Wrap That Wrascal!

05 Aug 2010 1 Comment

by Mystertim in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Physiology, Psychology, Regulatory, Safe Sex, Safety, Science, sexuality, STD Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

How’s your summer going?  Haul any boxes of books lately?  Make the evening news?

Mine has been pretty interesting.  Bar-Be-Que, Barq’s and Babes!  True summer living.

But even though these are those crazy, hazy, lazy days of summer, you had better watch out.

There was a report released by Harvard University claiming that men over 40 who use erectile dysfunction medications have triple the rate of sexually transmitted diseases as compared to men who did not use the drugs.

May I see a show of hands for those that are surprized by this result?  Not too many of you, huh?

In fact, according to the CDC, the 40-49 year age range accounted for the largest proportion of newly diagnosed HIV/AIDS cases in 2007.  Don’t believe me, go check it out.  I’ll wait.

Welcome back.  Sobering, isn’t it?  Let’s pull up our psychiatric armchairs and see if we can’t figure out why this is so.

Older folks are from a different time, a different age, a different mindset.  Last century, back when I was in college, the worst thing we could catch could be cured with a shot of penicillin.  There were fewer taboos.  And a LOT more risky sex than happens today.  After all, tis better to fail a Wasserman test than never to have loved at all!  The younger set may have more recent partners, but they actually tend to be safer than us old fogeys.

Even old Dr Tim isn’t sure if he has any condoms at home.  I’ll admit it, I hate condoms.  I hate wearing them, I hate the feel or lack thereof of them, I hate the taste they leave behind.  There isn’t much I like about them at all!  Except maybe the saving my life part.  I grew up with skin on skin and that my friend is a hard habit to break.  Even though I get a full STD workup every other month, I should still wear them.  And I do, if she insists.  But it shouldn’t have to be that way.  Even though women do ask to  see my test results before we proceed to Happy Land, using condoms should be an SOP.  (Standard Operating Procedure)

What about choice?  You may ask.  What about condoms in adult entertainment films?

So choose, Death or Cake. (Pie really.)  And as for adult entertainers, they are making a risky choice, but I defend their right to make it.  I consider adult film performers as stunt people.  They make risky decisions on how to use their bodies for the gratification of others.  I respect that.  Quite a few of those performers are my close personal friends and I would hate to see them be debilitated by some gruesome disease.  But I am not about to tell them how to do their job.  And I don’t think anyone else should either.  Those that try should probably try to get their own houses in order first.  However that is just my opinion.

And now that men suffering from ED can get help, they are picking up where they left off thirty years ago.  The game has changed since then and they havn’t read the new playbook.  Everyone needs to be reminded about the joys of safe sex.  No matter how old they are.  Anyone watch Penn & Teller’s show Bullsh*t about old people?  They still have sex.  The back alley slut is now the nursing home slut who thanks to modern medicine can get her favorite treat! 

Teach your parents well.  And your grandparents.  Anyone can die from HIV/AIDS and I’d rather it wasn’t you.

Interesting Question! (Caution, naughtiness ahead!)

30 Apr 2010 1 Comment

by Mystertim in Anatomy, chemicals, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“So Tim, is this too big for someone to get up their butt?”  

What an interesting question to start my day.  So let’s get ahead by getting a little behind…  

Anal sex.  Now that is one hotly contested topic.  You may remember that I briefly mentioned backdoor activities last month.  (https://quantumcogitation.com/2010/03/12/doors-what-is-behind-door-number-three/)  

Or you may remember my brief discourse about men on the receiving end of a strap-on.  (https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/08/29/strap-it-on/)  

Good memories, good times.  So let’s roll up our sleeves and really get into it now.  If this topic bothers you, here is something to keep you occupied.  

Look deeply into my eyes.

  For the rest of us, let’s take a close look at the anus, rectum and points north.  Here is a brief, unromantic diagram of said region.  

  To accomplish anal intercourse, we have to get past the exterior sphincter, through the anus, past the interior sphincter, through the anal canal, getting past the Dentate line and into the rectum!  Whew!  Anyone have a GPS ready?  OK, I know that everyone knows, or thinks they know what they are doing.  But honestly, a lot of you don’t.  (If I had a nickel for every woman nodding her head right now…)  

 The anus has quite a concentration of nerve endings and that can bring either great pain or great joy depending on your approach.  The anterior wall of the rectum leads to prostate massage in men and tickles the vaginal canal in women.  While the external sphincter is a voluntary muscle which we can contract or relax, the interior sphincter muscle is involuntary.  That means you really cannot control it.  So we need to spend some time on figuring out how to make it relax.  And as always, we have options:  

 1) Brute force, just ram it home.  DO NOT DO THIS!!!!  Who are you kidding?  That only plays in story books.  To force the anal sphincter complex open can cause a lot of damage.  It can cause tearing, bleeding, damage to the sphincters leaving you incontinent, if misguided potentially perforate the intestinal walls.  Which could lead a nasty little thing called death.  Let’s not go there, let’s keep this safe, sane and consensual (SSC).  

 2) Get them drunk!  Oh come on people!  DON”T DO THIS!!!  If one or the other partner is impaired by one substance or another, you can have the same injuries listed in item number one.  Either they won’t feel if something has gone wrong or you may not be attentive to their situation.  Either way, bad.  

 While there is nothing wrong with a glass of wine or a drink or two, stay alert if you are going to participate in risky types of sexual behaviour.  It needs to be fun, not traumatic.  No need to call those men in white jackets even if ambulance sirens turn you on.  They really aren’t interested in what you were doing anyway.  

3) Anal desensitizers.   Yep, they exist.  Heck we even sell them!  Usually they are a gel, cream or spray that contains lidocaine or benzocaine.  These are often used in anorectal drugs to ease the pain of hemorrhoids.  Now, these work very well, but they are not my first choice.  If over-used, you may not feel any “bad” pain if it occurs.  And I have always wondered, why engage in anal sex if you don’t want to feel it? So…  

 4) Warming lubes.  Yes, we sell those too!  Remember what it feels like when you get a hot oil massage?  You melt under that person’s hands.  Well, this is very similar.  Gentle caressing with the product warming your anus and your partner’s attention warming your heart.  You will probably open up like a blooming rose.  Hard, nasty anal sex is great if you are experienced and in the mood, but if you are just beginning your anal explorations, you need a lot of prep time, care and gentleness.  

 OK, lubricants.  Yes the anal tract is a mucosal membrane so there is a certain degree of lubrication available naturally.  But you should add some more.  Lots more!  So much so that you need a new bottle every time!  (Did I mention that my company sells lubricants?  Thought so.  Daddy needs to get paid!)  

 Seriously, use lots.  I prefer silicone lubes, but whatever floats your boat.  Anyone remember how Crisco sales jumped when fisting became all the rage?  

 5)  Oh yeah, rimming helps.  We can talk about that in a later post.

  So we are in!  Now with the anal canal and rectum, you have a comfortable six inches for penetration.  Stroke away to your heart’s content.  And hopefully to your partner’s orgasm!   Here are a couple of diagrams to show you where to find the anus on a male or female.  

 Now that we have covered that, how large of an item can you stick your butt?  From some videos that I have seen, really, really big!  I have seen baseball bats, arms up to the shoulder (not recommended), champagne bottles, fruit/vegetables of all kinds and a football.  I guess the real question is not how large of an item can I stick up my butt, but do I want to spend my life wearing diapers?  Yes, extreme anal stretching can lead to having an orifice that can no longer close or even prolapse.  Prolapse is when the insides come outside. 

If you keep your anal insertions limited to finger/penis/hand size, you can keep your stuff tight with kegel exercises.  Yes they work for the ass as well as the vagina!  Squeeze those muscles tight, count to ten, release and repeat.  A few sets of ten daily and you will be able to peel a banana!  Even though if you have anal sex even once, your doctor will know the next time he takes a look down there.  So, really, there are no secrets from your doctor.   

I talk too much, but when it comes to anal sex, the two or more of you had better talk everything out so you know what is going to happen.  And please, wash thoroughly, douche your tush, wash whatever was inserted up the butt before inserting it somewhere else and please do not engage in ATM or ATV activities.    

Leave that to the pros.

Happy New Year! (Quiet, I am still recovering…)

07 Jan 2010 1 Comment

by Mystertim in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Happy New Year everyone!

A fresh year is stretching out in front of us.  Another chance to make a difference!  (Remember when we were going to change the world?  Well, we are.)

Full of potential.  Full of opportunity.  Full of second chances.  Full of something…

So how did you spend your celebration?  I recall the year that I jumped nude into the Long Island Sound at midnight.  Talk about cold!  Not to mention shrinkage!  (Actually there were several of us who ran to my house up the hill from the beach and piled in front of the roaring fireplace directly afterwards.)  That was a good year.

This year I was in bed at midnight.  You know me, if I am not in bed by 10:00 PM, I go home!

But, I was in bed with company and thought, “What a perfect way to bring in the New Year.”  So intimate and warm.  No we did not have simultaneous orgasms on the final stroke of midnight.  That stuff is for stories.  But we did get up afterwards for some blueberry pie.  With real whipped cream too!

Pie, love, warmth, happiness and some great sex.  Makes one realize that this is the meaning of life.  Nothing else really matters.

So for the New Year, love yourself.  Let yourself love others.  Let others love you and it will be an amazing year.

You know, I am really looking forward to it.

Tricky, tricky, tricky (or The Economy and You)

17 Jul 2009 Leave a comment

by Mystertim in cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Plastics, Psychology, Science, sex toys, sexuality Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

So, how’s it going these days?

A little rough?  Yeah, here too.  I mean the economy, the environment, politics, well everything is getting complicated.

For example: To save the Earth, stop using plastic bags!  Makes sense.  Plastic takes a long time to break-down and quite frankly the landfills are stuffed with plastic bags and bottles.  But guess what?  I put “Plastic bag manufacturer” + “plant closure” into a search engine and discovered that globally over 30,000 people have lost their jobs due to factories that make those plastic bags have had to close!  Decreased demand equals decreased supply equals decreased employment.

The economy is tanking, people are losing their jobs and you would rather save the planet?  Like I said, tricky.

And that brings me to sex toys.

How?  Easy.  When my mind gets frantic with political correctness, war, trauma, the economy, etc, nothing clears the mind better (in less time than time than meditation) than a good orgasm.  A good orgasm clears the mind, relieves the stress and generally brightens the day.  Now when it comes to orgasming, I’m a pretty handy guy. 😉

But sometimes you need more to really make it memorable.  Whether you are with your significant other, a friendly group or flying solo, toys and lubes can help.  And while there are many, many excellent products on the market, you should buy everything that my company makes.  (Remember the bit about decreased demand?  Daddy needs to get paid!)  There are all types of strokers, dildos, butt plugs, vibrators, cock rings, pumps, lubes, creams and stuff for every taste and every flavor.  If you aren’t sure what to buy, ask me!  I can help.

“But Dr Tim!” you say, “Everything seems so expensive!”  Well, yes.  Good sex toys can be pricey, but look at it this way: You could buy a sex swing, a good vibrator and some lube or go on vacation.  A vacation is over in a week, but those sex toys are something you will have for a long, long time.  (Apologies to Woody Allen.)

So leave your inhibitions at the door, grab your favorite partner or toy, put Skinimax on the flat screen and get it on!  Remember porn stars only have you in mind!  And do what they do just for you and at some level of personal risk as well.  God bless them one and all!

Slide it, slip it, clamp it or tie it.  Whatever gets you there.  I don’t judge, but studies have shown that folks with frequent sexual activity tend to be more even-tempered, calm, cool and collected.  You are cool aren’t you?  Some say that everyone should have at least three orgasms a week.

So I’m doing my bit.  How about you?

Premature Ejaculation (What, too soon?)

22 Dec 2008 5 Comments

by Mystertim in Anatomy, chemicals, cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Science, sex toys, sexuality Tags: , , , , ,

I’ll try to keep this short.

Folks, have you ever been in a sexual situation where the game was over before the coin toss decided?  Then you may have had an experience with premature ejaculation.  What does that really mean?

Premature ejaculation is when a man has an orgasm sooner than he or his partner would like.  If it just happens once in a while, that is fairly normal and reciting baseball scores or thinking of Aunt Martha’s arm fat may slow you down just enough.  However, if it a regular occurance, you may want to look into the issue.

Folks used to think that premature ejaculation was purely a psychological problem, but modern medicine has determined that there are physical causes as well.  Let’s take a quick look at it.  First, there is no medical standard as to how long a man should last before orgasm.  The largest indicator is that orgasming too soon causes distress or concern between partners.  But remember, there doesn’t have to be a partner.  You can also experience premature ejaculation during masturbation.  The question is, “Does it bother you?”

There are many possible causes.  Psychologically, perhaps you have established a mental pattern which could include having to rush to orgasm to avoid being caught or feelings of guilt over sex.  Yes, you can train your body to respond through repeated actions or thoughts.  So please, be nice to yourselves.

Biologically, it could be caused by abnormal hormone levels, abnormal levels of neurotransmitters, abnormal reflex activity of the ejaculatory system, thyroid, inflammation or infection of the prostate or urethra or unspecified inherited traits.  So it could be a combination of problems, or a single source.  Current thought leans towards a single source if this has been a lifelong problem.  Of course this can all be complicated by impotence (we’ll talk about this later), stress, medication or health problems.

When should you seek help?  If you are unhappy, talk to your doctor!  I cannot stress enough that your doctor has heard it all before and can help.  Don’t fear the MD!  Are there some things you can try before going to the doctor?  Sure!

Try the Squeeze Technique.  Begin sexual contact as normal.  If it feels like you are going to ejaculate, have your partner squeeze your penis right where the head meets the shaft until the feeling goes away.  It should only be several seconds.  Then continue.  Don’t worry if you go a little soft.  Simba will be up for the challenge as soon as sexual activity resumes.  Repeat as necessary, soon you may be able to control the feelings without squeezing.

Squeeze 101

Squeeze 101

Or…

You could masturbate an hour or two before sex.  The second orgasm almost always take longer to reach.  (Which reminds me of a joke:  A man picks up a sex worker for a paid encounter.  After she disrobes she sees him in the corner masturbating furiously.  She asks him why and he replies, “For $100 you’re not getting the easy one!”)  Or as a couple, you can decide not to have intercourse every time and focus on other sexual activities which may relieve some of the performance anxiety.  It may also help you feel more comfortable in your sexuality as well.

My friend Karinna Kittles-Karsten (www.sacredlove.com) is a strong believer in Sexual Toning.  She is brilliant.  Check out her website, you’ll thank me for it someday.  But don’t forget to thank her too.  Here is how she describes Sexual Toning:  Note: if you have a urinary tract infection, consult a physician before attempting.  1. Come into a squat position with your heels turned in slightly.  Elbows between your knees, bring hands into a prayer position. 2. Inhale and contract the small muscular area between your anus and genitals. 3. Exhale and relax the muscles. Repeat nine times to start.  When you become comfortable, work up to 3-4 sets a day.

Work those PC Muscles!

Work those PC Muscles!

You can also work this area sitting at your desk.

Then we have topical medications.  There is a category of Over the Counter Drugs (OTC) called Male Genital Desensitizers.  These can be creams, gels or sprays usually containing benzocaine or lidocaine.  These are sprayed/massaged on the head of the penis, under the head in particular.  After a few moments, there will be a mild numbing effect.  This will theoretically delay the physical sensations that lead to premature ejaculation.  Be sure to use it five minutes or so before engaging in intercourse.  After all, we just want to slow ourselves down, not numb our partner, right?  These products can be found in drugstores, on-line and in high class adult emporiums.  Male Genital Desensitizers are recognised drugs that are regulated by the FDA.  Only FDA registered OTC manufacturers can produce them.  Your penis is serious business and believe it or not, the US Government wants to protect it!

This is a drug folks!

This is a drug folks!

(Say, Topco Sales and Basic Solutions are FDA registered OTC manufacturers!  What a lucky coincidence.)

So, if you suffer from premature ejaculation, you do not have to suffer alone.  Talk to your partner, talk to your doctor, get yourself in better physical shape, increase your sexual repertoire, use a topical product for those precious extra minutes.  You are a stallion.  Never forget that.

side-view-human-male-reproductive-system

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