Priapism (or: How Long is Too Long?)

Today’s topic is near and dear to my heart.  Priapism.

So what is Priapism?  Why is that a bad thing?

Priapism is when the penis or clitoris remains erect for four or more hours with no physical or psychological stimulation.  This is not a good thing.  Believe it or not, priapism can lead to permanent erectile dysfunction, meaning that if it is not treated quickly, the damage caused may prevent you from ever attaining a natural erection again!

There are two types: High flow and low flow.  High flow is rather uncommon and involves a ruptured artery which caused the blood to flow into your penis.  It is like a garden hose where the pressure never relents.  Low flow is when the blood flows into the penis, but cannot get back out.

Causes:  Drug use both prescription and illegal, blood disease like sickle-cell anemia, blood clots, injury to the area, even poisonous venom from a scorpion or black widow spider.

Treatments:  Ice packs, pharmaceuticals and inserting a needle to remove the blood.  That does not sound like any fun at all!

So really, if you have an erection that lasts over four hours, get to the Emergency Room!  Do not risk it.  Cases of pripism with women are possible, but most uncommon.  This is basically a guy thing.

However, there is a major difference between priapism and being a Marathon Sled Dog like Dr Tim!

I am not bragging (OK, I am) but my record sack time was ten and a half hours.  Sure stopping for lunch and a shower made it more like ten hours, but I’m keeping the half.

It is not uncommon for men to be able to last an eternity in the sack, but it is also not always welcome.  If I had a nickel for every time a woman asked me, “Through yet?” I would easily have a dollar and a half today.  Guys, she may want you to last longer, but not all night!  She’s got other stuff to do besides you.  Saying that “We are going to do it all night long!” is a much different reality than actually doing it all night long.  There is chafing, body odors, stiff necks and all sorts of things that are not pretty.

Some of you are going to want to know how to last that long.  Here are a couple of secrets.  Masturbate.  A lot.  You will get so used to your hand with kung-fu grip that the clench of a normal vagina or rectum will not give you the stimulation you need to orgasm.  Not sure how that could be fun.  Another includes body modification, so I think I will not explain it.  Although this may have something to do with my personal longevity.  Which is a pretty interesting story.  We should discuss it someday during the afterglow.

Some guys can do it psychologically.  Train yourself not to orgasm because orgasm equals babies.  Still wear a condom though, pre-cum has sperm in it too.  Then when you get close, back off, give her some face until the feeling passes.  If I deny the first orgasm, I can go just shy of forever.  But make sure that your partner is a willing participant or it may end badly for you.  I had a woman break up with me because she claimed I was faking orgasm.  This woman would cry if she could not get me to cum quickly, so I started faking it.  Funny thing is, the time she accused me of faking it, I hadn’t.  So make sure to keep it real.

Now some of us are just not meant to be marathon men.  Don’t worry about it.  Dr Tim has an answer for you.  Use some of Doc Johnson’s Prolong Male Genital Desensitizer.  Just a dab under the head and you will increase your sack time.  And who knows?  Maybe after a while you won’t need it any more.

So how long is too long?

If you dick doesn’t go down after four hours and you haven’t been playing – run to the doctor.

If you are a marathon sled dog – it’s over when she says it’s over.  Make sure she is happy and just maybe she will stick around to finish you off.

Now MUSH!

Vibrator Addiction (R-R-R-R-R-Really?)

Vibrator Addiction.  Next on DrTim.  Stay tuned!

The question has been raised.  What are the pros and cons of using a vibrator and can you become addicted?

From bumblebees in a hollow piece of wood to today’s finest metal, plastic and motors, vibrators are a big, big seller.  There are many articles on the history of vibrators. You should look them up.  I’ll wait…

Now that you are either completely knowledgable or thoroughly confused, let’s take a look at the vibrator.  Why does it exist?  Isn’t a dildo or strap-on good enough?

While vibrators have been around for a long, long time, most people believe that they were invented to cure hysteria in women.  Yep.  Only women suffer from hysteria and the only cure is a good orgasm.  Except, back then, hysteria was an excitable condition and women didn’t have orgasms.  Well, the good ones didn’t.  And after all, who isn’t calmer after a good cum?

We’ve come a long way baby!  So, in my warped little mind, here is why they really invented the vibrator.  It has nothing to do with the failure of many men to help their partner achieve orgasm. (Well, maybe a little. See my post about the Amazing Clitoris. ( https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/10/15/the-amazing-clitoris/)

My belief is that it was either a well-intended lover who created it for their Lady or the Lonely Lady herself.  Dildos have existed much longer than vibrators.  Since the Dawn of Man, we have been looking for things to stick into our orifices.  Us and the bonobos.  We like it.  It feels good.  And we are all really sex-oriented creatures who if we could, would just eat, sleep and fuck like every other animal on the planet.  Blogging?  Who would have the time?

Back to the vibrator.  Dildos are great.  They are sweet, smooth rides that don’t pinch us or pull our hair during the act of masturbation.  However, they don’t move the same way.  I want to believe that the vibrator was invented as an attempt to replicate the heartbeat and quiver of your human lover.  We do not just insert and lie there. Well, the good ones don’t.  But just by being alive we transmit a hum, a frequency, a throbbing to let you know we are there and experiencing emotion.  A dildo is like a Honey Badger.  The Honey Badger don’t care!

But a vibrator!  Ah!  That hums, it vibrates, it has a throb that lets you know it is there and means to take care of business!  It can send your nerve endings into overdrive. Which brings us to Vibrator Addiction…

Does it exist?  I don’t know.  If you research and study long enough, you may find just as many arguments for vibrator addiction as against it.  As for me, I don’t happen to believe in many “ailments” of the modern human.  We seem to be, as a species, intent on discovering conditions in an attempt to cure whatever behavior we do not like in ourselves.  Why?  To make money and let the World know that it is Not Our Fault.

So why use a vibrator?

It is quick, clean, teases us just the right way and it doesn’t snore.  Seriously, vibrators massage our muscles to relieve the tension.  And a little clitoral stimulation is a good thing.  Some folks like to have a vibrator inserted deeply and feel the throb.  It’s all good.  You should buy one.  Or two.  Or twenty!  (Just make sure to look for Doc Johnson on the label!  If it’s from the Doc, it is as good as cock! TM)  Be sure to buy lube too!  I’ll tell you why:

Everything is better with a bit o’lube on it!  If you vibrate dry, penetration is difficult, and you may over-stimulate the nerve endings in your clitoris.  If you over-stimulate, the nerve endings will shut down and you might think that you broke your clit.  You didn’t.  You just gave it an owie.  Take some time to relax.  If you already had an orgasm, slip into a warm tub and soak.  And keep you fingers off it for a while.  It is the same with men.  If they jerk off without lube, the penis becomes a bit numb, delayed ejaculation, chafing and bleeding.  If this is the case.  Just stop touching it!

The lube will keep things slick and moving.  Can you become addicted to masturbation?  Um, I think we all are addicted to masturbation.  It feels good and releases endorphins.

Can you become addicted to vibrators.  Well, sure.  People can become addicted to anything if the set their minds to it.  (We like to use the word Fetish instead of addiction for fun things.)  I wouldn’t recommend using one every time though.  Mix it up, get a human partner, enjoy all of the sensations that life can give you.  However, if you can no longer orgasm without mechanical help or by masturbation, maybe you should talk to someone.  After all, humans were built as social creatures for there is strength in numbers.  But if you are happier that way, who am I to talk?  Be happy.  Sex is whatever you want it to be and as long as you are not damaging anyone physically, emotionally or mentally, have at it.

To sum up:

Pros: Fun, easy, endorphins, easy to hide, easy to clean, won’t hog the covers

Cons: Too much can numb the nerves, can’t hug you after a bad day, never cooks

So like I said, buy sixty or seventy and try them all.  But in my humble opinion, vibrators are the most fun if you use them together.

(Don’t be such a stranger!  Write to me!)

Valentine’s Day (or Get your Heart-On!)

Seriously, how could I not do a special Valentine’s Day Post?  All the other bloggers are doing it!  (And if they all jumped off a bridge, well I would double-check my bungee cord!)

Sex.  Valentine’s Day is all about sex.  No, no!  Do not even try to deny it.  You come across with the goods and they just plain cum.

Chocolates for sex or sex for diamonds it is all the same.  (G-d bless the chocolates ladies!  The Boss pays me well, but not that well!)

So let’s talk about chocolate!  Eating chocolate can simulate those warm, gooey feelings of being in love.  How?  Well, chocolate has many different chemicals in it that can really help.  For example:  The chemicals in chocolate affect levels of the body’s mood-affecting chemicals, which include serotonin, endorphins, theobromine and phenylethylamine. Serotonin is a chemical messenger in the brain that affects emotions, behavior, and thought. Endorphines are chemicals in the brain that are responsible for positive moods. Theobromine is stimulant found in cocoa which gives chocolate mood elevating effects. Phenylethylamine is a naturally occurring neuroamine which has been shown to relieve depression, increase attention and promote energy. Your body releases phenylethylamine in response to romance.

WHEW!  Science on a holiday.  I am truly a madman.  Chocolate, dark chocolate especially, contains many essential vitamins and minerals for your body’s health.    Oh, and it appears that the antioxidants in dark chocolate can increase you “good” HDL cholesterol levels.  Try to keep it to two ounces a day though.

I know, everything to excess, moderation is for monks.  But monks tend to live quite a while and you wouldn’t want to miss out on the adventure would you?

Now some of you folks out there are wondering, is it OK to indulge in anal sex or breast copulation (Tit-fucking) on Valentine’s Day?  Sure it is!  After all, what other body parts are heart-shaped?  Turn that tushie upside down and there is a beautiful heat for you to penetrate with your Cupid’s arrow.  And when you cup her breasts, ta-daaa!  Another heart shape.  Just meant to be written on with your own special ink.  Just be sure to lend a warm washcloth or whatever help she desires to clean up.

So bring home the chocolates, the flowers, the panties, the jewelry and most importantly the Doc Johnson lubricants and toys.  (Remember? I work there.)  Show your Significant Other how much you love, how much you think and how much you desire to hold them, tease them and please them.  And just maybe, if you are sincere, you will get an extra helping of good loving in return.

Hopefully, today isn’t the only day you are scheduled to have sex.  My love knows no time or date.  Heck it doesn’t even own a calendar!  But if this is the one day when the two of you can let down your defences and joyfully give yourselves to each other, do not let any one spoil your day.  For today is all about Love, which coincidentally is the story about my life. 

My life is about Love.  What’s yours?

Happy New Year! (And it looks great!)

Here we are again.  Another year older and deeper in debt.  But, most of us are still working, are relatively healthy and get enough to eat.  Yay us!

I get comments from folks that my job must be a non-stop thrill-ride.  That I must have more fun on a Monday morning than most people do all weekend.  And they are mostly correct.  However, there is also great sacrifice and dedication that goes into my work.  Do you think I would give anyone a product to try that I haven’t used myself?

No, I wouldn’t.  And I wouldn’t expect anyone to try anything that hasn’t been tested on myself or one of my lab slaves.

Let me tell you about sacrifice.

There are a couple of major trade shows going on this week and weekend.  There will be toys, lubes, dvds, major porn performers and more!  But do you think these things just happen?  Heck to the NO!

I spent my New Year’s Eve weekend testing new products with a most wonderfully open-minded group of like individuals.  (Some of whom you have seen in films…)  There were women, men, trans, midgets, all colors, shapes and sizes, you name it, they were there.  We started Friday afternoon and continued on to Sunday Lunchtime.  And let me tell you, there was no toy, lube, position, combination or video left undone.  Nothing was left unprobed.  Some products passed with flying colors.  Some went to the recycle bin.  Most were used up and worn out.  Just like us.

The lubes had to reduce the friction co-efficient adequately to facilitate multiple rounds of penetration of varying depths and rates of acceleration.  Which means they had to be slippery as all get out, fast or slow and last long enough for everyone to be happy.  There were all types of products to lube, eat and drink for every occasion.  (Most of which are still Top Secret so I can’t tell you much yet!)

The Good Old Doc himself went into sensory overload more than once.  And I am pretty experienced so that should tell you something.  It was probably Monday afternoon before the buzzing in my ears stopped.  Oh the toys!  The colors, the colors!  Oh the humanity!  Thank goodness they finally untied me.

But we did it.  For you.  Because we care.  Your pleasure is our business and we aim to please.

So next time you think we have some of the best jobs in the world, think again.

We do…

Resolved! (Is it even possible for me to be better?)

Good Old Dr Tim has come to your rescue and jotted down some ideas for 2011.  Give them a shot…

Resolutions for the New Year:

1. Enjoy myself more. 

How can I enjoy myself more?  Well, as the old song says, “Masturbation can be fun!”  Really, if you are single, partnered or married a little bit of self-love is a wonderful thing.  After all, how can you direct your lover to your most sensitive erogenous zones if you don’t know where they are located?  Let your hands roam your body, do it in front of the mirror, with your eyes closed however you like, but leave no inch of skin untouched.  Discover what a light touch vs a heavy touch does for you.  Ah, the things you will discover!  While you are at it, get a nude full body massage.  Personally, my favorite bits of a full body massage are my head and my feet.  Who knew?

2. Enjoy others more.

Take the time to pay very close attention to your partner and loved ones.  Just like you, there are probably things they would enjoy if they knew about them.  Give them a slow sensuous massage and see where it leads.  Pay attention to those out-of-the-way spots and build up the sensations.  Tease, tease, tease, tease some more, then taste.  Unbelievable!  They go nuts!

3. Try new things.

Buy lots and lots of sex toys sold by Doc Johnson!  Do it!  (Remember?  I work there.  ‘Nuff said.)  I have it on excellent authority that the Pocket Rocket is magic!  (I use one too…)

Seriously, try new things.  Share a book, video, sex toy catalog (hint, hint) with your lover.  Talk openly and as honestly as possible about new adventures.  Back door?  Yours or hers? Check out my archives.  There is an excellent article about strap-ons (https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/08/29/strap-it-on/), anal sex (https://quantumcogitation.com/2010/04/30/interesting-question-caution-naughtiness-ahead/), the clitoris (https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/10/15/the-amazing-clitoris/), premature ejaculation (https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/12/22/premature-ejaculation-what-too-soon/) and more!

4. Open yourself to love and forgiveness.

And start with yourself.  Nobody is rougher on me than I am.  My dear, dear friend Taylor opened my eyes though.  Once I forgave myself for my shortcomings and began to like myself better, well everything changed.  My eating habits got better, I slept better, I exercise more, weight is falling off of me too.  That woman probably saved my life.  Love you!  So scoff if you like, but it really can help.  And when you are open to love, you are open for business.  A good positive vibe is very sexy and draws people into your circle.  Several of them would probably love to sleep with you too!  Saddle up!

5. Talk to someone.

It is a wonderful thing to be open up and express yourself without fear of recrimination.  Freedom never tasted so good.  You are not alone in your thoughts.  Hopefully your partners can do this with you.  If not, do you have a friend with whom you can discuss anything?  A therapist?  Or an unshockable group of warm caring folks?  (Check out my Blogroll.  One of the world’s best is there.  I’m looking at you Dr. Suzy!)

6. Summing up.

To quote a fictional character from a book, when asked to explain the universe he said, “It’s a funny old world.”

So relax, open up, enjoy yourself more and you will see that you didn’t really have to change much at all.  2011 looks like it is going to be another wild ride.  So buckle up, grab some condoms, sex toys from Doc Johnson and full speed ahead!

And if you don’t find your favorite fetish discussed or have a question, write to me!  We can also go into greater detail about older posts.  I’ll answer your question and will probably dedicate a post to it.  My email address is: drtim@quantumcogitation.com

The Amazing Clitoris

Pop Quiz!

Is the clitoris more like an iceberg or a paper airplane?  Use both sides of your paper if necessary.

BOTH!!  But unless you have made a specific study of the body part in question, you may be amazed by that answer.  Let’s get scientific…

You may be familiar with the glans of the clitoris, or “the little man in the boat” as it was called back in my youth.  But the actual structure is much larger, with most of it hidden internally by bone and fat.  Just like an iceberg!  You see only the tip, but there is more, much more!  Now imagine a paper airplane.  Start at the point.  That is the glans.  Now follow the two wings outward at an angle.  These are the two arms of the clitoris.  They extend almost to where the muscles that run up the inner thigh end.  That makes the area where the inner leg meets the pelvis pretty sensitive.  No wonder she loves it when you nibble there!  Between the arms are two bulbs, one on each side of the vaginal opening.  Check out the illustration:

Anatomy

Anatomy

You may be wondering just what the heck all this does.  We have an idea, but believe it or not, the female sexual organs have never been studied as much as the men’s.  In fact much of what we now know about the clitoris has been recently re-discovered in the 1980’s.  No that isn’t a typo.  I really wrote since the 1980’s.  Kinda sad, huh?  For a long time, medical texts basically ignored the female sex stuff.  I read that the best information was from dissections done over a hundred years ago and that wasn’t quite accurate.

So, does the clitoris have a function?  Absolutely!  Lots of them!  Probably more than we have already figured out too.  For example, the clitoris surrounds the urethra on three sides while the fourth is embedded in the vaginal wall.  When stimulated, the erectile tissue swells and helps close the urethra possibly preventing bacteria from entering and causing bladder infections.  Yes, it can and does happen.  The bulbs swell keeping the vagina firm to aid penetration.  And you thought only men had erectile tissue.  Another favorite function is of course, aiding in orgasm.   We should talk about orgasms sometime.  Let’s plan it over coffee.

So from the look of things, it is possible that the G-Spot is really part of the clitoris.  Nibbling of the hip joints and pressure on the pubic bone all seem to make sense when you consider the total anatomy.  There may even be no difference among clitoral, vaginal and anal orgasms as everything seems to be tied together.  Fascinating!

So who finally did all this research?  Well one of the most important people you can thank Helen E. O’Connell (Department of Surgery, University of Melbourne, Parkville, Victoria, Australia and Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology, University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, Michigan) who has been spearheading the research into the anatomy and physiology of the clitoris and has been doing a lot of great work on health issues that effect women.  Hopefully with her work, urinary surgeries could be accomplished without compromising sexuality.  Just as prostate operations can leave some men partially impotent, many surgeries can damage the nerve pathways affecting the clitoris.  (The illustration is from her paper “Clitoral Anatomy in Nulliparous, Healthy, Premenopausal Volunteers Using Unenhanced Magnetic Resonance Imaging” written with John O. L. DeLancey.  J Urol. 2005 June; 173(6): 2060-2063)  It’s a good read if you into that knid of thing.  (And I am!)

It’s about time.

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