16 Mar 2012
by Mystertim
in Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex
Tags: Blowjob, fellatio, fetish, orgasm, sex, sexuality, sweet semen
With all the holidays happening, my head is spinning!
However, right now we are between two very important holidays, SBJ Day and St Patrick’s Day.
What’s SBJ Day? Well, it is one of the most important dates in history. Many holidays revolve around women. Particularly, Valentine’s Day.
Valentine’s Day is all about the ladies. We woo them with chocolate, flowers, dinners, dancing, Broadway shows and most importantly, jewelry! Men give consideration for their significant others’ feelings and try to listen after they say, “Sounds like you had a rough day. Want to talk about it?”
As such, men finally decided that they need a holiday of their own. One which speaks to their inner self and needs. A day that, if all goes according to plan, leaves them happy, fulfilled and ever so appreciative of their partners.
Yes, March 14th is designated as “Steak and Blow Job Day.” See, men are just not as complicated as women. Feed us a steak, suck our dick, swallow some seed and we are yours for life. (OK, there are some guys who qualify as “Playas” but we do not count them as men.)
I’m not about to tell those of you not on the receiving end of Steak and BJ Day how to grill a steak. Put it on, turn it over, take it off. Add BBQ sauce to taste. (Hope you remembered to marinate the steak!)
But Blow Jobs. Ladies, we need to talk. How do you give a great blow job? 90% of the act is the attitude. If you obviously are not enjoying it, we are not enjoying it either. So if you do not like sucking cock, we are going to have a problem. Now some men do not care. I have never met these men. It seems that whether you are straight or gay, you want your dick sucked.
So do I. And here is how you win Dr Tim’s undying love and affection:
1. Have fun with it! Make it game, put a little captain hat on him and tell him to prepare for a tropical storm. How many licks does it take?
2. Use your tongue. There is no such thing as too much tongue. Broad flat strokes, pointed scroll work, make that hurricane tongue swirl around and around the head.
3. Actually move your head. Believe it or not, some folks think a blow job consists of putting the head in their mouth and waiting. This does not work. Slide your lips up and down the shaft. Move it from side to side. We need some motion in the ocean.
4. Please do not forget to lick our balls. We hate having dry balls and only you can save us. Pop those balls in and out of your mouth. Chase them around with your tongue. Take them both in your mouth and pull. Balls are fun. Do not be afraid of them.
5. Some may disagree with me on this one, but using your hands is not cheating! Play with my balls, tickle my taint, stroke the shaft in a twisting grip while your tongue circles the opposite way around the head. Even nipple pinching is fair game. If my cock is in your mouth, just about anything goes.
6. Except teeth. We do not like razors being run up and down out cocks. Either cover them with your lips or open your mouth wider and let your lips create a suction seal.
7. Swallow. For me, nothing makes me feel loved in bed more than someone swallowing my semen. If you are a bit squeamish, see this article: https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/06/16/to-completion-or-spitters-are-quitters/ If you still do not want to swallow, would you please let me shoot my load on your breasts? Cum-covered boobs are very attractive and won’t mess up your hair.
8. Rimming is optional.
Basically, that’s it. Not so difficult really. Of course there are thousands of permutations and combinations that you can do to surprise your loved ones. And if your man wants to know where you learned how to do what you just did, do not mention my name! I still have to hide from a husband who, when he and his wife were testing a new butt lube, heard his wife whisper, “Thanks Tim!”
Oh St Patrick’s Day. I colored my privates green. Anyone want to kiss my Blarney Stones?
20 Oct 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Doc Johnson, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Psychology, sex toys, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Psychology, sex, sex toys, sexuality, vibrator, women
Perhaps a few of you remember the sexy blonde with major boobage I mentioned earlier this year. If you don’t, for shame. Re-read about her here: https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/04/15/erotic-spitting-or-how-is-it-raining-in-the-bedroom/
We were having a great conversation about new concepts in sexual health and wellness when out of the blue she asked, “How do you fall asleep on those nights when the world keeps you awake?”
She caught me at a weak moment. Couldn’t help but tell her the plain unvarnished truth. You should have seen her eyes light up. How could I resist? I mean, her boobs got in my eyes and everything! Someday we will have to discuss this reoccurring dream I have about her.
But before we get into how Dr Tim relaxes on nights when he is carrying all of the world’s problems on his shoulders, let’s look at our souls.
Yes, it is about to get all metaphysical up in here! What makes us “us?” Who are you and how did you get that way?
Beats the heck out of me. I am not even sure where is soul is located. From all of my studies, it is believed to be located everywhere from the third eye to the brown eye. Some even believe that the soul is in the blood. I’ve had my cholesterol checked, but never has my doctor asked for a soul level. Only Brothers and Sisters have ever gauged my Soul Level. Solid!
The soul apparently is everything from your conscience to your mind to your very life force. So we do not know where it is or even what it is, but we know that we have one. Or some depending on your point of view. Perhaps some of us do not even have one. Maybe only so many souls were created and we have out-populated the number available. There are thousands of people walking around without one. Why are there so many more heartless criminals that stare at you with empty eyes? They have no soul to care. And those of us with souls are there to feel the pain and lie awake night after night.
How do I sleep? Usually on my side. I’ll cuddle you so hard and then spoon the hell out of you!
Seriously though, on those nights that stretch out forever while being boycotted by the Sandman, I turn to Doc Johnson! And you should too!
I don’t know if my soul is in my asshole, but I do know that is a major tension center. Ever hear the phrase, “That tight-ass Mofo needs to relax!”
Tension Relief!
Here is my secret: I know they call it a clit stick, but I take that little beauty, turn it on and sandwich it between my cheeks with the tip just touching my asshole. The tension just seems to drain away and I am sound asleep within 5-10 minutes. Why? I don’t know. Maybe it massages my soul or simply helps me to relax. Regardless of why, the sleep of the innocent lasts all night long. I do have to replace the batteries fairly often since I do not wake up turn it off. It is also kind of fun to figure out where it went during the night too. Does that make me gay? No. It makes me secure. Read about men and anal play here: https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/08/29/strap-it-on/
I’ll need it tonight however, all I can think about is sexy blonde with major boobage using a vibrator on her asshole. She waxes. Everything. E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g!
There may be some serious weasel-whipping going on tonight as well. Cold shower anyone?
14 Oct 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Safe Sex, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Transexual, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, boobs, clit, clitoris, cock, Couples sex talk, Cunnilingus, dick, dildo, emotion, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, gay, Lesbian, Male Sexuality, men, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, pussy, Science, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, Transexual, vibrator, women
“Sweetie, what are you thinking about right now?”
“Well Darling, there isn’t a game on so I am thinking about boobs.’ (Famous Last Words)
And I am, unless I am thinking about pussy or ass. Maybe about how good a blowjob would feel right now.
You are correct, Dear Readers, these are not appropriate answers when you get hit by “The Question” by your Significant Other.
In fact, this question is almost worse than the “We Need to Talk” statement. Not quite, but almost.
Now I know that all of you have well-rounded lives with great jobs, community work, charity work and being a pillar of your House of Worship whichever that may be. But guess what? We all think about boobs. Even women think about boobs! I am very pro-boob and I am not afraid to say it.
So where am I going with all of this? Everyone thinks about sex. It is in just about everyone’s top five list of obsessions. Or in my case the top two, I do love cheeseburgers.
Consider this, we all think about sex. A lot really. And that leads to uncomfortable situations. Who hasn’t been caught checking someone out? Male, female, straight, gay, lesbian, bi, trans, everyone has been busted. It could be boobs, a bulging package or the way that ass moves under that sheer sun dress. It could be a piece of jewelry or a particular shade of lipstick. Even a fragrance can take you there.
https://quantumcogitation.com/2009/12/11/always-sniffing-around-or-smell-my-fetish/
And it could take your thoughts to uninhibited states of fantasy activities. Strap-ons, anal sex, oral sex, threesome, moresome, orgies or your handy Official Doc Johnson devices and lubes. Oh, do buy lots of Official Doc Johnson toys and lubes. If it is better than Cock, it came from the Doc!
The brain is an amazing organ where your mind constructs new realities and worlds where the impossible can happen. I have this little dream where Eva Mendez comes over to bake chocolate chip cookies with me and…
That is when you get busted. Men are caught with a small smile and a growing chubby. Women stand up and everyone looks for the velcro they just heard. (Are you sitting in a puddle or are you just happy to see me?)
And most of the time, it is a fair cop. Now I just happen to have a great job where I not only to have to think about sex constantly, but I have to think about making it better or longer-lasting, or tastier. Yep. To use business-speak, I need to maximize your sensory experience during erotic interludes. In other words, Me make bouncy-bouncy more bouncy!
So yes, I think about sex a lot. Almost as much as a teenager with the exception that I know what I am doing. I hope. https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/10/15/the-amazing-clitoris/
Other times it is an unfortunate frustration. I was caught checking out a young college lady and was scolded for being a dirty old pervert. One, I am not dirty. I shower every day. Two, I am not that old. If it were true, I would have smiled and been about my business. When I am busted for silently perving, I admit it and ask how they busted me. Were they thinking the same things?
However that one time was different. The young lady in question was the daughter of an old girlfriend from college. She looked so much like her Mom did in college that it made me smile, remembering those happy days.
It isn’t always about sex. It just usually is…
So what’s on your naughty mind? Drop me a line and let me know! My email and twiiter are over there to the right somewhere.
10 Oct 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, chemicals, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Dr Susan Block, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Regulatory, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Transexual, Vibrators, Wendy Williams
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, chemicals, clit, clitoris, Couples sex talk, dildo, FDA, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, gay, Lesbian, Male Sexuality, men, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, Science, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, Transexual, vibrator, women
A post on Monday morning?
Inconceivable!
However, it has been brought to my attention that one or two of you were pulled away from your computer against your will Saturday night.
Well, you missed it. Dr Tim was on the air. A nice 30 minute interview with DerekD and Peter Dickem on “The DerekD SHow.” They are on this nifty website www.pleasureradio.fm.
So go ahead, visit the site, check out the program archives and hear what I had to say. I didn’t do much for world peace, but maybe you can get a piece from our conversation.
Big shout-out to: @pleasurefm @peterdickem @dirtyderekd @drsuzy @TsWendyWilliams
Follow them on Twitter, or if boredom is more your style, follow me on Twitter! The link is over there to the right somewhere.
Happy Monday Everyone!
16 Sep 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, chemicals, cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Fashion, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Medical, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Regulatory, Safe Sex, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Transexual, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, chemicals, clit, clitoris, Couples sex talk, dildo, emotion, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, gay, Lesbian, men, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, Science, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, sweet semen, Transexual, vibrator, women
Believe it or not, I took a vacation last week. No, really! I was not in my laboratory for nine days. Nine long, empty, meaningless days…
Actually I had a grand time. It was my first vacation in four years and my third in the last twelve years. It seems like I take a week off every four years or so.
So what did I do? Things that would make the Marquis de Sade jump up on a chair and go “Eeek!”
Well, I’m sure that someone would. I spent two days travelling. It was nice to see the green fields and blue skies of the Midwest again. You know, they have air that can be seen through almost all of the time. Then I came home to study.
Yes you read that correctly, I came home to study. I was buried in quantum theory, chemistry, mathematics and porn.
A person needs to stay sharp and up-to-date with the latest and greatest theories and inventions. Who wouldn’t want to unravel the theories of time and the universe while experiencing mind-blowing orgasms? Somehow I find that climaxing while learning brings me to an amazing brain-gasm. Nothing like a good cum to fix things in your brain. The universe seems to open itself up to me during sex. (Now you understand why I call my Lady Friends, “My World, My Universe.”)
Here you thought I ignored my studies to do a lot of screwing around! Nonsense. As serious students, we always recited our class notes during sex. In fact, that is the main reason people like the dirty talk in the bedroom. Have you ever said anything naughty that your partner forgot? Nope, they remember every last thing you said in bed and try to hold you to it. A lot of jewelry gets sold that way.
Did you know that two people can squeeze into an orgone box? They can! If you can have sex in an airplane bathroom, you can make it in an orgone box! Although that isn’t the point. One of these days I promise that I will write a blog about Wilhelm Reich. His work is fascinating.
Back to my vacation! Out of nine, I had seven days of Science, Sex and Ice Cream. Hmm, Seven of Nine does make me think about Science, Sex and Ice Cream, although not in that exact order.
However, serious study needs a serious study group. How fortunate that I know such a group who could really help me concentrate on my studies. Anything that could happen, did happen! There were tons of official Doc Johnson toys and lubes which everyone shared to their hearts’ content. There were strap-ons, oral sex, anal, sex, vaginal sex, armpit sex, straight, gay, trans, couples, singles and more! Best smorgasm-borg ever! We really got into some interesting experiments of spacial geometry and I do believe we defied the laws of physics and anatomy more than once. How many dimensions do we occupy during orgasm?
You would have to see the film to believe it! But until I star on a reality show, you will probably never have a chance to see it, unless someone posts clips on the internet. Don’t be a pirate! Buy your porn! Somehow the idea of sex tapes going viral seems wrong to me.
So what or who did you do on your summer vacation? Feel free to send me cards, letters, pictures or video! Even a postcard would be nice…
02 Sep 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, cosmetics, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Physiology, Psychology, Science, sexuality
Tags: cosmetics, emotion, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, men, Psychology, Science, sex, sexuality, women
Happy Friday Everyone!
I read an interesting paper (Gueguen, N. Jacob, C., Enhanced female attractiveness with use of cosmetics and male tipping behavior in restaurants, J. Cosmet. Sci., 62, 283-290) today that talks about how the use of makeup seems to increase the tips a waitress can collect.
Apparently they did a study that concludes that female waitresses that wear makeup vs. those that do not wear makeup tend to collect larger tips from male customers.
Can you say, “DUH!” I knew that you could.
But let’s take a quick look at the ramifications of the study. According to the study, this was conducted in a laboratory setting. That will upset some people since they believe that if it isn’t happening in the “real” world, that it doesn’t count. Well folks, guess what? Conducting a laboratory trail is the very first step in a field of study. Scientists that tend to rush right out into the public with an idea are usually labeled extremist or insane and often get a punch in the nose.
Next, the waitresses were instructed to act the same way whether wearing makeup or not. Again, any study that uses real people has a wild variable in it. Think of yourself or any woman you know. Do they act the same with or without makeup? Not too many that I know. So there is going to be some give and take on this facet.
During the series of experiments, the same waitress made more money when she wore makeup as opposed to the less she made when she didn’t. The only difference was the use of makeup. The service, food and actions were the same. What does that tell you?
Bottom line: Men tend to give more money to women that they find more desirable. Or attractive.
It may be sexist or it may be in our genes to provide for the most desirable mate. I can’t wait for further studies to be published.
And you thought we only stared at your boobs…
25 Aug 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Safe Sex, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, clit, clitoris, Couples sex talk, dildo, emotion, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, gay, Lesbian, Male Sexuality, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, Transexual, vibrator, women
Hot enough for you?
Hey! If you are going to throw things, either make them soft or made out of ice cream!
Back in the Midwest, when I was just a Baby Chemist, we had a saying in August. Now keep in mind in those days Dr Tim was a young, strong, wiry lad with fire in his soul and mischief in his eyes. I was working for the County in the Secondary Road Department. Yes, I’m the guy that held the stick on the survey crew. It was an afternoon when we were in the Shop to pick up some supplies when I first heard it.
“It’s too hot to fuck!”
Now that is really saying something! “You can fry an egg on the sidewalk.” “It’s hotter than Hell.” “So hot my shadow was looking for shade.” “That’ll melt your ice cream.” Statements that we hear, but don’t make much of an impact on us. But when a man or woman says, “It’s too hot to fuck.” Well! Can you seriously name anything that would prevent you from fucking if fucking was available? Me either.
Now it is belief on mine that Humans are nocturnal by nature. We were only forced to live in the sunlit world by the advent of the agricultural age. People aren’t supposed to be out in the sun! Sleep by day, hunt by night. That’s living! I thrive on moonlight and the sun is not my friend. And don’t even get me started on vampires! Cold lifeless sadness drinking blood to feel alive but for a night? Awful! Now werewolves, they have an abundance of life energy. Living in the moment, intimate with nature and in bed? WHEW! That’s life up at the sharp end.
Back to the heat. So if it is too hot to fuck, what are you going to do? Perform 68 with your partner? (68 – you blow me and I’ll owe you one.) Watch “Scrubs” reruns and masturbate to fantasies of Dr Kelso? Almost! You can have a slow, easy wanking session using your Official Doc Johnson toys! WHOO-HOO!!! You know you love it.
But if you need to be reminded, go here: https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/05/27/airing-the-orchid-or-women-are-wankers-too/ or here: https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/05/06/national-masturbation-month-part-1-im-not-jerking-you-around-here/
Seriously, Two hot sweaty bodies really screw up the bed. Especially if there is a power outage or your air conditioning doesn’t work. Grab the sofa, your Sasha Grey Love Spit Lube (seriously, it is awesome!) and your Doc Johnson dildos, vibrator, stroker or strap-ons. Lay back under the fan and tease yourself slowly. Think about something that really turns you on and let your hands wander.
Need a long, slow deep-dicking? Lube up that dildo, fasten that strap-on to a cushion or pillow and ride or slide at your sexiest pace. Men, do the same with your stroker. Use lots of lube, it feels cool and wet. Add the vibrator that will tickle your private places without doubling the sweat on the sheets. Ever sit on an ice pack while masturbating? Try it! You may just love it! You know, glass dildos can be kept in the freezer for just such an emergency as well.
Or, for my fans that are hardcore, slip a few ice cubes or a popsicle in your back door. Not only will it intensify your orgasm, but you will have the coldest experience since that one time with the snow bunnies outside the lodge at Big Bear during January! But careful, this technique is not for rookies. Hardcore only please. Beginners should work their way up to this by fucking over an open freezer or over a 50 # bag of ice wrapped in a towel. Ever do it in a wading pool full of ice water? It is GOOD, trust me.
So it’s August, it’s hot and your partner is a sweaty slob. Don’t let that stop you from having the orgasms you deserve! Use a little creativity and don’t forget to take the Doc along for the ride. Remember: If it’s as good as Cock, it must be from the Doc! If rubber pussy makes you want some, call on old Doc Johnson.
Didn’t quite rhyme, but you get the jism gist of it. Besides, where are you going to get a sex toy blog that has human evolution, werewolves, vampires and ice up the ass?
From Dr Tim, that’s who!
12 Aug 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, clit, clitoris, Couples sex talk, dildo, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, Male Sexuality, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Premature Ejaculation, Psychology, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, vibrator, women
An interesting question was posed to me this week.
Why are cuckold films so popular?
I have no idea. However, I do know a little bit about the Hot Wife/cuckold phenomenon.
Some of you have already gone to Wikipedia to look up “Cuckold,” so I will just give the brief alleged origin of the term. You see, there is this bird called the cuckoo. Besides living in clocks, the female will lay its eggs in another birds nest so that someone else raises the offspring. This is a similar deal. Hot Wife goes out and gets knocked up by a man other than her husband so that the husband ends up raising someone else’s kid. There is often denial of sex for the cuckolded husband.
How do these people’s minds work?
Lots of answers of which all or none of may be correct.
1. The stress of sexual relations is too much for the husband. He wants his wife to be happy so he gives her permission to get the sexual satisfaction she deserves. Very selfless and giving.
2. The husband feels inadequate and grudgingly gives consent for his wife to get what he cannot provide. i.e., multiple orgasms, a large cock, a “real” man, group sex, etc.
3. The husband is unaware that his wife is getting sexual satisfaction elsewhere.
4. The husband may just get his jollies watching and doesn’t care for real sex.
5. The husband may be into humiliation and lets his dominatrix wife do as she please to torment him.
6. The wife’s sex drive may be too big for him to accommodate.
7. The husband is bi and gets off being the beta male.
8. There may be blackmail involved.
Some folks will say this is not right, but if everyone is happy with the situation, who are we to comment? If they are unhappy, well hopefully they will find some help to change their circumstances.
We need to be careful not to confuse cuckolds with swingers. A cuckold may be a swinger, but not every swinger is a cuckold. In a swinging relationship, each partner has sex with however many people they desire. In a cuckold relationship, the Hot Wife gets to have sex with however many people they desire and the cuckold is either faithful or abstinent. Sometimes they add interracial play for more humiliation. (Side note: Dr Tim does not believe that having sex with someone from a different race would denigrate anything.)
And do not confuse a Hot Wife with a Slut Wife. Remember, the Hot Wife has a husband at home who gets no action from his lawfully wedded bride. Everyone gets the Slut Wife.
A friend of mine who practices this lifestyle tells me that it is the toughest thing in the world for him, but seeing his wife’s happiness makes it all worthwhile. For years, he told me, she would cuckold him by using toys. She had him go buy different dildos, vibrators, lubes and lotions. (All Doc Johnson products!) Then she made him watch as she pleasured herself. At first, she let him masturbate while watching. After a while that stopped. They purchased a strap-on and a male chastity device. His junk was locked up and she would use the strap-on to stretch his orifices. Eventually she started meeting other men and bringing them home to fuck so he could watch. And yes, he does clean up the cream pies. Currently he has been in that chastity device for over three years. They seem very much in love.
How does Dr Tim know so much about his friends’ sex lives? I get invited to either participate or hold the camcorder. (I love holding the camcorder!) In a way, I am a documentarian of sex in America. I just don’t own any of the footage.
So why are cuckold films becoming so popular? My best guess is that more and more people are finally becoming more secure in their sexuality. Men want to fuck other men’s wives and “conquer” their husbands. Some men want to watch their wives lose themselves in orgasm at another’s hands. Some men have little to no self-respect and are self-destructive. (Not nice to make the wives a party to that!) Some men are submissive and don’t want rights, they want duties.
Some women like having multiple partners, or humiliating/hurting their husbands, will do it to please him or any of a myriad of reasons. I also read a paper that explains that cuckolding is the first step in establishing a World Gynarchy. Subdue your husbands and take control kind of stuff. Scary.
If cuckolding is for you, go get it! Just remember to love yourself and others. If you guys truly love each other, there is no wrong way to express it.
29 Jul 2011
by Mystertim
in 3-Minute Poem, Bad Poetry, Doc Johnson, Fetish, Oral Sex, Psychology
Tags: Blowjob, Couples sex talk, emotion, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, Male Sexuality, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, sex, sexuality, women
Friday is my longest day,
The time drags on so long.
I just can’t wait for Friday night
And get my ice cream on!
15 Jul 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, chemicals, cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Dr Susan Block, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Transexual, Vibrators, Wendy Williams
Tags: anal sex, ANME, Blowjob, clitoris, cosmetics, Couples sex talk, dildo, emotion, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, gay, Lesbian, Male Sexuality, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Premature Ejaculation, Psychology, sex, Sex toy trade show, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, vibrator, women
Well, maybe I am. Seems there were a couple shows presenting “Implements/Accessories of Personal Sexual Empowerment Strategically Designed for Human (Singular or Multiple) Ascent towards La Petite Mort.” (Sex toys to get y’all off! On your own or with friends.)
Of course, I will be covering the ANME show. That stands for the Adult Novelty Manufacturers Expo. And since Doc Johnson is one of the Founding Five, we had a ginormous booth! Yes, there are four others, but hey, this is about us.
Oh the glamour! Oh the toys! Oh the lubes! And even some most excellent eye candy was on display for everyone to enjoy. Many of my readers have not heard of this show because it is not open to the public. It is, as they say, B2B or Business to Business. Folks who sell to folks who sell to folks who sell to folks who use the products. Manufacturer to Distributor to Stores to You! Sounds complicated, but it really isn’t. Just the American Dream in action promoting Freedom of Speech, the Right to Our Own Bodies and money.
Our theme was the “School Of Doc.” We had a classroom where one could touch, feel and learn all about our very cool products. We even had video in the background!
Don't Be Late For Class!
Oh Yeah! We had candy in class. Bet you never had that before, did you? (Culinary and confectionary schools don’t count…) And guess what? We had a faculty there to show, teach and learn with you!
Nerdy but Dirty Faculty of SOD!
They may have been walking around with clipboards, but those rulers were never far away! Looks like I am going to stay after class again today. DANG! (One great thing about teachers is that they make you do it over and over until you get it right.)
But it wasn’t all fun and games. There were many serious meetings that took place. Sharks circling each other, looking for weakness, waiting to pounce and close the deal. It was tough, make no mistake!
Advanced Business Strategy in Process
The great part however, was renewing old friendships, remembering why you didn’t particularly like someone, seeing what was new and maybe getting a behind closed-door demo of some of the products. Which, I must add (lawyers insist) that those games are not business related, just friendly slap and tickle between friends. Those days of bedroom business are long gone. Yep, everything is uber-professional now. Business is business. And playtime is playtime. (They don’t call me Tim-Bone for nothing, you know.)
People just could not keep their hands off our toys.
Free-Balling!
Although that picture reminds me of my ex-wife and her female lawyer…
Needless to say, there were sights to see, things to do and people to meet. I had a very productive day meeting with some clients discussing new opportunities so that I can get my boss that new Testarossa. I’m selfless like that. Ask around.
And since I’ve learned how to add pictures to my posts. (Promise to learn how to use fewer later.) There are some other folks that should be recognised.
More Sales People:
More of the Sales Staff!
The Director of Product Development! (Everything is his fault…)
I'm not sleeping! Just listening!
And of course, the Big Boss!
He is The MAN!
So everyone will be seeing some really great new toys and lubes coming their way this fall. I’d say 99% of them will be coming from us, Doc Johnson. But then you might say I am a wee bit prejudiced.
OK, due to the news, I postponed the talk about SRS, Filet O’Penis and lubes until next week. Guys can be such fraidy-cats about some things. Me? I’m going home and making lasagna!
Note to readers in Southern California. Stock up on your Doc Johnson toys and lubes. It is going to be a long weekend, so stay home and enjoy yourself!
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