Personal Reflection (or Life goes by so quickly…)

Sometimes we do not appreciate things until they are gone.

My good friend Jeff sent this picture to me the other day and I have been thinking about it for a while.

Arlene was hands-down the best waitress at The Lamplighter in Chatsworth, CA.  Jeff and I used have lunch there fairly often and while there were younger, prettier waitresses, we were very happy to be in Arlene’s section.

She remembered our drinks, our favorite lunches and if one of us showed up solo, asked where the other guy was that day.  Arlene had that kitchen humming.  Whenever Arlene had the day off, we knew our lunch would take 15-25 minutes longer to get delivered.  High-spirited does not even begin to describe her.  Quick with a joke or console you depending on your day.

We loved Arlene.  And she loved us.

I changed jobs a couple of years ago and haven’t been there since.  But I will always remember Arlene, who gave us the safe, nurturing feeling that gave us the courage to push on in business.

People that we would never suspect touch our lives in surprising ways.  G-d bless them and all of you.

Rest in peace Arlene, we miss you.

Bare Naked Bake Sale (or, helping people who help charity rocks!)

So I have this friend…

Really!  I do have a friend and she is one of the hardest working ladies I know.  Smart, funny, talented, married (damn), and dedicated to the cause.  We may not agree on everything, but we do agree on one thing.

People in this world need help.  And we want to help.  We would give the shirt off our backs to help.  So she did and the Bare Naked Bake Sale was born.

The website will be going live soon.  To read the back story, go here:

Sign up for updates here:

I believe.  I am a financial contributor and spirit coach.

I also did a short clip featuring their slogan; “I can change the world with the shirt off my back.”

If moobs offend you, do not click this link!

You can follow Justina on Twitter (!/JustinaWalford)

What are you doing to make the world a better place?

3 Minute Poem (or, Why Can’t He Just Stick to Science?)

Yes, here is another 3-minute poem from Dr Tim for the holiday.

Why do I call it a 3-minute poem?  Because I refuse to take longer than three minutes to write one.  Cuz you see, man, if you take the time to re-write and edit, it’s no longer real.  It doesn’t have that organic flow and awkward meter.  Ya dig?  Crazy.  Here we go…

Happy Birthday USA! (by Dr Tim 2011)


Life, Liberty, Pursuit of Happiness

Is what they promised me

To live this lifetime free and bold

Was my opportunity

The world says that we’ve gone soft

And we have lost our way

I say America still shows her strength

Every Independence Day

G-d Bless America, Her hopes, Her goals

G-d Bless our Troops so true

When Evil struck, to destroy our dreams

We bled Red, White and Blue

We do not cower, we do not fear

Keeping peace is never fun

But I can guaran-damn-tee you that

Our colors will never run

Now I’m older, beaten on life’s anvil

And long for yester-year

Yet still if you insult my Land

You’ll get a boot right up your rear

Yet on cool, dark nights

Perched high in a tree

I think of things long gone

Let me tell you two or three

For baseball, I miss Willie Mays

For potato chips, please bring me Lay’s

For picnics were the greatest craze

For the holiday, let’s take off the next three days!


So cool cats, next time we’ll talk about SRS, Dilation and why you need a good lube around the house.  Later Daddio!

‘Fun With Doc’ Contest (or Sadly not what I thought…)

Attention all sexually uninhibited exhibitionists!  My Amazing Employer is doing one of those Contest thingies.  Check it out!

NORTH HOLLYWOOD, Calif.—Adult novelty manufacturer Doc Johnson announces the launch of its first-ever “Fun With Doc” user-generated video submission contest designed to place creative control in the hands of the novelty giant’s legions of fans.

Hosted at, the competition calls for loyal customers, curious consumers or anyone with a camera to submit a video showcasing their Doc Johnson toys being used in a unique, fun, inventive, and YouTube-friendly way. One lucky Grand Prize winner will receive a brand new Apple iPad2 and two runner-ups will receive a Doc Johnson gift bag tailored to their male, female or couples-friendly preferences.

All that is needed to enter is a camera, a YouTube and Twitter account, and a favorite Doc Johnson toy. Entrants will need to shoot their video and upload it to YouTube, follow Doc Johnson (@TheOriginalDoc) on Twitter, and send a tweet that mentions @TheOriginalDoc, which includes their YouTube video link. All submitted videos that follow these guidelines will be available to view and at

“Just as we do with our products, we consistently look to innovate in terms of engaging our fan base,” said Chad Braverman, Doc Johnson’s director of product development and licensing. “Our goal with this contest is to provide consumers a platform to display their creativity, showcase the personality of Doc Johnson as playful and inventive, and promote the brand in an entirely original way. Through the tremendous success of our YouTube channel and other prior social media campaigns, we’ve seen firsthand that there’s a real benefit for companies to interact with the consumer through the development of organic, user-generated content. We can’t wait to see what pops up during this contest.”

The winners will be chosen based upon the number of YouTube views they receive. After the allotted time, the Top 10 videos with the most YouTube views will be selected as the Finalists. A panel of judges made up of Doc Johnson representatives will judge the entries in categories including: originality, creativity, humor and effective representation of the Doc Johnson brand. For a list of official rules and regulations, visit

Me again: Remember, YouTube friendly.  But if you have to shoot porn, please send it to:

Memorial Day (Or a Day for quiet reflection and good sex!)

I know I am early for a post, but this is important.

Today is Memorial Day.  A day when we honor the men and women of the Armed Forces that won our freedom, united a nation, and fight all over the world to keep us free.

I salute each and every one of you.  And I owe a debt of gratitude to each.  Thank you for your service to us and your nation.

Serious link:

And as for the good sex, I am repeating my efforts and offer from Veteran’s Day.  Please feel free to call me for your personal thank you.  (Especially you Rebecca!)

God Bless America!

Blizzard Watch – Los Angeles! (Or How I survived the winter!)

That’s right!  Blizzard in Los Angeles.  We filled up our gas tanks, we laid in plenty of wood for the fire and stockpiled groceries to the ceiling.  Deep down in our DNA we remember the arctic cold and foraging for scraps in our ancestors’ ancestors’ youth.

And what did we get?  Well, at my house we had about four minutes of hail (pea-sized) and if you squinted very, very hard a few flakes of precious snow.

But we Californians are a hardy bunch, bred from pioneer stock.  By Sunday we regrouped and pulled of the Biggest Award Show of the Year!  (Kirk Douglas is the man!)

Now we know what you folks on the East Coast went through this year.  Brothers in Ice.(TM)  In fact, twitter and facebook were filled with pictures of our single layer accumulation of frozen precipitation.  We were so excited that we resembled crazed weasels on stilts.  What a rush!

What’s that you say?  We are more Brady Bunch than Hardy Bunch?  I’ll have you know that my electric blanket was dialed to “3”!  And it did plummet to 29 degrees F too.  So how did I keep warm?  Hence this brief missive.

A reader asked me the names of my favorite adult performers.  Some you may know, some you may not.  But they were all very instrumental to my psychosexual development.  Just try not to read too much into that…

So, in no particular order, may I present:

Angel (don’t know her last name, but her skin was so alabaster that I thought she was albino!), Janie Robbins, Viper, Marilyn Chambers, Seka, Sulka, Jack Wrangler, Kelli Richards, Taylor St Claire, Vanessa del Rio, Heather Hunter, Christy Canyon, Gianna Michaels, Vaniity, Vanessa Blue, Olivia O’Lovely, Paul Thomas, Sascha (looked like Burt Reynolds), Gia Darling, Debi Diamond, Asa Akira and too many more to name them all.  There are some performers who I only remember how they looked.  Couldn’t get much information from the 8mm loops back in the day.  Especially on the truly kinky films where everyone was masked or hidden.  I’d love to know who those folks were so that I could thank them someday.  Anyone else remember when hardcore sex, SM, GS, etc were all in one film?

And thinking about them, recalling my favorite scenes and actually watching a few kept me more than warm!  These folks truly seemed to enjoy themselves during their scenes and enthusiasm really makes the movie for me.  I even had the pleasure to work with a few of them and enjoyed every minute!  You see, the adult performers who don’t really enjoy the work, the ones who never smile or laugh during their scenes, unless it is some hardcore SM but then those in charge should be having fun too, I tend to forget.  The ones who make me smile and laugh really percolate my hormones.  Love what you do!  Oral, anal, kink, BD/SM, straight, gay, bi, trans – live it and love it!  And if you use toys or lubes – be sure to bring your Official Doc Johnson goods to the party!

Today’s Lesson:  Adult performers are human, just like us.  Some are grateful, some are not.  Some are a joy to work with/hang out with and some you never want to see again.  Some love their job, others are just in it for a paycheck.

I love my job.  How are you doing today?

As always, send questions, notes, paypal transfers to:  And if you are an adult performer who wants to be on my list for some reason, show me how you love your job.

Valentine’s Day (or Get your Heart-On!)

Seriously, how could I not do a special Valentine’s Day Post?  All the other bloggers are doing it!  (And if they all jumped off a bridge, well I would double-check my bungee cord!)

Sex.  Valentine’s Day is all about sex.  No, no!  Do not even try to deny it.  You come across with the goods and they just plain cum.

Chocolates for sex or sex for diamonds it is all the same.  (G-d bless the chocolates ladies!  The Boss pays me well, but not that well!)

So let’s talk about chocolate!  Eating chocolate can simulate those warm, gooey feelings of being in love.  How?  Well, chocolate has many different chemicals in it that can really help.  For example:  The chemicals in chocolate affect levels of the body’s mood-affecting chemicals, which include serotonin, endorphins, theobromine and phenylethylamine. Serotonin is a chemical messenger in the brain that affects emotions, behavior, and thought. Endorphines are chemicals in the brain that are responsible for positive moods. Theobromine is stimulant found in cocoa which gives chocolate mood elevating effects. Phenylethylamine is a naturally occurring neuroamine which has been shown to relieve depression, increase attention and promote energy. Your body releases phenylethylamine in response to romance.

WHEW!  Science on a holiday.  I am truly a madman.  Chocolate, dark chocolate especially, contains many essential vitamins and minerals for your body’s health.    Oh, and it appears that the antioxidants in dark chocolate can increase you “good” HDL cholesterol levels.  Try to keep it to two ounces a day though.

I know, everything to excess, moderation is for monks.  But monks tend to live quite a while and you wouldn’t want to miss out on the adventure would you?

Now some of you folks out there are wondering, is it OK to indulge in anal sex or breast copulation (Tit-fucking) on Valentine’s Day?  Sure it is!  After all, what other body parts are heart-shaped?  Turn that tushie upside down and there is a beautiful heat for you to penetrate with your Cupid’s arrow.  And when you cup her breasts, ta-daaa!  Another heart shape.  Just meant to be written on with your own special ink.  Just be sure to lend a warm washcloth or whatever help she desires to clean up.

So bring home the chocolates, the flowers, the panties, the jewelry and most importantly the Doc Johnson lubricants and toys.  (Remember? I work there.)  Show your Significant Other how much you love, how much you think and how much you desire to hold them, tease them and please them.  And just maybe, if you are sincere, you will get an extra helping of good loving in return.

Hopefully, today isn’t the only day you are scheduled to have sex.  My love knows no time or date.  Heck it doesn’t even own a calendar!  But if this is the one day when the two of you can let down your defences and joyfully give yourselves to each other, do not let any one spoil your day.  For today is all about Love, which coincidentally is the story about my life. 

My life is about Love.  What’s yours?

Medical Play (An MRI? Really?)

How many of you are into medical play?

Yes, I have played a doctor behind the woodshed and have used the phrase “Hellooo Nurse!” on way too many occasions.  But how about the use of sounds, Wartenburg wheels, TENS units, performed the Num-Num test and the like.  A good pair of stirrups goes a long way.

Check this out:

Yes, someone did a study of what coitus looks like in an MRI machine.  It is amazing.  Blew my mind.  The actual clip was assembled from all the pictures taken during the procedure and is in the last-minute of the clip.  Check it out.  I will never get those images out of my mind.

And let me know if you want to discuss the medical fetish.  No need for an appointment.  The Doctor will see you now.

Happy Veterans’ Day!

Happy Veterans’ Day!  Yes, I know I am a day late.  But I have a really good excuse.

Since all of these fine folks have done their bit, I thought that I should do their bit too.  I mean, after all they have been or are still in service to this great country of ours the US of A!

So I dedicated all of yesterday to servicing our service people.  That’s right, Good Old Dr Tim was tending to the “special” needs of any and all females that served in our armed forces.  And boy, is my tongue tired!

But they helped keep us the Land of the Free, so they are especially deserving of  a special thank you.

How about you?  Did you Service the Service yesterday?  You should!

I’m just saying…

Lubricant Study

Anyone else read this today?

As you might have guessed, I have a few comments.

1) Lubricants cannot prevent the transmission of HIV or STDs. Not yet. And when they do, they will be presciption-available only. I know that there are a few existing studies that show that carrageenan MAY inhibit the HIV virus, but anybody marketing on that claim faces substantial wrath from the FDA when caught.

2) Yes, if people are going to engage in unprotected anal sex, it would be nice if lubricants do not facilitate the virus. This is another reason the FDA wants all personal lubricants to become registered medical devices. So that they can have more control. Should they have it?

3) Medical device registration and testing is very thorough. It is safety based and until now, no one had considered whether lubes could be preventative.* The FDA requires so much testing of toxicity that this study surprises me. I mean the FDA even requires that lubricants are injected into the bloodstream of mice as a safety test related to rectal claims.

4) Lubes don’t cause infection. Unprotected sex with unsafe partners causes infection.

* Actually, I have been reading about companies working on lubricants that would actually prevent the transmission of HIV for years. How I wish I had that R&D budget!

So how much protection do we as a society owe people who are hard of thinking? Do we pass more and more laws until every chemical, food or activity is illegal?

Where does personal responsibility come in to the picture? If someone engages in unprotected anal sex with multiple partners, do they deserve to die? I don’t think so.

Should you have to get a prescription from your doctor for personal lubricants and tell that person it is for anal sex? Doctors can tell if you have even been anally receptive, so would that be a big deal for you?

Should all products of every kind be pulled off the market until such a time that they are deemed safe by scientific study? And will people believe it? The fact that every scientific organization around the world has cleared phthalates for use in toys has not stopped the emotional banning of the substances. People want science to help them, but then refuse to believe its findings because some reporter or blogger thinks they know more than hundreds of scientists.

Personal lubricants are a necessity of life. We need them. But trusting your lubricant to protect you from your poor choice is like trusting your car to protect you while driving drunk.

Please think and act responsibly. I do not want to lose any more of you.

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