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Sex Stuff 101 (or take a chance)

So there I was, reading the National Institute of Health updates and saw a bit about Healthy Sexuality.  You know me, I clicked the link which took me to a video put out by the American Society of Reproductive Medicine.  Nice website and great videos that cover so many of the basic questions people have about sexuality.

Remember: This site is about the mechanics of sex and while they have passing mentions of sexualities other that heterosexuality, it is about how our bits work for reproduction.  There is a lot about infertility.

But their videos about sexual health, sexual problems and healthy sexuality are certainly worth a look.  Here is a link right to the videos: http://reproductivefacts.org/Full_Length_Patient_Education_Videos/

Copy and paste if your browser won’t let you click it.

Because while we at Doc Johnson love all of the fun and games, we want you to be happy, healthy and loving your life.  (And buy all of your toys/lubes from us!)

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Back to Basics (Or, Get down and give me 20!)

Did you ever want to be a marathon sled dog in the sack?  Of course you did.  We all did.  There is hope.

There was a presentation of a small study at the European Congress of Urology in Stockholm recently.  Turns out that there may be something you can do in the privacy of your own home to increase your stamina in bed.  Exercise.  Yep, exercise.

In the study were 40 men, aged 19-46, with lifelong premature ejaculation.  They followed a 12 week program of exercising their floor pelvic muscles.  And guess what happened.

After the three months, the period of time to reach ejaculation increased from 32 seconds to 2.5 minutes!  That is astounding.  That gave them 4.6 times longer to enjoy lovemaking with their significant other.

Think about that for a second.  These men went from your basic “in-out-done” to a much more intimate sexual relationship.  One where there was time to gaze into eyes, call out names several times or re-weave their hair from behind.  Can you imagine the psychological impact of this?

Think of the increase in self-confidence.  That man can now enjoy his life better, improve his relationship, get a raise and be who he always thought he could be.  And that is a d*mn sexy trait in men.

You see, if someone could ease one of their biggest disappointments in life, the world opens up to him.  Now pelvic floor exercises have been used to improve incontinence in men for years.  Especially after prostate surgery.  But they had never really tried them for premature ejaculation, well, not for anyone that suffered from it for a long time.  Great stuff.

I certainly hope when they publish and can run larger studies that this will hold true.

Now Doc Johnson, amazing company that it is, cannot help you exercise.  You gotta do that on your own buddy.  However, when you are not in the gym, we can help delay your premature ejaculation as well.

 

1310_01_BU 1310_02_BU

These are what the FDA calls “Male Genital Desensitizers.”  Using benzocaine, it will decrease the amount of stimulation you feel through your penis.  That should really help you out in the interim.

Just apply to the underside of the head of your penis, wait a second or two, then proceed with your business.  I don’t care who you are sticking it to, but hopefully this will make the encounter more fun for both of you.

Here are a couple links about how you can start doing these exercises today:

http://www.webmd.com/men/pelvic-floor-kegel-exercises-for-men

http://www.askthetrainer.com/pelvic-floor-exercises-for-men/

Remember kids, stay in school and the gym!  And keep those cards, letters, naughty pictures and videos coming in!

 

Cuckolds (or Hook ’em Horns)

An interesting question was posed to me this week.

Why are cuckold films so popular?

I have no idea.  However, I do know a little bit about the Hot Wife/cuckold phenomenon.

Some of you have already gone to Wikipedia to look up “Cuckold,” so I will just give the brief alleged origin of the term.  You see, there is this bird called the cuckoo.  Besides living in clocks, the female will lay its eggs in another birds nest so that someone else raises the offspring.  This is a similar deal.  Hot Wife goes out and gets knocked up by a man other than her husband so that the husband ends up raising someone else’s kid.  There is often denial of sex for the cuckolded husband.

How do these people’s minds work?

Lots of answers of which all or none of may be correct.

1. The stress of sexual relations is too much for the husband.  He wants his wife to be happy so he gives her permission to get the sexual satisfaction she deserves.  Very selfless and giving.

2. The husband feels inadequate and grudgingly gives consent for his wife to get what he cannot provide.  i.e., multiple orgasms, a large cock, a “real” man, group sex, etc.

3. The husband is unaware that his wife is getting sexual satisfaction elsewhere.

4. The husband may just get his jollies watching and doesn’t care for real sex.

5. The husband may be into humiliation and lets his dominatrix wife do as she please to torment him.

6. The wife’s sex drive may be too big for him to accommodate.

7. The husband is bi and gets off being the beta male.

8. There may be blackmail involved.

Some folks will say this is not right, but if everyone is happy with the situation, who are we to comment?  If they are unhappy, well hopefully they will find some help to change their circumstances.

We need to be careful not to confuse cuckolds with swingers.  A cuckold may be a swinger, but not every swinger is a cuckold.  In a swinging relationship, each partner has sex with however many people they desire.  In a cuckold relationship, the Hot Wife gets to have sex with however many people they desire and the cuckold is either faithful or abstinent.  Sometimes they add interracial play for more humiliation.  (Side note: Dr Tim does not believe that having sex with someone from a different race would denigrate anything.)

And do not confuse a Hot Wife with a Slut Wife.  Remember, the Hot Wife has a husband at home who gets no action from his lawfully wedded bride.  Everyone gets the Slut Wife.

A friend of mine who practices this lifestyle tells me that it is the toughest thing in the world for him, but seeing his wife’s happiness makes it all worthwhile.  For years, he told me, she would cuckold him by using toys.  She had him go buy different dildos, vibrators, lubes and lotions.  (All Doc Johnson products!)  Then she made him watch as she pleasured herself.  At first, she let him masturbate while watching.  After a while that stopped.  They purchased a strap-on and a male chastity device.  His junk was locked up and she would use the strap-on to stretch his orifices.  Eventually she started meeting other men and bringing them home to fuck so he could watch.  And yes, he does clean up the cream pies.  Currently he has been in that chastity device for over three years.  They seem very much in love.

How does Dr Tim know so much about his friends’ sex lives?  I get invited to either participate or hold the camcorder.  (I love holding the camcorder!)  In a way, I am a documentarian of sex in America.  I just don’t own any of the footage.

So why are cuckold films becoming so popular?  My best guess is that more and more people are finally becoming more secure in their sexuality.  Men want to fuck other men’s wives and “conquer” their husbands.  Some men want to watch their wives lose themselves in orgasm at another’s hands.  Some men have little to no self-respect and are self-destructive.  (Not nice to make the wives a party to that!)  Some men are submissive and don’t want rights, they want duties.

Some women like having multiple partners, or humiliating/hurting their husbands, will do it to please him or any of a myriad of reasons.  I also read a paper that explains that cuckolding is the first step in establishing a World Gynarchy.  Subdue your husbands and take control kind of stuff.  Scary.

If cuckolding is for you, go get it!  Just remember to love yourself and others.  If you guys truly love each other, there is no wrong way to express it.

Trade Show Fever (or, I am not an ANME-AL)

Well, maybe I am.  Seems there were a couple shows presenting “Implements/Accessories of Personal Sexual Empowerment Strategically Designed for Human (Singular or Multiple) Ascent towards La Petite Mort.”  (Sex toys to get y’all off!  On your own or with friends.)

Of course, I will be covering the ANME show.  That stands for the Adult Novelty Manufacturers Expo.  And since Doc Johnson is one of the Founding Five, we had a ginormous booth!  Yes, there are four others, but hey, this is about us.

Oh the glamour!  Oh the toys!  Oh the lubes!  And even some most excellent eye candy was on display for everyone to enjoy.  Many of my readers have not heard of this show because it is not open to the public.  It is, as they say, B2B or Business to Business.  Folks who sell to folks who sell to folks who sell to folks who use the products.  Manufacturer to Distributor to Stores to You!  Sounds complicated, but it really isn’t.  Just the American Dream in action promoting Freedom of Speech, the Right to Our Own Bodies and money.

Our theme was the “School Of Doc.”  We had a classroom where one could touch, feel and learn all about our very cool products.  We even had video in the background!

Don't Be Late For Class!

Oh Yeah!  We had candy in class.  Bet you never had that before, did you?  (Culinary and confectionary schools don’t count…)  And guess what?  We had a faculty there to show, teach and learn with you!

Nerdy but Dirty Faculty of SOD!

They may have been walking around with clipboards, but those rulers were never far away!  Looks like I am going to stay after class again today.  DANG!  (One great thing about teachers is that they make you do it over and over until you get it right.)

But it wasn’t all fun and games.  There were many serious meetings that took place.  Sharks circling each other, looking for weakness, waiting to pounce and close the deal.  It was tough, make no mistake!

Advanced Business Strategy in Process

The great part however, was renewing old friendships, remembering why you didn’t particularly like someone, seeing what was new and maybe getting a behind closed-door demo of some of the products.  Which, I must add (lawyers insist) that those games are not business related, just friendly slap and tickle between friends.  Those days of bedroom business are long gone.  Yep, everything is uber-professional now.  Business is business.  And playtime is playtime.  (They don’t call me Tim-Bone for nothing, you know.)

People just could not keep their hands off our toys.

Free-Balling!

Although that picture reminds me of my ex-wife and her female lawyer…

Needless to say, there were sights to see, things to do and people to meet.  I had a very productive day meeting with some clients discussing new opportunities so that I can get my boss that new Testarossa.  I’m selfless like that.  Ask around.

And since I’ve learned how to add pictures to my posts.  (Promise to learn how to use fewer later.)  There are some other folks that should be recognised.

More Sales People:

More of the Sales Staff!

The Director of Product Development!  (Everything is his fault…)

I'm not sleeping! Just listening!

And of course, the Big Boss!

He is The MAN!

So everyone will be seeing some really great new toys and lubes coming their way this fall.  I’d say 99% of them will be coming from us, Doc Johnson.  But then you might say I am a wee bit prejudiced.

OK, due to the news, I postponed the talk about SRS, Filet O’Penis and lubes until next week.  Guys can be such fraidy-cats about some things.  Me?  I’m going home and making lasagna!

Note to readers in Southern California.  Stock up on your Doc Johnson toys and lubes.  It is going to be a long weekend, so stay home and enjoy yourself!

National Masturbation Month Part 1 (I’m not jerking you around here!)

Happy National Masturbation Month.

You aren’t a wanker, you are involved in a world-wide celebration!  (Back to the title, I am not jerking you around.  Do your own jerking!  My hands are full.)

This week, we will look into the wonderful world of male masturbation.  You know, jerking off, choking the chicken, dating Rosie Palm and her five Daughters, whipping the weasel (my favorite euphemism), pocket pool, spanking the monkey, drubbing, whatever you call it the result is the same.  Endorphins, feeling great, taking a nap and more sticky, dirty laundry.  Gotta love those cashmere sweat socks.

So how do we do it?  Now that I think about it, how don’t we do it?

You can stroke yourself using your dominant hand, or use your other hand which makes your cock feel bigger, or you can sit on your hand until it goes numb before you use it.  That one is called “The Stranger.”  Which is great if you are short on time or in a hurry.  Which is fine.  Masturbation relieves stress, eases the mind, it gets your body’s hormones running normally and it can help you relax or even fall asleep.  Masturbation is a very important part of our lives.  But as with intercourse, we like to dress it up and play a little.

As you may recall, I am employed by the mighty Doc Johnson!  You have seen their toys everywhere and if you made it to the credits in a porn movie most of the time you will see a line “Toys Courtesy of Doc Johnson.”  And we have everything you need for your self-love exploration!  We have lubricants, pocket pussies, vibrators, cock rings, prostate massagers and more!  (For more about cock rings see: https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/04/29/cock-rings-or-heavy-metal-for-your-junk/)

What’s that?  You’re a guy and don’t need a vibrator?  Maybe you don’t, but would it hurt to try?  Here’s the thing.  Vibrations can help you loosen up and relax.  But it can also stir your libido and create a “Dance in Your Pants!”  There are a couple of ways you can do this.

First, take a vibrating bullet, turn it on and tuck it between your butt cheeks right against your anus.  Sit or lie down and enjoy.  Feel the non-threatening vibration?  Feels good.  Stress is draining right out of your body.  Your eyes half close when the thought of Eva Mendez topless crosses your mind.  Now you are becoming erect and the buzz is feeding your erection.  Reach down and begin to stroke.  Oh yeah!  Nothing beats an orgasm while your prostate is being massaged.  You probably haven’t shot that far since you college.

Now if you are more adventurous, try a direct prostate massager.

Totally Awesome!

You will need some good lube.  Use lots.

Water-based but feels like silicone!

Now gently slide it into place.  As you stroke your cock you will feel it rub against your prostate.  You haven’t been that hard since when?  You will think that your teeth will be sucked through your body at orgasm.  There is even a vibrating version of the prostate massager too!  What are you waiting for?  Go get some!

And some guys like the feeling of a regular vibrator or dildo sliding in and out of their asshole.  You could get a strap-on dildo and harness for your pillow!  Different stokes for different folks.  More power to them!  (Remember this one: https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/08/29/strap-it-on/)

Beside vibrators, there are other great things to help us paint the ceiling.  Ever heard of a Pocket Pussy?  These are great little handheld strokers that can be shaped like a pussy, asshole or mouth.  Fantastic!  Some are even molded from some of your favorite porn stars like Vicky Vette, Sasha Grey or Belladonna.

Not only is she a hot fuck, she is a beautiful person inside.

Get your lube.  I know that some of you guys are still using Vaseline or Baby Lotion.  Get with the program!  If your partner comes over for a quickie, do they want baby lotion inside?  What is they are allergic to the fragrance.  Be a man.  Buy some lube.  Slide into the stroker and well, stroke!  But be careful you will probably shoot out of the other end through the cleaning hole, so have tissue, towels or a willing mouth handy.

Now as you may have guessed, Dr Tim has experiment with these things.  Oh how he has experimented!  For a tighter grip, I like to put the pocket pussy between my mattress and box springs.  That way, I can turn the pages of the magazine, use the remote to fast forward through the awkward talking bits of the video or spank those pillows!  Yeah, take it bed!  Take it all!  Every last inch Baby!  Although I admit spanking the pillows does not have quite the same satisfying sound…

So, we’ve covered the cock, prostate and ass.  I’d like to take a few moments to talk about your balls.

Your balls need love too.  Some guys like to have them gripped, pulled, tugged, twisted or vibrated.  Yes, we can help.  You could take one of those super stretchy cock rings and put your scrotum through it.  It will be snug, but the super stretchy ones allow blood flow so your crown jewels are relatively safe.  Have you ever cum when your balls can’t retract?  Your eyes will bug out!  And you can take one of those super stretchy vibrating cock rings and put it on so that the vibrator is behind your balls!  Now you have the grip and the vibration.  Does a scrotum good!

Of course you can get really fancy by attaching a short leash from the ring around your balls to the clamps on your nipples to keep you from straightening up as a fucking machine strokes your prostate, the motion driving your cock into the stroker under your mattress while being blindfolded wearing a pair of panties.  Not sure how that snuck into my head, but it could happen!

But take care of your balls!

Will have the women lining up to be tea-bagged!

Buy some Nice Nuggets.  It is a light lotion that turns to powder.  It will keep your boys dry and comfortable all day long whether you are a horse jockey or a desk jockey.  Smells manly too.  So give the boys a coat.  Feel around, enjoy your balls!  Avoid the crotch pot cooking and maybe your partner will be too busy using your junk for you to masturbate.

Next week: Female Masturbation: Truth or Fiction?

Cock Rings (or Heavy Metal for Your Junk)

Cock rings.  Not talking about a Prince Albert piercing.  (We can talk about erotic piercing later.)

What is it and why would anyone want to wear some sort of band around their penis or even their scrotum and penis?

A cock ring is a device that encircles the penis or the scrotum and penis to restrict the flow of blood through the region.  You put it on when you are soft so when you erect, blood gets in, but does not get out.  So what’s the point?

It makes you last longer, orgasm harder, your erection is harder, thicker and just a little bit longer.  Often these are prescribed by a urologist as a remedy for erectile dysfunction.  You put the cock ring on, add a vacuum pump and *claps* pump yourself up.  If your ED is not severe or you don’t even have ED (from the amount of commercials I see on the talking parlor box it seems to be an epidemic!) you may just enjoy wearing one.

Dr Tim’s favorite is a thick, heavy stainless steel band that wraps around his entire package.  It increases the sensation similar to someone’s hand wrapped tightly around my excitable bits, and the metal helps me channel my inner barbarian.  You should see the way the veins pop up.  Textured for her pleasure indeed.

But a cock ring does not have be made out of metal.  They can be made out of silicone, leather, nylon, rubber tubing and probably some I have forgotten.  But let’s talk about the safe use of cock rings.

1. Make sure you get a proper fit.  If you are using leather or silicone, there are a variety of snaps and stretchiness to give you a comfortable fit.  Heck, I have even seen some with velcro closures on them.  But metal cock rings are not for beginners.  Grab your junk and a tape measure.  Not the one from your toolbox!  The cloth one from her sewing kit.  (Or yours, I don’t judge.  Wish I had learned a bit more than basic sewing…)  If you are using a larger ring which fits over your cock and balls, wrap the measuring tape around the area behind your testicles and over your penis.  You know, where she grabs you to get your attention.  Make it snug, but not tight.  Take that measurement and divide by 3.14.  This will give you the diameter of the ring you need.

HA!  Made you do geometry!  You just figured out the diameter of a circle by using the circumference.  And all you thought about in geometry class was figuring out you fantasy girl’s cup size.  Heck, I even tried to figure out the water displacement if she lowered those magnificent globes into water.  STAY IN SCHOOL KIDS!

So you take your new metal cock ring, pull your scrotum (or ball bag) through first and then squeeze your penis through.  Told you to do it soft, didn’t I?  Get ready to Unchain Your Beast!  (Or as I like to say when being unzipped, “Release the Kraken!”)

2. OK, we have the right size and we got it on, now what?  Time to get hard.  It will feel rather strange at first.  Like someone has a tight grip on you.  Relax, it’s all good.  Look at how big it is, how thick, how hard, so amazingly masculine.  You are a stallion, baby!  Don’t ever forget it!

However, do not wear it for more than thirty minutes.  It will be easier to remove after orgasm, but long-term wearing could cause some damage.  And damage, especially if you didn’t listen to Dr Tim and bought one that was too tight, can lead to permanent nerve damage, priapism (https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/04/01/priapism-or-how-long-is-too-long/), gangrene which can lead to penile destruction and/or amputation!  Now that would suck.  So pay attention.

3. If your penis becomes cold, turns white or you experience loss of sensation.  Go to the doctor!  And take the ring with you.

Many cock rings have emergency release handles, silicone can be easily stretched or cut off and leather can be unfastened easily.  Several have a textured surface to allow minimal blood return from your erection.  These are not for those of you with ED, see your urologist.  Metal cock rings are not for beginners.

4. Unless prescribed by your physician, cock rings are not for folks taking blood thinners or have diabetes.  Don’t risk your life for a fuck.  Take care of yourself and follow your doctor’s orders!

5. Be careful with your partner.  Sure the cock ring can stimulate her clitoris, but if they can deep throat, watch the teeth.  Your playmate would not really like to explain to the dentist that they chipped their teeth on your metal cock ring.  They may get a discount for having skills, but this is an area that most folks feel uncomfortable discussing.  Oh yes, you may want to trim the pubes.  Trust me.

What else can a cock ring do for you?  Some have vibrators attached for clitoral stimulation or if you reverse it some great under-ball buzzing.  Some have an arm that will reach down and tickle your taint.  You know, it might be easier to go to your local adult emporium and view all of the wonderful cock rings from Doc Johnson.  We have something for everybody!

Guys and Ladies, you really should check out cock rings.  They really bring an extra dimension into your love life.  Why I have even seen women that put a cock ring on their strap-ons!  (Not in real life of course, but on the computer, yeah the computer!)  Functional in the barbarian kind of way, very psychological.

As always, play carefully, take good care of yourself and your partners and maybe next time Dr Tim will tell you what it is like when your Prince Albert gets caught on the shower door handle…

This Sucks! (Blow is just an expression…)

WARNING:  This post contains language which may be considered unsuitable to some.  (Even though you can hear worse on basic cable.)  Do not proceed if frank talk about sex and sexuality offend you.

Music time!  Grab your favorite skin flute or fuzzy harmonica and let’s get those lips, tongues and mouths moving.

Today’s double question comes from one of my most devoted fans.  She hails from the Midwest where people know how to entertain themselves when they get snowed in during the winter.  (And even though I have given her a toy or two, she has never sent me any videos…)

It reads, “Why do women have orgasms from oral stimulation faster than penetration?”  Followed by, “What is it about giving a blowjob that a man loves?  Isn’t penetration good enough?”

Where do we begin?  Why don’t we just “go down” to it and “muff-dive” right in?

Why do women have orgasm from oral stimulation faster than penetration?

To be honest, that is not true of all women.  I have even met a woman who refuses to let her lovers go down on her.  (That means: perform cunnilingus on her.)  However, there are many possible reasons.  First, her man may just not know how to fuck.  You have to get that special pelvic thrust to lift and stimulate the clitoris as you shake, bake and rock her world.  But then, what could be better than lying back on your sofa, cool breeze wafting by, a glass of your favorite beverage in your hand, with your other hand playing lazily in the hair of the lover kneeling between your spread legs giving you pleasure?

(Excuse me, I need a quick shower!)

The mouth is such a versatile  part of the body.  It can change shape, be sharp or soft, trace the alphabet with as much or as little moisture you desire.  The penis goes in and out.  It cannot tickle the clit as well or as easily as the tongue.  A cock cannot hum your favorite tune as it vibrates, flutters and dives deep.  The tongue can slide from the tip of the clit to the sweet spider and back without someone having to guide it.  And if you enjoy being tongue-fucked, then the nose becomes a natural clitoral stimulator! 

Oh the joys of giving and getting face!  And it gives the giver an incredible view while they are down there too.  Up to nipple-peaked hills or the rolling scenery of a beautiful tush.  And have you ever considered riding a dildo or vibrator while a tongue is in action at the same time?  WHOO!!!!

In college we had a couple of teams.  Guys had buttons that said, “I’d rather lick it than stick it.”  The ladies wore, “I’d rather suck it than fuck it.”  So you see, some people just prefer oral sex to genital/anal intercourse.  And there is nothing wrong with that!  The simple answer?  Oral sex is AWESOME!

Which leads me to my insight about men.  Straight or Gay, we all want our dicks sucked.

Why?  For all of the reasons listed above!  Vaginal/anal intercourse is amazing.  The burning hot juices of your lady (or the tight pulsing walls of the anus) scorching the skin of your penis just makes us crazy.  However, I have yet to meet a vagina that can swallow a penis and lick the balls at the same time.  Yes, men love to have their balls licked.  It is a feeling that I simply cannot describe adequately.  And the fact that you can play with our scrotum while you suck just puts us into system overload.  The many variations of manipulations feel so good.  No wonder why we are always playing with ourselves.

Analingus:  I feel that I should mention analingus, also called salad-tossing, kissing the barking spider or rimjobs, here.  Analingus is, of course, the licking, kissing, sucking of the anus.  This is a real turn-on for many and a major turn-off for others.  It can be an excellent pre-anal sex appetizer as well as a post-anal sex treat.  I know several folks that can climax just by receiving a good rimjob.  Personally, I feel that the entire body of your partner should be kissed and loved.  But I understand if you feel differently.

Please note: If taste is a problem, Doc Johnson (who pays me frequently) sells many products to alter your lover’s flavor.  Just a dab of Goodhead, Body Drops or Lick-Me-Licker will add a delightful burst of flavor to your tongue.  And for those adventurous types, look for Wendy William’s Salad-Tossing Spray.  One spritz and you will be begging for more.  Don’t be shy, buy and try them all!

Now someone mentioned to me that it is odd that a woman would ask why she orgasms more easily during oral sex but wonders why penetration is not enough for a man.  Lots of folks feel that way.  Sure it is great to give as good as you get, but if both parties are happy, who cares?  Lick and let lick I always say.  (Unless I don’t.)

After all, isn’t it better to give than receive?

See you all next time when we enter the magical world of female squirters!  Send your comments, questions, home-made videos to: drtim@quantumcogitation.com

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