I’ll try to keep this short.
Folks, have you ever been in a sexual situation where the game was over before the coin toss decided? Then you may have had an experience with premature ejaculation. What does that really mean?
Premature ejaculation is when a man has an orgasm sooner than he or his partner would like. If it just happens once in a while, that is fairly normal and reciting baseball scores or thinking of Aunt Martha’s arm fat may slow you down just enough. However, if it a regular occurance, you may want to look into the issue.
Folks used to think that premature ejaculation was purely a psychological problem, but modern medicine has determined that there are physical causes as well. Let’s take a quick look at it. First, there is no medical standard as to how long a man should last before orgasm. The largest indicator is that orgasming too soon causes distress or concern between partners. But remember, there doesn’t have to be a partner. You can also experience premature ejaculation during masturbation. The question is, “Does it bother you?”
There are many possible causes. Psychologically, perhaps you have established a mental pattern which could include having to rush to orgasm to avoid being caught or feelings of guilt over sex. Yes, you can train your body to respond through repeated actions or thoughts. So please, be nice to yourselves.
Biologically, it could be caused by abnormal hormone levels, abnormal levels of neurotransmitters, abnormal reflex activity of the ejaculatory system, thyroid, inflammation or infection of the prostate or urethra or unspecified inherited traits. So it could be a combination of problems, or a single source. Current thought leans towards a single source if this has been a lifelong problem. Of course this can all be complicated by impotence (we’ll talk about this later), stress, medication or health problems.
When should you seek help? If you are unhappy, talk to your doctor! I cannot stress enough that your doctor has heard it all before and can help. Don’t fear the MD! Are there some things you can try before going to the doctor? Sure!
Try the Squeeze Technique. Begin sexual contact as normal. If it feels like you are going to ejaculate, have your partner squeeze your penis right where the head meets the shaft until the feeling goes away. It should only be several seconds. Then continue. Don’t worry if you go a little soft. Simba will be up for the challenge as soon as sexual activity resumes. Repeat as necessary, soon you may be able to control the feelings without squeezing.
Squeeze 101
Or…
You could masturbate an hour or two before sex. The second orgasm almost always take longer to reach. (Which reminds me of a joke: A man picks up a sex worker for a paid encounter. After she disrobes she sees him in the corner masturbating furiously. She asks him why and he replies, “For $100 you’re not getting the easy one!”) Or as a couple, you can decide not to have intercourse every time and focus on other sexual activities which may relieve some of the performance anxiety. It may also help you feel more comfortable in your sexuality as well.
My friend Karinna Kittles-Karsten (www.sacredlove.com) is a strong believer in Sexual Toning. She is brilliant. Check out her website, you’ll thank me for it someday. But don’t forget to thank her too. Here is how she describes Sexual Toning: Note: if you have a urinary tract infection, consult a physician before attempting. 1. Come into a squat position with your heels turned in slightly. Elbows between your knees, bring hands into a prayer position. 2. Inhale and contract the small muscular area between your anus and genitals. 3. Exhale and relax the muscles. Repeat nine times to start. When you become comfortable, work up to 3-4 sets a day.
Work those PC Muscles!
You can also work this area sitting at your desk.
Then we have topical medications. There is a category of Over the Counter Drugs (OTC) called Male Genital Desensitizers. These can be creams, gels or sprays usually containing benzocaine or lidocaine. These are sprayed/massaged on the head of the penis, under the head in particular. After a few moments, there will be a mild numbing effect. This will theoretically delay the physical sensations that lead to premature ejaculation. Be sure to use it five minutes or so before engaging in intercourse. After all, we just want to slow ourselves down, not numb our partner, right? These products can be found in drugstores, on-line and in high class adult emporiums. Male Genital Desensitizers are recognised drugs that are regulated by the FDA. Only FDA registered OTC manufacturers can produce them. Your penis is serious business and believe it or not, the US Government wants to protect it!
This is a drug folks!
(Say, Topco Sales and Basic Solutions are FDA registered OTC manufacturers! What a lucky coincidence.)
So, if you suffer from premature ejaculation, you do not have to suffer alone. Talk to your partner, talk to your doctor, get yourself in better physical shape, increase your sexual repertoire, use a topical product for those precious extra minutes. You are a stallion. Never forget that.
Quantum Cogitation 