Doors (What is behind Door Number Three?)


Why doors?  I am sitting at my desk on a Friday afternoon and have been watching the crew install a new door on my lab.  They tore out the old swollen door, reamed out the opening and are installing a brand new, high-security door.  And they keep singing the Mickey Mouse theme song.  If only this were Wednesday, then anything could happen!

So what do doors have to do with sex and sexuality?

Well, thanks to Jim Morrison, my college escapades were legendary!  Some day I will write a book that scandalizes future generations.  But those weren’t The Doors I was going to discuss.  Doors are like smiles.  There are doors that make you happy, there are doors that make you blue.  Ponder that for a moment.  Doors go both ways.  Which doors are you happy to open?  Your bedroom door?  Her/His/Their door?

What about the door to your favorite restaurant or your favorite porn shop?  (Excuse me, Lifestyle Sexuality Empowerment Facility, where you can find many instruments of self-exploration and joy by Doc Johnson!)  Is it the door or what is behind it?  Or the moment of “What if?” as you reach for the knob?

My vote is for the “What if?” moment.  And that my friend is a totally different kind of door.  It is the one you constructed in your mind.  The part that excites you because you think you know what is on the other side, but you don’t know how the experience will go down.

 As I mentioned, doors go both ways.  They let things out or they can keep things in.  The Dark Side of the Door.  All of us have something locked away in our mental closet that brings us pain.  Or prevents us from ever really enjoying our life.  Simple choice, hard decision.  Some things should remain locked away.  Acknowledged, but firmly behind bars.

But if it SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual) rip that door off its hinges!  If you are gay, be gay.  If you are straight, be straight.  If you are trans, make the move.  If you are bisexual, you just doubled your chance for a date this weekend!  (Apologies to Woody Allen.)

Me?  Well, I’m a tush guy.  As attributed to Burt Reynolds, “If what’s behind don’t catch my eye, what’s up front don’t affect my fly.”  There’s other stuff, sure.  But that is between my partners and me.  Applications are cheerfully accepted.

So live a little, be nice to yourself and play safe.  We’ll talk more later.

(And to those of you who were expecting a post about backdoor/anal sex, maybe on Wednesday…)

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