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Relax Asshole (or, R & Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr)

Perhaps a few of you remember the sexy blonde with major boobage I mentioned earlier this year.  If you don’t, for shame.  Re-read about her here: https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/04/15/erotic-spitting-or-how-is-it-raining-in-the-bedroom/

We were having a great conversation about new concepts in sexual health and wellness when out of the blue she asked, “How do you fall asleep on those nights when the world keeps you awake?”

She caught me at a weak moment.  Couldn’t help but tell her the plain unvarnished truth.  You should have seen her eyes light up.  How could I resist?  I mean, her boobs got in my eyes and everything!  Someday we will have to discuss this reoccurring dream I have about her.

But before we get into how Dr Tim relaxes on nights when he is carrying all of the world’s problems on his shoulders, let’s look at our souls.

Yes, it is about to get all metaphysical up in here!  What makes us “us?”  Who are you and how did you get that way?

Beats the heck out of me.  I am not even sure where is soul is located.  From all of my studies, it is believed to be located everywhere from the third eye to the brown eye.  Some even believe that the soul is in the blood.  I’ve had my cholesterol checked, but never has my doctor asked for a soul level.  Only Brothers and Sisters have ever gauged my Soul Level.  Solid!

The soul apparently is everything from your conscience to your mind to your very life force.  So we do not know where it is or even what it is, but we know that we have one.  Or some depending on your point of view.  Perhaps some of us do not even have one.  Maybe only so many souls were created and we have out-populated the number available.  There are thousands of people walking around without one.  Why are there so many more heartless criminals that stare at you with empty eyes?  They have no soul to care.  And those of us with souls are there to feel the pain and lie awake night after night.

How do I sleep?  Usually on my side.  I’ll cuddle you so hard and then spoon the hell out of you!

Seriously  though, on those nights that stretch out forever while being boycotted by the Sandman, I turn to Doc Johnson!  And you should too!

I don’t know if my soul is in my asshole, but I do know that is a major tension center.  Ever hear the phrase, “That tight-ass Mofo needs to relax!”

Tension Relief!

Here is my secret: I know they call it a clit stick, but I take that little beauty, turn it on and sandwich it between my cheeks with the tip just touching my asshole.  The tension just seems to drain away and I am sound asleep within 5-10 minutes.  Why?  I don’t know.  Maybe it massages my soul or simply helps me to relax.  Regardless of why, the sleep of the innocent lasts all night long.  I do have to replace the batteries fairly often since I do not wake up turn it off.  It is also kind of fun to figure out where it went during the night too.  Does that make me gay?  No.  It makes me secure.  Read about men and anal play here: https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/08/29/strap-it-on/

I’ll need it tonight however, all I can think about is sexy blonde with major boobage using a vibrator on her asshole.  She waxes.  Everything.  E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g!

There may be some serious weasel-whipping going on tonight as well.  Cold shower anyone?

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