Science + Love = Looking and Feeling Great!
30 May 2013 Leave a comment
in Anatomy, Breasts, Doc Johnson, Female, Physiology, Science Tags: boobs, female sex organs, female stimulation, Hooters, Portable Pillows, Tits, women
OK folks, this may just be a wonderful fantasy, but here it is:
Squeezing boobs may prevent breast cancer.
http://www.mnn.com/health/fitness-well-being/stories/squeeze-breasts-to-fight-cancer-study-says
The real report:
http://newscenter.berkeley.edu/2012/12/17/malignant-breast-cells-grow-normally-when-compressed/
Therefore, I hereby volunteer Dr Tim’s services for all ladies interested in preventative medicine.
All sizes welcome…
24 May 2013 Leave a comment
in Doc Johnson, Memorial Day, Men, Women Tags: Memorial Day, men, women
Thank you for your service!
The Memorial Day weekend looms before us. Great sales on cars, furniture, everything we need! And talk about the BBQ, it is the official kick-off day to prepare that grill and cook up your favorite vegetables and meats.
Great fun really, but that is just the frosting on the day.
Memorial Day is when we remember the men and women who overcame adversity and offered theirs lives for the rest of us. Whether you agree with the conflicts, wars or whatever you want to call them, our soldiers stood tall.
This weekend, let’s stand for them.
Enjoy your BBQ, get a great deal on something, but never forget that freedom is not free. Not then, not now. Hopefully someday it will, but until then, we stand ready.
G-d bless you all.
17 May 2013 Leave a comment
in Doc Johnson, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Personal Lubricants Tags: Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, masturbation, orgasm, Personal Lubricants
Here we are with May more than half over and I haven’t even talked about Masturbation Month! (Been too busy practicing…)
That’s not true. I am actually a professional at it now and don’t need to practice. But if you believe the athletic drink commercials on the television, then you know that even the pros log endless hours honing their craft. And if masturbation was on Olympic event, I would certainly take home the gold. Probably with sticky hands. (Countless hours honing my log)
Relax men. Doc Johnson and good old Dr Tim are here to help.
We have everything you need to get it on, get it off and clean up.
Like to have your balls tugged while you jack off? We’ve got you covered.
Grabs those nuts and holds ’em right!
Or maybe you like to have your shaft caressed but keep that dick head free for “other” fun?
Go ahead, add some clothespins to the head.
Maybe, you would like to cum in a pornstar’s mouth?
Vicky Vette – Sweet Lady – D*mn hot fuck!
I’m telling you. We have masturbators shaped like lips, pussy and asshole. Some of your favorite adult film stars and some more abstract shapes.
Dig those curves!
If you want to stick you dick in it, Doc Johnson has it.
Men, women, trannies, light or dark, we have you covered. Pick something, stick your dick in it and stroke away the night.
Don’t forget the lube!
Water-based but feels like silicone!
Whether you are using a toy or your hand, lube it up! No one likes a friction-burned cock. Well, OK, some people do, but they have their own thing going on.
May is Masturbation Month. And if you are so inspired, go here: http://masturbate-a-thon.com/. Get your pledge forms filled out and participate!
Who said that jerking off was a waste of time?
29 Mar 2013 Leave a comment
in Anal Sex, Anatomy, Butt Sex, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Fetish, Masturbation, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, sex toys Tags: anal sex, Butt Plugs, fetish, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, sex toys
What a big asshole!
With whom am I angry? No one. No one at all. Today we talk about stretching. Not stretch marks, not playing 21 when you are 70. Orifice stretching.
Over 11 inches around!
That’s right folks, we are stretching open your asshole! Some people develop a real fetish about how far they can enlarge their anal opening. Why? Who knows? One suggestion is that taking something bigger each time is like losing your virginity all over again. Start small, and sooner or later, we have a new car port.
So how to start? Well, remember that time your finger broke through the toilet paper and your eyes flew open when you sank in knuckle-deep? That’s one way. Or you could start with a small dildo. Or…
Work it up or work your way down!
Doc Johnson has all types of toys and devices to satisfy all of your anal needs. Now you may be saying, “Dr Tim, those look so cold and impersonal. How can I get a human touch without actually involving another human?” We can help.
Feels so good!
See? We are here to help you open up and let the sun shine in! Even if it is the place “where the sun doesn’t shine,” usually.
That doesn’t actually address why people stuff such large toys into their openings. Some like the feeling of fullness, being airtight. Others take the humiliation route (keep it consensual!) and like to be “forced” into surrendering themselves to massive insertions. I know a couple of people who just like the challenge and want to be known as the one who sat on a Honda and it disappeared!
Now Dr Tim loves a nice, easy access orifice, but I would like to them to be able to feel me as well. So let’s take just a moment or two and talk about taking care of your ass.
Actually, let me refer you to a very wise and learned blog post: https://quantumcogitation.com/2010/04/30/interesting-question-caution-naughtiness-ahead/
There I cover the anatomy of the anus, different scenarios and good things about butt-fucking. Just remember a few things: Keep your ass clean, do your kegels and use lots and lots of lube! (Did I mention that Doc Johnson sells lubricants? Thought so. Daddy needs to get paid!)
Water-based but feels like silicone!
So spank it, lick it, fuck it, kiss it, spread it and take pictures! Just remember to love your asshole and use genuine Doc Johnson lubes and toys. (And be on the look out for our Oralove flushable feminine hygiene wipes!)
22 Mar 2013 1 Comment
in Dildos, Doc Johnson, Masturbation, Personal Lubricants, sex toys, Strap-ons, Vibrators Tags: dildo, Personal Lubricants, sex toys, strap-on, vibrator
Dildos. Vibrators. Soybeans. Tofu. (Well, they are meat substitutes…)
I am talking about the care and maintenance of your Mom’s Best Friend.
We get many questions about what lubricants to use with which toys, so I thought I would run down the list.
UR3:
Lifelike material – Phthalate Free: Use water-based lube. Sure, you could use silicone lube, but be sure to wash that bad boy off right away!
PVC Soft
Bendable – Phthalate Free: Use water-based lube. Yes, you can use silicone too or even Crisco, but wash it up when you finish!
PVC Hard
Non-flexible – Phthalate Free: Any old lube you want to use! Wash afterwards. (Hey! Did you see this one on House of Lies? You HAVE to get Showtime!)
Jelly
Soft – Bendable – Phthalate Free: Use water-based lube!
Silicone:
100% Platinum Cured Silicone: Use water-based lube! Some silicone toys are incompatible with some silicone lubes. Makes them melt. Tread carefully and if you insist on using a silicone based lube, wash, wash, wash right away after use.
Now I didn’t want you guys to feel left out although I know quite a few of you use vibrators and dildos too. So:
Please her, tease her, love her and use her. But you must wash her too! Preferably before you fall asleep…
22 Feb 2013 Leave a comment
in Anal Sex, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, sex toys, Strap-ons, Valentine's Day Tags: anal sex, clitoris, Couples sex talk, dildo, Female Sexuality, fetish, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, sex toys, strap-on
How was your Valentines Day? Did you get any?
C’mon, even married people get laid on Valentines Day. It is practically the law. (Federal law, it is much more than a state thing.)
You didn’t? well, even women get blue balls…
Blue Balls. We Has ‘Em. However, they are the amazing Blooming Ben Wa Balls in the brilliant Black Rose line by Doc Johnson!
If they turn this color, OUCH!
Now that sounds like much more fun, doesn’t it?
Yes, Valentines Day is much like Bondage & Discipline. You always hurt the one you love. And boy, at Doc Johnson do we have some classy ways to do it too. We’ve got everything! Harnesses, cuffs, strap-ons, paddles, whips and other weapons of ass destruction. Spice up your love life. These can be used in any room of the house. This is a very nice selection of products. Wanna see some more pictures? Me too!
So you are probably thinking, “Strap-ons are über-cool! But is that the only thrill available for anal pleasure?”
Fear not my bung-loving lovers. We have some amazing purple butt plugs for you in the very same Black Rose line. (Yes, purple product in Black Rose. Bruises often turn purple before they go black. Won’t tell you exactly how I know, but I’m sure you can find the videos on-line. Can’t you, you little web-monkeys?)
And what’s that? An AMAZING lubricant from Good Old Dr Tim’s research lab! What a wonderful world! Remember: Doc Johnson lubes help you get in and get back out easily, smoothly and with oh so much pleasure!
It is not too late! Since here and now we are alive, go get some of those great Doc Johnson toys and lubes! Show yourself or your significant other(s) how much you care. Tie them up or let yourself be tied up to let your imagination soar. Imagine how you will please your bound beauty. Or how they will please you. Life is good. Seize the Day!
As for Dr Tim? Just keep those cards, letters, pictures and videos coming in! You inspire me. Yes you do. After all, how do you think I test all these lubes and potions? My only thoughts are about you.
And while I am not sure this is what Linda Ronstadt was thinking about when she recorded her album Living in the USA back in 1978, just send me Black Roses…
15 Jan 2013 1 Comment
in Anal Sex, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Fetish, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, sex toys, Strap-ons Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, clitoris, dildo, fetish, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on
Greetings Earthlings! (And a cheerful “Howdy” to all of my off-world fans!)
As you know, Dr Tim takes his job very seriously.
Today as I was studying a trade journal, I ran across an interesting article with a very interesting concept. It seems that a major brand of chips was going to launch some new packaging and they wanted a specific feel to go with it. Here is a short blurb about their strategy:
“…As part of the research process, the corporate team actually partied with consumers in their own homes, versus focus group testing, to immerse themselves in what defines a party. Part of this included observing what resonates with consumers based on the visual influencers in their environment, in addition to what they served, what other brands they identified with, and how they entertained…”
WOW!
Can you see where I am going with this?
In order to help me help you, I am willing to get down with you in your own home, to discover what defines “sex” to you. I will observe what influences your bedroom behaviour, what you use and what items you identify with during sex.
That’s right! You too can have Dr Tim join you in your bedroom in the interest of science! I will lend a hand, steady the ladder and make notes about your preferred lube for butt-fucking, which dildo you like or do you want a strap-on? Do you use any flavoring enhancers during blow jobs or kitty licking? What about rimming? Don’t forget about the rimming!
And there is always Fifty Shades of WHOO-HOO!!! Whip me, beat me, feel me, fuck me, bite me, burn me, cum on my tits and get on with your life!
I will be there for you so that the Mighty Doc Johnson can address your needs even more directly than before…
You will think we designed these toys just for you and you know what? You will be one hundred percent correct.
So let me know if you are ready to enter the world of scientific research. We’ll meet in your bedroom, backroom, garage, alley, dungeon or wherever. I’ll be the one with the lab coat, camcorder and big smile.
It’s on Baby. It’s on!
(Mothers of five-year olds must secure a sitter before actual action ensues…)
01 Jan 2013 Leave a comment
in 2012, ANME, Doc Johnson, Psychology Tags: 2012, 2013, Anderson Cooper, ANME, emotion, Kathy Griffin, Psychology, sex toys
Ho, ho, ho! Happy New Year!
Now I certainly do not want to rain on your Rose Parade, but…
All that happened was this little ball of dirt we call home completed another circuit around the sun. Hooray.
We are celebrating Cosmic Nascar. And Mercury just lapped us again.
Oh Bother! (Yes, bother. Didn’t you read the classics when you were a kid?)
However, I am a not fussy man. Not like Old Uncle Bloggsy, who has his own blog; http://www.newberry.org/book-fair-blog. He puts the “mudge” in curmudgeon.
2012 was full of memorable events. Some of which filled me with joy, others that left me sobbing by the side of the road. Nevertheless, it was ride not to be missed. Now that I think of it, perhaps New Year doesn’t come from a bottle. And the true meaning of New Year is something much more. It is a reference point. And any scientist will tell you, reference points are most important. This is a time when we traditionally look at ourselves and assess the good and the bad.
So how did you do?
Dr Tim’s year was a bit extreme. I sunk as low as a man could go. Went into isolation. Hell looked like Heaven after what I was going through. And it burned. I had my soul hammered on the anvils of Hell. My thoughts, principles, ethics and life were in balance. And I almost let go. Would have been easy too. No more pain, no more suffering, no more darn alarm clocks. Death has always fascinated me. When my first wedding became known folks commented that it was like “Edgar Allen Poe marrying Sylvia Plath.” There no longer seemed to be a point.
But then that old spark lit up my brain like the Fourth of July. Seems as though I am made of some pretty stern stuff. I remembered who I was; I was me the whole time. Imagine my surprise. Found my reference point, re-anchored and came out the other side. Singed, but shining. Told you that reference points were important.
And how I laughed as Kathy Griffin kept trying to give Anderson Cooper a blowjob on CNN. She slips down to her knees very easily, if you catch my drift. Suddenly I am much more attracted to her!
2013, how ya doing? Not sure what you have in store for me, but in the words of a famous politician, “Bring It On!”
Oh yes, be sure to love and always use your Official Doc Johnson Toys and Lubes! After all, if I am sticking around, Daddy needs to get paid! (ANME Show next week! Wait until you see what Doc Johnson is bringing soon to a bedroom near you!)
21 Dec 2012 Leave a comment
in Anal Sex, ANME, Christmas, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Fetish, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, sex toys, Strap-ons, Vibrators Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, clit, clitoris, dildo, fellatio, fetish, Personal Lubricants, sex toys, strap-on, vibrator
Ah, the holidays!
What a wonderful time to look back, review your year and make the appropriate adjustments so that the coming year is even better. You become a better person, the type of person you had always hoped that you would be when you grew up. Kind, generous, respected and well-loved.
Time to get nostalgic about family, friends, lost or found loves. Tradition.
Speaking of tradition, WHAT DID YOU GET ME?????
Most of you were nice. Some of you were very naughty. And a few of you were nicely naughty and sent Dr Tim pictures and videos of yourselves using your fine Doc Johnson toys and lubricants! Warms my heart. Truly! No cash, but a warm fuzzy feeling like when she hasn’t shaved for a week or so.
So how was your year? Did you finally find a woman who was “all-access?” Did you find a man who wasn’t threatened by your toys or that strap-on dildo you bought?
My year was great. Here at Doc Johnson we had some very successful shows including a spectacular one at Hustler Hollywood! It was all about the Wonderland.
It was AMAZING!
Other awesome stuff happened too. Great folks getting their body parts molded, like James Deen and Vicky Vette. It was an incredibly exciting year!
And wait until you see 2013! We have new toys and new lubricants coming out that will blow your mind. And help you get blown as well.
I mean, after all, what are the holidays without a heaping dose of holiday sex?
Someone asked the other day if I had a favorite sex toy. Of course I do! It’s Debi Diamond! (A kind gentle soul who is sexy and kinky to the core. Now if I could get her and Christy Canyon at the same time…)
What better gift to give a loved one, or stranger, than a long slow blowjob or maybe some anal sex? Men and women around the globe would love to receive those presents. Many at the same time. Ever been to an out-of-control office party? Like that only everyone keeps their jobs.
And Doc Johnson is there to supply all of your sexual accessories. Your orientation doesn’t matter, we have what you need. All types of dildos, vibrators, masturbators, lubes and lotions. We help make the season bright. Or turn off the lights, we are just happy to be there with you.
So don’t be selfish this season. Give orgasms to everyone you meet. And maybe you will receive a few of your own. No matter the fetish or form, we are here for you.
And like Dr Tim always says, unless he doesn’t, “I don’t judge. I just want to hold the camcorder.”
Merry Christmas everyone! And until next year, enjoy your ho, ho, hos!
21 Dec 2012 Leave a comment
Yes, Good ‘Ol Dr Tim is in the holiday mood.
So before I get into the issues of Christmas Sex, let’s enjoy the season with a great video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3az_q4WFI0
Watch now, thank me later.
Quantum Cogitation 