Medical Play (An MRI? Really?)

How many of you are into medical play?

Yes, I have played a doctor behind the woodshed and have used the phrase “Hellooo Nurse!” on way too many occasions.  But how about the use of sounds, Wartenburg wheels, TENS units, performed the Num-Num test and the like.  A good pair of stirrups goes a long way.

Check this out: http://bcove.me/qhiroajk

Yes, someone did a study of what coitus looks like in an MRI machine.  It is amazing.  Blew my mind.  The actual clip was assembled from all the pictures taken during the procedure and is in the last-minute of the clip.  Check it out.  I will never get those images out of my mind.

And let me know if you want to discuss the medical fetish.  No need for an appointment.  The Doctor will see you now.

Major Turn-ons (Not for Everyone…)

Today’s Early Morning Question:  Dr Tim, what is your number one, mind-shattering, earth-moving major turn-on?

Since it was barely 6:30 this morning, my first response was, “Breakfast?”  After all, isn’t that something a man yearns for every single day of his life?

My answer was deemed unsatisfactory.  Imagine that.  Now imagine Dr Tim imagining that.  Now imagine Dr Tim imaging that while wearing a speedo and furry boa.  (I’m in your head forever now…)

Turn-ons.  The magic fetish that sends your libido into overdrive.  Yes, a turn-on is considered a fetish.  And although the word ‘fetish” has been co-opted by television and the movies to mean “hot babe in leather” it is a much more complex than that.  (Do not stop sending me those pictures of hot babes in leather though.  I’m writing a paper, yeah that’s it!)  Even the media is beginning to loosen up.  I was watching “Attack of the Show” recently and have been enjoying the WTF segment.  They have shown America several interesting fetishes that may shock, amuse or bore you.

Lipstick fetish – the application of multiple layers of lip color.  Sometimes garish, mostly elegant.  This appears to be a more specific version of a make-up fetish stemming from young folks watch their Mother go through their make-up ritual every day.  It truly is amazing to watch the transformation.  The art, the precision, the glamour.  Really, I could watch and watch unless we are late for our reservations.

Vacuum beds – where a person is put into a giant latex bag and all of the air is removed leaving the person immobilized and helpless.  Now there is some hot sweaty fun.  The two hosts took turns in the bag and their reactions were priceless.  The fact that this was being performed by a hot babe in fetish gear did not hurt.  It helped build the scene.

Ear Cleaning – this may have been a spoof, but how good does it feel to use that cotton-tipped stick in your ear?  Uh-huh, thought so.  I never thought about taking it further, but it looks like it works!

So a fetish can really be anything that gets you going.  Shoes, stockings, army boots and kick to the nads, whatever.  I have a lady friend that loves to clean house.  It gets her warmed up and then she rides the vibration of the vacuum cleaner to climax.  Hey, I don’t judge and my place gets a thorough cleaning to boot!

Whatever puts you in motion is fine.  Just make sure that all the players are on board and nobody is made to do something they don’t want to do.  (By force or guilt.)  If your fetish concerns non-consenting partners, please get help.  You may have some issues and that just isn’t healthy.

Oh, my major turn-on?  I may be showing my age, but my biggest turn-on is intimacy.  Yep, having that special someone who knows everything about you and sleeps with you anyway!  It goes both ways and that is very exciting for me.

Have fun, play safe and keep those cards, letters, pictures and videos coming in!

Holiday Poem (For my Favorite Vendor)

Be good my little children

For Christmas time is near.

Listen closely for Old Santa

And his sleigh with eight reindeer.

And take caution older kidlets

Treat all with loving care.

For you will never realize

When an elf is standing there.

And as for me, you’ll find me

Underneath the mistletoe

Waiting for a rendezvous

With the Girls from Deveraux

Do not laugh or spite me

Or call me a so-and-so

Either know my heart is full of love

Or I’m just an old mofo…

Happy Spanksgiving! (Or How I learned to Stuff It!)

Ah the holidays!  The weather turns cool, the air has a certain tang and the circle of life heads towards the finish line.  Well, at least in Los Angeles the air always has a certain flavor and growing up in snow country I am still confounded by California people who light their fireplaces when the temperature drops to a chilly 65 F.

However, cool weather send folks indoors.  And what happens indoors?  I mean, what could happen when you are snuggling under blankets, darkness looms at 5:00 PM and the light from the fireplace makes your partner look so enticing?

Good sex is what happens!  Maybe even great sex! 

And there are all sorts of fun games we can play on the holidays.  Perhaps one of you could pretend to be the turkey about to get stuffed.  I believe that you have to give the turkey a thorough rub-down with butter first, followed by a nice spanking, right?  When the red timer pops up on the breast, you know it is ready!  Mmm, gravy… 

If the Native American Princess saved the Colonist, what reward did she require?  They didn’t call him Lockjaw for nothing you know.   Was an ear of corn the first strap-on?  Why is it called a “tee-pee?”  Perhaps all of your friends came over for an amazing “feast.”  Did you invite the neighbors?  Remember, there’s always room for Jello.  And whipped cream.

Or maybe you could lie in front of the fire and see who’s corn pops first.  The varieties are endless.

Hey, I don’t judge.  I just want to hold the camcorder!  So let your imagination run wild!  Grab your partner(s), condoms, lots of lube/sex toys (Daddy needs to get paid!) and have a great time.  Ol’ Dr. Tim wants you to have a joyful and fulfilling Holiday Season.

For Thanksgiving, I am thankful for family, good friends, open-minded friends, willing friends, warmth, caring, that I have food in my belly and a bed under my butt.

I am also thankful that Hanukkah starts in a week.  That means we get to do it for eight crazy nights in a row!

Happy Veterans’ Day!

Happy Veterans’ Day!  Yes, I know I am a day late.  But I have a really good excuse.

Since all of these fine folks have done their bit, I thought that I should do their bit too.  I mean, after all they have been or are still in service to this great country of ours the US of A!

So I dedicated all of yesterday to servicing our service people.  That’s right, Good Old Dr Tim was tending to the “special” needs of any and all females that served in our armed forces.  And boy, is my tongue tired!

But they helped keep us the Land of the Free, so they are especially deserving of  a special thank you.

How about you?  Did you Service the Service yesterday?  You should!

I’m just saying…

Wrap That Wrascal!

How’s your summer going?  Haul any boxes of books lately?  Make the evening news?

Mine has been pretty interesting.  Bar-Be-Que, Barq’s and Babes!  True summer living.

But even though these are those crazy, hazy, lazy days of summer, you had better watch out.

There was a report released by Harvard University claiming that men over 40 who use erectile dysfunction medications have triple the rate of sexually transmitted diseases as compared to men who did not use the drugs.

May I see a show of hands for those that are surprized by this result?  Not too many of you, huh?

In fact, according to the CDC, the 40-49 year age range accounted for the largest proportion of newly diagnosed HIV/AIDS cases in 2007.  Don’t believe me, go check it out.  I’ll wait.

Welcome back.  Sobering, isn’t it?  Let’s pull up our psychiatric armchairs and see if we can’t figure out why this is so.

Older folks are from a different time, a different age, a different mindset.  Last century, back when I was in college, the worst thing we could catch could be cured with a shot of penicillin.  There were fewer taboos.  And a LOT more risky sex than happens today.  After all, tis better to fail a Wasserman test than never to have loved at all!  The younger set may have more recent partners, but they actually tend to be safer than us old fogeys.

Even old Dr Tim isn’t sure if he has any condoms at home.  I’ll admit it, I hate condoms.  I hate wearing them, I hate the feel or lack thereof of them, I hate the taste they leave behind.  There isn’t much I like about them at all!  Except maybe the saving my life part.  I grew up with skin on skin and that my friend is a hard habit to break.  Even though I get a full STD workup every other month, I should still wear them.  And I do, if she insists.  But it shouldn’t have to be that way.  Even though women do ask to  see my test results before we proceed to Happy Land, using condoms should be an SOP.  (Standard Operating Procedure)

What about choice?  You may ask.  What about condoms in adult entertainment films?

So choose, Death or Cake. (Pie really.)  And as for adult entertainers, they are making a risky choice, but I defend their right to make it.  I consider adult film performers as stunt people.  They make risky decisions on how to use their bodies for the gratification of others.  I respect that.  Quite a few of those performers are my close personal friends and I would hate to see them be debilitated by some gruesome disease.  But I am not about to tell them how to do their job.  And I don’t think anyone else should either.  Those that try should probably try to get their own houses in order first.  However that is just my opinion.

And now that men suffering from ED can get help, they are picking up where they left off thirty years ago.  The game has changed since then and they havn’t read the new playbook.  Everyone needs to be reminded about the joys of safe sex.  No matter how old they are.  Anyone watch Penn & Teller’s show Bullsh*t about old people?  They still have sex.  The back alley slut is now the nursing home slut who thanks to modern medicine can get her favorite treat! 

Teach your parents well.  And your grandparents.  Anyone can die from HIV/AIDS and I’d rather it wasn’t you.

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