Vacation! (or Did you miss me?)

Believe it or not, I took a vacation last week.  No, really!  I was not in my laboratory for nine days.  Nine long, empty, meaningless days…

Actually I had a grand time.  It was my first vacation in four years and my third in the last twelve years.  It seems like I take a week off every four years or so.

So what did I do?  Things that would make the Marquis de Sade jump up on a chair and go “Eeek!”

Well, I’m sure that someone would.  I spent two days travelling.  It was nice to see the green fields and blue skies of the Midwest again.  You know, they have air that can be seen through almost all of the time.  Then I came home to study.

Yes you read that correctly, I came home to study.  I was buried in quantum theory, chemistry, mathematics and porn.

A person needs to stay sharp and up-to-date with the latest and greatest theories and inventions.  Who wouldn’t want to unravel the theories of time and the universe while experiencing mind-blowing orgasms?  Somehow I find that climaxing while learning brings me to an amazing brain-gasm.  Nothing like a good cum to fix things in your brain.  The universe seems to open itself up to me during sex.  (Now you understand why I call my Lady Friends, “My World, My Universe.”)

Here you thought I ignored my studies to do a lot of screwing around!  Nonsense.  As serious students, we always recited our class notes during sex.  In fact, that is the main reason people like the dirty talk in the bedroom.  Have you ever said anything naughty that your partner forgot?  Nope, they remember every last thing you said in bed and try to hold you to it.  A lot of jewelry gets sold that way.

Did you know that two people can squeeze into an orgone box?  They can!  If you can have sex in an airplane bathroom, you can make it in an orgone box!  Although that isn’t the point.  One of these days I promise that I will write a blog about Wilhelm Reich.  His work is fascinating.

Back to my vacation!  Out of nine, I had seven days of Science, Sex and Ice Cream.  Hmm, Seven of Nine does make me think about Science, Sex and Ice Cream, although not in that exact order.

However, serious study needs a serious study group.  How fortunate that I know such a group who could really help me concentrate on my studies.  Anything that could happen, did happen!  There were tons of official Doc Johnson toys and lubes which everyone shared to their hearts’ content.  There were strap-ons, oral sex, anal, sex, vaginal sex, armpit sex, straight, gay, trans, couples, singles and more!  Best smorgasm-borg ever!  We really got into some interesting experiments of spacial geometry and I do believe we defied the laws of physics and anatomy more than once.  How many dimensions do we occupy during orgasm?

You would have to see the film to believe it!  But until I star on a reality show, you will probably never have a chance to see it, unless someone posts clips on the internet.  Don’t be a pirate!  Buy your porn!  Somehow the idea of sex tapes going viral seems wrong to me.

So what or who did you do on your summer vacation?  Feel free to send me cards, letters, pictures or video!  Even a postcard would be nice…

Tip Your Waitress Folks (or Looks Do Matter, Sometimes…)

Happy Friday Everyone!

I read an interesting paper (Gueguen, N. Jacob, C., Enhanced female attractiveness with use of cosmetics and male tipping behavior in restaurants, J. Cosmet. Sci., 62, 283-290) today that talks about how the use of makeup seems to increase the tips a waitress can collect.

Apparently they did a study that concludes that female waitresses that wear makeup vs. those that do not wear makeup tend to collect larger tips from male customers.

Can you say, “DUH!”  I knew that you could.

But let’s take a quick look at the ramifications of the study.  According to the study, this was conducted in a laboratory setting.  That will upset some people since they believe that if it isn’t happening in the “real” world, that it doesn’t count.  Well folks, guess what?  Conducting a laboratory trail is the very first step in a field of study.  Scientists that tend to rush right out into the public with an idea are usually labeled extremist or insane and often get a punch in the nose.

Next, the waitresses were instructed to act the same way whether wearing makeup or not.  Again, any study that uses real people has a wild variable in it.  Think of yourself or any woman you know.  Do they act the same with or without makeup?  Not too many that I know.  So there is going to be some give and take on this facet.

During the series of experiments, the same waitress made more money when she wore makeup as opposed to the less she made when she didn’t.  The only difference was the use of makeup.  The service, food and actions were the same.  What does that tell you?

Bottom line: Men tend to give more money to women that they find more desirable.  Or attractive.

It may be sexist or it may be in our genes to provide for the most desirable mate.  I can’t wait for further studies to be published.

And you thought we only stared at your boobs…

Trade Show Fever (or, I am not an ANME-AL)

Well, maybe I am.  Seems there were a couple shows presenting “Implements/Accessories of Personal Sexual Empowerment Strategically Designed for Human (Singular or Multiple) Ascent towards La Petite Mort.”  (Sex toys to get y’all off!  On your own or with friends.)

Of course, I will be covering the ANME show.  That stands for the Adult Novelty Manufacturers Expo.  And since Doc Johnson is one of the Founding Five, we had a ginormous booth!  Yes, there are four others, but hey, this is about us.

Oh the glamour!  Oh the toys!  Oh the lubes!  And even some most excellent eye candy was on display for everyone to enjoy.  Many of my readers have not heard of this show because it is not open to the public.  It is, as they say, B2B or Business to Business.  Folks who sell to folks who sell to folks who sell to folks who use the products.  Manufacturer to Distributor to Stores to You!  Sounds complicated, but it really isn’t.  Just the American Dream in action promoting Freedom of Speech, the Right to Our Own Bodies and money.

Our theme was the “School Of Doc.”  We had a classroom where one could touch, feel and learn all about our very cool products.  We even had video in the background!

Don't Be Late For Class!

Oh Yeah!  We had candy in class.  Bet you never had that before, did you?  (Culinary and confectionary schools don’t count…)  And guess what?  We had a faculty there to show, teach and learn with you!

Nerdy but Dirty Faculty of SOD!

They may have been walking around with clipboards, but those rulers were never far away!  Looks like I am going to stay after class again today.  DANG!  (One great thing about teachers is that they make you do it over and over until you get it right.)

But it wasn’t all fun and games.  There were many serious meetings that took place.  Sharks circling each other, looking for weakness, waiting to pounce and close the deal.  It was tough, make no mistake!

Advanced Business Strategy in Process

The great part however, was renewing old friendships, remembering why you didn’t particularly like someone, seeing what was new and maybe getting a behind closed-door demo of some of the products.  Which, I must add (lawyers insist) that those games are not business related, just friendly slap and tickle between friends.  Those days of bedroom business are long gone.  Yep, everything is uber-professional now.  Business is business.  And playtime is playtime.  (They don’t call me Tim-Bone for nothing, you know.)

People just could not keep their hands off our toys.

Free-Balling!

Although that picture reminds me of my ex-wife and her female lawyer…

Needless to say, there were sights to see, things to do and people to meet.  I had a very productive day meeting with some clients discussing new opportunities so that I can get my boss that new Testarossa.  I’m selfless like that.  Ask around.

And since I’ve learned how to add pictures to my posts.  (Promise to learn how to use fewer later.)  There are some other folks that should be recognised.

More Sales People:

More of the Sales Staff!

The Director of Product Development!  (Everything is his fault…)

I'm not sleeping! Just listening!

And of course, the Big Boss!

He is The MAN!

So everyone will be seeing some really great new toys and lubes coming their way this fall.  I’d say 99% of them will be coming from us, Doc Johnson.  But then you might say I am a wee bit prejudiced.

OK, due to the news, I postponed the talk about SRS, Filet O’Penis and lubes until next week.  Guys can be such fraidy-cats about some things.  Me?  I’m going home and making lasagna!

Note to readers in Southern California.  Stock up on your Doc Johnson toys and lubes.  It is going to be a long weekend, so stay home and enjoy yourself!

Parabens – Part III (More Info Still!)

Here we are, back again to the parabens.  It may seem like this is a never-ending debate.  But that is fine with me.  Further debate leads to further investigation.  And further investigation may eventually lead us to some solid answers.  I’m a scientist.  I like solid answers, but truth is ever evasive.  As long as everyone is different, there may never be a final answer.

So let’s take a look at the latest information.  It comes to use from the Scientific Committee on Consumer Safety (SCCS) through the European Commission.  It is an independent non-food scientific committee with no financial gain from industry for their work.

The “Opinion on Parabens” paper can be found here: http://ec.europa.eu/health/scientific_committees/consumer_safety/docs/sccs_o_041.pdf

It is some 35 pages long and gets deep into scientific lingo.  So I will try to sort it out for you.

Most parabens are OK.  Methylparaben and Ethylparaben are restricted to 0.40% by weight while Propylparaben and Butylparaben are restricted to 0.19% by weight.  Oh, if more than one paraben is used, they are restricted to .80% by weight in a formula.  Sound good?  Most cosmetic/personal care/personal lubricant formulations do not ever use them at that high of a level.  The most I have ever seen is around 0.40% by weight when using three of the four.

So looks like we are home and dry?  No.  We haven’t really even reached for a warm fluffy towel yet.

The Commission wants more data.  The rat and mouse models (yes, animal testing) do not have enough correlation to a human model.  They are asking for more in vivo human tests.  (In vivo means testing on a live creature, in vitro is testing in a petri dish.)  There are a few other parabens which have not been tested, but no one uses those in and personal care application.

It appears that parabens whether applied subcutaneously or orally rapidly metabolize into PHBA which is found in all plants and is expected to naturally occur in humans.  It is quickly passed through the system through our urine and faeces.  However, intact parabens have been found in the urine and/or serum and seminal plasma.

That is why the SCCS set the above stated limits, because they need more data.  They set the threshold much higher than the Industry’s recommendation.  Enough animal tests, we need to test on humans.  Pretty scary, huh?  Want to be a human test subject?  I would!

Bottom Line Straight from the Report: 

With respect to the safe use of parabens as cosmetic ingredients, concern was expressed as to the potential endocrine modifying effects of parabens of higher chain length including Propylparaben, Butylparaben and related iso compounds. Benzylparaben was also of concern. Based upon the currently available in vitro data and in vivo rodent test results, the SCCS agrees that the estrogenic properties displayed by parabens appear to increase with increasing chain length. Nevertheless, the SCCS stresses that the displayed potency levels remain about 3 to 6 orders of magnitude lower than the potency of the positive controls.

So the jury is still out, but the deliberation is drawing near a close.  We should have more definitive answers in 4-5 more years.  Stay tuned…

Questions?  Love Letters?  Topics?  Nude Pictures?  Send them to me at: drtim@quantumcogitation.com

 

 

Happy New Year! (And it looks great!)

Here we are again.  Another year older and deeper in debt.  But, most of us are still working, are relatively healthy and get enough to eat.  Yay us!

I get comments from folks that my job must be a non-stop thrill-ride.  That I must have more fun on a Monday morning than most people do all weekend.  And they are mostly correct.  However, there is also great sacrifice and dedication that goes into my work.  Do you think I would give anyone a product to try that I haven’t used myself?

No, I wouldn’t.  And I wouldn’t expect anyone to try anything that hasn’t been tested on myself or one of my lab slaves.

Let me tell you about sacrifice.

There are a couple of major trade shows going on this week and weekend.  There will be toys, lubes, dvds, major porn performers and more!  But do you think these things just happen?  Heck to the NO!

I spent my New Year’s Eve weekend testing new products with a most wonderfully open-minded group of like individuals.  (Some of whom you have seen in films…)  There were women, men, trans, midgets, all colors, shapes and sizes, you name it, they were there.  We started Friday afternoon and continued on to Sunday Lunchtime.  And let me tell you, there was no toy, lube, position, combination or video left undone.  Nothing was left unprobed.  Some products passed with flying colors.  Some went to the recycle bin.  Most were used up and worn out.  Just like us.

The lubes had to reduce the friction co-efficient adequately to facilitate multiple rounds of penetration of varying depths and rates of acceleration.  Which means they had to be slippery as all get out, fast or slow and last long enough for everyone to be happy.  There were all types of products to lube, eat and drink for every occasion.  (Most of which are still Top Secret so I can’t tell you much yet!)

The Good Old Doc himself went into sensory overload more than once.  And I am pretty experienced so that should tell you something.  It was probably Monday afternoon before the buzzing in my ears stopped.  Oh the toys!  The colors, the colors!  Oh the humanity!  Thank goodness they finally untied me.

But we did it.  For you.  Because we care.  Your pleasure is our business and we aim to please.

So next time you think we have some of the best jobs in the world, think again.

We do…

Resolved! (Is it even possible for me to be better?)

Good Old Dr Tim has come to your rescue and jotted down some ideas for 2011.  Give them a shot…

Resolutions for the New Year:

1. Enjoy myself more. 

How can I enjoy myself more?  Well, as the old song says, “Masturbation can be fun!”  Really, if you are single, partnered or married a little bit of self-love is a wonderful thing.  After all, how can you direct your lover to your most sensitive erogenous zones if you don’t know where they are located?  Let your hands roam your body, do it in front of the mirror, with your eyes closed however you like, but leave no inch of skin untouched.  Discover what a light touch vs a heavy touch does for you.  Ah, the things you will discover!  While you are at it, get a nude full body massage.  Personally, my favorite bits of a full body massage are my head and my feet.  Who knew?

2. Enjoy others more.

Take the time to pay very close attention to your partner and loved ones.  Just like you, there are probably things they would enjoy if they knew about them.  Give them a slow sensuous massage and see where it leads.  Pay attention to those out-of-the-way spots and build up the sensations.  Tease, tease, tease, tease some more, then taste.  Unbelievable!  They go nuts!

3. Try new things.

Buy lots and lots of sex toys sold by Doc Johnson!  Do it!  (Remember?  I work there.  ‘Nuff said.)  I have it on excellent authority that the Pocket Rocket is magic!  (I use one too…)

Seriously, try new things.  Share a book, video, sex toy catalog (hint, hint) with your lover.  Talk openly and as honestly as possible about new adventures.  Back door?  Yours or hers? Check out my archives.  There is an excellent article about strap-ons (https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/08/29/strap-it-on/), anal sex (https://quantumcogitation.com/2010/04/30/interesting-question-caution-naughtiness-ahead/), the clitoris (https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/10/15/the-amazing-clitoris/), premature ejaculation (https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/12/22/premature-ejaculation-what-too-soon/) and more!

4. Open yourself to love and forgiveness.

And start with yourself.  Nobody is rougher on me than I am.  My dear, dear friend Taylor opened my eyes though.  Once I forgave myself for my shortcomings and began to like myself better, well everything changed.  My eating habits got better, I slept better, I exercise more, weight is falling off of me too.  That woman probably saved my life.  Love you!  So scoff if you like, but it really can help.  And when you are open to love, you are open for business.  A good positive vibe is very sexy and draws people into your circle.  Several of them would probably love to sleep with you too!  Saddle up!

5. Talk to someone.

It is a wonderful thing to be open up and express yourself without fear of recrimination.  Freedom never tasted so good.  You are not alone in your thoughts.  Hopefully your partners can do this with you.  If not, do you have a friend with whom you can discuss anything?  A therapist?  Or an unshockable group of warm caring folks?  (Check out my Blogroll.  One of the world’s best is there.  I’m looking at you Dr. Suzy!)

6. Summing up.

To quote a fictional character from a book, when asked to explain the universe he said, “It’s a funny old world.”

So relax, open up, enjoy yourself more and you will see that you didn’t really have to change much at all.  2011 looks like it is going to be another wild ride.  So buckle up, grab some condoms, sex toys from Doc Johnson and full speed ahead!

And if you don’t find your favorite fetish discussed or have a question, write to me!  We can also go into greater detail about older posts.  I’ll answer your question and will probably dedicate a post to it.  My email address is: drtim@quantumcogitation.com

Major Turn-ons (Not for Everyone…)

Today’s Early Morning Question:  Dr Tim, what is your number one, mind-shattering, earth-moving major turn-on?

Since it was barely 6:30 this morning, my first response was, “Breakfast?”  After all, isn’t that something a man yearns for every single day of his life?

My answer was deemed unsatisfactory.  Imagine that.  Now imagine Dr Tim imagining that.  Now imagine Dr Tim imaging that while wearing a speedo and furry boa.  (I’m in your head forever now…)

Turn-ons.  The magic fetish that sends your libido into overdrive.  Yes, a turn-on is considered a fetish.  And although the word ‘fetish” has been co-opted by television and the movies to mean “hot babe in leather” it is a much more complex than that.  (Do not stop sending me those pictures of hot babes in leather though.  I’m writing a paper, yeah that’s it!)  Even the media is beginning to loosen up.  I was watching “Attack of the Show” recently and have been enjoying the WTF segment.  They have shown America several interesting fetishes that may shock, amuse or bore you.

Lipstick fetish – the application of multiple layers of lip color.  Sometimes garish, mostly elegant.  This appears to be a more specific version of a make-up fetish stemming from young folks watch their Mother go through their make-up ritual every day.  It truly is amazing to watch the transformation.  The art, the precision, the glamour.  Really, I could watch and watch unless we are late for our reservations.

Vacuum beds – where a person is put into a giant latex bag and all of the air is removed leaving the person immobilized and helpless.  Now there is some hot sweaty fun.  The two hosts took turns in the bag and their reactions were priceless.  The fact that this was being performed by a hot babe in fetish gear did not hurt.  It helped build the scene.

Ear Cleaning – this may have been a spoof, but how good does it feel to use that cotton-tipped stick in your ear?  Uh-huh, thought so.  I never thought about taking it further, but it looks like it works!

So a fetish can really be anything that gets you going.  Shoes, stockings, army boots and kick to the nads, whatever.  I have a lady friend that loves to clean house.  It gets her warmed up and then she rides the vibration of the vacuum cleaner to climax.  Hey, I don’t judge and my place gets a thorough cleaning to boot!

Whatever puts you in motion is fine.  Just make sure that all the players are on board and nobody is made to do something they don’t want to do.  (By force or guilt.)  If your fetish concerns non-consenting partners, please get help.  You may have some issues and that just isn’t healthy.

Oh, my major turn-on?  I may be showing my age, but my biggest turn-on is intimacy.  Yep, having that special someone who knows everything about you and sleeps with you anyway!  It goes both ways and that is very exciting for me.

Have fun, play safe and keep those cards, letters, pictures and videos coming in!

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