Take Your Time! (It’s not a race to the grave…)

06 Oct 2009 Leave a comment

by Mystertim in Anatomy, cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Fashion, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, sex toys, sexuality Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Practice what you preach.

Being the father of a 17-year-old boy, this phrase echos in my head quite frequently.  Today I stopped to think about that and what it means to my career and my life.

I can guess what you are thinking.  “Oh great!  A maudlin, self-indulgent rant in an attempt to cleanse his soul and make peace with the world since his life is probably well past half-over.”

Close.  (Sure enough, Horowitz playing Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata just came on my iPod.)

Can't you just hear it?

Can't you just hear it?

This is a short spiel about longing, need and redemption.  I am a big believer in redemption.  I believe it down to my bones that we can pull it off.  Let’s get back to the point.

Folks talk about what is good for you.  What you should eat, how to have sex, how to live your life.  But do they ever follow their advice?  I knew a sexologist who no longer had sex because they were tired of it.  If one does not stay up to date on their chosen field, how can they teach?

Last month I talked about sex toys and fashion.  What the heck do I know?  Well, plenty.  I personally have over two dozen pairs of shoes, more jackets than I can ever wear and a whole dresser full of sex toys and lubricants.

And I take the time to use them.  Why promote or sell something that you would never use?  My first question when I make something in the lab is, “Would I buy and use this?”  If the answer is “No!” then I go back to the bench and work it out.  I won’t even accept a “Maybe.”  If I won’t use it, how could I expect anyone else to use it?

You may laugh, be shocked, disgusted or wonder exactly what toys I own and use.  Really, that’s none of your business.  You have to buy and download the clips off the internet like everyone else.  But even though I work at one of the largest adult novelty manufacturers in the USA, I don’t use everything they make.  Because it is not right for me.  And that is the point of this convoluted missive.

Have you ever done anything willingly or been talked into doing something of a sexual nature that left you feeling dirty, despairing and crying?  I hope not.  That is not a very good place to be emotionally.  If you did it to please someone else, that was probably not a good idea.  Despite the backlash I may get from a few communities, no one really wants to feel used and unloved.  Nobody.  And that is not a healthy outlet for your sexuality.

Lie down and tell me all about it...

Lie down and tell me all about it...

My parents, always told me to wait to have sex as long as possible.  Do you think I listened?  Not a chance.  As a wise woman told me once, “I get in where I fit in!”  And guess what?  I had many Walk of Shame moments.  Some of which are forever recorded and out of my control.  That’s life.

So what did I do?  I took the time to learn about my own particular sexuality.  I used many types of toys and implements of mass destruction.  And I learned what works for me.  Who works for me.  What styles work for me.  I learned my personal rhythm.

Did I need the toys?  Sure!  But to (badly) paraphrase Carlos Castaneda, not every pupil needs the same stimulants.  Do you need sex toys?  I hope so!  I get paid that way!

So when you talk to your children or nieces/nephews or whomever and tell them that sex is a wonderful, sacred thing.  Are you speaking from experience or just talking out of your ass?

Take some time to experience truly good sex.  Either by yourself or with someone.  Experiment, find out what makes you tick.  Find your personal rhythm.  Tap into the Orgone energy of the universe.  (We will discuss Orgone energy and Wilhelm Reich later.) 

Orgone Box

Orgone Box

Harnessing Orgone Energy

 

 

 

Enrich your life and soul with uber-satisfying orgasms and feel the love of the universe.  (Oh yeah, use my products too!)  Either every day is sacred or none of them are.

Be good to yourself.  Practice what you preach.

I’ve got a good feeling about this…

Tricky, tricky, tricky (or The Economy and You)

17 Jul 2009 Leave a comment

by Mystertim in cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Plastics, Psychology, Science, sex toys, sexuality Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

So, how’s it going these days?

A little rough?  Yeah, here too.  I mean the economy, the environment, politics, well everything is getting complicated.

For example: To save the Earth, stop using plastic bags!  Makes sense.  Plastic takes a long time to break-down and quite frankly the landfills are stuffed with plastic bags and bottles.  But guess what?  I put “Plastic bag manufacturer” + “plant closure” into a search engine and discovered that globally over 30,000 people have lost their jobs due to factories that make those plastic bags have had to close!  Decreased demand equals decreased supply equals decreased employment.

The economy is tanking, people are losing their jobs and you would rather save the planet?  Like I said, tricky.

And that brings me to sex toys.

How?  Easy.  When my mind gets frantic with political correctness, war, trauma, the economy, etc, nothing clears the mind better (in less time than time than meditation) than a good orgasm.  A good orgasm clears the mind, relieves the stress and generally brightens the day.  Now when it comes to orgasming, I’m a pretty handy guy. 😉

But sometimes you need more to really make it memorable.  Whether you are with your significant other, a friendly group or flying solo, toys and lubes can help.  And while there are many, many excellent products on the market, you should buy everything that my company makes.  (Remember the bit about decreased demand?  Daddy needs to get paid!)  There are all types of strokers, dildos, butt plugs, vibrators, cock rings, pumps, lubes, creams and stuff for every taste and every flavor.  If you aren’t sure what to buy, ask me!  I can help.

“But Dr Tim!” you say, “Everything seems so expensive!”  Well, yes.  Good sex toys can be pricey, but look at it this way: You could buy a sex swing, a good vibrator and some lube or go on vacation.  A vacation is over in a week, but those sex toys are something you will have for a long, long time.  (Apologies to Woody Allen.)

So leave your inhibitions at the door, grab your favorite partner or toy, put Skinimax on the flat screen and get it on!  Remember porn stars only have you in mind!  And do what they do just for you and at some level of personal risk as well.  God bless them one and all!

Slide it, slip it, clamp it or tie it.  Whatever gets you there.  I don’t judge, but studies have shown that folks with frequent sexual activity tend to be more even-tempered, calm, cool and collected.  You are cool aren’t you?  Some say that everyone should have at least three orgasms a week.

So I’m doing my bit.  How about you?

The Amazing Clitoris

15 Oct 2008 4 Comments

by Mystertim in Anatomy, Female, Physiology, Psychology, Science, sexuality Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Pop Quiz!

Is the clitoris more like an iceberg or a paper airplane?  Use both sides of your paper if necessary.

BOTH!!  But unless you have made a specific study of the body part in question, you may be amazed by that answer.  Let’s get scientific…

You may be familiar with the glans of the clitoris, or “the little man in the boat” as it was called back in my youth.  But the actual structure is much larger, with most of it hidden internally by bone and fat.  Just like an iceberg!  You see only the tip, but there is more, much more!  Now imagine a paper airplane.  Start at the point.  That is the glans.  Now follow the two wings outward at an angle.  These are the two arms of the clitoris.  They extend almost to where the muscles that run up the inner thigh end.  That makes the area where the inner leg meets the pelvis pretty sensitive.  No wonder she loves it when you nibble there!  Between the arms are two bulbs, one on each side of the vaginal opening.  Check out the illustration:

Anatomy

Anatomy

You may be wondering just what the heck all this does.  We have an idea, but believe it or not, the female sexual organs have never been studied as much as the men’s.  In fact much of what we now know about the clitoris has been recently re-discovered in the 1980’s.  No that isn’t a typo.  I really wrote since the 1980’s.  Kinda sad, huh?  For a long time, medical texts basically ignored the female sex stuff.  I read that the best information was from dissections done over a hundred years ago and that wasn’t quite accurate.

So, does the clitoris have a function?  Absolutely!  Lots of them!  Probably more than we have already figured out too.  For example, the clitoris surrounds the urethra on three sides while the fourth is embedded in the vaginal wall.  When stimulated, the erectile tissue swells and helps close the urethra possibly preventing bacteria from entering and causing bladder infections.  Yes, it can and does happen.  The bulbs swell keeping the vagina firm to aid penetration.  And you thought only men had erectile tissue.  Another favorite function is of course, aiding in orgasm.   We should talk about orgasms sometime.  Let’s plan it over coffee.

So from the look of things, it is possible that the G-Spot is really part of the clitoris.  Nibbling of the hip joints and pressure on the pubic bone all seem to make sense when you consider the total anatomy.  There may even be no difference among clitoral, vaginal and anal orgasms as everything seems to be tied together.  Fascinating!

So who finally did all this research?  Well one of the most important people you can thank Helen E. O’Connell (Department of Surgery, University of Melbourne, Parkville, Victoria, Australia and Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology, University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, Michigan) who has been spearheading the research into the anatomy and physiology of the clitoris and has been doing a lot of great work on health issues that effect women.  Hopefully with her work, urinary surgeries could be accomplished without compromising sexuality.  Just as prostate operations can leave some men partially impotent, many surgeries can damage the nerve pathways affecting the clitoris.  (The illustration is from her paper “Clitoral Anatomy in Nulliparous, Healthy, Premenopausal Volunteers Using Unenhanced Magnetic Resonance Imaging” written with John O. L. DeLancey.  J Urol. 2005 June; 173(6): 2060-2063)  It’s a good read if you into that knid of thing.  (And I am!)

It’s about time.

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