Sex Stuff 101 (or take a chance)

So there I was, reading the National Institute of Health updates and saw a bit about Healthy Sexuality.  You know me, I clicked the link which took me to a video put out by the American Society of Reproductive Medicine.  Nice website and great videos that cover so many of the basic questions people have about sexuality.

Remember: This site is about the mechanics of sex and while they have passing mentions of sexualities other that heterosexuality, it is about how our bits work for reproduction.  There is a lot about infertility.

But their videos about sexual health, sexual problems and healthy sexuality are certainly worth a look.  Here is a link right to the videos: http://reproductivefacts.org/Full_Length_Patient_Education_Videos/

Copy and paste if your browser won’t let you click it.

Because while we at Doc Johnson love all of the fun and games, we want you to be happy, healthy and loving your life.  (And buy all of your toys/lubes from us!)

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Lab-Grown Vaginas

What a great week for science!

There was a follow-up article in The Lancet this month about the success of lab-grown vaginas.  Yes, you read that correctly.

Seems there is a rather rare (or so we hope) birth defect where females are born without complete genital formation.  One interview I read was with a woman who was born without a vaginal canal.  Pretty serious stuff.  Not only does it make life difficult in general, but it could mess with your head too.

Doctors took cells from the patients, created the new tissue and grafted it back onto their bodies.  This was pure science fiction stuff back when I was a baby scientist.  One study dealt with women suffering from Mayer-Rokitansky-Kuster-Hauser syndrome, a genetic condition where the women’s vagina and/or uterus is either underdeveloped or absent.  They harvested muscle and epithelial cells via a biopsy of their genitals.  (Epithelial cells line the body cavities and can release fluid and feel sensations.)  Grew the tissue that was fastened to a biodegradable scaffold which was hand-sewn into a vagina.  Then the surgeons created a canal in the patient’s pelvis and stitched the scaffold into place on their reproductive systems.

The body then forms nerves and blood vessels into the graft and gradually replaced the scaffold with a permanent functioning organ.  This was done between 2005 and 2008.  Annual check-ups show that the lab-grown vaginas and extremely similar to natural tissue in form and function.  Even the doctors could barely tell where the natural tissue ended and the graft began!  The women also tested normal in all areas of sexual function which includes desire, arousal, lubrication, orgasm and sexual satisfaction.

Isn’t that cool?  The doctors are now looking into using the same technique for women with cancer or have been injured in accidents.  Anyone needing vaginal reconstruction.

More amazing efforts on the part of science and medicine.  In an age where science is “evil,” I’m proud to be a scientist.

Now if they could just get 6-7 inch penis enlargement working…

Until that happens, Doc Johnson does have some nice penis extensions.  Like this wonderful toy:

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Back to Basics (Or, Get down and give me 20!)

Did you ever want to be a marathon sled dog in the sack?  Of course you did.  We all did.  There is hope.

There was a presentation of a small study at the European Congress of Urology in Stockholm recently.  Turns out that there may be something you can do in the privacy of your own home to increase your stamina in bed.  Exercise.  Yep, exercise.

In the study were 40 men, aged 19-46, with lifelong premature ejaculation.  They followed a 12 week program of exercising their floor pelvic muscles.  And guess what happened.

After the three months, the period of time to reach ejaculation increased from 32 seconds to 2.5 minutes!  That is astounding.  That gave them 4.6 times longer to enjoy lovemaking with their significant other.

Think about that for a second.  These men went from your basic “in-out-done” to a much more intimate sexual relationship.  One where there was time to gaze into eyes, call out names several times or re-weave their hair from behind.  Can you imagine the psychological impact of this?

Think of the increase in self-confidence.  That man can now enjoy his life better, improve his relationship, get a raise and be who he always thought he could be.  And that is a d*mn sexy trait in men.

You see, if someone could ease one of their biggest disappointments in life, the world opens up to him.  Now pelvic floor exercises have been used to improve incontinence in men for years.  Especially after prostate surgery.  But they had never really tried them for premature ejaculation, well, not for anyone that suffered from it for a long time.  Great stuff.

I certainly hope when they publish and can run larger studies that this will hold true.

Now Doc Johnson, amazing company that it is, cannot help you exercise.  You gotta do that on your own buddy.  However, when you are not in the gym, we can help delay your premature ejaculation as well.

 

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These are what the FDA calls “Male Genital Desensitizers.”  Using benzocaine, it will decrease the amount of stimulation you feel through your penis.  That should really help you out in the interim.

Just apply to the underside of the head of your penis, wait a second or two, then proceed with your business.  I don’t care who you are sticking it to, but hopefully this will make the encounter more fun for both of you.

Here are a couple links about how you can start doing these exercises today:

http://www.webmd.com/men/pelvic-floor-kegel-exercises-for-men

http://www.askthetrainer.com/pelvic-floor-exercises-for-men/

Remember kids, stay in school and the gym!  And keep those cards, letters, naughty pictures and videos coming in!

 

Valentine’s Day (Or, We still do this? Really?)

Ah, Valentine’s Day!

The perfect time to rekindle romance with your significant other and bask in the glories of love.

Or least do some serious snuggling since your electricity went out in the recent storm and they estimate your power won’t be back on until March.

But here in Sunny Southern California, it is all about the Love.

Love is patient, Love is kind.  Love is taking it from behind.  Oh come on!  This is all about sex and you know it.  Whether you are with the one you love, the group you love or you are just loving on yourself, someone is putting out today.  Not to sound jaded, but all the signs have been there for years.  Roses to show that she is rare, delicate and fragile.  (You see, you bring them home like ancient men would bring home a mastodon steak or something.  You are the big, strong protector with a gentle side.)  Chocolate to help put you in the mood.  (Remember consuming large quantities of chocolate fire up the same brain centers as the feeling of love.)  Champagne because candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker!  Fancy dinners out so your partner can dress up, fell sexy and notice how everyone looks at them with a hunger in their eyes.  And a card because, well, not too sure why a card.  You’ll have to ask Hallmark.  Although it may have something to do with turning a valentine heart upside down makes it look like a sweet ass or bodacious set of boobs…

Add it all up and you guys will be feeling sexy as fuck.  And that was your end goal in the first place!

Now, both of you are ready, in the mood and raring to go.  Stop a moment.  After everything you two have done for each other today, bed time should be special time.  A special time where you are both willing to please each other and maybe do that thing they always wanted.  But how?

Enter the Doctor.  Doc Johnson specifically.  We make all the toys, lubes and lotions you will need to make this night really stand out in your diary.  Break out the vibrators, dildos and strap-ons.  Use ’em on her than let her use ’em on you!  That’s right.  Time to go places you’ve never told anyone that you have already been.  Who knows?  They may like it.  Or call you a sick freak of a pervert, but nothing ventured, nothing gained.  But do you really want or need a partner who won’t get down and dirty with you?    Besides, they probably already know but are waiting on you to make the move.  And for you solo artists; we love you too!  use something special as you fap to internet porn or your favorite romantic movie/book.

Note: Dr. Tim is not a sick freak of a pervert.  I am delightfully uninhibited!

Check out www.docjohnson.com.  You cannot buy from our site, but you can see all of the wonders we made just for you.  Ask for them by name at your local adult retailer or one of the fine internet stores.

So today, remember to be tender, loving and romantic.  It pays off in the end.  Or your end…

Black Roses (or, We Haz Them)

How was your Valentines Day?  Did you get any?

C’mon, even married people get laid on Valentines Day.  It is practically the law.  (Federal law, it is much more than a state thing.)

You didn’t? well, even women get blue balls…

Blue Balls.  We Has ‘Em.  However, they are the amazing Blooming Ben Wa Balls in the brilliant Black Rose line by Doc Johnson!

If they turn this color, OUCH!

If they turn this color, OUCH!

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Now that sounds like much more fun, doesn’t it?

Yes, Valentines Day is much like Bondage & Discipline.  You always hurt the one you love.  And boy, at Doc Johnson do we have some classy ways to do it too.  We’ve got everything!  Harnesses, cuffs, strap-ons, paddles, whips and other weapons of ass destruction.  Spice up your love life.  These can be used in any room of the house.  This is a very nice selection of products.  Wanna see some more pictures?  Me too!

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So you are probably thinking, “Strap-ons are über-cool!  But is that the only thrill available for anal pleasure?”

Fear not my bung-loving lovers.  We have some amazing purple butt plugs for you in the very same Black Rose line.  (Yes, purple product in Black Rose.  Bruises often turn purple before they go black.  Won’t tell you exactly how I know, but I’m sure you can find the videos on-line.  Can’t you, you little web-monkeys?)

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And what’s that?  An AMAZING lubricant from Good Old Dr Tim’s research lab!  What a wonderful world!  Remember:  Doc Johnson lubes help you get in and get back out easily, smoothly and with oh so much pleasure!

It is not too late!  Since here and now we are alive, go get some of those great Doc Johnson toys and lubes!  Show yourself or your significant other(s) how much you care.  Tie them up or let yourself be tied up to let your imagination soar.  Imagine how you will please your bound beauty.  Or how they will please you.  Life is good.  Seize the Day!

As for Dr Tim?  Just keep those cards, letters, pictures and videos coming in!  You inspire me.  Yes you do.  After all, how do you think I test all these lubes and potions?  My only thoughts are about you.

And while I am not sure this is what Linda Ronstadt was thinking about when she recorded her album Living in the USA back in 1978, just send me Black Roses…

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Advanced Research! (or, Come and knock on our door…)

Greetings Earthlings!  (And a cheerful “Howdy” to all of my off-world fans!)

As you know, Dr Tim takes his job very seriously.

Today as I was studying a trade journal, I ran across an interesting article with a very interesting concept.  It seems that a major brand of chips was going to launch some new packaging and they wanted a specific feel to go with it.  Here is a short blurb about their strategy:

“…As part of the research process, the corporate team actually partied with consumers in their own homes, versus focus group testing, to immerse themselves in what defines a party. Part of this included observing what resonates with consumers based on the visual influencers in their environment, in addition to what they served, what other brands they identified with, and how they entertained…”

WOW!

Can you see where I am going with this?

In order to help me help you, I am willing to get down with you in your own home, to discover what defines “sex” to you.  I will observe what influences your bedroom behaviour, what you use and what items you identify with during sex.

That’s right!  You too can have Dr Tim join you in your bedroom in the interest of science!  I will lend a hand, steady the ladder and make notes about your preferred lube for butt-fucking, which dildo you like or do you want a strap-on?  Do you use any flavoring enhancers during blow jobs or kitty licking?  What about rimming?  Don’t forget about the rimming!

And there is always Fifty Shades of WHOO-HOO!!!  Whip me, beat me, feel me, fuck me, bite me, burn me, cum on my tits and get on with your life!

I will be there for you so that the Mighty Doc Johnson can address your needs even more directly than before…

You will think we designed these toys just for you and you know what?  You will be one hundred percent correct.

So let me know if you are ready to enter the world of scientific research.  We’ll meet in your bedroom, backroom, garage, alley, dungeon or wherever.  I’ll be the one with the lab coat, camcorder and big smile.

It’s on Baby.  It’s on!

(Mothers of five-year olds must secure a sitter before actual action ensues…)

Q&A Day! (or, Too Lazy to Summon a Topic)

Morning Troops!

It is a beautiful Monday morning out here in Southern California.  I understand there may be a bit of rain Out East, but try to stay dry and warm now.  You hear?

So many questions!  I do believe that it is time to address a few of them and undress the askers.

Q1. Are sex toys actually useful or are they something to hide behind?

A. Sex toys are very useful.  They can help folks expand their sexual repertoire, help them understand desires and assist them score some really great orgasms!  Sex toys can help build the trust between couples and get single people through the night.  Can you hide behind them?  Well I’ve seen some pretty big toys, but none to hide behind!  (By the way, Doc Johnson sells sex toys for all tastes, desires and needs.  If you need a substitute cock, call the Doc!)

Q2. What about lubricants?

A. Deary, deary me!  Lubricants are very helpful and fun!  (remember, I make them, Doc Johnson sells them!)  Lubricants help folks that want to add different flavors to their favorite partner, lubricate orifices that do not naturally lubricate themselves and are a must when inserting oversize objects or fists.  I recommend that you always keep a bottle or two on hand for just such an emergency.  When my son was younger, the wife and I would put it on the doorknob.  Made it tough for him to turn…

Q3. Can you make semen taste like chocolate?

A. Working on it.  If I do, my next blog will be sent from an as of yet undesignated island.

Q4. Do you always think about sex?

A. Well, yes.  My job is thinking of ways to enhance your sexual experience.  And then turn it into a real thing.  Not everyone needs or wants these items, but they are incredibly important to others.  Your satisfaction is my business.

Q5. WHich is better for a quickie, oral or anal sex?

A. Dr Tim does not do quickies.  If you do not have a couple of hours to play, don’t start with me.  However, oral sex is pretty darn good for a quickie.  But then again, so is anal or even regular intercourse.  There is no best or better.  Only you and your partner know what will work for you.  Whatever happened to a good old handie now and then?

Q6. Why are strap-ons so popular these days?

A. Beats me!  I guess that more and more people are open to the pleasures derived from them.  More men have discovered the pleasures of prostate massage and more women have discovered the joy of helping.  Of course many same-sex couples use strap-ons as well.  Is there anything a strap-on can’t do?  Oh yeah, it cannot get you pregnant.

Q7. What about chemicals?

A. What about them?

Q8. Are the chemicals used in sex toys, lubricants and cosmetics bad for you?

A. From the top: Everything is a chemical.  Water, air, fruit, flowers, everything.  There are only so many elements that we know about in this world and they make up everything.

Q9. Phthalates or parabens ring a bell?

A. Yes.  And although many phthalates have been banned around the world, science has not shown any danger from the most popular.  They were banned by emotion, not science.  Parabens also have a sixty year history of safe use, but they have been taken out of many products due to the public which would rather demand things than learn about them.  You forgot to mention BPA.  It is in every canned good you have ever purchased.  Relax a little.  Scientist do not want to poison, you, hurt you or kill you.  If we did, who would buy our products?  By the way, Doc Johnson does not use phthalates and parabens are being phased out.

Q10. How many licks does it take?

A. Ask Lil’ Kim.

Q11. You think you’re so smart!  Why did you pick the Detroit Tigers in the World Series?

A. Shut up.

Well, we are out of time folks!  Keep those cards, letters, emails and dirty pictures coming in!

More is Less (or, So, What are You Wearing?)

OK.  I admit it. 

I love women’s clothes.  There, it is out in the open now.  Think what you want, but now we can move into our conversation for today.

So, what are you wearing?  Oh yeah, Baby!  You know what Daddy likes!

Clothing and sexuality have a close-knit relationship.  (See what I did there?)  The way you dress expresses the way you see yourself to others.  That outfit tells us how you are feeling and what you need.  Men and women get a real clue.  If you have the strength to walk into a party wearing a full-length tiger-print silk sheath and high heels, you will run the show.

Let’s talk t-shirts.  I love t-shirts.  I especially love them when a woman is wearing one.  Wearing a t-shirt lets us know that she is feeling secure.  A secure woman is a sexy woman.  There is this Blonde with Major Boobage with whom I have frequent meetings that knocks me out when she wears a t-shirt.  I wish she didn’t wear a bra with it as well, but you can’t always get what you want.  In fact, when I mentioned to her that the bra was unnecessary, she told me it was.

“I know you, Dr Tim.  If I didn’t wear a bra you would just happen by with a bucket of cold water that just might accidentally spill in my direction.”

She was right.  I wanted to test that theory, but she would have none of it and I would get none of it either.  *SIGH*

You know what else I have a clothes fetish for?  Fuzzy sweaters.  Oh man, big soft boobs encased in a layer of warm, fuzzy, snuggly wonderfulness.  It makes a grown man leak.  Puddles, not just caused by women!  Now I know what you might be thinking. 

“Dr Tim! When are you going to discuss sexy lingerie?”

Just a moment.  Keep your pants on.  Well at least keep them on up to your knees…

There is something else I wanted to discuss about t-shirts.  They can hide many fascinating experiences.  Have you ever lifted up a woman’s t-shirt and found a strap-on underneath?  Never saw it coming did you?  Neither did I, but baby, what a ride!  (By the way, Doc Johnson sells all types of strap-ons, harnesses, dildos, lubricants, just everything you would need!  Buy some today!)

Another great thing about t-shirts is their flexibility!  Say you were on a picnic in the woods and your lady is feeling the need for anal sex.  You can twist and pull on that t-shirt while trying to stay on for 8 seconds and it will look JUST FINE when the two of you are finished!  We need more clothes like this!  Or after a sloppy blowjob or muff dive at home, that t-shirt can be thrown into the laundry without any fuss or muss.  T-shirts – The world’s perfect clothing item?

OK, sexy lingerie.  I knew a fine young lady in college with Colossal Boobage who would opine, “Dr Tim. (Actually I was just Mr Tim back then.)  I love the feel and how I look in my sexy lingerie, but I never get to wear it long when men are around.”  I wanted to test that theory.  She had a lot of it and I got a lot of it too!  I still smile when I think of her.  (When she invited me to her wedding, her soon-to-be husband uninvited me and reminded me that the ushers and groomsmen were his brothers and cousins.)

I always did have a way with women that other men hated.

Does all of this make Dr Tim anti-nudity?  Of course not.  I’m just saying that the clothes make the woman or man.  And hopefully we will get to make you too!

Just don’t get me started about shoes!

A Parent Moment (or What do you do at work all day Daddy?)

I had one of those rare parenting moments the other day.  If you have raised any children or are raising some now, you the type I mean.  A question that blindsides you, leaving you momentarily stunned.

My baby boy (Yes, he is 20 years old now, but he will always be my baby boy.) hit me with this gem,

“Dad, do you know anything about bondage?”

“I might know a thing or two about it.”

Hmm…  OK, in for a penny, in for a pound. 

“Why?”

“I’d really like to tie someone up and think I would be pretty good at it.”

Not what you would expect from someone who you swear you just taught how to ride a bicycle and throw a ball yesterday.  Well, rather than direct him to my blog (https://quantumcogitation.com/2012/06/08/bondage-time-or-excuse-me-but-im-a-bit-tied-up/), I decided to have a rather frank conversation with him about sex, STD’s, HIV, you know, all the bad stuff.

“Dad, I know all of that stuff.  And you know I don’t have a girlfriend right now.”

Fine.  Let’s talk fetish.  Which if you are a regular reader of my blog, you’d know I have a passing knowledge of the subject.  (All my love to Taylor St Claire and Debi Diamond!)

“Well you’re not going to tie me up!”

“DAD!”

“Glad that’s out-of-the-way. How much research have you done?  Seen anything on the internet you like?”

He wasn’t sure, so I introduced him to the subject of shibari, Japanese bondage.  We did a search together and I directed him to trusted links.  (That means I know the webmaster and am secure in the low virus risk.)

This is what he was needed.  My son is an accomplished artist currently specializing in manga.  Of course Doc Johnson has the new Black Rose line and some magnificent colored ropes for just such a purpose.  http://www.docjohnson.com/bondagerope-japanese-style-purple.html

As an artist, he loves purple and all of the designs he could create using rope patterns and the various colors/textures.

“Can you get me some of these?  Purple ropes and the purple silk?”

“Sure, but if you do not have a girlfriend, how are you going to use them?”

“I”ll just practice on myself.”

Shades of David Carradine!

So we a talk about safety, not tying yourself up to the point of no escape.  Frankly I do not need to come home and find my naked son tied up on the couch.  I might find it amusing later and fodder for endless jibes, but nothing I ever really need to see in my lifetime.

So if you doing self-bondage, always be sure you leave yourself a way to escape.  Just in case your Mother or UPS comes to the door.  I did have a friend who was quite fond of handcuffs.  He would freeze the key in a block of ice, then leave it in a pan where he could reach it when it thawed.  He used a pan because once the ice as it melted slid off the table and he had to be released by a friend.

Keep a cell phone within reach in case something like that happens.  Better embarrassed than tied up for a week with no food or bathroom!

So in the end, be frank, be honest, be careful and always buy bondage supplies from Doc Johnson.  (Remember?  They pay me!)

And while a bit discomforting, it is great to know that your kids can come to you with any issues they need to discuss.

Sex and Death (or, How Macabre, I’m Stiff!)

Sex and Death.

Two things without which life would be meaningless.

Recently, someone in my immediate family shuffled off her mortal coil way too soon.  (6/22/1935-7/28/2012)  I was devastated.  And I expected that.  What I did not expect was the effect of her death on my libido.

Normally, I have to pound my erection on the windowsill in an effort to make it go down.  During this time however, he was renamed Mr. Limpy.

Having returned from a week of sadness, family and a funeral, my anticipation for a little loving was high.  My lady friend arrived and proceeded to perform first class fellatio on me.

Nothing happened.

Couldn’t enjoy it, couldn’t respond to it.  She understood, but was rather disappointed.  She was disappointed?  Here I am, with a willing all-access woman, being depressed about the recent death, thinking about my own mortality and my penis was on vacation.  Not a good time at all.  I mean, was I getting too old?  How much time do I have left?  And will there be time for a sandwich before I go?

Happily, my libido is slowly returning.  Morning wood has returned and that gleam in my eye is firing up my furnace.  It has been almost two weeks since the world was shattered.  We may or may not try sex this weekend.  But you know what?  There is more to intimacy than sex.  Snuggling, talking, listening and just being there for each other.  Beautiful!

There is sex after death.  Just take the time to heal and keep moving forward.

Be good to yourself and each others.  Sometimes we all need someone to lean on.

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