Happy Spanksgiving! (Or How I learned to Stuff It!)

Ah the holidays!  The weather turns cool, the air has a certain tang and the circle of life heads towards the finish line.  Well, at least in Los Angeles the air always has a certain flavor and growing up in snow country I am still confounded by California people who light their fireplaces when the temperature drops to a chilly 65 F.

However, cool weather send folks indoors.  And what happens indoors?  I mean, what could happen when you are snuggling under blankets, darkness looms at 5:00 PM and the light from the fireplace makes your partner look so enticing?

Good sex is what happens!  Maybe even great sex! 

And there are all sorts of fun games we can play on the holidays.  Perhaps one of you could pretend to be the turkey about to get stuffed.  I believe that you have to give the turkey a thorough rub-down with butter first, followed by a nice spanking, right?  When the red timer pops up on the breast, you know it is ready!  Mmm, gravy… 

If the Native American Princess saved the Colonist, what reward did she require?  They didn’t call him Lockjaw for nothing you know.   Was an ear of corn the first strap-on?  Why is it called a “tee-pee?”  Perhaps all of your friends came over for an amazing “feast.”  Did you invite the neighbors?  Remember, there’s always room for Jello.  And whipped cream.

Or maybe you could lie in front of the fire and see who’s corn pops first.  The varieties are endless.

Hey, I don’t judge.  I just want to hold the camcorder!  So let your imagination run wild!  Grab your partner(s), condoms, lots of lube/sex toys (Daddy needs to get paid!) and have a great time.  Ol’ Dr. Tim wants you to have a joyful and fulfilling Holiday Season.

For Thanksgiving, I am thankful for family, good friends, open-minded friends, willing friends, warmth, caring, that I have food in my belly and a bed under my butt.

I am also thankful that Hanukkah starts in a week.  That means we get to do it for eight crazy nights in a row!

Happy New Year! (Quiet, I am still recovering…)

Happy New Year everyone!

A fresh year is stretching out in front of us.  Another chance to make a difference!  (Remember when we were going to change the world?  Well, we are.)

Full of potential.  Full of opportunity.  Full of second chances.  Full of something…

So how did you spend your celebration?  I recall the year that I jumped nude into the Long Island Sound at midnight.  Talk about cold!  Not to mention shrinkage!  (Actually there were several of us who ran to my house up the hill from the beach and piled in front of the roaring fireplace directly afterwards.)  That was a good year.

This year I was in bed at midnight.  You know me, if I am not in bed by 10:00 PM, I go home!

But, I was in bed with company and thought, “What a perfect way to bring in the New Year.”  So intimate and warm.  No we did not have simultaneous orgasms on the final stroke of midnight.  That stuff is for stories.  But we did get up afterwards for some blueberry pie.  With real whipped cream too!

Pie, love, warmth, happiness and some great sex.  Makes one realize that this is the meaning of life.  Nothing else really matters.

So for the New Year, love yourself.  Let yourself love others.  Let others love you and it will be an amazing year.

You know, I am really looking forward to it.

Take Your Time! (It’s not a race to the grave…)

Practice what you preach.

Being the father of a 17-year-old boy, this phrase echos in my head quite frequently.  Today I stopped to think about that and what it means to my career and my life.

I can guess what you are thinking.  “Oh great!  A maudlin, self-indulgent rant in an attempt to cleanse his soul and make peace with the world since his life is probably well past half-over.”

Close.  (Sure enough, Horowitz playing Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata just came on my iPod.)

Can't you just hear it?

Can't you just hear it?

This is a short spiel about longing, need and redemption.  I am a big believer in redemption.  I believe it down to my bones that we can pull it off.  Let’s get back to the point.

Folks talk about what is good for you.  What you should eat, how to have sex, how to live your life.  But do they ever follow their advice?  I knew a sexologist who no longer had sex because they were tired of it.  If one does not stay up to date on their chosen field, how can they teach?

Last month I talked about sex toys and fashion.  What the heck do I know?  Well, plenty.  I personally have over two dozen pairs of shoes, more jackets than I can ever wear and a whole dresser full of sex toys and lubricants.

And I take the time to use them.  Why promote or sell something that you would never use?  My first question when I make something in the lab is, “Would I buy and use this?”  If the answer is “No!” then I go back to the bench and work it out.  I won’t even accept a “Maybe.”  If I won’t use it, how could I expect anyone else to use it?

You may laugh, be shocked, disgusted or wonder exactly what toys I own and use.  Really, that’s none of your business.  You have to buy and download the clips off the internet like everyone else.  But even though I work at one of the largest adult novelty manufacturers in the USA, I don’t use everything they make.  Because it is not right for me.  And that is the point of this convoluted missive.

Have you ever done anything willingly or been talked into doing something of a sexual nature that left you feeling dirty, despairing and crying?  I hope not.  That is not a very good place to be emotionally.  If you did it to please someone else, that was probably not a good idea.  Despite the backlash I may get from a few communities, no one really wants to feel used and unloved.  Nobody.  And that is not a healthy outlet for your sexuality.

Lie down and tell me all about it...

Lie down and tell me all about it...

My parents, always told me to wait to have sex as long as possible.  Do you think I listened?  Not a chance.  As a wise woman told me once, “I get in where I fit in!”  And guess what?  I had many Walk of Shame moments.  Some of which are forever recorded and out of my control.  That’s life.

So what did I do?  I took the time to learn about my own particular sexuality.  I used many types of toys and implements of mass destruction.  And I learned what works for me.  Who works for me.  What styles work for me.  I learned my personal rhythm.

Did I need the toys?  Sure!  But to (badly) paraphrase Carlos Castaneda, not every pupil needs the same stimulants.  Do you need sex toys?  I hope so!  I get paid that way!

So when you talk to your children or nieces/nephews or whomever and tell them that sex is a wonderful, sacred thing.  Are you speaking from experience or just talking out of your ass?

Take some time to experience truly good sex.  Either by yourself or with someone.  Experiment, find out what makes you tick.  Find your personal rhythm.  Tap into the Orgone energy of the universe.  (We will discuss Orgone energy and Wilhelm Reich later.) 

Orgone Box

Orgone Box

Harnessing Orgone Energy

 

 

 

Enrich your life and soul with uber-satisfying orgasms and feel the love of the universe.  (Oh yeah, use my products too!)  Either every day is sacred or none of them are.

Be good to yourself.  Practice what you preach.

I’ve got a good feeling about this…

Welcome to the Exploration!

Greetings!

Why are we here?  What is our purpose?  When will our mission on earth be completed?  Who can we trust?  Am I worthy?  Where are we going for lunch?

These are questions that have amused philosophers, meditators, doctors, stoners and various thinkers for ages.  Very deep, very dark with the answers hidden in those corners of our souls where we dare not tread.

But that isn’t the overt purpose of this blog.  We are here to discuss adult novelties (sex toys), cosmetics and even over the counter drugs, of what they consist and how they work.  We will discuss the physical, medical, emotional effect they have on our lives and how they make us feel.  Hopefully in an open, non-scathing manner.

Here are some of the topics we will cover soon: phthalates, parabens, glycerin.  I know you will have questions so please feel free to submit them to  me for my special brand of quantum cogitation.  Please comment.  Love me or loathe me, I want to hear from you!

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