Blizzard Watch – Los Angeles! (Or How I survived the winter!)

That’s right!  Blizzard in Los Angeles.  We filled up our gas tanks, we laid in plenty of wood for the fire and stockpiled groceries to the ceiling.  Deep down in our DNA we remember the arctic cold and foraging for scraps in our ancestors’ ancestors’ youth.

And what did we get?  Well, at my house we had about four minutes of hail (pea-sized) and if you squinted very, very hard a few flakes of precious snow.

But we Californians are a hardy bunch, bred from pioneer stock.  By Sunday we regrouped and pulled of the Biggest Award Show of the Year!  (Kirk Douglas is the man!)

Now we know what you folks on the East Coast went through this year.  Brothers in Ice.(TM)  In fact, twitter and facebook were filled with pictures of our single layer accumulation of frozen precipitation.  We were so excited that we resembled crazed weasels on stilts.  What a rush!

What’s that you say?  We are more Brady Bunch than Hardy Bunch?  I’ll have you know that my electric blanket was dialed to “3”!  And it did plummet to 29 degrees F too.  So how did I keep warm?  Hence this brief missive.

A reader asked me the names of my favorite adult performers.  Some you may know, some you may not.  But they were all very instrumental to my psychosexual development.  Just try not to read too much into that…

So, in no particular order, may I present:

Angel (don’t know her last name, but her skin was so alabaster that I thought she was albino!), Janie Robbins, Viper, Marilyn Chambers, Seka, Sulka, Jack Wrangler, Kelli Richards, Taylor St Claire, Vanessa del Rio, Heather Hunter, Christy Canyon, Gianna Michaels, Vaniity, Vanessa Blue, Olivia O’Lovely, Paul Thomas, Sascha (looked like Burt Reynolds), Gia Darling, Debi Diamond, Asa Akira and too many more to name them all.  There are some performers who I only remember how they looked.  Couldn’t get much information from the 8mm loops back in the day.  Especially on the truly kinky films where everyone was masked or hidden.  I’d love to know who those folks were so that I could thank them someday.  Anyone else remember when hardcore sex, SM, GS, etc were all in one film?

And thinking about them, recalling my favorite scenes and actually watching a few kept me more than warm!  These folks truly seemed to enjoy themselves during their scenes and enthusiasm really makes the movie for me.  I even had the pleasure to work with a few of them and enjoyed every minute!  You see, the adult performers who don’t really enjoy the work, the ones who never smile or laugh during their scenes, unless it is some hardcore SM but then those in charge should be having fun too, I tend to forget.  The ones who make me smile and laugh really percolate my hormones.  Love what you do!  Oral, anal, kink, BD/SM, straight, gay, bi, trans – live it and love it!  And if you use toys or lubes – be sure to bring your Official Doc Johnson goods to the party!

Today’s Lesson:  Adult performers are human, just like us.  Some are grateful, some are not.  Some are a joy to work with/hang out with and some you never want to see again.  Some love their job, others are just in it for a paycheck.

I love my job.  How are you doing today?

As always, send questions, notes, paypal transfers to:  And if you are an adult performer who wants to be on my list for some reason, show me how you love your job.

Valentine’s Day (or Get your Heart-On!)

Seriously, how could I not do a special Valentine’s Day Post?  All the other bloggers are doing it!  (And if they all jumped off a bridge, well I would double-check my bungee cord!)

Sex.  Valentine’s Day is all about sex.  No, no!  Do not even try to deny it.  You come across with the goods and they just plain cum.

Chocolates for sex or sex for diamonds it is all the same.  (G-d bless the chocolates ladies!  The Boss pays me well, but not that well!)

So let’s talk about chocolate!  Eating chocolate can simulate those warm, gooey feelings of being in love.  How?  Well, chocolate has many different chemicals in it that can really help.  For example:  The chemicals in chocolate affect levels of the body’s mood-affecting chemicals, which include serotonin, endorphins, theobromine and phenylethylamine. Serotonin is a chemical messenger in the brain that affects emotions, behavior, and thought. Endorphines are chemicals in the brain that are responsible for positive moods. Theobromine is stimulant found in cocoa which gives chocolate mood elevating effects. Phenylethylamine is a naturally occurring neuroamine which has been shown to relieve depression, increase attention and promote energy. Your body releases phenylethylamine in response to romance.

WHEW!  Science on a holiday.  I am truly a madman.  Chocolate, dark chocolate especially, contains many essential vitamins and minerals for your body’s health.    Oh, and it appears that the antioxidants in dark chocolate can increase you “good” HDL cholesterol levels.  Try to keep it to two ounces a day though.

I know, everything to excess, moderation is for monks.  But monks tend to live quite a while and you wouldn’t want to miss out on the adventure would you?

Now some of you folks out there are wondering, is it OK to indulge in anal sex or breast copulation (Tit-fucking) on Valentine’s Day?  Sure it is!  After all, what other body parts are heart-shaped?  Turn that tushie upside down and there is a beautiful heat for you to penetrate with your Cupid’s arrow.  And when you cup her breasts, ta-daaa!  Another heart shape.  Just meant to be written on with your own special ink.  Just be sure to lend a warm washcloth or whatever help she desires to clean up.

So bring home the chocolates, the flowers, the panties, the jewelry and most importantly the Doc Johnson lubricants and toys.  (Remember? I work there.)  Show your Significant Other how much you love, how much you think and how much you desire to hold them, tease them and please them.  And just maybe, if you are sincere, you will get an extra helping of good loving in return.

Hopefully, today isn’t the only day you are scheduled to have sex.  My love knows no time or date.  Heck it doesn’t even own a calendar!  But if this is the one day when the two of you can let down your defences and joyfully give yourselves to each other, do not let any one spoil your day.  For today is all about Love, which coincidentally is the story about my life. 

My life is about Love.  What’s yours?

Female Ejacultaion (or Singing in the Rain!)

Buckle up, this can get controversial!

Women cum too.

See?  Already I am hearing petty bickering.  You say, “Of course women cum too.  I’ve heard them moan.”  There is so much more to it than that.

Female Ejaculation.  Squirting.  Gushing.  Cumming.  It is an amazing thing to see in real life.  Sure there are some squirters in porn films, but many of those are faked.  Let’s talk about it.

For example, were you aware of the female prostate?  (It is often identified as Skene’s Glands.)  Although the term had disappeared for some 300 plus years, the first description showed up in 1672 by Renier De Graaf.  It was described as a collection of functional glands and ducts that surrounded the urethra.  Which produced a pale yellow or clear fluid which his opinon made women wet and horny.  Sounds like a useful thing to have around the bedroom!

To be honest, not much is known about how it works or why it even exists.  Modern Medicine just wasn’t interested.  But here is what we suspect: 1) it produces and stores prostatic fluid in the ducts which drain into the urethra.  (Prostatic fluid in made up of PSA, PSAP, PAP and fructose.)  2) It releases serotonin into the blood stream.

So, what is female ejaculate?  Is it pee?

No.  It is not urine.  It has PSA, PSAP, PAP, Creatine, Urea (which is not pee!), Glucose, Potassium, Sodium, Chloride.  (Wimpissinger, Florian, Stifter, Karl, Grin, Wolfgang & Stackl, Water: The Female Prostate Revisited: Perineal Ultrasound and Biochemical Studies of Female Ejaculate. Journal of Sexual Medicine 4 (5), 1388-1393.)

Safe to taste and drink!  Who said “Ewww!”  Hey, you want her to drink yours so step up to the bar buddy.  Sure it can taste different.  Many say it has no flavor but it varies from woman to woman.  Although it can be altered by diet, lifestyle and other options.  Just like you!  (

Can every woman ejaculate?

Well, can they?  Everything points to an answer of yes.  Have you ever been with a woman who after sex you discover that the blankets, sheets, mattress pad and mattress are wet?  Then you have been with a female ejaculator.  And I didn’t mind the extra laundry one bit!  Does she get up to pee once or several times during sex?  It could be that she is confusing the build-up of a mind-blowing wet orgasm with having to empty her bladder.

And this is where it gets tricky.  Through lessons from society she has learned to hold back at all costs.  Good girls don’t do that.  Do not have any biological function in public or where people can see/smell you.  You see, women get that.  They worry about odors much more than men do.  I actually embarrassed a co-worker once.  Her pheromones must have been working overtime because I asked her if she had just started her period.  She said that she hadn’t.  I recommended that she be prepared.  Her period started an hour later.  And she asked me if she had smelled bad.  Not at all.  She smelled delicious!

She may need your help or permission to ejaculate.  Let me say right now that female ejaculation does not have to shoot across the room.  It varies and can show up as a gusher, a flood, or a trickle lasting over one or more orgasms.  So how are we going to help her get there?

Ladies, pee before sex so you can be assured that it isn’t urine.  Gently caress her privates and gently with a finger or your official Doc Johnson Lucid Dream 14, start to massage her prostate gland (or G-spot if you are so inclined.  Controversy!)  Lend a tongue to her clit, nipples or wherever she wants it.  Let it build.  Be sure she knows how much you care and follow any directions she gives you explicitly.  Except for. “Oh, Oh, OH!  Stop!”  that is when you whisper, “Let it all go baby.”  And get ready.

If you don’t make it the first few times, so what?  You are there for her.  She will get there.  And you, my friend, had better be ready to be splashed and have an open willing mouth.  It is worth it.

And maybe when she recovers, it will be your turn!  Just don’t be afraid if she heads for your prostate during oral sex.

Give a little to get a little.  Give a lot to win her heart.

This Sucks! (Blow is just an expression…)

WARNING:  This post contains language which may be considered unsuitable to some.  (Even though you can hear worse on basic cable.)  Do not proceed if frank talk about sex and sexuality offend you.

Music time!  Grab your favorite skin flute or fuzzy harmonica and let’s get those lips, tongues and mouths moving.

Today’s double question comes from one of my most devoted fans.  She hails from the Midwest where people know how to entertain themselves when they get snowed in during the winter.  (And even though I have given her a toy or two, she has never sent me any videos…)

It reads, “Why do women have orgasms from oral stimulation faster than penetration?”  Followed by, “What is it about giving a blowjob that a man loves?  Isn’t penetration good enough?”

Where do we begin?  Why don’t we just “go down” to it and “muff-dive” right in?

Why do women have orgasm from oral stimulation faster than penetration?

To be honest, that is not true of all women.  I have even met a woman who refuses to let her lovers go down on her.  (That means: perform cunnilingus on her.)  However, there are many possible reasons.  First, her man may just not know how to fuck.  You have to get that special pelvic thrust to lift and stimulate the clitoris as you shake, bake and rock her world.  But then, what could be better than lying back on your sofa, cool breeze wafting by, a glass of your favorite beverage in your hand, with your other hand playing lazily in the hair of the lover kneeling between your spread legs giving you pleasure?

(Excuse me, I need a quick shower!)

The mouth is such a versatile  part of the body.  It can change shape, be sharp or soft, trace the alphabet with as much or as little moisture you desire.  The penis goes in and out.  It cannot tickle the clit as well or as easily as the tongue.  A cock cannot hum your favorite tune as it vibrates, flutters and dives deep.  The tongue can slide from the tip of the clit to the sweet spider and back without someone having to guide it.  And if you enjoy being tongue-fucked, then the nose becomes a natural clitoral stimulator! 

Oh the joys of giving and getting face!  And it gives the giver an incredible view while they are down there too.  Up to nipple-peaked hills or the rolling scenery of a beautiful tush.  And have you ever considered riding a dildo or vibrator while a tongue is in action at the same time?  WHOO!!!!

In college we had a couple of teams.  Guys had buttons that said, “I’d rather lick it than stick it.”  The ladies wore, “I’d rather suck it than fuck it.”  So you see, some people just prefer oral sex to genital/anal intercourse.  And there is nothing wrong with that!  The simple answer?  Oral sex is AWESOME!

Which leads me to my insight about men.  Straight or Gay, we all want our dicks sucked.

Why?  For all of the reasons listed above!  Vaginal/anal intercourse is amazing.  The burning hot juices of your lady (or the tight pulsing walls of the anus) scorching the skin of your penis just makes us crazy.  However, I have yet to meet a vagina that can swallow a penis and lick the balls at the same time.  Yes, men love to have their balls licked.  It is a feeling that I simply cannot describe adequately.  And the fact that you can play with our scrotum while you suck just puts us into system overload.  The many variations of manipulations feel so good.  No wonder why we are always playing with ourselves.

Analingus:  I feel that I should mention analingus, also called salad-tossing, kissing the barking spider or rimjobs, here.  Analingus is, of course, the licking, kissing, sucking of the anus.  This is a real turn-on for many and a major turn-off for others.  It can be an excellent pre-anal sex appetizer as well as a post-anal sex treat.  I know several folks that can climax just by receiving a good rimjob.  Personally, I feel that the entire body of your partner should be kissed and loved.  But I understand if you feel differently.

Please note: If taste is a problem, Doc Johnson (who pays me frequently) sells many products to alter your lover’s flavor.  Just a dab of Goodhead, Body Drops or Lick-Me-Licker will add a delightful burst of flavor to your tongue.  And for those adventurous types, look for Wendy William’s Salad-Tossing Spray.  One spritz and you will be begging for more.  Don’t be shy, buy and try them all!

Now someone mentioned to me that it is odd that a woman would ask why she orgasms more easily during oral sex but wonders why penetration is not enough for a man.  Lots of folks feel that way.  Sure it is great to give as good as you get, but if both parties are happy, who cares?  Lick and let lick I always say.  (Unless I don’t.)

After all, isn’t it better to give than receive?

See you all next time when we enter the magical world of female squirters!  Send your comments, questions, home-made videos to: