Erotic Spitting (or How Is It Raining in the Bedroom?)

15 Apr 2011 3 Comments

by Mystertim in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, sex toys, sexuality Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Today I was having lunch with a beautiful, dusky-complexioned woman who was telling me about her weekend.  Let me tell you, this woman was HOT!  Think of Salma Hayek in Frida.  HOT!  And she was telling me about stretching naked in the sun before settling in the jacuzzi with her morning mimosa.  I love this woman.

Then she told of an encounter she had recently where her male friend kept spitting on her.  Interesting concept.  I asked if he was doing it for added lubrication (as I scolded her for not having her Official Doc Johnson Personal Lubricants handy!)  And she said it wasn’t for lubrication.  He was taking mouthfuls of water and spraying it over her chest.  I mentioned that I would love to spray something over her chest, and she touched my hand while doing the woman’s “You Aren’t Getting Any” laugh saying, “Oh Tim…”

But she touched my hand so I still have a shot.  (I’m a Guy. We always believe we have a shot at any one we desire.  Men are just like that.)

So spitting.  Interesting concept.  Let’s take a look at it.

Now spitting, in a BDSM context makes sense to me.  There are quite a few people into giving and taking erotic humiliation.  They get off on having someone tell them that they are pitiful excuses for human beings and how crawling should be their preferred mode of transport.  And there are those that get turned on by doing that to people.  Divorce lawyers for example.  It is meant to be demeaning and dehumanizing during a scene.  “You dirty little worm.  Take that”  *spit* *slap*  “Now clean it up!”  Very reminiscent of Golden Showers.  (Another topic for another day.)

Not for everyone.  But it clearly delineates the line between the Top and Bottom.  Female to male or Male to female doesn’t really matter.  However, they weren’t doing a BDSM scene.  This was your normal end of the bed, flat on her back, Feet in the air while he stood and played for par.  So why would he be spitting on her?

My first thought is that he watches too much porn.  Not that there is such a thing as too much porn, but if you are watching it on your cell phone in church, you may want to address the issue.  It is very common in porn today to see a lot of spitting.  She is performing a blowjob, pulls back, spits on his dingledorfer and then starts sucking again.  Or he does that while licking her bajingo.  Could be lube.  Or they could just be showing how hot and bothered they are and how committed they are to getting their freak on.

Or, as a very sexy blonde with major boobage suggested, perhaps it was an attempt at sensation play.  She could envision being very worked up, burning with desire and seeing an arch of liquid jet out to splash coldly on her nipples.  Yep, she had my undivided attention right then…  How about doing some snow-fucking and spraying hot cocoa over your partner.  The whole idea is opposite sensations to increase pleasure.  I will be spending more time with this Lady.  There may be a thing or two that she can teach Ol’ Dr Tim.

Besides, after a really great sexual encounter, aren’t you covered with all kinds of body fluids everywhere?  So what’s a little spit?  Some folks will never like it, some will just go with the moment but others will get a thrill and go back for more.

Be good.  Be safe.  No spitting, spanking or humiliating unless you are both/all are into it.

Party on!

Priapism (or: How Long is Too Long?)

01 Apr 2011 Leave a comment

by Mystertim in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Physiology, Psychology, sexuality Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Today’s topic is near and dear to my heart.  Priapism.

So what is Priapism?  Why is that a bad thing?

Priapism is when the penis or clitoris remains erect for four or more hours with no physical or psychological stimulation.  This is not a good thing.  Believe it or not, priapism can lead to permanent erectile dysfunction, meaning that if it is not treated quickly, the damage caused may prevent you from ever attaining a natural erection again!

There are two types: High flow and low flow.  High flow is rather uncommon and involves a ruptured artery which caused the blood to flow into your penis.  It is like a garden hose where the pressure never relents.  Low flow is when the blood flows into the penis, but cannot get back out.

Causes:  Drug use both prescription and illegal, blood disease like sickle-cell anemia, blood clots, injury to the area, even poisonous venom from a scorpion or black widow spider.

Treatments:  Ice packs, pharmaceuticals and inserting a needle to remove the blood.  That does not sound like any fun at all!

So really, if you have an erection that lasts over four hours, get to the Emergency Room!  Do not risk it.  Cases of pripism with women are possible, but most uncommon.  This is basically a guy thing.

However, there is a major difference between priapism and being a Marathon Sled Dog like Dr Tim!

I am not bragging (OK, I am) but my record sack time was ten and a half hours.  Sure stopping for lunch and a shower made it more like ten hours, but I’m keeping the half.

It is not uncommon for men to be able to last an eternity in the sack, but it is also not always welcome.  If I had a nickel for every time a woman asked me, “Through yet?” I would easily have a dollar and a half today.  Guys, she may want you to last longer, but not all night!  She’s got other stuff to do besides you.  Saying that “We are going to do it all night long!” is a much different reality than actually doing it all night long.  There is chafing, body odors, stiff necks and all sorts of things that are not pretty.

Some of you are going to want to know how to last that long.  Here are a couple of secrets.  Masturbate.  A lot.  You will get so used to your hand with kung-fu grip that the clench of a normal vagina or rectum will not give you the stimulation you need to orgasm.  Not sure how that could be fun.  Another includes body modification, so I think I will not explain it.  Although this may have something to do with my personal longevity.  Which is a pretty interesting story.  We should discuss it someday during the afterglow.

Some guys can do it psychologically.  Train yourself not to orgasm because orgasm equals babies.  Still wear a condom though, pre-cum has sperm in it too.  Then when you get close, back off, give her some face until the feeling passes.  If I deny the first orgasm, I can go just shy of forever.  But make sure that your partner is a willing participant or it may end badly for you.  I had a woman break up with me because she claimed I was faking orgasm.  This woman would cry if she could not get me to cum quickly, so I started faking it.  Funny thing is, the time she accused me of faking it, I hadn’t.  So make sure to keep it real.

Now some of us are just not meant to be marathon men.  Don’t worry about it.  Dr Tim has an answer for you.  Use some of Doc Johnson’s Prolong Male Genital Desensitizer.  Just a dab under the head and you will increase your sack time.  And who knows?  Maybe after a while you won’t need it any more.

So how long is too long?

If you dick doesn’t go down after four hours and you haven’t been playing – run to the doctor.

If you are a marathon sled dog – it’s over when she says it’s over.  Make sure she is happy and just maybe she will stick around to finish you off.

Now MUSH!

Vibrator Addiction (R-R-R-R-R-Really?)

25 Mar 2011 Leave a comment

by Mystertim in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Safe Sex, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Vibrator Addiction.  Next on DrTim.  Stay tuned!

The question has been raised.  What are the pros and cons of using a vibrator and can you become addicted?

From bumblebees in a hollow piece of wood to today’s finest metal, plastic and motors, vibrators are a big, big seller.  There are many articles on the history of vibrators. You should look them up.  I’ll wait…

Now that you are either completely knowledgable or thoroughly confused, let’s take a look at the vibrator.  Why does it exist?  Isn’t a dildo or strap-on good enough?

While vibrators have been around for a long, long time, most people believe that they were invented to cure hysteria in women.  Yep.  Only women suffer from hysteria and the only cure is a good orgasm.  Except, back then, hysteria was an excitable condition and women didn’t have orgasms.  Well, the good ones didn’t.  And after all, who isn’t calmer after a good cum?

We’ve come a long way baby!  So, in my warped little mind, here is why they really invented the vibrator.  It has nothing to do with the failure of many men to help their partner achieve orgasm. (Well, maybe a little. See my post about the Amazing Clitoris. ( https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/10/15/the-amazing-clitoris/)

My belief is that it was either a well-intended lover who created it for their Lady or the Lonely Lady herself.  Dildos have existed much longer than vibrators.  Since the Dawn of Man, we have been looking for things to stick into our orifices.  Us and the bonobos.  We like it.  It feels good.  And we are all really sex-oriented creatures who if we could, would just eat, sleep and fuck like every other animal on the planet.  Blogging?  Who would have the time?

Back to the vibrator.  Dildos are great.  They are sweet, smooth rides that don’t pinch us or pull our hair during the act of masturbation.  However, they don’t move the same way.  I want to believe that the vibrator was invented as an attempt to replicate the heartbeat and quiver of your human lover.  We do not just insert and lie there. Well, the good ones don’t.  But just by being alive we transmit a hum, a frequency, a throbbing to let you know we are there and experiencing emotion.  A dildo is like a Honey Badger.  The Honey Badger don’t care!

But a vibrator!  Ah!  That hums, it vibrates, it has a throb that lets you know it is there and means to take care of business!  It can send your nerve endings into overdrive. Which brings us to Vibrator Addiction…

Does it exist?  I don’t know.  If you research and study long enough, you may find just as many arguments for vibrator addiction as against it.  As for me, I don’t happen to believe in many “ailments” of the modern human.  We seem to be, as a species, intent on discovering conditions in an attempt to cure whatever behavior we do not like in ourselves.  Why?  To make money and let the World know that it is Not Our Fault.

So why use a vibrator?

It is quick, clean, teases us just the right way and it doesn’t snore.  Seriously, vibrators massage our muscles to relieve the tension.  And a little clitoral stimulation is a good thing.  Some folks like to have a vibrator inserted deeply and feel the throb.  It’s all good.  You should buy one.  Or two.  Or twenty!  (Just make sure to look for Doc Johnson on the label!  If it’s from the Doc, it is as good as cock! TM)  Be sure to buy lube too!  I’ll tell you why:

Everything is better with a bit o’lube on it!  If you vibrate dry, penetration is difficult, and you may over-stimulate the nerve endings in your clitoris.  If you over-stimulate, the nerve endings will shut down and you might think that you broke your clit.  You didn’t.  You just gave it an owie.  Take some time to relax.  If you already had an orgasm, slip into a warm tub and soak.  And keep you fingers off it for a while.  It is the same with men.  If they jerk off without lube, the penis becomes a bit numb, delayed ejaculation, chafing and bleeding.  If this is the case.  Just stop touching it!

The lube will keep things slick and moving.  Can you become addicted to masturbation?  Um, I think we all are addicted to masturbation.  It feels good and releases endorphins.

Can you become addicted to vibrators.  Well, sure.  People can become addicted to anything if the set their minds to it.  (We like to use the word Fetish instead of addiction for fun things.)  I wouldn’t recommend using one every time though.  Mix it up, get a human partner, enjoy all of the sensations that life can give you.  However, if you can no longer orgasm without mechanical help or by masturbation, maybe you should talk to someone.  After all, humans were built as social creatures for there is strength in numbers.  But if you are happier that way, who am I to talk?  Be happy.  Sex is whatever you want it to be and as long as you are not damaging anyone physically, emotionally or mentally, have at it.

To sum up:

Pros: Fun, easy, endorphins, easy to hide, easy to clean, won’t hog the covers

Cons: Too much can numb the nerves, can’t hug you after a bad day, never cooks

So like I said, buy sixty or seventy and try them all.  But in my humble opinion, vibrators are the most fun if you use them together.

(Don’t be such a stranger!  Write to me!)

Why Use Lube? (Or Caution, Slippery When Wet!)

11 Mar 2011 Leave a comment

by Mystertim in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Preservatives, Psychology, Safe Sex, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Why on earth would anyone use a personal lubricant?  Don’t you know that “If it ain’t Spit, it ain’t Love?”

(Plug: Watch for Sasha’s Love Spit Lubricant from that amazing manufacturer Doc Johnson!)

So, other than paying Dr Tim’s salary, why would anyone use a personal lubricant?  And why are there different kinds?  What’s the dealio?

First off, paying my salary to keep me off the street is a fine and noble reason.  Imagine the trouble I would get into if I didn’t have a place to go during the day.  Now imagine the trouble I get into playing in my laboratory every day.  Now try not to imagine me “testing” all of my lubes and potions.  Yep.  Keep me off the street.  Society will thank you later.

But there are serious and fun reasons to use a personal lubricant as well.

To begin, some women have trouble lubricating naturally.  This could be from a physical or psychological problem.  If you are one of these women, there is no shame in visiting your physician to rectify the situation.  Life is rough with all that stress of daily living, the demands of children and significant others, working in this economy and the joys of menopause can really dry you up.  You are the main reason that personal lubricants were invented.  Everyone should have a fair chance to enjoy sex.  And without lubrication, sex is a rough road to travel.

Technically, personal lubricants were invented so that the doctor could use a speculum or other device in his office without requiring the ladies to become excited enough to self-lubricate.  Dang decent of them.  Now if only they wouldn’t keep those darn tools in the freezer before using them on us!  In fact, one of my favorite lubricant ingredients was designed for pre-lubricated enema tips.  The tips were lubed up and set in an oven, uncovered for over four months.  And they were usable afterwards!  Although I would hate to have been the one upon which they tested them.

And there are lots of fun reasons to use personal lubricants too!  They work great with dildos, vibrators, strap-ons and can be flavored so that your partner doesn’t only have good taste, they taste good too.  And since we are talking about fun uses, let’s talk briefly about the back door.

YES!  Dr Tim Talks Anal Sex Again!  (https://quantumcogitation.com/2010/05/ and https://quantumcogitation.com/2010/04/30/interesting-question-caution-naughtiness-ahead/)

The anus and anal canal is favorite place to play for many folks.  However, while the anal canal is technically a mucosal membrane it does not self-lubricate the way a healthy vagina does.  You need lube.  Especially for those strap-ons!  Word is, that if you use a warming lube, it will overload their senses hopefully sending them orgasmically out of control.  Be careful, you have been warned.

So why are there so many different types of personal lubricants?  Why are there so many types of shoes?  Different lubricants for different needs and tastes.  Let’s do a brief overview:

Oil-based Lubes:  Some people use baby oil, Crisco or massage oils for lubricant.  Nothing wrong with that.  But remember, oils will rapidly degrade latex, you know, condoms.  Weakened condoms equal broken condoms.  Broken condoms can equal pregnancy or disease.  Pregnancy or disease lead to more complicated lives.  Keep your head in the game people!  Oh yes, these can stain your linens and lingerie.

And Heaven Forbid if you ruin their latex clothing with oil.  That stuff is expensive!  Oil works, its inexpensive and probably everyone has one form or another in their home.  I do not want to know what happened to the olive oil in my kitchen when my son came to stay with me for a while.  (I know.)

Water-based Lubes: Everyone is probably familiar with KY Jelly, one of the best-know personal lubricants on the market.  Not everyone loves it, but hey, the trend had to start somewhere.  So, water-based lubes contain lots of water, a couple of slippery ingredients and preservatives.  Just about any product that is mostly water needs preservatives.  Now some people don’t like certain preservatives and some people don’t care.  You may notice that some of the global companies use preservatives that are out of vogue, but have worked safely for fifty years or more.  Really, this is up to you.  Read my posts about parabens if you like.  (https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/09/08/how-bout-them-parabens/, https://quantumcogitation.com/2009/11/19/parabens-part-ii/, https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/01/17/parabens-part-iii-more-info-still/)

There can also be nice things like flavor, aloe vera, chamomile extract and other fine skin care items.  Folks love these, but they can have a tendency to dry out (water, remember?) and have to be re-applied since your man is a marathon sled dog!  (Go get ’em stud!  You are a Stallion!)  Personal preference, you love them or hate them.  They tend to wash out easily.

Silicone Lubes: Now these bad boys are made from silicone and are different from the others.  Long-lasting, can work underwater and for my money, give the best ride.  Try Doc Johnson’s new iLube!    Drawbacks?  Well not all silicone is created equal and some are definitely better than others.  They could possibly stain your linens depending on the fabric and silicone is not inexpensive.  This is probably the most expensive type of lubricant.

Condom-Compatible?  Well, oil isn’t.  But water-based and silicone can be condom compatible.  But here is the catch: To claim that a lubricant is condom-compatible, it must be a registered medical device and have gone through rather extensive testing including the condom tests.  This takes time and a fair chunk of money.  If you aren’t sure if the company is telling you the truth, call their information number and ask for their 510 (k) number.  It is public information.  Or you can search for the company on the FDA website for medical devices.  But that can get complicated.  You techies out there shouldn’t have a problem though.

To make a long story short, (TOO LATE!) try out some different kinds of lubricants and see which one your prefer.  I prefer that you try all of Doc Johnson’s lubricants first!  Please!  Keep me off public access television!

As always: Write to me!  drtim@quantumcogitation.com

Valentine’s Day (or Get your Heart-On!)

14 Feb 2011 Leave a comment

by Mystertim in Anatomy, chemicals, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Seriously, how could I not do a special Valentine’s Day Post?  All the other bloggers are doing it!  (And if they all jumped off a bridge, well I would double-check my bungee cord!)

Sex.  Valentine’s Day is all about sex.  No, no!  Do not even try to deny it.  You come across with the goods and they just plain cum.

Chocolates for sex or sex for diamonds it is all the same.  (G-d bless the chocolates ladies!  The Boss pays me well, but not that well!)

So let’s talk about chocolate!  Eating chocolate can simulate those warm, gooey feelings of being in love.  How?  Well, chocolate has many different chemicals in it that can really help.  For example:  The chemicals in chocolate affect levels of the body’s mood-affecting chemicals, which include serotonin, endorphins, theobromine and phenylethylamine. Serotonin is a chemical messenger in the brain that affects emotions, behavior, and thought. Endorphines are chemicals in the brain that are responsible for positive moods. Theobromine is stimulant found in cocoa which gives chocolate mood elevating effects. Phenylethylamine is a naturally occurring neuroamine which has been shown to relieve depression, increase attention and promote energy. Your body releases phenylethylamine in response to romance.

WHEW!  Science on a holiday.  I am truly a madman.  Chocolate, dark chocolate especially, contains many essential vitamins and minerals for your body’s health.    Oh, and it appears that the antioxidants in dark chocolate can increase you “good” HDL cholesterol levels.  Try to keep it to two ounces a day though.

I know, everything to excess, moderation is for monks.  But monks tend to live quite a while and you wouldn’t want to miss out on the adventure would you?

Now some of you folks out there are wondering, is it OK to indulge in anal sex or breast copulation (Tit-fucking) on Valentine’s Day?  Sure it is!  After all, what other body parts are heart-shaped?  Turn that tushie upside down and there is a beautiful heat for you to penetrate with your Cupid’s arrow.  And when you cup her breasts, ta-daaa!  Another heart shape.  Just meant to be written on with your own special ink.  Just be sure to lend a warm washcloth or whatever help she desires to clean up.

So bring home the chocolates, the flowers, the panties, the jewelry and most importantly the Doc Johnson lubricants and toys.  (Remember? I work there.)  Show your Significant Other how much you love, how much you think and how much you desire to hold them, tease them and please them.  And just maybe, if you are sincere, you will get an extra helping of good loving in return.

Hopefully, today isn’t the only day you are scheduled to have sex.  My love knows no time or date.  Heck it doesn’t even own a calendar!  But if this is the one day when the two of you can let down your defences and joyfully give yourselves to each other, do not let any one spoil your day.  For today is all about Love, which coincidentally is the story about my life. 

My life is about Love.  What’s yours?

Female Ejacultaion (or Singing in the Rain!)

11 Feb 2011 1 Comment

by Mystertim in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Oral Sex, Physiology, Psychology, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Buckle up, this can get controversial!

Women cum too.

See?  Already I am hearing petty bickering.  You say, “Of course women cum too.  I’ve heard them moan.”  There is so much more to it than that.

Female Ejaculation.  Squirting.  Gushing.  Cumming.  It is an amazing thing to see in real life.  Sure there are some squirters in porn films, but many of those are faked.  Let’s talk about it.

For example, were you aware of the female prostate?  (It is often identified as Skene’s Glands.)  Although the term had disappeared for some 300 plus years, the first description showed up in 1672 by Renier De Graaf.  It was described as a collection of functional glands and ducts that surrounded the urethra.  Which produced a pale yellow or clear fluid which his opinon made women wet and horny.  Sounds like a useful thing to have around the bedroom!

To be honest, not much is known about how it works or why it even exists.  Modern Medicine just wasn’t interested.  But here is what we suspect: 1) it produces and stores prostatic fluid in the ducts which drain into the urethra.  (Prostatic fluid in made up of PSA, PSAP, PAP and fructose.)  2) It releases serotonin into the blood stream.

So, what is female ejaculate?  Is it pee?

No.  It is not urine.  It has PSA, PSAP, PAP, Creatine, Urea (which is not pee!), Glucose, Potassium, Sodium, Chloride.  (Wimpissinger, Florian, Stifter, Karl, Grin, Wolfgang & Stackl, Water: The Female Prostate Revisited: Perineal Ultrasound and Biochemical Studies of Female Ejaculate. Journal of Sexual Medicine 4 (5), 1388-1393.)

Safe to taste and drink!  Who said “Ewww!”  Hey, you want her to drink yours so step up to the bar buddy.  Sure it can taste different.  Many say it has no flavor but it varies from woman to woman.  Although it can be altered by diet, lifestyle and other options.  Just like you!  (https://quantumcogitation.com/2009/04/24/good-taste-really-lose-the-bleach/)

Can every woman ejaculate?

Well, can they?  Everything points to an answer of yes.  Have you ever been with a woman who after sex you discover that the blankets, sheets, mattress pad and mattress are wet?  Then you have been with a female ejaculator.  And I didn’t mind the extra laundry one bit!  Does she get up to pee once or several times during sex?  It could be that she is confusing the build-up of a mind-blowing wet orgasm with having to empty her bladder.

And this is where it gets tricky.  Through lessons from society she has learned to hold back at all costs.  Good girls don’t do that.  Do not have any biological function in public or where people can see/smell you.  You see, women get that.  They worry about odors much more than men do.  I actually embarrassed a co-worker once.  Her pheromones must have been working overtime because I asked her if she had just started her period.  She said that she hadn’t.  I recommended that she be prepared.  Her period started an hour later.  And she asked me if she had smelled bad.  Not at all.  She smelled delicious!

She may need your help or permission to ejaculate.  Let me say right now that female ejaculation does not have to shoot across the room.  It varies and can show up as a gusher, a flood, or a trickle lasting over one or more orgasms.  So how are we going to help her get there?

Ladies, pee before sex so you can be assured that it isn’t urine.  Gently caress her privates and gently with a finger or your official Doc Johnson Lucid Dream 14, start to massage her prostate gland (or G-spot if you are so inclined.  Controversy!)  Lend a tongue to her clit, nipples or wherever she wants it.  Let it build.  Be sure she knows how much you care and follow any directions she gives you explicitly.  Except for. “Oh, Oh, OH!  Stop!”  that is when you whisper, “Let it all go baby.”  And get ready.

If you don’t make it the first few times, so what?  You are there for her.  She will get there.  And you, my friend, had better be ready to be splashed and have an open willing mouth.  It is worth it.

And maybe when she recovers, it will be your turn!  Just don’t be afraid if she heads for your prostate during oral sex.

Give a little to get a little.  Give a lot to win her heart.

This Sucks! (Blow is just an expression…)

01 Feb 2011 Leave a comment

by Mystertim in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Medical, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Safe Sex, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

WARNING:  This post contains language which may be considered unsuitable to some.  (Even though you can hear worse on basic cable.)  Do not proceed if frank talk about sex and sexuality offend you.

Music time!  Grab your favorite skin flute or fuzzy harmonica and let’s get those lips, tongues and mouths moving.

Today’s double question comes from one of my most devoted fans.  She hails from the Midwest where people know how to entertain themselves when they get snowed in during the winter.  (And even though I have given her a toy or two, she has never sent me any videos…)

It reads, “Why do women have orgasms from oral stimulation faster than penetration?”  Followed by, “What is it about giving a blowjob that a man loves?  Isn’t penetration good enough?”

Where do we begin?  Why don’t we just “go down” to it and “muff-dive” right in?

Why do women have orgasm from oral stimulation faster than penetration?

To be honest, that is not true of all women.  I have even met a woman who refuses to let her lovers go down on her.  (That means: perform cunnilingus on her.)  However, there are many possible reasons.  First, her man may just not know how to fuck.  You have to get that special pelvic thrust to lift and stimulate the clitoris as you shake, bake and rock her world.  But then, what could be better than lying back on your sofa, cool breeze wafting by, a glass of your favorite beverage in your hand, with your other hand playing lazily in the hair of the lover kneeling between your spread legs giving you pleasure?

(Excuse me, I need a quick shower!)

The mouth is such a versatile  part of the body.  It can change shape, be sharp or soft, trace the alphabet with as much or as little moisture you desire.  The penis goes in and out.  It cannot tickle the clit as well or as easily as the tongue.  A cock cannot hum your favorite tune as it vibrates, flutters and dives deep.  The tongue can slide from the tip of the clit to the sweet spider and back without someone having to guide it.  And if you enjoy being tongue-fucked, then the nose becomes a natural clitoral stimulator! 

Oh the joys of giving and getting face!  And it gives the giver an incredible view while they are down there too.  Up to nipple-peaked hills or the rolling scenery of a beautiful tush.  And have you ever considered riding a dildo or vibrator while a tongue is in action at the same time?  WHOO!!!!

In college we had a couple of teams.  Guys had buttons that said, “I’d rather lick it than stick it.”  The ladies wore, “I’d rather suck it than fuck it.”  So you see, some people just prefer oral sex to genital/anal intercourse.  And there is nothing wrong with that!  The simple answer?  Oral sex is AWESOME!

Which leads me to my insight about men.  Straight or Gay, we all want our dicks sucked.

Why?  For all of the reasons listed above!  Vaginal/anal intercourse is amazing.  The burning hot juices of your lady (or the tight pulsing walls of the anus) scorching the skin of your penis just makes us crazy.  However, I have yet to meet a vagina that can swallow a penis and lick the balls at the same time.  Yes, men love to have their balls licked.  It is a feeling that I simply cannot describe adequately.  And the fact that you can play with our scrotum while you suck just puts us into system overload.  The many variations of manipulations feel so good.  No wonder why we are always playing with ourselves.

Analingus:  I feel that I should mention analingus, also called salad-tossing, kissing the barking spider or rimjobs, here.  Analingus is, of course, the licking, kissing, sucking of the anus.  This is a real turn-on for many and a major turn-off for others.  It can be an excellent pre-anal sex appetizer as well as a post-anal sex treat.  I know several folks that can climax just by receiving a good rimjob.  Personally, I feel that the entire body of your partner should be kissed and loved.  But I understand if you feel differently.

Please note: If taste is a problem, Doc Johnson (who pays me frequently) sells many products to alter your lover’s flavor.  Just a dab of Goodhead, Body Drops or Lick-Me-Licker will add a delightful burst of flavor to your tongue.  And for those adventurous types, look for Wendy William’s Salad-Tossing Spray.  One spritz and you will be begging for more.  Don’t be shy, buy and try them all!

Now someone mentioned to me that it is odd that a woman would ask why she orgasms more easily during oral sex but wonders why penetration is not enough for a man.  Lots of folks feel that way.  Sure it is great to give as good as you get, but if both parties are happy, who cares?  Lick and let lick I always say.  (Unless I don’t.)

After all, isn’t it better to give than receive?

See you all next time when we enter the magical world of female squirters!  Send your comments, questions, home-made videos to: drtim@quantumcogitation.com

Happy New Year! (And it looks great!)

05 Jan 2011 Leave a comment

by Mystertim in Anatomy, cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Safe Sex, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Here we are again.  Another year older and deeper in debt.  But, most of us are still working, are relatively healthy and get enough to eat.  Yay us!

I get comments from folks that my job must be a non-stop thrill-ride.  That I must have more fun on a Monday morning than most people do all weekend.  And they are mostly correct.  However, there is also great sacrifice and dedication that goes into my work.  Do you think I would give anyone a product to try that I haven’t used myself?

No, I wouldn’t.  And I wouldn’t expect anyone to try anything that hasn’t been tested on myself or one of my lab slaves.

Let me tell you about sacrifice.

There are a couple of major trade shows going on this week and weekend.  There will be toys, lubes, dvds, major porn performers and more!  But do you think these things just happen?  Heck to the NO!

I spent my New Year’s Eve weekend testing new products with a most wonderfully open-minded group of like individuals.  (Some of whom you have seen in films…)  There were women, men, trans, midgets, all colors, shapes and sizes, you name it, they were there.  We started Friday afternoon and continued on to Sunday Lunchtime.  And let me tell you, there was no toy, lube, position, combination or video left undone.  Nothing was left unprobed.  Some products passed with flying colors.  Some went to the recycle bin.  Most were used up and worn out.  Just like us.

The lubes had to reduce the friction co-efficient adequately to facilitate multiple rounds of penetration of varying depths and rates of acceleration.  Which means they had to be slippery as all get out, fast or slow and last long enough for everyone to be happy.  There were all types of products to lube, eat and drink for every occasion.  (Most of which are still Top Secret so I can’t tell you much yet!)

The Good Old Doc himself went into sensory overload more than once.  And I am pretty experienced so that should tell you something.  It was probably Monday afternoon before the buzzing in my ears stopped.  Oh the toys!  The colors, the colors!  Oh the humanity!  Thank goodness they finally untied me.

But we did it.  For you.  Because we care.  Your pleasure is our business and we aim to please.

So next time you think we have some of the best jobs in the world, think again.

We do…

Naughty, Nice? (Or Nicely Naughty?)

23 Dec 2010 1 Comment

by Mystertim in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Fashion, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Safe Sex, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I was out shopping the other day and Santa said to me, “What do want for Christmas?  Ho, ho, ho!”

I replied, “That will do nicely.”

Which brings me to the point.  Some folks think that you shouldn’t have sex around Christmas!  Can you believe that?

Let’s see if we can figure out why, so pull up your psychiatric armchairs and let’s go!

As children, we are told that masturbation is naughty.  Good boys and girls don’t do that.  The Bible commands us not to spill our seed on the ground.  (Which is fine by me since I have cashmere sweat socks.  Someday I will tell you their names.)  And so we become ashamed of our sexuality.  We hide it and keep our most precious identity hidden from the our family, friends and the world.  Our guilt grows with each stolen orgasm and we swear that we will never do it again.  Even though we know that we will.  And the guilt cycle continues.

We are also told that Santa does not bring presents to naughty children.  Well, that did it for me!  I was as pure as I possibly could be throughout December and my dirty laundry grew exponentially in January.  And I was ashamed.  Started doing my own laundry so Mom wouldn’t discover my secret and be disappointed in me.  Couldn’t bear even the thought of that.

But then I grew older, I went to college and began a journey, the stuff of which legends are made, into sexuality.  (Buy the films like everyone else.  They are out there on the internet somewhere.)  Turns out that sex can be even more fun is you have a partner or two!  But still, there was a certain hesitancy about sex in December.

Being a bright young lad, I appealed to reason.  “Look, there is four feet of snow outside. It is cold and we would be most warm and cozy if we both got into this pair of long underwear.”   Success was achieved.  I smile when I see long underwear ads and people wonder why. 

“But Baby, the wind chill is -70 F so you know your parents won’t be coming to your apartment.”  Success again.  Now you know why I love the cold.

“Don’t worry Darling, I will pick all of the pine needles out of your butt with my teeth.”  I really love the holidays!  The smell of a Christmas tree brings back so many memories.

“We will be the ony ones at the party with our clothes on.”  Have I mentioned how much I miss college?  This was back when the worst STD you could get would be cured by a dose or two of penicillin.  Those were the days.  Get in where you fit in!

“Your love is truly an amazing gift of which I am unworthy.  Please let me unwrap it and show you how I feel.”  Yeah, I didn’t feel so good about myself after that one, but I was young, hung and full of bull crap.

However, at my advanced age, the true meaning of Christmas sex becomes clear.  Unbridled, uninhibited sex brings two or more people to a state of pure being.  You are at your true identity during sex.  All masks, games, petty squabbles fall to the wayside and the one, two or more of you become a glowing bright blue spark of pure human essence.  Even if you are role playing, having angry sex, employing one or more of your official Doc Johnson sex toys there is an orgasmic moment when you are purely you.  And in my mind, that glow of humanity, stripped of pretense, is pleasing to G-d’s eye.  Holy and truthful we stand naked before Him, unashamed.

Man that’s a beautiful thing. 

It’s either that or if we don’t have sex, there will be fewer children and Santa will be way overstocked with toys.

Take your pick.  Have a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and the most awesome of New Years.

Medical Play (An MRI? Really?)

15 Dec 2010 1 Comment

by Mystertim in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Medical, Personal Lubricants, Safe Sex, Science, sexuality, Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

How many of you are into medical play?

Yes, I have played a doctor behind the woodshed and have used the phrase “Hellooo Nurse!” on way too many occasions.  But how about the use of sounds, Wartenburg wheels, TENS units, performed the Num-Num test and the like.  A good pair of stirrups goes a long way.

Check this out: http://bcove.me/qhiroajk

Yes, someone did a study of what coitus looks like in an MRI machine.  It is amazing.  Blew my mind.  The actual clip was assembled from all the pictures taken during the procedure and is in the last-minute of the clip.  Check it out.  I will never get those images out of my mind.

And let me know if you want to discuss the medical fetish.  No need for an appointment.  The Doctor will see you now.

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