01 Feb 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Medical, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Safe Sex, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons
Tags: anal sex, Analingus, Blowjob, clitoris, Couples sex talk, Cunnilinus, dildo, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, Male Sexuality, men, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Premature Ejaculation, Psychology, Rimjob, sex, sex toys, sexuality, sweet semen, women
WARNING: This post contains language which may be considered unsuitable to some. (Even though you can hear worse on basic cable.) Do not proceed if frank talk about sex and sexuality offend you.
Music time! Grab your favorite skin flute or fuzzy harmonica and let’s get those lips, tongues and mouths moving.
Today’s double question comes from one of my most devoted fans. She hails from the Midwest where people know how to entertain themselves when they get snowed in during the winter. (And even though I have given her a toy or two, she has never sent me any videos…)
It reads, “Why do women have orgasms from oral stimulation faster than penetration?” Followed by, “What is it about giving a blowjob that a man loves? Isn’t penetration good enough?”
Where do we begin? Why don’t we just “go down” to it and “muff-dive” right in?
Why do women have orgasm from oral stimulation faster than penetration?
To be honest, that is not true of all women. I have even met a woman who refuses to let her lovers go down on her. (That means: perform cunnilingus on her.) However, there are many possible reasons. First, her man may just not know how to fuck. You have to get that special pelvic thrust to lift and stimulate the clitoris as you shake, bake and rock her world. But then, what could be better than lying back on your sofa, cool breeze wafting by, a glass of your favorite beverage in your hand, with your other hand playing lazily in the hair of the lover kneeling between your spread legs giving you pleasure?
(Excuse me, I need a quick shower!)
The mouth is such a versatile part of the body. It can change shape, be sharp or soft, trace the alphabet with as much or as little moisture you desire. The penis goes in and out. It cannot tickle the clit as well or as easily as the tongue. A cock cannot hum your favorite tune as it vibrates, flutters and dives deep. The tongue can slide from the tip of the clit to the sweet spider and back without someone having to guide it. And if you enjoy being tongue-fucked, then the nose becomes a natural clitoral stimulator!
Oh the joys of giving and getting face! And it gives the giver an incredible view while they are down there too. Up to nipple-peaked hills or the rolling scenery of a beautiful tush. And have you ever considered riding a dildo or vibrator while a tongue is in action at the same time? WHOO!!!!
In college we had a couple of teams. Guys had buttons that said, “I’d rather lick it than stick it.” The ladies wore, “I’d rather suck it than fuck it.” So you see, some people just prefer oral sex to genital/anal intercourse. And there is nothing wrong with that! The simple answer? Oral sex is AWESOME!
Which leads me to my insight about men. Straight or Gay, we all want our dicks sucked.
Why? For all of the reasons listed above! Vaginal/anal intercourse is amazing. The burning hot juices of your lady (or the tight pulsing walls of the anus) scorching the skin of your penis just makes us crazy. However, I have yet to meet a vagina that can swallow a penis and lick the balls at the same time. Yes, men love to have their balls licked. It is a feeling that I simply cannot describe adequately. And the fact that you can play with our scrotum while you suck just puts us into system overload. The many variations of manipulations feel so good. No wonder why we are always playing with ourselves.
Analingus: I feel that I should mention analingus, also called salad-tossing, kissing the barking spider or rimjobs, here. Analingus is, of course, the licking, kissing, sucking of the anus. This is a real turn-on for many and a major turn-off for others. It can be an excellent pre-anal sex appetizer as well as a post-anal sex treat. I know several folks that can climax just by receiving a good rimjob. Personally, I feel that the entire body of your partner should be kissed and loved. But I understand if you feel differently.
Please note: If taste is a problem, Doc Johnson (who pays me frequently) sells many products to alter your lover’s flavor. Just a dab of Goodhead, Body Drops or Lick-Me-Licker will add a delightful burst of flavor to your tongue. And for those adventurous types, look for Wendy William’s Salad-Tossing Spray. One spritz and you will be begging for more. Don’t be shy, buy and try them all!
Now someone mentioned to me that it is odd that a woman would ask why she orgasms more easily during oral sex but wonders why penetration is not enough for a man. Lots of folks feel that way. Sure it is great to give as good as you get, but if both parties are happy, who cares? Lick and let lick I always say. (Unless I don’t.)
After all, isn’t it better to give than receive?
See you all next time when we enter the magical world of female squirters! Send your comments, questions, home-made videos to: drtim@quantumcogitation.com
05 Jan 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Safe Sex, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons
Tags: anal sex, clit, clitoris, Couples sex talk, dildo, emotion, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, Male Sexuality, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, Science, sex, sexuality, strap-on, sweet semen, vibrator, women
Here we are again. Another year older and deeper in debt. But, most of us are still working, are relatively healthy and get enough to eat. Yay us!
I get comments from folks that my job must be a non-stop thrill-ride. That I must have more fun on a Monday morning than most people do all weekend. And they are mostly correct. However, there is also great sacrifice and dedication that goes into my work. Do you think I would give anyone a product to try that I haven’t used myself?
No, I wouldn’t. And I wouldn’t expect anyone to try anything that hasn’t been tested on myself or one of my lab slaves.
Let me tell you about sacrifice.
There are a couple of major trade shows going on this week and weekend. There will be toys, lubes, dvds, major porn performers and more! But do you think these things just happen? Heck to the NO!
I spent my New Year’s Eve weekend testing new products with a most wonderfully open-minded group of like individuals. (Some of whom you have seen in films…) There were women, men, trans, midgets, all colors, shapes and sizes, you name it, they were there. We started Friday afternoon and continued on to Sunday Lunchtime. And let me tell you, there was no toy, lube, position, combination or video left undone. Nothing was left unprobed. Some products passed with flying colors. Some went to the recycle bin. Most were used up and worn out. Just like us.
The lubes had to reduce the friction co-efficient adequately to facilitate multiple rounds of penetration of varying depths and rates of acceleration. Which means they had to be slippery as all get out, fast or slow and last long enough for everyone to be happy. There were all types of products to lube, eat and drink for every occasion. (Most of which are still Top Secret so I can’t tell you much yet!)
The Good Old Doc himself went into sensory overload more than once. And I am pretty experienced so that should tell you something. It was probably Monday afternoon before the buzzing in my ears stopped. Oh the toys! The colors, the colors! Oh the humanity! Thank goodness they finally untied me.
But we did it. For you. Because we care. Your pleasure is our business and we aim to please.
So next time you think we have some of the best jobs in the world, think again.
We do…
30 Dec 2010
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Fashion, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Safe Sex, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons
Tags: anal sex, clit, clitoris, Couples sex talk, dildo, emotion, fellatio, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, Male Sexuality, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Premature Ejaculation, Psychology, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, sweet semen, vibrator, women
Good Old Dr Tim has come to your rescue and jotted down some ideas for 2011. Give them a shot…
Resolutions for the New Year:
1. Enjoy myself more.
How can I enjoy myself more? Well, as the old song says, “Masturbation can be fun!” Really, if you are single, partnered or married a little bit of self-love is a wonderful thing. After all, how can you direct your lover to your most sensitive erogenous zones if you don’t know where they are located? Let your hands roam your body, do it in front of the mirror, with your eyes closed however you like, but leave no inch of skin untouched. Discover what a light touch vs a heavy touch does for you. Ah, the things you will discover! While you are at it, get a nude full body massage. Personally, my favorite bits of a full body massage are my head and my feet. Who knew?
2. Enjoy others more.
Take the time to pay very close attention to your partner and loved ones. Just like you, there are probably things they would enjoy if they knew about them. Give them a slow sensuous massage and see where it leads. Pay attention to those out-of-the-way spots and build up the sensations. Tease, tease, tease, tease some more, then taste. Unbelievable! They go nuts!
3. Try new things.
Buy lots and lots of sex toys sold by Doc Johnson! Do it! (Remember? I work there. ‘Nuff said.) I have it on excellent authority that the Pocket Rocket is magic! (I use one too…)
Seriously, try new things. Share a book, video, sex toy catalog (hint, hint) with your lover. Talk openly and as honestly as possible about new adventures. Back door? Yours or hers? Check out my archives. There is an excellent article about strap-ons (https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/08/29/strap-it-on/), anal sex (https://quantumcogitation.com/2010/04/30/interesting-question-caution-naughtiness-ahead/), the clitoris (https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/10/15/the-amazing-clitoris/), premature ejaculation (https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/12/22/premature-ejaculation-what-too-soon/) and more!
4. Open yourself to love and forgiveness.
And start with yourself. Nobody is rougher on me than I am. My dear, dear friend Taylor opened my eyes though. Once I forgave myself for my shortcomings and began to like myself better, well everything changed. My eating habits got better, I slept better, I exercise more, weight is falling off of me too. That woman probably saved my life. Love you! So scoff if you like, but it really can help. And when you are open to love, you are open for business. A good positive vibe is very sexy and draws people into your circle. Several of them would probably love to sleep with you too! Saddle up!
5. Talk to someone.
It is a wonderful thing to be open up and express yourself without fear of recrimination. Freedom never tasted so good. You are not alone in your thoughts. Hopefully your partners can do this with you. If not, do you have a friend with whom you can discuss anything? A therapist? Or an unshockable group of warm caring folks? (Check out my Blogroll. One of the world’s best is there. I’m looking at you Dr. Suzy!)
6. Summing up.
To quote a fictional character from a book, when asked to explain the universe he said, “It’s a funny old world.”
So relax, open up, enjoy yourself more and you will see that you didn’t really have to change much at all. 2011 looks like it is going to be another wild ride. So buckle up, grab some condoms, sex toys from Doc Johnson and full speed ahead!
And if you don’t find your favorite fetish discussed or have a question, write to me! We can also go into greater detail about older posts. I’ll answer your question and will probably dedicate a post to it. My email address is: drtim@quantumcogitation.com
23 Dec 2010
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Fashion, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Safe Sex, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons
Tags: anal sex, clitoris, Couples sex talk, dildo, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, Male Sexuality, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, sexuality, strap-on, sweet semen, vibrator, women
I was out shopping the other day and Santa said to me, “What do want for Christmas? Ho, ho, ho!”
I replied, “That will do nicely.”
Which brings me to the point. Some folks think that you shouldn’t have sex around Christmas! Can you believe that?
Let’s see if we can figure out why, so pull up your psychiatric armchairs and let’s go!
As children, we are told that masturbation is naughty. Good boys and girls don’t do that. The Bible commands us not to spill our seed on the ground. (Which is fine by me since I have cashmere sweat socks. Someday I will tell you their names.) And so we become ashamed of our sexuality. We hide it and keep our most precious identity hidden from the our family, friends and the world. Our guilt grows with each stolen orgasm and we swear that we will never do it again. Even though we know that we will. And the guilt cycle continues.
We are also told that Santa does not bring presents to naughty children. Well, that did it for me! I was as pure as I possibly could be throughout December and my dirty laundry grew exponentially in January. And I was ashamed. Started doing my own laundry so Mom wouldn’t discover my secret and be disappointed in me. Couldn’t bear even the thought of that.
But then I grew older, I went to college and began a journey, the stuff of which legends are made, into sexuality. (Buy the films like everyone else. They are out there on the internet somewhere.) Turns out that sex can be even more fun is you have a partner or two! But still, there was a certain hesitancy about sex in December.
Being a bright young lad, I appealed to reason. “Look, there is four feet of snow outside. It is cold and we would be most warm and cozy if we both got into this pair of long underwear.” Success was achieved. I smile when I see long underwear ads and people wonder why.
“But Baby, the wind chill is -70 F so you know your parents won’t be coming to your apartment.” Success again. Now you know why I love the cold.
“Don’t worry Darling, I will pick all of the pine needles out of your butt with my teeth.” I really love the holidays! The smell of a Christmas tree brings back so many memories.
“We will be the ony ones at the party with our clothes on.” Have I mentioned how much I miss college? This was back when the worst STD you could get would be cured by a dose or two of penicillin. Those were the days. Get in where you fit in!
“Your love is truly an amazing gift of which I am unworthy. Please let me unwrap it and show you how I feel.” Yeah, I didn’t feel so good about myself after that one, but I was young, hung and full of bull crap.
However, at my advanced age, the true meaning of Christmas sex becomes clear. Unbridled, uninhibited sex brings two or more people to a state of pure being. You are at your true identity during sex. All masks, games, petty squabbles fall to the wayside and the one, two or more of you become a glowing bright blue spark of pure human essence. Even if you are role playing, having angry sex, employing one or more of your official Doc Johnson sex toys there is an orgasmic moment when you are purely you. And in my mind, that glow of humanity, stripped of pretense, is pleasing to G-d’s eye. Holy and truthful we stand naked before Him, unashamed.
Man that’s a beautiful thing.
It’s either that or if we don’t have sex, there will be fewer children and Santa will be way overstocked with toys.
Take your pick. Have a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and the most awesome of New Years.
10 Dec 2010
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Fashion, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Safe Sex, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons
Tags: anal sex, Attack of the Show, clitoris, cosmetics, Couples sex talk, dildo, emotion, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, G4, Male Sexuality, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, sex, sexuality, strap-on, vibrator
Today’s Early Morning Question: Dr Tim, what is your number one, mind-shattering, earth-moving major turn-on?
Since it was barely 6:30 this morning, my first response was, “Breakfast?” After all, isn’t that something a man yearns for every single day of his life?
My answer was deemed unsatisfactory. Imagine that. Now imagine Dr Tim imagining that. Now imagine Dr Tim imaging that while wearing a speedo and furry boa. (I’m in your head forever now…)
Turn-ons. The magic fetish that sends your libido into overdrive. Yes, a turn-on is considered a fetish. And although the word ‘fetish” has been co-opted by television and the movies to mean “hot babe in leather” it is a much more complex than that. (Do not stop sending me those pictures of hot babes in leather though. I’m writing a paper, yeah that’s it!) Even the media is beginning to loosen up. I was watching “Attack of the Show” recently and have been enjoying the WTF segment. They have shown America several interesting fetishes that may shock, amuse or bore you.
Lipstick fetish – the application of multiple layers of lip color. Sometimes garish, mostly elegant. This appears to be a more specific version of a make-up fetish stemming from young folks watch their Mother go through their make-up ritual every day. It truly is amazing to watch the transformation. The art, the precision, the glamour. Really, I could watch and watch unless we are late for our reservations.
Vacuum beds – where a person is put into a giant latex bag and all of the air is removed leaving the person immobilized and helpless. Now there is some hot sweaty fun. The two hosts took turns in the bag and their reactions were priceless. The fact that this was being performed by a hot babe in fetish gear did not hurt. It helped build the scene.
Ear Cleaning – this may have been a spoof, but how good does it feel to use that cotton-tipped stick in your ear? Uh-huh, thought so. I never thought about taking it further, but it looks like it works!
So a fetish can really be anything that gets you going. Shoes, stockings, army boots and kick to the nads, whatever. I have a lady friend that loves to clean house. It gets her warmed up and then she rides the vibration of the vacuum cleaner to climax. Hey, I don’t judge and my place gets a thorough cleaning to boot!
Whatever puts you in motion is fine. Just make sure that all the players are on board and nobody is made to do something they don’t want to do. (By force or guilt.) If your fetish concerns non-consenting partners, please get help. You may have some issues and that just isn’t healthy.
Oh, my major turn-on? I may be showing my age, but my biggest turn-on is intimacy. Yep, having that special someone who knows everything about you and sleeps with you anyway! It goes both ways and that is very exciting for me.
Have fun, play safe and keep those cards, letters, pictures and videos coming in!
02 Dec 2010
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Safe Sex, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons
Tags: anal sex, clitoris, Couples sex talk, dildo, emotion, fellatio, Female Sexuality, fetish, Male Sexuality, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, sex, sexuality, strap-on
Be good my little children
For Christmas time is near.
Listen closely for Old Santa
And his sleigh with eight reindeer.
And take caution older kidlets
Treat all with loving care.
For you will never realize
When an elf is standing there.
And as for me, you’ll find me
Underneath the mistletoe
Waiting for a rendezvous
With the Girls from Deveraux
Do not laugh or spite me
Or call me a so-and-so
Either know my heart is full of love
Or I’m just an old mofo…
05 Aug 2010
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Physiology, Psychology, Regulatory, Safe Sex, Safety, Science, sexuality, STD
Tags: AIDS, anal sex, Couples sex talk, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, HIV, Male Sexuality, orgasm, Psychology, safe sex, sexuality, STD, sweet semen
How’s your summer going? Haul any boxes of books lately? Make the evening news?
Mine has been pretty interesting. Bar-Be-Que, Barq’s and Babes! True summer living.
But even though these are those crazy, hazy, lazy days of summer, you had better watch out.
There was a report released by Harvard University claiming that men over 40 who use erectile dysfunction medications have triple the rate of sexually transmitted diseases as compared to men who did not use the drugs.
May I see a show of hands for those that are surprized by this result? Not too many of you, huh?
In fact, according to the CDC, the 40-49 year age range accounted for the largest proportion of newly diagnosed HIV/AIDS cases in 2007. Don’t believe me, go check it out. I’ll wait.
Welcome back. Sobering, isn’t it? Let’s pull up our psychiatric armchairs and see if we can’t figure out why this is so.
Older folks are from a different time, a different age, a different mindset. Last century, back when I was in college, the worst thing we could catch could be cured with a shot of penicillin. There were fewer taboos. And a LOT more risky sex than happens today. After all, tis better to fail a Wasserman test than never to have loved at all! The younger set may have more recent partners, but they actually tend to be safer than us old fogeys.
Even old Dr Tim isn’t sure if he has any condoms at home. I’ll admit it, I hate condoms. I hate wearing them, I hate the feel or lack thereof of them, I hate the taste they leave behind. There isn’t much I like about them at all! Except maybe the saving my life part. I grew up with skin on skin and that my friend is a hard habit to break. Even though I get a full STD workup every other month, I should still wear them. And I do, if she insists. But it shouldn’t have to be that way. Even though women do ask to see my test results before we proceed to Happy Land, using condoms should be an SOP. (Standard Operating Procedure)
What about choice? You may ask. What about condoms in adult entertainment films?
So choose, Death or Cake. (Pie really.) And as for adult entertainers, they are making a risky choice, but I defend their right to make it. I consider adult film performers as stunt people. They make risky decisions on how to use their bodies for the gratification of others. I respect that. Quite a few of those performers are my close personal friends and I would hate to see them be debilitated by some gruesome disease. But I am not about to tell them how to do their job. And I don’t think anyone else should either. Those that try should probably try to get their own houses in order first. However that is just my opinion.
And now that men suffering from ED can get help, they are picking up where they left off thirty years ago. The game has changed since then and they havn’t read the new playbook. Everyone needs to be reminded about the joys of safe sex. No matter how old they are. Anyone watch Penn & Teller’s show Bullsh*t about old people? They still have sex. The back alley slut is now the nursing home slut who thanks to modern medicine can get her favorite treat!
Teach your parents well. And your grandparents. Anyone can die from HIV/AIDS and I’d rather it wasn’t you.
30 Apr 2010
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, chemicals, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Uncategorized
Tags: anal sex, Couples sex talk, dildo, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, Male Sexuality, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, prostate, Psychology, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, vagina, vibrator
“So Tim, is this too big for someone to get up their butt?”
What an interesting question to start my day. So let’s get ahead by getting a little behind…
Anal sex. Now that is one hotly contested topic. You may remember that I briefly mentioned backdoor activities last month. (https://quantumcogitation.com/2010/03/12/doors-what-is-behind-door-number-three/)
Or you may remember my brief discourse about men on the receiving end of a strap-on. (https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/08/29/strap-it-on/)
Good memories, good times. So let’s roll up our sleeves and really get into it now. If this topic bothers you, here is something to keep you occupied.
Look deeply into my eyes.
For the rest of us, let’s take a close look at the anus, rectum and points north. Here is a brief, unromantic diagram of said region.
To accomplish anal intercourse, we have to get past the exterior sphincter, through the anus, past the interior sphincter, through the anal canal, getting past the Dentate line and into the rectum! Whew! Anyone have a GPS ready? OK, I know that everyone knows, or thinks they know what they are doing. But honestly, a lot of you don’t. (If I had a nickel for every woman nodding her head right now…)
The anus has quite a concentration of nerve endings and that can bring either great pain or great joy depending on your approach. The anterior wall of the rectum leads to prostate massage in men and tickles the vaginal canal in women. While the external sphincter is a voluntary muscle which we can contract or relax, the interior sphincter muscle is involuntary. That means you really cannot control it. So we need to spend some time on figuring out how to make it relax. And as always, we have options:
1) Brute force, just ram it home. DO NOT DO THIS!!!! Who are you kidding? That only plays in story books. To force the anal sphincter complex open can cause a lot of damage. It can cause tearing, bleeding, damage to the sphincters leaving you incontinent, if misguided potentially perforate the intestinal walls. Which could lead a nasty little thing called death. Let’s not go there, let’s keep this safe, sane and consensual (SSC).
2) Get them drunk! Oh come on people! DON”T DO THIS!!! If one or the other partner is impaired by one substance or another, you can have the same injuries listed in item number one. Either they won’t feel if something has gone wrong or you may not be attentive to their situation. Either way, bad.
While there is nothing wrong with a glass of wine or a drink or two, stay alert if you are going to participate in risky types of sexual behaviour. It needs to be fun, not traumatic. No need to call those men in white jackets even if ambulance sirens turn you on. They really aren’t interested in what you were doing anyway.
3) Anal desensitizers. Yep, they exist. Heck we even sell them! Usually they are a gel, cream or spray that contains lidocaine or benzocaine. These are often used in anorectal drugs to ease the pain of hemorrhoids. Now, these work very well, but they are not my first choice. If over-used, you may not feel any “bad” pain if it occurs. And I have always wondered, why engage in anal sex if you don’t want to feel it? So…
4) Warming lubes. Yes, we sell those too! Remember what it feels like when you get a hot oil massage? You melt under that person’s hands. Well, this is very similar. Gentle caressing with the product warming your anus and your partner’s attention warming your heart. You will probably open up like a blooming rose. Hard, nasty anal sex is great if you are experienced and in the mood, but if you are just beginning your anal explorations, you need a lot of prep time, care and gentleness.
OK, lubricants. Yes the anal tract is a mucosal membrane so there is a certain degree of lubrication available naturally. But you should add some more. Lots more! So much so that you need a new bottle every time! (Did I mention that my company sells lubricants? Thought so. Daddy needs to get paid!)
Seriously, use lots. I prefer silicone lubes, but whatever floats your boat. Anyone remember how Crisco sales jumped when fisting became all the rage?
5) Oh yeah, rimming helps. We can talk about that in a later post.
So we are in! Now with the anal canal and rectum, you have a comfortable six inches for penetration. Stroke away to your heart’s content. And hopefully to your partner’s orgasm! Here are a couple of diagrams to show you where to find the anus on a male or female.
Now that we have covered that, how large of an item can you stick your butt? From some videos that I have seen, really, really big! I have seen baseball bats, arms up to the shoulder (not recommended), champagne bottles, fruit/vegetables of all kinds and a football. I guess the real question is not how large of an item can I stick up my butt, but do I want to spend my life wearing diapers? Yes, extreme anal stretching can lead to having an orifice that can no longer close or even prolapse. Prolapse is when the insides come outside.
If you keep your anal insertions limited to finger/penis/hand size, you can keep your stuff tight with kegel exercises. Yes they work for the ass as well as the vagina! Squeeze those muscles tight, count to ten, release and repeat. A few sets of ten daily and you will be able to peel a banana! Even though if you have anal sex even once, your doctor will know the next time he takes a look down there. So, really, there are no secrets from your doctor.
I talk too much, but when it comes to anal sex, the two or more of you had better talk everything out so you know what is going to happen. And please, wash thoroughly, douche your tush, wash whatever was inserted up the butt before inserting it somewhere else and please do not engage in ATM or ATV activities.
Leave that to the pros.
12 Mar 2010
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, sex toys, Strap-ons
Tags: bisexual, closet, Female Sexuality, fetish, gay, Jim Morrison, lifestyle, Male Sexuality, Psychology, sexuality, stimulation, The Doors, trans, tush
Doors.
Why doors? I am sitting at my desk on a Friday afternoon and have been watching the crew install a new door on my lab. They tore out the old swollen door, reamed out the opening and are installing a brand new, high-security door. And they keep singing the Mickey Mouse theme song. If only this were Wednesday, then anything could happen!
So what do doors have to do with sex and sexuality?
Well, thanks to Jim Morrison, my college escapades were legendary! Some day I will write a book that scandalizes future generations. But those weren’t The Doors I was going to discuss. Doors are like smiles. There are doors that make you happy, there are doors that make you blue. Ponder that for a moment. Doors go both ways. Which doors are you happy to open? Your bedroom door? Her/His/Their door?
What about the door to your favorite restaurant or your favorite porn shop? (Excuse me, Lifestyle Sexuality Empowerment Facility, where you can find many instruments of self-exploration and joy by Doc Johnson!) Is it the door or what is behind it? Or the moment of “What if?” as you reach for the knob?
My vote is for the “What if?” moment. And that my friend is a totally different kind of door. It is the one you constructed in your mind. The part that excites you because you think you know what is on the other side, but you don’t know how the experience will go down.
As I mentioned, doors go both ways. They let things out or they can keep things in. The Dark Side of the Door. All of us have something locked away in our mental closet that brings us pain. Or prevents us from ever really enjoying our life. Simple choice, hard decision. Some things should remain locked away. Acknowledged, but firmly behind bars.
But if it SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual) rip that door off its hinges! If you are gay, be gay. If you are straight, be straight. If you are trans, make the move. If you are bisexual, you just doubled your chance for a date this weekend! (Apologies to Woody Allen.)
Me? Well, I’m a tush guy. As attributed to Burt Reynolds, “If what’s behind don’t catch my eye, what’s up front don’t affect my fly.” There’s other stuff, sure. But that is between my partners and me. Applications are cheerfully accepted.
So live a little, be nice to yourself and play safe. We’ll talk more later.
(And to those of you who were expecting a post about backdoor/anal sex, maybe on Wednesday…)
11 Dec 2009
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Physiology, Psychology, Science, sexuality
Tags: fetish, fragrance, leather, Psychology, scent memory, sense memory, sex, Weizmann Institute
Scent memory. Ever heard of it?
Well, if you are an actor, you are probably familiar with sense memory. That is where you tap into your inner self and pull up a special memory to recreate how you felt. And scene…
Scent memory is a part of that and so much more. In fact, the sense of smell is very important to sex. Possibly the second most important facet! And yes, I do believe it ties into fetishes as well.
There is a new study from the Weizmann Institute of Science led by graduate student Yaara Yeshurun. The research appeared in: Current Biology, DOI: 10.1016/j.cub.2009.09.066. It states, basically, that the first association with a smell gets etched into the memory. And based on follow-up experiments, that association cannot seem to be erased. In fact, it seems to become a mental reference point.
I feel that it may be deeper than that and associations could change, the brain can be re-programmed, but additional stimuli would be needed to accomplish it. Let me over-simplify…
For example, if you came from a home where Italian food was prevalent, you may associate the scent of lasagna with whatever your home atmosphere was, either warm and fuzzy or cold and argumentative. However, if your partner played footsie with you to completion under the table at an Italian restaurant, you may now forever associate the scent of lasagna with foot-assisted orgasm.
This is where I feel fetish and smell meet. Leather folks seem to really, really love the smell of leather. Is that due to the amazing sex? Did their first sexual experience have them bent over a saddle? Maybe the back seat of a ’65 Mustang? Who knows? But the scent of leather takes them to a special place.
So if your significant other wears makeup, when you kiss them does it intensify the feelings and lead to arousal? Perhaps the scent of the makeup takes you back to that first encounter when the smell of her makeup and the taste of her lipstick are so fresh you can still experience them? Maybe your first encounter was in the woods, or in a rest stop bathroom, or an adult bookstore. All of those places have certain scents that would arouse excitement in you. I have a friend that can’t perform unless he smells lavender since his first series of encounters took place in the home of his girlfriend’s grandmother.
Another study found that a scent that sparked arousal in virtually all of the men they tested was the smell of fresh-baked cinnamon rolls. Go figure. They make my mouth water, maybe my stomach will growl, but that is about it for me. Have hot chocolate brewing when your lady friend comes over and see where that leads. Maybe a hint of peppermint will turn up the heat. Does apple pie fresh from the oven put a sparkle in your eye? Cinnamon is apparently very sexy!
What scents do you use around the house or on your body. Why did you choose those particular fragrances? Learning about your fragrance preferences will tell someone a lot about you. And they do! A savvy partner can learn more about you by observing your home than by talking to you. If you paid attention, you would know yourself well-enough to drop most of your insecurities.
Are you aware that behavior is influenced by aroma? Stores, schools, prisons and workplaces have experimented with scent as a means to motivate, pacify, urge and focus. You may have not noticed the scent, but it was there. It is a very sneaky world. If your partner needs a special favor from you, do they cook your favorite meal or wear that special perfume? Yep. Thought so.
Women understand the power of fragrance. Do you?
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