29 Oct 2012
by Mystertim
in Anal Sex, chemicals, cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female Sexuality, Fetish, HIV, HIV/AIDS, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Safe Sex, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, dildo, Female Sexuality, fetish, Male Sexuality, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, sex toys, strap-on
Morning Troops!
It is a beautiful Monday morning out here in Southern California. I understand there may be a bit of rain Out East, but try to stay dry and warm now. You hear?
So many questions! I do believe that it is time to address a few of them and undress the askers.
Q1. Are sex toys actually useful or are they something to hide behind?
A. Sex toys are very useful. They can help folks expand their sexual repertoire, help them understand desires and assist them score some really great orgasms! Sex toys can help build the trust between couples and get single people through the night. Can you hide behind them? Well I’ve seen some pretty big toys, but none to hide behind! (By the way, Doc Johnson sells sex toys for all tastes, desires and needs. If you need a substitute cock, call the Doc!)
Q2. What about lubricants?
A. Deary, deary me! Lubricants are very helpful and fun! (remember, I make them, Doc Johnson sells them!) Lubricants help folks that want to add different flavors to their favorite partner, lubricate orifices that do not naturally lubricate themselves and are a must when inserting oversize objects or fists. I recommend that you always keep a bottle or two on hand for just such an emergency. When my son was younger, the wife and I would put it on the doorknob. Made it tough for him to turn…
Q3. Can you make semen taste like chocolate?
A. Working on it. If I do, my next blog will be sent from an as of yet undesignated island.
Q4. Do you always think about sex?
A. Well, yes. My job is thinking of ways to enhance your sexual experience. And then turn it into a real thing. Not everyone needs or wants these items, but they are incredibly important to others. Your satisfaction is my business.
Q5. WHich is better for a quickie, oral or anal sex?
A. Dr Tim does not do quickies. If you do not have a couple of hours to play, don’t start with me. However, oral sex is pretty darn good for a quickie. But then again, so is anal or even regular intercourse. There is no best or better. Only you and your partner know what will work for you. Whatever happened to a good old handie now and then?
Q6. Why are strap-ons so popular these days?
A. Beats me! I guess that more and more people are open to the pleasures derived from them. More men have discovered the pleasures of prostate massage and more women have discovered the joy of helping. Of course many same-sex couples use strap-ons as well. Is there anything a strap-on can’t do? Oh yeah, it cannot get you pregnant.
Q7. What about chemicals?
A. What about them?
Q8. Are the chemicals used in sex toys, lubricants and cosmetics bad for you?
A. From the top: Everything is a chemical. Water, air, fruit, flowers, everything. There are only so many elements that we know about in this world and they make up everything.
Q9. Phthalates or parabens ring a bell?
A. Yes. And although many phthalates have been banned around the world, science has not shown any danger from the most popular. They were banned by emotion, not science. Parabens also have a sixty year history of safe use, but they have been taken out of many products due to the public which would rather demand things than learn about them. You forgot to mention BPA. It is in every canned good you have ever purchased. Relax a little. Scientist do not want to poison, you, hurt you or kill you. If we did, who would buy our products? By the way, Doc Johnson does not use phthalates and parabens are being phased out.
Q10. How many licks does it take?
A. Ask Lil’ Kim.
Q11. You think you’re so smart! Why did you pick the Detroit Tigers in the World Series?
A. Shut up.
Well, we are out of time folks! Keep those cards, letters, emails and dirty pictures coming in!
08 Jun 2012
by Mystertim
in Couples Sexuality, Doc Johnson, Fashion, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Psychology, sex toys, sexuality
Tags: BDSM, Bondage, Couples sex talk, Female Sexuality, fetish, Male Sexuality, Psychology, sexuality
Let’s talk about Love.
Seriously. Love requires a great deal of Trust. And no where is Trust so needed as when we talk about bondage.
Ties That Bind
You see, if you do not trust your partner to tie you up, love is obviously lacking. Quite frankly, you become very vulnerable during bondage and you really do become subject to your partner’s whims. So, if you don’t love them or trust them, DO NOT LET THEM TIE YOU UP! I cannot emphasise that enough. However, if you are a ruthless thrill-seeker, I can’t help you. You will do what you want regardless of the consequences. Good luck!
For the rest of us, check out that cool new bondage line, Black Rose, from Doc Johnson! It is all black and purple and stuff. Beautiful. Sometimes I get so weary of black and red. Purple is a very sexy color to me. I mean, after all, when have you ever seen pastel bondage gear? That doesn’t mean that your bondage experience has to be all dark and brooding. Quite the opposite! Many bondage scenes are full of smiling and laughter. (Especially if you are into tickling!)
Besides, hemp rope leaves burn marks while chains leave nasty bruises. And some of us have to go to the PTA meeting tomorrow. Ribbons work very well for bondage and leave fewer marks. And don’t forget the blindfold or gag!
Where are you?
Blindfolds are very cool. Keeps them guessing as to where you are and what you are about to do to them. 
I can hear some of you now, ” That gag isn’t so bad. I could still talk!” I dare you to try it. Edgar Bergen or Jeff Dunham you ain’t. This is simple, effective and reduces your partner to whimpers, sighs and moaning. And we all like those, right?
Do you see how important Trust is now?
You cannot move, you cannot talk and you cannot see. You never know what is coming next.
That stings!
Now the cool thing about floggers is that they can caress the skin or thump the skin. It all depends on what your partner wishes you to experience. For an extra sting, tie a small knot in the end of each strand. For an evil sting, tie a small pebble or tack into the end of each strand. Oh, the sensations. Oh, the endorphins!
And speaking of sensations, some like to be clothed while bound and some prefer to be nude. If you prefer bound, we have a little something extra for you.
Vibrations move me…
Yep. Vibrating panties. Imagine wearing those while you are bound and helpless. The sensations never stop which may bring you to climax after climax and there is nothing you can do about it. Gracious, how you squirm!
So those are some fun things to play with during sex. We love playing. And experimenting. I know a couple that has been married for over fifty years who confided in me that while they no longer participate in any bondage games, that the experimentation brought them so much closer together. So I guess that means that bondage can actually help your relationship. That’s where you find out if you partner has your back and looks out for you or if they are only out for themselves.
I wonder if bondage exercises would be an important part of pre-marital counseling?
So live long, play hard and don’t be afraid to get dirty. At Doc Johnson we do not judge anyone’s sexual preferences. We want to provide everything you need for an exciting and fulfilling sex life.
18 May 2012
by Mystertim
in Anal Sex, Couples Sexuality, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Male, Male Sexuality, Men, Oral Sex, Psychology, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Vibrators, Women
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, Couples sex talk, dildo, emotion, fellatio, Female Sexuality, gay, Lesbian, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, vibrator, women
Do you know the difference between a Slut and a Bitch?
A Slut will sleep with anyone A Bitch will sleep with anyone but me!
Let’s talk about Sluts. I love them. Seems like these days, people are into slut shaming. You know the drill, someone is doing the Walk of Shame so you start whispering behind their back, making snarky comments on social networks, checking out their naughty blogs and then sneaking off to rub one out. (Go ahead! It is still National Masturbation Month!)
Jealous much?
Sluts are very special people and need to be treated with understanding and tender loving care. They cannot help themselves, they must share their joy with everyone who has need. Sex is joy And engaging in sex completes the circuit which brings the spirit if ever so briefly as close to Heaven/Nirvana/Valhalla/Fill in the Blank as one can be while still living.
They see sex differently than most. To a Slut, sex is an open expression of love. It is fun. It is something to be shared. And they share it with just about anyone who requests it properly. Depending on the circumstances, properly may be anything from “Stroll with me beneath the moonlight and mayhap we will make a communal offering to the Great Spirit.” to “Meet me behind the dumpster!”
There was a story of a young Dali lama who was asked to cast a woman out for being a slut. She was accused of seducing men, women and all living things. When the Dali lama arrived, he found everyone waiting in line. There was no fighting, pushing or trash talk. And when he walked up to the young lady he could see that her beauty and love outshone the sun. How could he cast out someone whose only crime was that she had been created with such beauty and generosity?
Something to think about people. Much of the evil in this world would not happen if everyone was getting laid. Sluts are the great equalizer. If everyone could be open and honest about their sexual feelings. They could be acted upon and a lot of tension would disappear. Anyone could be a slut, you could be male, female, trans, whatever. There is a Slut for everyone out there.
Oral sex sluts, anal sex sluts, gay sluts, lesbian sluts, sex toy sluts, why there is a whole world of sluttery (or should I say, sluttiosity) out there for you. By the way, don’t forget to pick up your Official Doc Johnson Lubes, Toys and Stuff. Even Sluts need a break now and then.
So what about Whores?
I love them too. Everyone needs to get paid. However, there is a good chance that a Whore has lost their way in drugs, or is being forced into prostitution or is so burned out that they no longer feel the joy. This is a tough old world. However, if more Sluts came out of their closet, fewer Whores would be necessary. In fact, Sluts can put Whores out of business!
But as I said, Sluts need understanding and love. Their hearts can be very tender and to misuse their gifts is what can change a sweet slut into a bitter person. Treat your Slut kindly. And if the Slut around, please understand, their gift is too great to keep to themselves. If they are taking care of your needs, let them fly free. They will come back.
Don’t shame the slut. Worship the Slut.
04 May 2012
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Dr Susan Block, Female, Female Sexuality, Male, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Safe Sex, sex toys, sexuality, Vibrators
Tags: Couples sex talk, dildo, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, Male Sexuality, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, sex toys, sexuality, vibrator
I’m back! What did I miss?
We have so little to cover and so much time to do it. Wait, scratch that. Reverse it. Moving on…
First – Dr Adam Ostrzenski, of the Institute of Gynocology in St Petersburg, Florida claims to have found the actual G-Spot! You may have heard about this on the news, but let’s look a bit closer, shall we? Whatever he found, it is causing huge waves in the medical and sexual health fields. Doctors are lining up on both sides of the debate. You see, one side says, “Hooray! Another clue to the mystery!” while the other proclaims, “The G-Spot is not real! Stop trying to make women into sexual robots who respond to physical impulses!”
Tough room. The doctor claims that not only is this very small cluster of grape-like pods in a sac the g-spot, but that it can rupture or weaken most likely during labor trauma. So it seems that having kids could really dent your sexual desire. Regardless, he only found this in one woman, 84 years old. As we do know, every woman is different. The g-spot may be large or small or even non-existent. The problem is that humans tend to get caught up in the whirlwind of “OMG, I Must Be Dysfunctional.” Not only that, it only measured 8.1 mm by 1.5-3.6 mm by 0.4 mm. Harder to find than the clitoris! (Which is not hard to find at all! See: https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/10/15/the-amazing-clitoris/)
So what are you going to do? This is where Synchronicity happens:
It is National Masturbation Month!!!!!
So let’s go exploring! Let’s break out our Official Doc Johnson Lubricant and Official Doc Johnson Toys and go spelunking. We have all sorts of toys and gizmos to reach everyplace you have thought of and several that you haven’t. If you need some masturbation tips, please refer to these wonderful columns:
https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/05/06/national-masturbation-month-part-1-im-not-jerking-you-around-here/
https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/05/27/airing-the-orchid-or-women-are-wankers-too/
Or check in with my Dear Friend Dr Suzy: http://bloggamy.com/masturbation-month-news/
But first some important news: There is nothing wrong with you if you cannot locate your G-Spot. Some women are much more sensitive than others and every woman is different. I would hate it if you were all the same. So take your time. Explore yourself alone or with a special friend. The goal is not finding the g-spot. The goal is your feeling good, having fun and feeling fulfilled. Each of you is special and I love you dearly for it. Relax, don’t worry. Masturbate yourself to bliss!
Other Breaking News:
A recent study shows that men think about Sex, Food and Sleep. In that order. Can you say “DUH!” How can I get paid to conduct these studies. (Point of difference: The study was done with college aged men between 18-25. I am a bit older and my order is Food, Drink, WOMAN, Sleep…)
Yet another study published in The American Journal of Medicine states that with many older women, sex gets better as they age. I am still not surprised. Older women know what works for them and how to achieve satisfaction. Like I mentioned earlier, it is all about your satisfaction. Satisfied women are happy women. Happy women (come in California) make happy men. Let’s do this people!
And finally: the FDA approves a new drug for the treatment of erectile dysfunction! Huzzah! Men suffering from ED need to masturbate too! It is called Stendra and should be taken 30 minutes before sexual activity. It is also a PDE5, so all the same warnings about nitrates, vision, hearing, etc, etc, etc.
Thanks for visiting! Now wash your hands and let’s go get something to eat!
14 Oct 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Safe Sex, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Transexual, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, boobs, clit, clitoris, cock, Couples sex talk, Cunnilingus, dick, dildo, emotion, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, gay, Lesbian, Male Sexuality, men, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, pussy, Science, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, Transexual, vibrator, women
“Sweetie, what are you thinking about right now?”
“Well Darling, there isn’t a game on so I am thinking about boobs.’ (Famous Last Words)
And I am, unless I am thinking about pussy or ass. Maybe about how good a blowjob would feel right now.
You are correct, Dear Readers, these are not appropriate answers when you get hit by “The Question” by your Significant Other.
In fact, this question is almost worse than the “We Need to Talk” statement. Not quite, but almost.
Now I know that all of you have well-rounded lives with great jobs, community work, charity work and being a pillar of your House of Worship whichever that may be. But guess what? We all think about boobs. Even women think about boobs! I am very pro-boob and I am not afraid to say it.
So where am I going with all of this? Everyone thinks about sex. It is in just about everyone’s top five list of obsessions. Or in my case the top two, I do love cheeseburgers.
Consider this, we all think about sex. A lot really. And that leads to uncomfortable situations. Who hasn’t been caught checking someone out? Male, female, straight, gay, lesbian, bi, trans, everyone has been busted. It could be boobs, a bulging package or the way that ass moves under that sheer sun dress. It could be a piece of jewelry or a particular shade of lipstick. Even a fragrance can take you there.
https://quantumcogitation.com/2009/12/11/always-sniffing-around-or-smell-my-fetish/
And it could take your thoughts to uninhibited states of fantasy activities. Strap-ons, anal sex, oral sex, threesome, moresome, orgies or your handy Official Doc Johnson devices and lubes. Oh, do buy lots of Official Doc Johnson toys and lubes. If it is better than Cock, it came from the Doc!
The brain is an amazing organ where your mind constructs new realities and worlds where the impossible can happen. I have this little dream where Eva Mendez comes over to bake chocolate chip cookies with me and…
That is when you get busted. Men are caught with a small smile and a growing chubby. Women stand up and everyone looks for the velcro they just heard. (Are you sitting in a puddle or are you just happy to see me?)
And most of the time, it is a fair cop. Now I just happen to have a great job where I not only to have to think about sex constantly, but I have to think about making it better or longer-lasting, or tastier. Yep. To use business-speak, I need to maximize your sensory experience during erotic interludes. In other words, Me make bouncy-bouncy more bouncy!
So yes, I think about sex a lot. Almost as much as a teenager with the exception that I know what I am doing. I hope. https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/10/15/the-amazing-clitoris/
Other times it is an unfortunate frustration. I was caught checking out a young college lady and was scolded for being a dirty old pervert. One, I am not dirty. I shower every day. Two, I am not that old. If it were true, I would have smiled and been about my business. When I am busted for silently perving, I admit it and ask how they busted me. Were they thinking the same things?
However that one time was different. The young lady in question was the daughter of an old girlfriend from college. She looked so much like her Mom did in college that it made me smile, remembering those happy days.
It isn’t always about sex. It just usually is…
So what’s on your naughty mind? Drop me a line and let me know! My email and twiiter are over there to the right somewhere.
10 Oct 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, chemicals, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Dr Susan Block, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Regulatory, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Transexual, Vibrators, Wendy Williams
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, chemicals, clit, clitoris, Couples sex talk, dildo, FDA, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, gay, Lesbian, Male Sexuality, men, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, Science, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, Transexual, vibrator, women
A post on Monday morning?
Inconceivable!
However, it has been brought to my attention that one or two of you were pulled away from your computer against your will Saturday night.
Well, you missed it. Dr Tim was on the air. A nice 30 minute interview with DerekD and Peter Dickem on “The DerekD SHow.” They are on this nifty website www.pleasureradio.fm.
So go ahead, visit the site, check out the program archives and hear what I had to say. I didn’t do much for world peace, but maybe you can get a piece from our conversation.
Big shout-out to: @pleasurefm @peterdickem @dirtyderekd @drsuzy @TsWendyWilliams
Follow them on Twitter, or if boredom is more your style, follow me on Twitter! The link is over there to the right somewhere.
Happy Monday Everyone!
16 Sep 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, chemicals, cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Fashion, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Medical, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Regulatory, Safe Sex, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Transexual, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, chemicals, clit, clitoris, Couples sex talk, dildo, emotion, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, gay, Lesbian, men, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, Science, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, sweet semen, Transexual, vibrator, women
Believe it or not, I took a vacation last week. No, really! I was not in my laboratory for nine days. Nine long, empty, meaningless days…
Actually I had a grand time. It was my first vacation in four years and my third in the last twelve years. It seems like I take a week off every four years or so.
So what did I do? Things that would make the Marquis de Sade jump up on a chair and go “Eeek!”
Well, I’m sure that someone would. I spent two days travelling. It was nice to see the green fields and blue skies of the Midwest again. You know, they have air that can be seen through almost all of the time. Then I came home to study.
Yes you read that correctly, I came home to study. I was buried in quantum theory, chemistry, mathematics and porn.
A person needs to stay sharp and up-to-date with the latest and greatest theories and inventions. Who wouldn’t want to unravel the theories of time and the universe while experiencing mind-blowing orgasms? Somehow I find that climaxing while learning brings me to an amazing brain-gasm. Nothing like a good cum to fix things in your brain. The universe seems to open itself up to me during sex. (Now you understand why I call my Lady Friends, “My World, My Universe.”)
Here you thought I ignored my studies to do a lot of screwing around! Nonsense. As serious students, we always recited our class notes during sex. In fact, that is the main reason people like the dirty talk in the bedroom. Have you ever said anything naughty that your partner forgot? Nope, they remember every last thing you said in bed and try to hold you to it. A lot of jewelry gets sold that way.
Did you know that two people can squeeze into an orgone box? They can! If you can have sex in an airplane bathroom, you can make it in an orgone box! Although that isn’t the point. One of these days I promise that I will write a blog about Wilhelm Reich. His work is fascinating.
Back to my vacation! Out of nine, I had seven days of Science, Sex and Ice Cream. Hmm, Seven of Nine does make me think about Science, Sex and Ice Cream, although not in that exact order.
However, serious study needs a serious study group. How fortunate that I know such a group who could really help me concentrate on my studies. Anything that could happen, did happen! There were tons of official Doc Johnson toys and lubes which everyone shared to their hearts’ content. There were strap-ons, oral sex, anal, sex, vaginal sex, armpit sex, straight, gay, trans, couples, singles and more! Best smorgasm-borg ever! We really got into some interesting experiments of spacial geometry and I do believe we defied the laws of physics and anatomy more than once. How many dimensions do we occupy during orgasm?
You would have to see the film to believe it! But until I star on a reality show, you will probably never have a chance to see it, unless someone posts clips on the internet. Don’t be a pirate! Buy your porn! Somehow the idea of sex tapes going viral seems wrong to me.
So what or who did you do on your summer vacation? Feel free to send me cards, letters, pictures or video! Even a postcard would be nice…
02 Sep 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, cosmetics, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Physiology, Psychology, Science, sexuality
Tags: cosmetics, emotion, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, men, Psychology, Science, sex, sexuality, women
Happy Friday Everyone!
I read an interesting paper (Gueguen, N. Jacob, C., Enhanced female attractiveness with use of cosmetics and male tipping behavior in restaurants, J. Cosmet. Sci., 62, 283-290) today that talks about how the use of makeup seems to increase the tips a waitress can collect.
Apparently they did a study that concludes that female waitresses that wear makeup vs. those that do not wear makeup tend to collect larger tips from male customers.
Can you say, “DUH!” I knew that you could.
But let’s take a quick look at the ramifications of the study. According to the study, this was conducted in a laboratory setting. That will upset some people since they believe that if it isn’t happening in the “real” world, that it doesn’t count. Well folks, guess what? Conducting a laboratory trail is the very first step in a field of study. Scientists that tend to rush right out into the public with an idea are usually labeled extremist or insane and often get a punch in the nose.
Next, the waitresses were instructed to act the same way whether wearing makeup or not. Again, any study that uses real people has a wild variable in it. Think of yourself or any woman you know. Do they act the same with or without makeup? Not too many that I know. So there is going to be some give and take on this facet.
During the series of experiments, the same waitress made more money when she wore makeup as opposed to the less she made when she didn’t. The only difference was the use of makeup. The service, food and actions were the same. What does that tell you?
Bottom line: Men tend to give more money to women that they find more desirable. Or attractive.
It may be sexist or it may be in our genes to provide for the most desirable mate. I can’t wait for further studies to be published.
And you thought we only stared at your boobs…
25 Aug 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Safe Sex, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, clit, clitoris, Couples sex talk, dildo, emotion, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, gay, Lesbian, Male Sexuality, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, Transexual, vibrator, women
Hot enough for you?
Hey! If you are going to throw things, either make them soft or made out of ice cream!
Back in the Midwest, when I was just a Baby Chemist, we had a saying in August. Now keep in mind in those days Dr Tim was a young, strong, wiry lad with fire in his soul and mischief in his eyes. I was working for the County in the Secondary Road Department. Yes, I’m the guy that held the stick on the survey crew. It was an afternoon when we were in the Shop to pick up some supplies when I first heard it.
“It’s too hot to fuck!”
Now that is really saying something! “You can fry an egg on the sidewalk.” “It’s hotter than Hell.” “So hot my shadow was looking for shade.” “That’ll melt your ice cream.” Statements that we hear, but don’t make much of an impact on us. But when a man or woman says, “It’s too hot to fuck.” Well! Can you seriously name anything that would prevent you from fucking if fucking was available? Me either.
Now it is belief on mine that Humans are nocturnal by nature. We were only forced to live in the sunlit world by the advent of the agricultural age. People aren’t supposed to be out in the sun! Sleep by day, hunt by night. That’s living! I thrive on moonlight and the sun is not my friend. And don’t even get me started on vampires! Cold lifeless sadness drinking blood to feel alive but for a night? Awful! Now werewolves, they have an abundance of life energy. Living in the moment, intimate with nature and in bed? WHEW! That’s life up at the sharp end.
Back to the heat. So if it is too hot to fuck, what are you going to do? Perform 68 with your partner? (68 – you blow me and I’ll owe you one.) Watch “Scrubs” reruns and masturbate to fantasies of Dr Kelso? Almost! You can have a slow, easy wanking session using your Official Doc Johnson toys! WHOO-HOO!!! You know you love it.
But if you need to be reminded, go here: https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/05/27/airing-the-orchid-or-women-are-wankers-too/ or here: https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/05/06/national-masturbation-month-part-1-im-not-jerking-you-around-here/
Seriously, Two hot sweaty bodies really screw up the bed. Especially if there is a power outage or your air conditioning doesn’t work. Grab the sofa, your Sasha Grey Love Spit Lube (seriously, it is awesome!) and your Doc Johnson dildos, vibrator, stroker or strap-ons. Lay back under the fan and tease yourself slowly. Think about something that really turns you on and let your hands wander.
Need a long, slow deep-dicking? Lube up that dildo, fasten that strap-on to a cushion or pillow and ride or slide at your sexiest pace. Men, do the same with your stroker. Use lots of lube, it feels cool and wet. Add the vibrator that will tickle your private places without doubling the sweat on the sheets. Ever sit on an ice pack while masturbating? Try it! You may just love it! You know, glass dildos can be kept in the freezer for just such an emergency as well.
Or, for my fans that are hardcore, slip a few ice cubes or a popsicle in your back door. Not only will it intensify your orgasm, but you will have the coldest experience since that one time with the snow bunnies outside the lodge at Big Bear during January! But careful, this technique is not for rookies. Hardcore only please. Beginners should work their way up to this by fucking over an open freezer or over a 50 # bag of ice wrapped in a towel. Ever do it in a wading pool full of ice water? It is GOOD, trust me.
So it’s August, it’s hot and your partner is a sweaty slob. Don’t let that stop you from having the orgasms you deserve! Use a little creativity and don’t forget to take the Doc along for the ride. Remember: If it’s as good as Cock, it must be from the Doc! If rubber pussy makes you want some, call on old Doc Johnson.
Didn’t quite rhyme, but you get the jism gist of it. Besides, where are you going to get a sex toy blog that has human evolution, werewolves, vampires and ice up the ass?
From Dr Tim, that’s who!
12 Aug 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, clit, clitoris, Couples sex talk, dildo, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, Male Sexuality, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Premature Ejaculation, Psychology, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, vibrator, women
An interesting question was posed to me this week.
Why are cuckold films so popular?
I have no idea. However, I do know a little bit about the Hot Wife/cuckold phenomenon.
Some of you have already gone to Wikipedia to look up “Cuckold,” so I will just give the brief alleged origin of the term. You see, there is this bird called the cuckoo. Besides living in clocks, the female will lay its eggs in another birds nest so that someone else raises the offspring. This is a similar deal. Hot Wife goes out and gets knocked up by a man other than her husband so that the husband ends up raising someone else’s kid. There is often denial of sex for the cuckolded husband.
How do these people’s minds work?
Lots of answers of which all or none of may be correct.
1. The stress of sexual relations is too much for the husband. He wants his wife to be happy so he gives her permission to get the sexual satisfaction she deserves. Very selfless and giving.
2. The husband feels inadequate and grudgingly gives consent for his wife to get what he cannot provide. i.e., multiple orgasms, a large cock, a “real” man, group sex, etc.
3. The husband is unaware that his wife is getting sexual satisfaction elsewhere.
4. The husband may just get his jollies watching and doesn’t care for real sex.
5. The husband may be into humiliation and lets his dominatrix wife do as she please to torment him.
6. The wife’s sex drive may be too big for him to accommodate.
7. The husband is bi and gets off being the beta male.
8. There may be blackmail involved.
Some folks will say this is not right, but if everyone is happy with the situation, who are we to comment? If they are unhappy, well hopefully they will find some help to change their circumstances.
We need to be careful not to confuse cuckolds with swingers. A cuckold may be a swinger, but not every swinger is a cuckold. In a swinging relationship, each partner has sex with however many people they desire. In a cuckold relationship, the Hot Wife gets to have sex with however many people they desire and the cuckold is either faithful or abstinent. Sometimes they add interracial play for more humiliation. (Side note: Dr Tim does not believe that having sex with someone from a different race would denigrate anything.)
And do not confuse a Hot Wife with a Slut Wife. Remember, the Hot Wife has a husband at home who gets no action from his lawfully wedded bride. Everyone gets the Slut Wife.
A friend of mine who practices this lifestyle tells me that it is the toughest thing in the world for him, but seeing his wife’s happiness makes it all worthwhile. For years, he told me, she would cuckold him by using toys. She had him go buy different dildos, vibrators, lubes and lotions. (All Doc Johnson products!) Then she made him watch as she pleasured herself. At first, she let him masturbate while watching. After a while that stopped. They purchased a strap-on and a male chastity device. His junk was locked up and she would use the strap-on to stretch his orifices. Eventually she started meeting other men and bringing them home to fuck so he could watch. And yes, he does clean up the cream pies. Currently he has been in that chastity device for over three years. They seem very much in love.
How does Dr Tim know so much about his friends’ sex lives? I get invited to either participate or hold the camcorder. (I love holding the camcorder!) In a way, I am a documentarian of sex in America. I just don’t own any of the footage.
So why are cuckold films becoming so popular? My best guess is that more and more people are finally becoming more secure in their sexuality. Men want to fuck other men’s wives and “conquer” their husbands. Some men want to watch their wives lose themselves in orgasm at another’s hands. Some men have little to no self-respect and are self-destructive. (Not nice to make the wives a party to that!) Some men are submissive and don’t want rights, they want duties.
Some women like having multiple partners, or humiliating/hurting their husbands, will do it to please him or any of a myriad of reasons. I also read a paper that explains that cuckolding is the first step in establishing a World Gynarchy. Subdue your husbands and take control kind of stuff. Scary.
If cuckolding is for you, go get it! Just remember to love yourself and others. If you guys truly love each other, there is no wrong way to express it.
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