women have discovered the joy of helping. Of course many same-sex couples use strap-ons as well. Is there anything a strap-on can’t do? Oh yeah, it cannot get you pregnant.
Q7. What about chemicals?
A. What about them?
Q8. Are the chemicals used in sex toys, lubricants and cosmetics bad for you?
A. From the top: Everything is a chemical. Water, air, fruit, flowers, everything. There are only so many elements that we know about in this world and they make up everything.
Q9. Phthalates or parabens ring a bell?
A. Yes. And although many phthalates have been banned around the world, science has not shown any danger from the most popular. They were banned by emotion, not science. Parabens also have a sixty year history of safe use, but they have been taken out of many products due to the public which would rather demand things than learn about them. You forgot to mention BPA. It is in every canned good you have ever purchased. Relax a little. Scientist do not want to poison, you, hurt you or kill you. If we did, who would buy our products? By the way, Doc Johnson does not use phthalates and parabens are being phased out.
Q10. How many licks does it take?
A. Ask Lil’ Kim.
Q11. You think you’re so smart! Why did you pick the Detroit Tigers in the World Series?
A. Shut up.
Well, we are out of time folks! Keep those cards, letters, emails and dirty pictures coming in!
04 May 2012
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Dr Susan Block, Female, Female Sexuality, Male, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Safe Sex, sex toys, sexuality, Vibrators
Tags: Couples sex talk, dildo, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, Male Sexuality, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, sex toys, sexuality, vibrator
I’m back! What did I miss?
We have so little to cover and so much time to do it. Wait, scratch that. Reverse it. Moving on…
First – Dr Adam Ostrzenski, of the Institute of Gynocology in St Petersburg, Florida claims to have found the actual G-Spot! You may have heard about this on the news, but let’s look a bit closer, shall we? Whatever he found, it is causing huge waves in the medical and sexual health fields. Doctors are lining up on both sides of the debate. You see, one side says, “Hooray! Another clue to the mystery!” while the other proclaims, “The G-Spot is not real! Stop trying to make women into sexual robots who respond to physical impulses!”
Tough room. The doctor claims that not only is this very small cluster of grape-like pods in a sac the g-spot, but that it can rupture or weaken most likely during labor trauma. So it seems that having kids could really dent your sexual desire. Regardless, he only found this in one woman, 84 years old. As we do know, every woman is different. The g-spot may be large or small or even non-existent. The problem is that humans tend to get caught up in the whirlwind of “OMG, I Must Be Dysfunctional.” Not only that, it only measured 8.1 mm by 1.5-3.6 mm by 0.4 mm. Harder to find than the clitoris! (Which is not hard to find at all! See: https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/10/15/the-amazing-clitoris/)
So what are you going to do? This is where Synchronicity happens:
It is National Masturbation Month!!!!!
So let’s go exploring! Let’s break out our Official Doc Johnson Lubricant and Official Doc Johnson Toys and go spelunking. We have all sorts of toys and gizmos to reach everyplace you have thought of and several that you haven’t. If you need some masturbation tips, please refer to these wonderful columns:
https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/05/06/national-masturbation-month-part-1-im-not-jerking-you-around-here/
https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/05/27/airing-the-orchid-or-women-are-wankers-too/
Or check in with my Dear Friend Dr Suzy: http://bloggamy.com/masturbation-month-news/
But first some important news: There is nothing wrong with you if you cannot locate your G-Spot. Some women are much more sensitive than others and every woman is different. I would hate it if you were all the same. So take your time. Explore yourself alone or with a special friend. The goal is not finding the g-spot. The goal is your feeling good, having fun and feeling fulfilled. Each of you is special and I love you dearly for it. Relax, don’t worry. Masturbate yourself to bliss!
Other Breaking News:
A recent study shows that men think about Sex, Food and Sleep. In that order. Can you say “DUH!” How can I get paid to conduct these studies. (Point of difference: The study was done with college aged men between 18-25. I am a bit older and my order is Food, Drink, WOMAN, Sleep…)
Yet another study published in The American Journal of Medicine states that with many older women, sex gets better as they age. I am still not surprised. Older women know what works for them and how to achieve satisfaction. Like I mentioned earlier, it is all about your satisfaction. Satisfied women are happy women. Happy women (come in California) make happy men. Let’s do this people!
And finally: the FDA approves a new drug for the treatment of erectile dysfunction! Huzzah! Men suffering from ED need to masturbate too! It is called Stendra and should be taken 30 minutes before sexual activity. It is also a PDE5, so all the same warnings about nitrates, vision, hearing, etc, etc, etc.
Thanks for visiting! Now wash your hands and let’s go get something to eat!
01 Dec 2011
by Mystertim
in AIDS, Charity, Couples Sexuality, Doc Johnson, HIV, HIV/AIDS, Humanity, Medical, Physiology, Safe Sex, World AIDS Day
Tags: AIDS, HIV, HIV/AIDS, World Aids Day
Let’s get real folks. There is a serious pandemic going on in the world called HIV/AIDS.
HIV – Human Immunodeficiency Virus
AIDS – Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (the final stage of HIV)
HIV is a virus that attacks your immune system making you unable to fight off infections or even cancer.
It was first coming to light when I was in college some 30+ years ago. Back then it was called the “Gay Cancer” because what little we knew was that you could only get it if you were gay, an intravenous drug user or Haitian. We didn’t know. We were young, stupid and foolish. Nobody really knew what was happening or why.
HIV/AIDS was officially recognized in 1981. Since then the World Health Organization has estimated that it has killed over 25 million people world-wide. That number is probably low.
It is the sixth leading cause of death among people ranging from 25-44 in the United States. It was number one in 1995.
Right now there are an estimated 33 million people living with HIV. Over two million of those are children under the age of 15.
Chances are that you know and love someone who has HIV. No need to wear a Hazmat suit. You cannot get HIV/AIDS by shaking hands, hugging, touching something that an infected person has touched or anything foolish like that. And no one is safe! It affects men, women, straight, gay, bi, black, white, asian, hispanic, everyone. Africa is being decimated. It is estimated that Africa accounts for 72% of all HIV/AIDS cases in the world.
I’m going to give you some links that Dr Tim trusts and believes in to give you reliable information. Check them out.
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/default.htm
http://www.aids.org/
http://www.aids.gov/
http://www.aids.gov/world-aids-day/
http://www.webmd.com/hiv-aids/default.htm
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000594.htm
http://promotions.usa.gov/worldaidsday.html (brochure about HIV & Women. click the link to read the brochure, the information is only if you are ordering copies)
Now there are many graphic photos which I could add to this post, but I don’t think I will. Take it from Dr Tim, AIDS is a very unpleasant, painful, ugly way to die. I have been with friends as they died from AIDS. I have interfaced between widowed lovers and families. I have cleaned out their homes. I have been yelled at, physically attacked and abused by those left behind with their grief. No, this is not a good way to die.
Wearing a red ribbon is not a proclamation that I am against HIV/AIDS. Everyone is against disease. I do not wear one to make you think I am better than you. That is a waste of time.
I wear a red ribbon so that those who are suffering can see it and know they have a friend, that they can come to me for help and that I will do anything I can to help ease their suffering.
We have lost friends, family, athletes, movie stars, musicians and so many more to this disease.
I’ve said it before, but please be careful and treat your life with respect. I do not want to lose any more of you.
14 Oct 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Safe Sex, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Transexual, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, boobs, clit, clitoris, cock, Couples sex talk, Cunnilingus, dick, dildo, emotion, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, gay, Lesbian, Male Sexuality, men, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, pussy, Science, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, Transexual, vibrator, women
“Sweetie, what are you thinking about right now?”
“Well Darling, there isn’t a game on so I am thinking about boobs.’ (Famous Last Words)
And I am, unless I am thinking about pussy or ass. Maybe about how good a blowjob would feel right now.
You are correct, Dear Readers, these are not appropriate answers when you get hit by “The Question” by your Significant Other.
In fact, this question is almost worse than the “We Need to Talk” statement. Not quite, but almost.
Now I know that all of you have well-rounded lives with great jobs, community work, charity work and being a pillar of your House of Worship whichever that may be. But guess what? We all think about boobs. Even women think about boobs! I am very pro-boob and I am not afraid to say it.
So where am I going with all of this? Everyone thinks about sex. It is in just about everyone’s top five list of obsessions. Or in my case the top two, I do love cheeseburgers.
Consider this, we all think about sex. A lot really. And that leads to uncomfortable situations. Who hasn’t been caught checking someone out? Male, female, straight, gay, lesbian, bi, trans, everyone has been busted. It could be boobs, a bulging package or the way that ass moves under that sheer sun dress. It could be a piece of jewelry or a particular shade of lipstick. Even a fragrance can take you there.
https://quantumcogitation.com/2009/12/11/always-sniffing-around-or-smell-my-fetish/
And it could take your thoughts to uninhibited states of fantasy activities. Strap-ons, anal sex, oral sex, threesome, moresome, orgies or your handy Official Doc Johnson devices and lubes. Oh, do buy lots of Official Doc Johnson toys and lubes. If it is better than Cock, it came from the Doc!
The brain is an amazing organ where your mind constructs new realities and worlds where the impossible can happen. I have this little dream where Eva Mendez comes over to bake chocolate chip cookies with me and…
That is when you get busted. Men are caught with a small smile and a growing chubby. Women stand up and everyone looks for the velcro they just heard. (Are you sitting in a puddle or are you just happy to see me?)
And most of the time, it is a fair cop. Now I just happen to have a great job where I not only to have to think about sex constantly, but I have to think about making it better or longer-lasting, or tastier. Yep. To use business-speak, I need to maximize your sensory experience during erotic interludes. In other words, Me make bouncy-bouncy more bouncy!
So yes, I think about sex a lot. Almost as much as a teenager with the exception that I know what I am doing. I hope. https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/10/15/the-amazing-clitoris/
Other times it is an unfortunate frustration. I was caught checking out a young college lady and was scolded for being a dirty old pervert. One, I am not dirty. I shower every day. Two, I am not that old. If it were true, I would have smiled and been about my business. When I am busted for silently perving, I admit it and ask how they busted me. Were they thinking the same things?
However that one time was different. The young lady in question was the daughter of an old girlfriend from college. She looked so much like her Mom did in college that it made me smile, remembering those happy days.
It isn’t always about sex. It just usually is…
So what’s on your naughty mind? Drop me a line and let me know! My email and twiiter are over there to the right somewhere.
16 Sep 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, chemicals, cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Fashion, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Medical, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Regulatory, Safe Sex, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Transexual, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, chemicals, clit, clitoris, Couples sex talk, dildo, emotion, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, gay, Lesbian, men, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, Science, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, sweet semen, Transexual, vibrator, women
Believe it or not, I took a vacation last week. No, really! I was not in my laboratory for nine days. Nine long, empty, meaningless days…
Actually I had a grand time. It was my first vacation in four years and my third in the last twelve years. It seems like I take a week off every four years or so.
So what did I do? Things that would make the Marquis de Sade jump up on a chair and go “Eeek!”
Well, I’m sure that someone would. I spent two days travelling. It was nice to see the green fields and blue skies of the Midwest again. You know, they have air that can be seen through almost all of the time. Then I came home to study.
Yes you read that correctly, I came home to study. I was buried in quantum theory, chemistry, mathematics and porn.
A person needs to stay sharp and up-to-date with the latest and greatest theories and inventions. Who wouldn’t want to unravel the theories of time and the universe while experiencing mind-blowing orgasms? Somehow I find that climaxing while learning brings me to an amazing brain-gasm. Nothing like a good cum to fix things in your brain. The universe seems to open itself up to me during sex. (Now you understand why I call my Lady Friends, “My World, My Universe.”)
Here you thought I ignored my studies to do a lot of screwing around! Nonsense. As serious students, we always recited our class notes during sex. In fact, that is the main reason people like the dirty talk in the bedroom. Have you ever said anything naughty that your partner forgot? Nope, they remember every last thing you said in bed and try to hold you to it. A lot of jewelry gets sold that way.
Did you know that two people can squeeze into an orgone box? They can! If you can have sex in an airplane bathroom, you can make it in an orgone box! Although that isn’t the point. One of these days I promise that I will write a blog about Wilhelm Reich. His work is fascinating.
Back to my vacation! Out of nine, I had seven days of Science, Sex and Ice Cream. Hmm, Seven of Nine does make me think about Science, Sex and Ice Cream, although not in that exact order.
However, serious study needs a serious study group. How fortunate that I know such a group who could really help me concentrate on my studies. Anything that could happen, did happen! There were tons of official Doc Johnson toys and lubes which everyone shared to their hearts’ content. There were strap-ons, oral sex, anal, sex, vaginal sex, armpit sex, straight, gay, trans, couples, singles and more! Best smorgasm-borg ever! We really got into some interesting experiments of spacial geometry and I do believe we defied the laws of physics and anatomy more than once. How many dimensions do we occupy during orgasm?
You would have to see the film to believe it! But until I star on a reality show, you will probably never have a chance to see it, unless someone posts clips on the internet. Don’t be a pirate! Buy your porn! Somehow the idea of sex tapes going viral seems wrong to me.
So what or who did you do on your summer vacation? Feel free to send me cards, letters, pictures or video! Even a postcard would be nice…
25 Aug 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Safe Sex, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, clit, clitoris, Couples sex talk, dildo, emotion, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, gay, Lesbian, Male Sexuality, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, Transexual, vibrator, women
Hot enough for you?
Hey! If you are going to throw things, either make them soft or made out of ice cream!
Back in the Midwest, when I was just a Baby Chemist, we had a saying in August. Now keep in mind in those days Dr Tim was a young, strong, wiry lad with fire in his soul and mischief in his eyes. I was working for the County in the Secondary Road Department. Yes, I’m the guy that held the stick on the survey crew. It was an afternoon when we were in the Shop to pick up some supplies when I first heard it.
“It’s too hot to fuck!”
Now that is really saying something! “You can fry an egg on the sidewalk.” “It’s hotter than Hell.” “So hot my shadow was looking for shade.” “That’ll melt your ice cream.” Statements that we hear, but don’t make much of an impact on us. But when a man or woman says, “It’s too hot to fuck.” Well! Can you seriously name anything that would prevent you from fucking if fucking was available? Me either.
Now it is belief on mine that Humans are nocturnal by nature. We were only forced to live in the sunlit world by the advent of the agricultural age. People aren’t supposed to be out in the sun! Sleep by day, hunt by night. That’s living! I thrive on moonlight and the sun is not my friend. And don’t even get me started on vampires! Cold lifeless sadness drinking blood to feel alive but for a night? Awful! Now werewolves, they have an abundance of life energy. Living in the moment, intimate with nature and in bed? WHEW! That’s life up at the sharp end.
Back to the heat. So if it is too hot to fuck, what are you going to do? Perform 68 with your partner? (68 – you blow me and I’ll owe you one.) Watch “Scrubs” reruns and masturbate to fantasies of Dr Kelso? Almost! You can have a slow, easy wanking session using your Official Doc Johnson toys! WHOO-HOO!!! You know you love it.
But if you need to be reminded, go here: https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/05/27/airing-the-orchid-or-women-are-wankers-too/ or here: https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/05/06/national-masturbation-month-part-1-im-not-jerking-you-around-here/
Seriously, Two hot sweaty bodies really screw up the bed. Especially if there is a power outage or your air conditioning doesn’t work. Grab the sofa, your Sasha Grey Love Spit Lube (seriously, it is awesome!) and your Doc Johnson dildos, vibrator, stroker or strap-ons. Lay back under the fan and tease yourself slowly. Think about something that really turns you on and let your hands wander.
Need a long, slow deep-dicking? Lube up that dildo, fasten that strap-on to a cushion or pillow and ride or slide at your sexiest pace. Men, do the same with your stroker. Use lots of lube, it feels cool and wet. Add the vibrator that will tickle your private places without doubling the sweat on the sheets. Ever sit on an ice pack while masturbating? Try it! You may just love it! You know, glass dildos can be kept in the freezer for just such an emergency as well.
Or, for my fans that are hardcore, slip a few ice cubes or a popsicle in your back door. Not only will it intensify your orgasm, but you will have the coldest experience since that one time with the snow bunnies outside the lodge at Big Bear during January! But careful, this technique is not for rookies. Hardcore only please. Beginners should work their way up to this by fucking over an open freezer or over a 50 # bag of ice wrapped in a towel. Ever do it in a wading pool full of ice water? It is GOOD, trust me.
So it’s August, it’s hot and your partner is a sweaty slob. Don’t let that stop you from having the orgasms you deserve! Use a little creativity and don’t forget to take the Doc along for the ride. Remember: If it’s as good as Cock, it must be from the Doc! If rubber pussy makes you want some, call on old Doc Johnson.
Didn’t quite rhyme, but you get the jism gist of it. Besides, where are you going to get a sex toy blog that has human evolution, werewolves, vampires and ice up the ass?
From Dr Tim, that’s who!
03 Jun 2011
by Mystertim
in Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, Safe Sex, sex toys, Strap-ons, Uncategorized, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Couples sex talk, dildo, emotion, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, Salad-Tossing, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, vibrator, women
Attention all sexually uninhibited exhibitionists! My Amazing Employer is doing one of those Contest thingies. Check it out!
NORTH HOLLYWOOD, Calif.—Adult novelty manufacturer Doc Johnson announces the launch of its first-ever “Fun With Doc” user-generated video submission contest designed to place creative control in the hands of the novelty giant’s legions of fans.
Hosted at FunWithDoc.com, the competition calls for loyal customers, curious consumers or anyone with a camera to submit a video showcasing their Doc Johnson toys being used in a unique, fun, inventive, and YouTube-friendly way. One lucky Grand Prize winner will receive a brand new Apple iPad2 and two runner-ups will receive a Doc Johnson gift bag tailored to their male, female or couples-friendly preferences.
All that is needed to enter is a camera, a YouTube and Twitter account, and a favorite Doc Johnson toy. Entrants will need to shoot their video and upload it to YouTube, follow Doc Johnson (@TheOriginalDoc) on Twitter, and send a tweet that mentions @TheOriginalDoc, which includes their YouTube video link. All submitted videos that follow these guidelines will be available to view and at www.funwithdoc.com.
“Just as we do with our products, we consistently look to innovate in terms of engaging our fan base,” said Chad Braverman, Doc Johnson’s director of product development and licensing. “Our goal with this contest is to provide consumers a platform to display their creativity, showcase the personality of Doc Johnson as playful and inventive, and promote the brand in an entirely original way. Through the tremendous success of our YouTube channel and other prior social media campaigns, we’ve seen firsthand that there’s a real benefit for companies to interact with the consumer through the development of organic, user-generated content. We can’t wait to see what pops up during this contest.”
The winners will be chosen based upon the number of YouTube views they receive. After the allotted time, the Top 10 videos with the most YouTube views will be selected as the Finalists. A panel of judges made up of Doc Johnson representatives will judge the entries in categories including: originality, creativity, humor and effective representation of the Doc Johnson brand. For a list of official rules and regulations, visit FunWithDoc.com.
Me again: Remember, YouTube friendly. But if you have to shoot porn, please send it to: DrTim@quantumcogitation.com
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