Quantum Cogitation

I was roaming around some other blogs and ran across an interesting entry on www.funsextoyreview.wordpress.com about love bullets.  I did mention early on that we would not only discuss chemicals and materials, but that we would, from time to time, address the emotional impact of sex toys and cosmetics as well.  Here we go.

(OK, for transparency sake, her blog is a sister blog to mine and we work at the same company.  That is not going to change my point: She mentions using a sex toy in conjunction with her partner.  Secondary vibrations are awesome!  Read her blog.  Tell her Tim sent you.)

Using sex toys or as we called them in the old days marital aids, is a wonderful addition to your bedroom repetoire.  But there are a few things to think about before you do…

Some guys have a problem with sex toys.  There it is.  Right out in the open.  Dildos and vibrators can be rather intimidating.  Sex toys are low maintenance, always ready to go, they don’t need their egos stroked, they never had a bad day, and never ask you to do weird things!  I mean, when was the last time your dildo asked you to make him a grilled cheese sandwich?  

Oh yeah, dildos are larger than a majority of men too.  *sigh*   It is hard enough trying to be a man these days, but to have your lady bring a big rubber penis into your bedroom?  What is she saying?  Aren’t I enough for her?  Does she want to leave me?  Does she expect me to touch another penis?  Even if it is fake?  My dick isn’t that small is it?  More issues than a newstand.

I am talking to the men here:  Relax!  You’re fine.  She is looking to increase your excitement and create a closer bond with you.  Haven’t you ever wished you could do two or more things at once with her?  Now you can!  She will love the additional stimulation and vibrations.  Don’t be surprised if she wants to have sex more often!

She is not leaving.  If she was, she wouldn’t be trying new things in the bedroom with you.  Everyone has a secret itch that needs scratching.  Be honored she trusts you enough to let you in on her secret.  Yes, you are that much of a stud.  Besides, unless you are swingers, she does not want anyone else in bed with you!  She loves you.  She wants you.  She is crazy about your dick.  And no, touching a rubber penis does not make you gay.  Think of it as a tool in your bedroom toolbox.  Kind of like a special hammer or “screw”driver.  Imagine being a handyman with everything she needs in and under your toolbelt.  (Hard hat optional)

Ladies: Do not sneak up behind your man wearing a strap-on.  Unless he is into it.

So it all comes down to communication and intimacy.  Discuss your feelings and fantasies in a safe environment.  It is OK to get turned on during the discussion.  Try not to grab each other until the conversation is finished.  I know it is hard to hide that horrified look on your face at some particular fantasy, acknowledge but don’t condemn the kinky thoughts.  Never say never, but don’t let yourself be talked into something you really, really don’t want to do.  Either of you.

Sex toys are fun.  I love them!  They can add a new dimension to your lovemaking.  They can take your intimacy to another level.  They can really improve your sexual health as an individual and as a couple.  After all, what is hotter than than leaving your partner exhausted and totally satisfied?

Nothing.  Not even a grilled cheese sandwich.