Take Your Time! (It’s not a race to the grave…)

06 Oct 2009 Leave a comment

by Mystertim in Anatomy, cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Fashion, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, sex toys, sexuality Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Practice what you preach.

Being the father of a 17-year-old boy, this phrase echos in my head quite frequently.  Today I stopped to think about that and what it means to my career and my life.

I can guess what you are thinking.  “Oh great!  A maudlin, self-indulgent rant in an attempt to cleanse his soul and make peace with the world since his life is probably well past half-over.”

Close.  (Sure enough, Horowitz playing Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata just came on my iPod.)

Can't you just hear it?

Can't you just hear it?

This is a short spiel about longing, need and redemption.  I am a big believer in redemption.  I believe it down to my bones that we can pull it off.  Let’s get back to the point.

Folks talk about what is good for you.  What you should eat, how to have sex, how to live your life.  But do they ever follow their advice?  I knew a sexologist who no longer had sex because they were tired of it.  If one does not stay up to date on their chosen field, how can they teach?

Last month I talked about sex toys and fashion.  What the heck do I know?  Well, plenty.  I personally have over two dozen pairs of shoes, more jackets than I can ever wear and a whole dresser full of sex toys and lubricants.

And I take the time to use them.  Why promote or sell something that you would never use?  My first question when I make something in the lab is, “Would I buy and use this?”  If the answer is “No!” then I go back to the bench and work it out.  I won’t even accept a “Maybe.”  If I won’t use it, how could I expect anyone else to use it?

You may laugh, be shocked, disgusted or wonder exactly what toys I own and use.  Really, that’s none of your business.  You have to buy and download the clips off the internet like everyone else.  But even though I work at one of the largest adult novelty manufacturers in the USA, I don’t use everything they make.  Because it is not right for me.  And that is the point of this convoluted missive.

Have you ever done anything willingly or been talked into doing something of a sexual nature that left you feeling dirty, despairing and crying?  I hope not.  That is not a very good place to be emotionally.  If you did it to please someone else, that was probably not a good idea.  Despite the backlash I may get from a few communities, no one really wants to feel used and unloved.  Nobody.  And that is not a healthy outlet for your sexuality.

Lie down and tell me all about it...

Lie down and tell me all about it...

My parents, always told me to wait to have sex as long as possible.  Do you think I listened?  Not a chance.  As a wise woman told me once, “I get in where I fit in!”  And guess what?  I had many Walk of Shame moments.  Some of which are forever recorded and out of my control.  That’s life.

So what did I do?  I took the time to learn about my own particular sexuality.  I used many types of toys and implements of mass destruction.  And I learned what works for me.  Who works for me.  What styles work for me.  I learned my personal rhythm.

Did I need the toys?  Sure!  But to (badly) paraphrase Carlos Castaneda, not every pupil needs the same stimulants.  Do you need sex toys?  I hope so!  I get paid that way!

So when you talk to your children or nieces/nephews or whomever and tell them that sex is a wonderful, sacred thing.  Are you speaking from experience or just talking out of your ass?

Take some time to experience truly good sex.  Either by yourself or with someone.  Experiment, find out what makes you tick.  Find your personal rhythm.  Tap into the Orgone energy of the universe.  (We will discuss Orgone energy and Wilhelm Reich later.) 

Orgone Box

Orgone Box

Harnessing Orgone Energy

 

 

 

Enrich your life and soul with uber-satisfying orgasms and feel the love of the universe.  (Oh yeah, use my products too!)  Either every day is sacred or none of them are.

Be good to yourself.  Practice what you preach.

I’ve got a good feeling about this…

Fashion Week!!! (Looking Good, Feeling Better)

11 Sep 2009 3 Comments

by Mystertim in Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Fashion, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, sex toys, sexuality Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

It is Fashion Week in New York!  What a wonderful time of year.  Brisker temperatures, changing colors and hundreds if not thousands of Fashionistas invade the Big Apple!  All the major designers, all the major models all in one place making a difference in the way we look and dress.  It is truly inspiring.  Their influence is undeniable.

barbie_runway_15

You may ask yourself, “Dr. Tim!  Why are you so interested in Fashion Week?  Isn’t your area of expertise a bit more private? (S-E-X?)”

Sure it is!  But what makes you think that fashion and sex are not connected?  After all, isn’t everything you do, done by design to get laid?  Don’t lie to me.  How many of us would bathe, shave, style our hair or dress in the latest fashion if we were not concerned with attracting a potential mate?  We are all connected.  Fashion, cosmetics, sex toys and lubricants.  (Did I mention the big Health and Beauty Aids show going on in NYC during Fashion Week?  It makes me giddy!)

Humans are wired to procreate.  And being human, we do it in all sorts of delightful and delicious ways.  Peacocks may show off brilliant feathers, crickets sing songs, and people, well people dress up and strut on the runway.  And how about some of those fetish outfits for making a statement?  Leather and latex are amazing materials.  If only I could get a bag and shoes to match!

fetish

All that brings me to sex toys.  Yep.  Sex toys.  After all, there are only so many basic shapes that can practically be inserted or rubbed on yourself.  So why do companies bring new ones out each year?  

Dildos are like shoes.  Why would you need more than one pair?  All the Ladies should be laughing at me for saying that.  You need many pairs of shoes!  Work shoes, play shoes, party shoes, shoes for running, shoes for walking, shoes to impress, knock me down and fuck me pumps, and the list goes on and on.  (Technically I do not believe that there is an end to the list.  At least no woman I know has ever owned enough pairs of shoes…)

Shoes

Guys, you aren’t much different.  Gym shoes, office shoes, basketball shoes, golf shoes, take out the trash shoes, etc.

How about that new commercial for the deodorant?  “I use all the different scents because I’m a man.”  You don’t always want strawberry-flavored lube either!  Sometimes you don’t want any flavor, or you need lime, black currant, water-based, silicone – whatever gets you through the night.  You need options!  The toys and lubes need to fit your mood and situation.

Sex toys, you need one for private action, one to share, one for vaginal, one for anal, one for oral, one for fun, one for punishment, small ones, big ones, enormous ones, vibrating ones, pulsing ones, still ones, electric ones, machine-driven ones, suction cup ones, black, white, mocha, glowing green, gold flakes.  Come on people!  Open up, expand your horizons!  This is more than simple fun.  It is fun with style!  And no matter what your kink or preference, we have something to help you maximize your orgasm.  Dare to desire! (TM pending)

I’ve read where folks have bought solid gold sex toys, some with diamonds.  Those are great items if you can afford it!  Just like the latest purse.  Why let the designers and models have all the fun?  I read the color forecasts put out each year to help determine what we need to make for next year.  What woman wouldn’t like to be able to color-coordinate her boudoir accessories?  Getting turned on in a nice purple/black peignoir with matching mules and then reach for a fluorescent orange dildo?  I think not!  Or having a steamy, dirty, greasy encounter with ropes in an alley and you pull out a “Hello Kitty” vibe?  (Well, maybe that one could work…)

It is fall.  Fashion Week is about to go into full swing.  You should too.

Tricky, tricky, tricky (or The Economy and You)

17 Jul 2009 Leave a comment

by Mystertim in cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Plastics, Psychology, Science, sex toys, sexuality Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

So, how’s it going these days?

A little rough?  Yeah, here too.  I mean the economy, the environment, politics, well everything is getting complicated.

For example: To save the Earth, stop using plastic bags!  Makes sense.  Plastic takes a long time to break-down and quite frankly the landfills are stuffed with plastic bags and bottles.  But guess what?  I put “Plastic bag manufacturer” + “plant closure” into a search engine and discovered that globally over 30,000 people have lost their jobs due to factories that make those plastic bags have had to close!  Decreased demand equals decreased supply equals decreased employment.

The economy is tanking, people are losing their jobs and you would rather save the planet?  Like I said, tricky.

And that brings me to sex toys.

How?  Easy.  When my mind gets frantic with political correctness, war, trauma, the economy, etc, nothing clears the mind better (in less time than time than meditation) than a good orgasm.  A good orgasm clears the mind, relieves the stress and generally brightens the day.  Now when it comes to orgasming, I’m a pretty handy guy. 😉

But sometimes you need more to really make it memorable.  Whether you are with your significant other, a friendly group or flying solo, toys and lubes can help.  And while there are many, many excellent products on the market, you should buy everything that my company makes.  (Remember the bit about decreased demand?  Daddy needs to get paid!)  There are all types of strokers, dildos, butt plugs, vibrators, cock rings, pumps, lubes, creams and stuff for every taste and every flavor.  If you aren’t sure what to buy, ask me!  I can help.

“But Dr Tim!” you say, “Everything seems so expensive!”  Well, yes.  Good sex toys can be pricey, but look at it this way: You could buy a sex swing, a good vibrator and some lube or go on vacation.  A vacation is over in a week, but those sex toys are something you will have for a long, long time.  (Apologies to Woody Allen.)

So leave your inhibitions at the door, grab your favorite partner or toy, put Skinimax on the flat screen and get it on!  Remember porn stars only have you in mind!  And do what they do just for you and at some level of personal risk as well.  God bless them one and all!

Slide it, slip it, clamp it or tie it.  Whatever gets you there.  I don’t judge, but studies have shown that folks with frequent sexual activity tend to be more even-tempered, calm, cool and collected.  You are cool aren’t you?  Some say that everyone should have at least three orgasms a week.

So I’m doing my bit.  How about you?

Grilled Cheese Sandwich!

07 Aug 2008 1 Comment

by Mystertim in Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Psychology, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons Tags: , , , ,

I was roaming around some other blogs and ran across an interesting entry on www.funsextoyreview.wordpress.com about love bullets.  I did mention early on that we would not only discuss chemicals and materials, but that we would, from time to time, address the emotional impact of sex toys and cosmetics as well.  Here we go.

(OK, for transparency sake, her blog is a sister blog to mine and we work at the same company.  That is not going to change my point: She mentions using a sex toy in conjunction with her partner.  Secondary vibrations are awesome!  Read her blog.  Tell her Tim sent you.)

Using sex toys or as we called them in the old days marital aids, is a wonderful addition to your bedroom repetoire.  But there are a few things to think about before you do…

Some guys have a problem with sex toys.  There it is.  Right out in the open.  Dildos and vibrators can be rather intimidating.  Sex toys are low maintenance, always ready to go, they don’t need their egos stroked, they never had a bad day, and never ask you to do weird things!  I mean, when was the last time your dildo asked you to make him a grilled cheese sandwich?  

Oh yeah, dildos are larger than a majority of men too.  *sigh*   It is hard enough trying to be a man these days, but to have your lady bring a big rubber penis into your bedroom?  What is she saying?  Aren’t I enough for her?  Does she want to leave me?  Does she expect me to touch another penis?  Even if it is fake?  My dick isn’t that small is it?  More issues than a newstand.

I am talking to the men here:  Relax!  You’re fine.  She is looking to increase your excitement and create a closer bond with you.  Haven’t you ever wished you could do two or more things at once with her?  Now you can!  She will love the additional stimulation and vibrations.  Don’t be surprised if she wants to have sex more often!

She is not leaving.  If she was, she wouldn’t be trying new things in the bedroom with you.  Everyone has a secret itch that needs scratching.  Be honored she trusts you enough to let you in on her secret.  Yes, you are that much of a stud.  Besides, unless you are swingers, she does not want anyone else in bed with you!  She loves you.  She wants you.  She is crazy about your dick.  And no, touching a rubber penis does not make you gay.  Think of it as a tool in your bedroom toolbox.  Kind of like a special hammer or “screw”driver.  Imagine being a handyman with everything she needs in and under your toolbelt.  (Hard hat optional)

Ladies: Do not sneak up behind your man wearing a strap-on.  Unless he is into it.

So it all comes down to communication and intimacy.  Discuss your feelings and fantasies in a safe environment.  It is OK to get turned on during the discussion.  Try not to grab each other until the conversation is finished.  I know it is hard to hide that horrified look on your face at some particular fantasy, acknowledge but don’t condemn the kinky thoughts.  Never say never, but don’t let yourself be talked into something you really, really don’t want to do.  Either of you.

Sex toys are fun.  I love them!  They can add a new dimension to your lovemaking.  They can take your intimacy to another level.  They can really improve your sexual health as an individual and as a couple.  After all, what is hotter than than leaving your partner exhausted and totally satisfied?

Nothing.  Not even a grilled cheese sandwich.

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