Happy Veterans’ Day!

12 Nov 2010 Leave a comment

by Mystertim in Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Female, Female Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Safe Sex, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Happy Veterans’ Day!  Yes, I know I am a day late.  But I have a really good excuse.

Since all of these fine folks have done their bit, I thought that I should do their bit too.  I mean, after all they have been or are still in service to this great country of ours the US of A!

So I dedicated all of yesterday to servicing our service people.  That’s right, Good Old Dr Tim was tending to the “special” needs of any and all females that served in our armed forces.  And boy, is my tongue tired!

But they helped keep us the Land of the Free, so they are especially deserving of  a special thank you.

How about you?  Did you Service the Service yesterday?  You should!

I’m just saying…

Wrap That Wrascal!

05 Aug 2010 1 Comment

by Mystertim in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Physiology, Psychology, Regulatory, Safe Sex, Safety, Science, sexuality, STD Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

How’s your summer going?  Haul any boxes of books lately?  Make the evening news?

Mine has been pretty interesting.  Bar-Be-Que, Barq’s and Babes!  True summer living.

But even though these are those crazy, hazy, lazy days of summer, you had better watch out.

There was a report released by Harvard University claiming that men over 40 who use erectile dysfunction medications have triple the rate of sexually transmitted diseases as compared to men who did not use the drugs.

May I see a show of hands for those that are surprized by this result?  Not too many of you, huh?

In fact, according to the CDC, the 40-49 year age range accounted for the largest proportion of newly diagnosed HIV/AIDS cases in 2007.  Don’t believe me, go check it out.  I’ll wait.

Welcome back.  Sobering, isn’t it?  Let’s pull up our psychiatric armchairs and see if we can’t figure out why this is so.

Older folks are from a different time, a different age, a different mindset.  Last century, back when I was in college, the worst thing we could catch could be cured with a shot of penicillin.  There were fewer taboos.  And a LOT more risky sex than happens today.  After all, tis better to fail a Wasserman test than never to have loved at all!  The younger set may have more recent partners, but they actually tend to be safer than us old fogeys.

Even old Dr Tim isn’t sure if he has any condoms at home.  I’ll admit it, I hate condoms.  I hate wearing them, I hate the feel or lack thereof of them, I hate the taste they leave behind.  There isn’t much I like about them at all!  Except maybe the saving my life part.  I grew up with skin on skin and that my friend is a hard habit to break.  Even though I get a full STD workup every other month, I should still wear them.  And I do, if she insists.  But it shouldn’t have to be that way.  Even though women do ask to  see my test results before we proceed to Happy Land, using condoms should be an SOP.  (Standard Operating Procedure)

What about choice?  You may ask.  What about condoms in adult entertainment films?

So choose, Death or Cake. (Pie really.)  And as for adult entertainers, they are making a risky choice, but I defend their right to make it.  I consider adult film performers as stunt people.  They make risky decisions on how to use their bodies for the gratification of others.  I respect that.  Quite a few of those performers are my close personal friends and I would hate to see them be debilitated by some gruesome disease.  But I am not about to tell them how to do their job.  And I don’t think anyone else should either.  Those that try should probably try to get their own houses in order first.  However that is just my opinion.

And now that men suffering from ED can get help, they are picking up where they left off thirty years ago.  The game has changed since then and they havn’t read the new playbook.  Everyone needs to be reminded about the joys of safe sex.  No matter how old they are.  Anyone watch Penn & Teller’s show Bullsh*t about old people?  They still have sex.  The back alley slut is now the nursing home slut who thanks to modern medicine can get her favorite treat! 

Teach your parents well.  And your grandparents.  Anyone can die from HIV/AIDS and I’d rather it wasn’t you.

Interesting Question! (Caution, naughtiness ahead!)

30 Apr 2010 1 Comment

by Mystertim in Anatomy, chemicals, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“So Tim, is this too big for someone to get up their butt?”  

What an interesting question to start my day.  So let’s get ahead by getting a little behind…  

Anal sex.  Now that is one hotly contested topic.  You may remember that I briefly mentioned backdoor activities last month.  (https://quantumcogitation.com/2010/03/12/doors-what-is-behind-door-number-three/)  

Or you may remember my brief discourse about men on the receiving end of a strap-on.  (https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/08/29/strap-it-on/)  

Good memories, good times.  So let’s roll up our sleeves and really get into it now.  If this topic bothers you, here is something to keep you occupied.  

Look deeply into my eyes.

  For the rest of us, let’s take a close look at the anus, rectum and points north.  Here is a brief, unromantic diagram of said region.  

  To accomplish anal intercourse, we have to get past the exterior sphincter, through the anus, past the interior sphincter, through the anal canal, getting past the Dentate line and into the rectum!  Whew!  Anyone have a GPS ready?  OK, I know that everyone knows, or thinks they know what they are doing.  But honestly, a lot of you don’t.  (If I had a nickel for every woman nodding her head right now…)  

 The anus has quite a concentration of nerve endings and that can bring either great pain or great joy depending on your approach.  The anterior wall of the rectum leads to prostate massage in men and tickles the vaginal canal in women.  While the external sphincter is a voluntary muscle which we can contract or relax, the interior sphincter muscle is involuntary.  That means you really cannot control it.  So we need to spend some time on figuring out how to make it relax.  And as always, we have options:  

 1) Brute force, just ram it home.  DO NOT DO THIS!!!!  Who are you kidding?  That only plays in story books.  To force the anal sphincter complex open can cause a lot of damage.  It can cause tearing, bleeding, damage to the sphincters leaving you incontinent, if misguided potentially perforate the intestinal walls.  Which could lead a nasty little thing called death.  Let’s not go there, let’s keep this safe, sane and consensual (SSC).  

 2) Get them drunk!  Oh come on people!  DON”T DO THIS!!!  If one or the other partner is impaired by one substance or another, you can have the same injuries listed in item number one.  Either they won’t feel if something has gone wrong or you may not be attentive to their situation.  Either way, bad.  

 While there is nothing wrong with a glass of wine or a drink or two, stay alert if you are going to participate in risky types of sexual behaviour.  It needs to be fun, not traumatic.  No need to call those men in white jackets even if ambulance sirens turn you on.  They really aren’t interested in what you were doing anyway.  

3) Anal desensitizers.   Yep, they exist.  Heck we even sell them!  Usually they are a gel, cream or spray that contains lidocaine or benzocaine.  These are often used in anorectal drugs to ease the pain of hemorrhoids.  Now, these work very well, but they are not my first choice.  If over-used, you may not feel any “bad” pain if it occurs.  And I have always wondered, why engage in anal sex if you don’t want to feel it? So…  

 4) Warming lubes.  Yes, we sell those too!  Remember what it feels like when you get a hot oil massage?  You melt under that person’s hands.  Well, this is very similar.  Gentle caressing with the product warming your anus and your partner’s attention warming your heart.  You will probably open up like a blooming rose.  Hard, nasty anal sex is great if you are experienced and in the mood, but if you are just beginning your anal explorations, you need a lot of prep time, care and gentleness.  

 OK, lubricants.  Yes the anal tract is a mucosal membrane so there is a certain degree of lubrication available naturally.  But you should add some more.  Lots more!  So much so that you need a new bottle every time!  (Did I mention that my company sells lubricants?  Thought so.  Daddy needs to get paid!)  

 Seriously, use lots.  I prefer silicone lubes, but whatever floats your boat.  Anyone remember how Crisco sales jumped when fisting became all the rage?  

 5)  Oh yeah, rimming helps.  We can talk about that in a later post.

  So we are in!  Now with the anal canal and rectum, you have a comfortable six inches for penetration.  Stroke away to your heart’s content.  And hopefully to your partner’s orgasm!   Here are a couple of diagrams to show you where to find the anus on a male or female.  

 Now that we have covered that, how large of an item can you stick your butt?  From some videos that I have seen, really, really big!  I have seen baseball bats, arms up to the shoulder (not recommended), champagne bottles, fruit/vegetables of all kinds and a football.  I guess the real question is not how large of an item can I stick up my butt, but do I want to spend my life wearing diapers?  Yes, extreme anal stretching can lead to having an orifice that can no longer close or even prolapse.  Prolapse is when the insides come outside. 

If you keep your anal insertions limited to finger/penis/hand size, you can keep your stuff tight with kegel exercises.  Yes they work for the ass as well as the vagina!  Squeeze those muscles tight, count to ten, release and repeat.  A few sets of ten daily and you will be able to peel a banana!  Even though if you have anal sex even once, your doctor will know the next time he takes a look down there.  So, really, there are no secrets from your doctor.   

I talk too much, but when it comes to anal sex, the two or more of you had better talk everything out so you know what is going to happen.  And please, wash thoroughly, douche your tush, wash whatever was inserted up the butt before inserting it somewhere else and please do not engage in ATM or ATV activities.    

Leave that to the pros.

Happy New Year! (Quiet, I am still recovering…)

07 Jan 2010 1 Comment

by Mystertim in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Happy New Year everyone!

A fresh year is stretching out in front of us.  Another chance to make a difference!  (Remember when we were going to change the world?  Well, we are.)

Full of potential.  Full of opportunity.  Full of second chances.  Full of something…

So how did you spend your celebration?  I recall the year that I jumped nude into the Long Island Sound at midnight.  Talk about cold!  Not to mention shrinkage!  (Actually there were several of us who ran to my house up the hill from the beach and piled in front of the roaring fireplace directly afterwards.)  That was a good year.

This year I was in bed at midnight.  You know me, if I am not in bed by 10:00 PM, I go home!

But, I was in bed with company and thought, “What a perfect way to bring in the New Year.”  So intimate and warm.  No we did not have simultaneous orgasms on the final stroke of midnight.  That stuff is for stories.  But we did get up afterwards for some blueberry pie.  With real whipped cream too!

Pie, love, warmth, happiness and some great sex.  Makes one realize that this is the meaning of life.  Nothing else really matters.

So for the New Year, love yourself.  Let yourself love others.  Let others love you and it will be an amazing year.

You know, I am really looking forward to it.

Always Sniffing Around (or Smell My Fetish!)

11 Dec 2009 1 Comment

by Mystertim in Anatomy, cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Physiology, Psychology, Science, sexuality Tags: , , , , , , ,

Scent memory.  Ever heard of it?

Well, if you are an actor, you are probably familiar with sense memory.  That is where you tap into your inner self and pull up a special memory to recreate how you felt.  And scene…

Scent memory is a part of that and so much more.  In fact, the sense of smell is very important to sex.  Possibly the second most important facet!  And yes, I do believe it ties into fetishes as well.

There is a new study from the Weizmann Institute of Science led by graduate student Yaara Yeshurun.  The research appeared in: Current Biology, DOI: 10.1016/j.cub.2009.09.066.  It states, basically, that the first association with a smell gets etched into the memory.  And based on follow-up experiments, that association cannot seem to be erased.  In fact, it seems to become a mental reference point.

I feel that it may be deeper than that and associations could change, the brain can be re-programmed, but additional stimuli would be needed to accomplish it.  Let me over-simplify…

For example, if you came from a home where Italian food was prevalent, you may associate the scent of lasagna with whatever your home atmosphere was, either warm and fuzzy or cold and argumentative.  However, if your partner played footsie with you to completion under the table at an Italian restaurant, you may now forever associate the scent of lasagna with foot-assisted orgasm.

This is where I feel fetish and smell meet.  Leather folks seem to really, really love the smell of leather.  Is that due to the amazing sex?  Did their first sexual experience have them bent over a saddle?  Maybe the back seat of a ’65 Mustang?  Who knows?  But the scent of leather takes them to a special place.

So if your significant other wears makeup, when you kiss them does it intensify the feelings and lead to arousal?  Perhaps the scent of the makeup takes you back to that first encounter when the smell of her makeup and the taste of her lipstick are so fresh you can still experience them?  Maybe your first encounter was in the woods, or in a rest stop bathroom, or an adult bookstore.  All of those places have certain scents that would arouse excitement in you.  I have a friend that can’t perform unless he smells lavender since his first series of encounters took place in the home of his girlfriend’s grandmother.

Another study found that a scent that sparked arousal in virtually all of the men they tested was the smell of fresh-baked cinnamon rolls.  Go figure.  They make my mouth water, maybe my stomach will growl, but that is about it for me.  Have hot chocolate brewing when your lady friend comes over and see where that leads.  Maybe a hint of peppermint will turn up the heat.  Does apple pie fresh from the oven put a sparkle in your eye?  Cinnamon is apparently very sexy!

What scents do you use around the house or on your body.  Why did you choose those particular fragrances?  Learning about your fragrance preferences will tell someone a lot about you.  And they do!  A savvy partner can learn more about you by observing your home than by talking to you.  If you paid attention, you would know yourself well-enough to drop most of your insecurities.

Are you aware that behavior is influenced by aroma?  Stores, schools, prisons and workplaces have experimented with scent as a means to motivate, pacify, urge and focus.  You may have not noticed the scent, but it was there.  It is a very sneaky world.  If your partner needs a special favor from you, do they cook your favorite meal or wear that special perfume?  Yep.  Thought so.

Women understand the power of fragrance.  Do you?

Eat it? I just want to lick it!

16 Oct 2009 2 Comments

by Mystertim in chemicals, cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Preservatives, Safety, Science, sex toys Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Here is a question I hear fairly often, “Hey Dr Tim!  Is that edible?”

Quick answer, “Does it have Nutrition or Supplement Facts?  If not, no!”

So what about flavored lubricants, gels or lotions?  If they have flavors, they must be edible!

Yes, we make these!

Yes, we make these!

No, not really.  But here is the thing.  Have you ever heard of incidental ingestion?  Let me explain, if you have ever used for example, lipstick or lip balm, you have accidentally eaten some of it.  If you have ever kissed someone wearing lipstick, lip balm or lip gloss, you have consumed some.  Who hasn’t kissed someone and licked their lips afterwards, especially if they are using that yummy new acai berry/pomegranate lip gloss (now with kiwi!)?

Kiss me now!

Kiss me now!

That is incidental ingestion.  With flavored lubes, haven’t you ever pounded it hard and long, then given it a quick kiss of gratitude afterwards?  Well, would you rather take away the slight taste of strawberry or the industrial taste of a high-functioning, chemical tasting lube?  Thought so.  me too.  Strawberries are just so much tastier than motor oil.

So why don’t flavored lubes have nutritional facts?  You are not supposed to eat them!  If we wanted you to put the anal jelly on your toast, we would have that cool box with the information about calories, trans fat, etc, etc on a label sans naked people with a grocery store friendly name.  The same goes for lotions, creams and such.  Remember Jessica Simpson?  Her line of “edible” cosmetic products were actually called “kissable” after the Regulatory Department got through with it.

Desert Beauty

And what about those throat numbing mints?  Well, those don’t have nutritional facts because they are drugs!  They need the drug facts box on the label.  Yeah, it gets complicated.  But if you want to play with the Government, you really do have to play by their rules.  (Unless you are a real gambler.  But when you get caught, you will wish you hadn’t!)

We make these too!

We make these too!

Supplements meant to be consumed have different rules too!  They need supplement facts about daily values and junk.  Confused yet?

So lubes aren’t food.  Drugs aren’t food.  Supplements aren’t food.  Only food is food!  Follow the directions!  If it does not have nutritional/supplement facts available, it is not supposed to be eaten, chugged, or swallowed in big mouthfuls. 

And if someone wants you to eat it, ask them to take the first swallow.  That’ll separate the wheat from the chaff.

Take Your Time! (It’s not a race to the grave…)

06 Oct 2009 Leave a comment

by Mystertim in Anatomy, cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Fashion, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, sex toys, sexuality Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Practice what you preach.

Being the father of a 17-year-old boy, this phrase echos in my head quite frequently.  Today I stopped to think about that and what it means to my career and my life.

I can guess what you are thinking.  “Oh great!  A maudlin, self-indulgent rant in an attempt to cleanse his soul and make peace with the world since his life is probably well past half-over.”

Close.  (Sure enough, Horowitz playing Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata just came on my iPod.)

Can't you just hear it?

Can't you just hear it?

This is a short spiel about longing, need and redemption.  I am a big believer in redemption.  I believe it down to my bones that we can pull it off.  Let’s get back to the point.

Folks talk about what is good for you.  What you should eat, how to have sex, how to live your life.  But do they ever follow their advice?  I knew a sexologist who no longer had sex because they were tired of it.  If one does not stay up to date on their chosen field, how can they teach?

Last month I talked about sex toys and fashion.  What the heck do I know?  Well, plenty.  I personally have over two dozen pairs of shoes, more jackets than I can ever wear and a whole dresser full of sex toys and lubricants.

And I take the time to use them.  Why promote or sell something that you would never use?  My first question when I make something in the lab is, “Would I buy and use this?”  If the answer is “No!” then I go back to the bench and work it out.  I won’t even accept a “Maybe.”  If I won’t use it, how could I expect anyone else to use it?

You may laugh, be shocked, disgusted or wonder exactly what toys I own and use.  Really, that’s none of your business.  You have to buy and download the clips off the internet like everyone else.  But even though I work at one of the largest adult novelty manufacturers in the USA, I don’t use everything they make.  Because it is not right for me.  And that is the point of this convoluted missive.

Have you ever done anything willingly or been talked into doing something of a sexual nature that left you feeling dirty, despairing and crying?  I hope not.  That is not a very good place to be emotionally.  If you did it to please someone else, that was probably not a good idea.  Despite the backlash I may get from a few communities, no one really wants to feel used and unloved.  Nobody.  And that is not a healthy outlet for your sexuality.

Lie down and tell me all about it...

Lie down and tell me all about it...

My parents, always told me to wait to have sex as long as possible.  Do you think I listened?  Not a chance.  As a wise woman told me once, “I get in where I fit in!”  And guess what?  I had many Walk of Shame moments.  Some of which are forever recorded and out of my control.  That’s life.

So what did I do?  I took the time to learn about my own particular sexuality.  I used many types of toys and implements of mass destruction.  And I learned what works for me.  Who works for me.  What styles work for me.  I learned my personal rhythm.

Did I need the toys?  Sure!  But to (badly) paraphrase Carlos Castaneda, not every pupil needs the same stimulants.  Do you need sex toys?  I hope so!  I get paid that way!

So when you talk to your children or nieces/nephews or whomever and tell them that sex is a wonderful, sacred thing.  Are you speaking from experience or just talking out of your ass?

Take some time to experience truly good sex.  Either by yourself or with someone.  Experiment, find out what makes you tick.  Find your personal rhythm.  Tap into the Orgone energy of the universe.  (We will discuss Orgone energy and Wilhelm Reich later.) 

Orgone Box

Orgone Box

Harnessing Orgone Energy

 

 

 

Enrich your life and soul with uber-satisfying orgasms and feel the love of the universe.  (Oh yeah, use my products too!)  Either every day is sacred or none of them are.

Be good to yourself.  Practice what you preach.

I’ve got a good feeling about this…

Who’s Got Them? (Besides me…)

31 Jul 2009 1 Comment

by Mystertim in chemicals, cosmetics, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Preservatives, Psychology, Regulatory, Safety, Science Tags: , , , , ,

“If all of your friends jump off a bridge would you jump too?”

Sound familiar?  And not just from your Mother either.  I bet you hear that from your Regulatory Departments at least once a week.  And just like Mom, you sometimes ignore the advice and end up paying for it later.  And those particular lessons can be very costly indeed.

Ethics.  Some folks, particularly those in government, think our industry does not have them.  Well, we do, but like another thing Mom told us, “One rotten apple can spoil the barrel.” 

And so it goes for all of us.  All it takes is for one dishonest manufacturer to bring the FDA, FCC, and many other organizations down upon us.  And what could trigger such devestation?  Unsubstantiated claims for one.

Have you ever read the copy on a jar, a pamphlet or package and think, “Wow!  This is amazing!  Not only will it give me earth-shattering orgasms, but it will cure my STD’s too!”  If you did, there is a problem.  Anything that cures a condition is a drug.  Drugs require lots of safety testing, proof of efficacy, a special license and a boat-load of money.

I can pretty much guarantee that no adult novelty company is filing any New Drug Applications.

“But wait Dr. Tim!” you may say, “You make OTC Drugs!”  Yes we do, but there is a monograph that must be followed, specific language that must be used and other certain limitations which must be followed.

There is a big difference between “Delays the onset of premature ejaculation” and “Last ten times longer!”  Guess which one is correct.

Basically, if you claim it, you have to be able to prove it.  Phthalate-free is popular these days, but you need proof from your manufacturer that the product is indeed Phthalate-free.  It does no good to say it just because you believe it and then Greenpeace or someone tests it and calls you a liar in the media.  Unless you are a movie star or rock star, bad press is not good press.  And if you make drug claims, you better be able to back them up and have yourself and your product registered at the FDA. 

Yes, it does take time and it does cost money to do everything correctly.  But if you do, when the sweep comes, you may just be the last man standing.  Right next to me.

Ethics.  Got ’em?

Good Taste! (Really, lose the bleach!)

24 Apr 2009 2 Comments

by Mystertim in Anatomy, chemicals, Couples Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Physiology, Psychology, Science, sexuality Tags: , , , , ,

To paraphrase a famous commercial: She wants a man that tastes good!

Down to business.  If you were to ask a variety of women why they spit or dodge, they will reply, “His stuff tastes nasty!”  So how do we avoid this problem?

Well, if she is regularly providing oral relief, quit complaining!  But the point is to make the experience pleasurable for her so that she will enjoy it.  Let’s find out what you have been up to lately.

Your diet:  If you are subsisting on Mega-burgers, onion rings and soft drinks, you have a problem.  Junk food equals bad tasting junk.  Have a salad once in a while!  Eat some fruit and vegetables.  Choose leaner cuts of meat, chicken or fish.  Drink some water.  You see all of the materials, chemicals, that you consume have an effect on how you look, how you taste and how you smell.  Sodas are very acidic.  They make you acidic.  Fried fatty meats give you a distinctive smell as opposed to vegetarians.

Your exercise routine:  Yes, no pain – no gain.  Working out regularly flushes the toxins out of your body via sweat and your excretory glands.  If you are a couch potato, all those wonderful bad things are pooling inside of you, turning to fat.  Yes, fat guys can get laid.  Fairly often too!  But they really have to work at it.  They need to be damn charming and eloquent.  Climb every mountain indeed.  However, obesity can lead to hypertension, diabetes, heart disease and stroke to name a few.  And those medications are not always erection-friendly.  Get off your ass and take a walk or something.

But if you eat right and exercise daily, you can make your life much easier.  Not only will you be healthier, more alert and ready for action, you will taste better too!  Have you ever heard the term “clean sweat?”  It exists.  That is the light sweat coming from a healthy man or woman who just participated in some light to medium impact exercise, like a sexual encounter.  Mmmmm, think of your favorite Lady with a light sheen of sweat covering Her body as you un-make the bed.  Nice?  You bet!  You don’t mind lying next to Her after that, do you?  She’s happy too.

Even then, genetics may have dealt you a bad hand and your semen still has that ammonia flavor to it.  You need to lose the bleach!  How can you do that?  Well, there is a lot of folklore on that question.  Most popular is to drink lots of pineapple juice for a couple days before sex.  That works for some.  Others say to eat spices like cinnamon to take the bitter edge off the taste.  But can you maintain that particular regime every day?  It is hard enough to eat right in this day and age, but to maintain yummy sperm too?  Brutal.

Too much to eat every day!

Too much to eat every day!

There are some supplements that claim to help make your semen sweeter and help make her taste sweeter as well.  (Yes, the same conditions apply to the ladies.)  We have all visited the Bakery from time to time…

The best supplement I have found is Semenex.  Yes my company manufactures and sells it, but I tested many of the commercially available products and after tweaking the patented formula a tiny bit found it to be very effective.  It is a combination of fruits and spices that goes down smooth when mixed in water or shakes.  And if your diet is at least quasi-healthy, one dose a day for a couple days really makes a difference.  While no true, scientific clinical studies have been done to verify the claim, there are many, many testimonials from happy couples to groups who did taste comparison testing.  (Now there is an interesting thought!)

Mmm... Tasty...

Mmm... Tasty...

In the end, you have to be a healthy individual.  Clean up your act and your Lady should be more than willing to provide some good loving.  Supplements do help, so don’t be afraid to try some and improve your game.

Oh yes, never forget to return the favor.  She deserves it!

Premature Ejaculation (What, too soon?)

22 Dec 2008 5 Comments

by Mystertim in Anatomy, chemicals, cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Science, sex toys, sexuality Tags: , , , , ,

I’ll try to keep this short.

Folks, have you ever been in a sexual situation where the game was over before the coin toss decided?  Then you may have had an experience with premature ejaculation.  What does that really mean?

Premature ejaculation is when a man has an orgasm sooner than he or his partner would like.  If it just happens once in a while, that is fairly normal and reciting baseball scores or thinking of Aunt Martha’s arm fat may slow you down just enough.  However, if it a regular occurance, you may want to look into the issue.

Folks used to think that premature ejaculation was purely a psychological problem, but modern medicine has determined that there are physical causes as well.  Let’s take a quick look at it.  First, there is no medical standard as to how long a man should last before orgasm.  The largest indicator is that orgasming too soon causes distress or concern between partners.  But remember, there doesn’t have to be a partner.  You can also experience premature ejaculation during masturbation.  The question is, “Does it bother you?”

There are many possible causes.  Psychologically, perhaps you have established a mental pattern which could include having to rush to orgasm to avoid being caught or feelings of guilt over sex.  Yes, you can train your body to respond through repeated actions or thoughts.  So please, be nice to yourselves.

Biologically, it could be caused by abnormal hormone levels, abnormal levels of neurotransmitters, abnormal reflex activity of the ejaculatory system, thyroid, inflammation or infection of the prostate or urethra or unspecified inherited traits.  So it could be a combination of problems, or a single source.  Current thought leans towards a single source if this has been a lifelong problem.  Of course this can all be complicated by impotence (we’ll talk about this later), stress, medication or health problems.

When should you seek help?  If you are unhappy, talk to your doctor!  I cannot stress enough that your doctor has heard it all before and can help.  Don’t fear the MD!  Are there some things you can try before going to the doctor?  Sure!

Try the Squeeze Technique.  Begin sexual contact as normal.  If it feels like you are going to ejaculate, have your partner squeeze your penis right where the head meets the shaft until the feeling goes away.  It should only be several seconds.  Then continue.  Don’t worry if you go a little soft.  Simba will be up for the challenge as soon as sexual activity resumes.  Repeat as necessary, soon you may be able to control the feelings without squeezing.

Squeeze 101

Squeeze 101

Or…

You could masturbate an hour or two before sex.  The second orgasm almost always take longer to reach.  (Which reminds me of a joke:  A man picks up a sex worker for a paid encounter.  After she disrobes she sees him in the corner masturbating furiously.  She asks him why and he replies, “For $100 you’re not getting the easy one!”)  Or as a couple, you can decide not to have intercourse every time and focus on other sexual activities which may relieve some of the performance anxiety.  It may also help you feel more comfortable in your sexuality as well.

My friend Karinna Kittles-Karsten (www.sacredlove.com) is a strong believer in Sexual Toning.  She is brilliant.  Check out her website, you’ll thank me for it someday.  But don’t forget to thank her too.  Here is how she describes Sexual Toning:  Note: if you have a urinary tract infection, consult a physician before attempting.  1. Come into a squat position with your heels turned in slightly.  Elbows between your knees, bring hands into a prayer position. 2. Inhale and contract the small muscular area between your anus and genitals. 3. Exhale and relax the muscles. Repeat nine times to start.  When you become comfortable, work up to 3-4 sets a day.

Work those PC Muscles!

Work those PC Muscles!

You can also work this area sitting at your desk.

Then we have topical medications.  There is a category of Over the Counter Drugs (OTC) called Male Genital Desensitizers.  These can be creams, gels or sprays usually containing benzocaine or lidocaine.  These are sprayed/massaged on the head of the penis, under the head in particular.  After a few moments, there will be a mild numbing effect.  This will theoretically delay the physical sensations that lead to premature ejaculation.  Be sure to use it five minutes or so before engaging in intercourse.  After all, we just want to slow ourselves down, not numb our partner, right?  These products can be found in drugstores, on-line and in high class adult emporiums.  Male Genital Desensitizers are recognised drugs that are regulated by the FDA.  Only FDA registered OTC manufacturers can produce them.  Your penis is serious business and believe it or not, the US Government wants to protect it!

This is a drug folks!

This is a drug folks!

(Say, Topco Sales and Basic Solutions are FDA registered OTC manufacturers!  What a lucky coincidence.)

So, if you suffer from premature ejaculation, you do not have to suffer alone.  Talk to your partner, talk to your doctor, get yourself in better physical shape, increase your sexual repertoire, use a topical product for those precious extra minutes.  You are a stallion.  Never forget that.

side-view-human-male-reproductive-system

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