08 Jun 2012
by Mystertim
in Couples Sexuality, Doc Johnson, Fashion, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Psychology, sex toys, sexuality
Tags: BDSM, Bondage, Couples sex talk, Female Sexuality, fetish, Male Sexuality, Psychology, sexuality
Let’s talk about Love.
Seriously. Love requires a great deal of Trust. And no where is Trust so needed as when we talk about bondage.
Ties That Bind
You see, if you do not trust your partner to tie you up, love is obviously lacking. Quite frankly, you become very vulnerable during bondage and you really do become subject to your partner’s whims. So, if you don’t love them or trust them, DO NOT LET THEM TIE YOU UP! I cannot emphasise that enough. However, if you are a ruthless thrill-seeker, I can’t help you. You will do what you want regardless of the consequences. Good luck!
For the rest of us, check out that cool new bondage line, Black Rose, from Doc Johnson! It is all black and purple and stuff. Beautiful. Sometimes I get so weary of black and red. Purple is a very sexy color to me. I mean, after all, when have you ever seen pastel bondage gear? That doesn’t mean that your bondage experience has to be all dark and brooding. Quite the opposite! Many bondage scenes are full of smiling and laughter. (Especially if you are into tickling!)
Besides, hemp rope leaves burn marks while chains leave nasty bruises. And some of us have to go to the PTA meeting tomorrow. Ribbons work very well for bondage and leave fewer marks. And don’t forget the blindfold or gag!
Where are you?
Blindfolds are very cool. Keeps them guessing as to where you are and what you are about to do to them. 
I can hear some of you now, ” That gag isn’t so bad. I could still talk!” I dare you to try it. Edgar Bergen or Jeff Dunham you ain’t. This is simple, effective and reduces your partner to whimpers, sighs and moaning. And we all like those, right?
Do you see how important Trust is now?
You cannot move, you cannot talk and you cannot see. You never know what is coming next.
That stings!
Now the cool thing about floggers is that they can caress the skin or thump the skin. It all depends on what your partner wishes you to experience. For an extra sting, tie a small knot in the end of each strand. For an evil sting, tie a small pebble or tack into the end of each strand. Oh, the sensations. Oh, the endorphins!
And speaking of sensations, some like to be clothed while bound and some prefer to be nude. If you prefer bound, we have a little something extra for you.
Vibrations move me…
Yep. Vibrating panties. Imagine wearing those while you are bound and helpless. The sensations never stop which may bring you to climax after climax and there is nothing you can do about it. Gracious, how you squirm!
So those are some fun things to play with during sex. We love playing. And experimenting. I know a couple that has been married for over fifty years who confided in me that while they no longer participate in any bondage games, that the experimentation brought them so much closer together. So I guess that means that bondage can actually help your relationship. That’s where you find out if you partner has your back and looks out for you or if they are only out for themselves.
I wonder if bondage exercises would be an important part of pre-marital counseling?
So live long, play hard and don’t be afraid to get dirty. At Doc Johnson we do not judge anyone’s sexual preferences. We want to provide everything you need for an exciting and fulfilling sex life.
18 May 2012
by Mystertim
in Anal Sex, Couples Sexuality, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Male, Male Sexuality, Men, Oral Sex, Psychology, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Vibrators, Women
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, Couples sex talk, dildo, emotion, fellatio, Female Sexuality, gay, Lesbian, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, vibrator, women
Do you know the difference between a Slut and a Bitch?
A Slut will sleep with anyone A Bitch will sleep with anyone but me!
Let’s talk about Sluts. I love them. Seems like these days, people are into slut shaming. You know the drill, someone is doing the Walk of Shame so you start whispering behind their back, making snarky comments on social networks, checking out their naughty blogs and then sneaking off to rub one out. (Go ahead! It is still National Masturbation Month!)
Jealous much?
Sluts are very special people and need to be treated with understanding and tender loving care. They cannot help themselves, they must share their joy with everyone who has need. Sex is joy And engaging in sex completes the circuit which brings the spirit if ever so briefly as close to Heaven/Nirvana/Valhalla/Fill in the Blank as one can be while still living.
They see sex differently than most. To a Slut, sex is an open expression of love. It is fun. It is something to be shared. And they share it with just about anyone who requests it properly. Depending on the circumstances, properly may be anything from “Stroll with me beneath the moonlight and mayhap we will make a communal offering to the Great Spirit.” to “Meet me behind the dumpster!”
There was a story of a young Dali lama who was asked to cast a woman out for being a slut. She was accused of seducing men, women and all living things. When the Dali lama arrived, he found everyone waiting in line. There was no fighting, pushing or trash talk. And when he walked up to the young lady he could see that her beauty and love outshone the sun. How could he cast out someone whose only crime was that she had been created with such beauty and generosity?
Something to think about people. Much of the evil in this world would not happen if everyone was getting laid. Sluts are the great equalizer. If everyone could be open and honest about their sexual feelings. They could be acted upon and a lot of tension would disappear. Anyone could be a slut, you could be male, female, trans, whatever. There is a Slut for everyone out there.
Oral sex sluts, anal sex sluts, gay sluts, lesbian sluts, sex toy sluts, why there is a whole world of sluttery (or should I say, sluttiosity) out there for you. By the way, don’t forget to pick up your Official Doc Johnson Lubes, Toys and Stuff. Even Sluts need a break now and then.
So what about Whores?
I love them too. Everyone needs to get paid. However, there is a good chance that a Whore has lost their way in drugs, or is being forced into prostitution or is so burned out that they no longer feel the joy. This is a tough old world. However, if more Sluts came out of their closet, fewer Whores would be necessary. In fact, Sluts can put Whores out of business!
But as I said, Sluts need understanding and love. Their hearts can be very tender and to misuse their gifts is what can change a sweet slut into a bitter person. Treat your Slut kindly. And if the Slut around, please understand, their gift is too great to keep to themselves. If they are taking care of your needs, let them fly free. They will come back.
Don’t shame the slut. Worship the Slut.
04 May 2012
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Dr Susan Block, Female, Female Sexuality, Male, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Safe Sex, sex toys, sexuality, Vibrators
Tags: Couples sex talk, dildo, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, Male Sexuality, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, sex toys, sexuality, vibrator
I’m back! What did I miss?
We have so little to cover and so much time to do it. Wait, scratch that. Reverse it. Moving on…
First – Dr Adam Ostrzenski, of the Institute of Gynocology in St Petersburg, Florida claims to have found the actual G-Spot! You may have heard about this on the news, but let’s look a bit closer, shall we? Whatever he found, it is causing huge waves in the medical and sexual health fields. Doctors are lining up on both sides of the debate. You see, one side says, “Hooray! Another clue to the mystery!” while the other proclaims, “The G-Spot is not real! Stop trying to make women into sexual robots who respond to physical impulses!”
Tough room. The doctor claims that not only is this very small cluster of grape-like pods in a sac the g-spot, but that it can rupture or weaken most likely during labor trauma. So it seems that having kids could really dent your sexual desire. Regardless, he only found this in one woman, 84 years old. As we do know, every woman is different. The g-spot may be large or small or even non-existent. The problem is that humans tend to get caught up in the whirlwind of “OMG, I Must Be Dysfunctional.” Not only that, it only measured 8.1 mm by 1.5-3.6 mm by 0.4 mm. Harder to find than the clitoris! (Which is not hard to find at all! See: https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/10/15/the-amazing-clitoris/)
So what are you going to do? This is where Synchronicity happens:
It is National Masturbation Month!!!!!
So let’s go exploring! Let’s break out our Official Doc Johnson Lubricant and Official Doc Johnson Toys and go spelunking. We have all sorts of toys and gizmos to reach everyplace you have thought of and several that you haven’t. If you need some masturbation tips, please refer to these wonderful columns:
https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/05/06/national-masturbation-month-part-1-im-not-jerking-you-around-here/
https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/05/27/airing-the-orchid-or-women-are-wankers-too/
Or check in with my Dear Friend Dr Suzy: http://bloggamy.com/masturbation-month-news/
But first some important news: There is nothing wrong with you if you cannot locate your G-Spot. Some women are much more sensitive than others and every woman is different. I would hate it if you were all the same. So take your time. Explore yourself alone or with a special friend. The goal is not finding the g-spot. The goal is your feeling good, having fun and feeling fulfilled. Each of you is special and I love you dearly for it. Relax, don’t worry. Masturbate yourself to bliss!
Other Breaking News:
A recent study shows that men think about Sex, Food and Sleep. In that order. Can you say “DUH!” How can I get paid to conduct these studies. (Point of difference: The study was done with college aged men between 18-25. I am a bit older and my order is Food, Drink, WOMAN, Sleep…)
Yet another study published in The American Journal of Medicine states that with many older women, sex gets better as they age. I am still not surprised. Older women know what works for them and how to achieve satisfaction. Like I mentioned earlier, it is all about your satisfaction. Satisfied women are happy women. Happy women (come in California) make happy men. Let’s do this people!
And finally: the FDA approves a new drug for the treatment of erectile dysfunction! Huzzah! Men suffering from ED need to masturbate too! It is called Stendra and should be taken 30 minutes before sexual activity. It is also a PDE5, so all the same warnings about nitrates, vision, hearing, etc, etc, etc.
Thanks for visiting! Now wash your hands and let’s go get something to eat!
23 Mar 2012
by Mystertim
in 3-Minute Poem, Bad Poetry, Male Sexuality
Tags: 3-Minute Poem, Male Sexuality
Kids today like fantastical things,
Androids, computers and Wookies.
I’m old-school, and loves me some
Fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies.
It’s true. Bring me some fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies and you will see that gleam in my eye. Be ready for a XXX throw-down. And remember, I am the Undefeated Championship Belt Holder!
(If you can’t deliver the cookies to me in-person, please enclose naughty photos with your package…)
16 Jan 2012
by Mystertim
in 2012, ANME, Couples Sexuality, Doc Johnson
Tags: dildo, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Personal Lubricants, sexuality, strap-on, vibrator
Lordy, Lordy it has been a trade show whirlwind!
If I started talking about everything that happened, we would be here for hours! So let’s just look at some pretty pictures instead. (I reserve the right to comment as necessary.)
Beginning with ANME 2012. The whole team got together for something special!
We May be up to something...
Yep, we have a little bit of something for everyone! Please, no cat jokes. Her claws are sharp!
Yes, we were.
Beautiful!
She will probably hurt me for this, but then I usually pay extra for that!
Sing along, "Swiss Miss, Dominatrix!"
And where would we be without…
Arrrgh! Avast me hearties!
But it was a wonderful show, we saw so many old friends, made new friends and I did not hear of a single drop of blood being shed. What we do is exciting because we get to help you get it on!
Ready to help. Because we are just like that.
31 Oct 2011
by Mystertim
in cosmetics, Couples Sexuality, Doc Johnson, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Oral Sex, Psychology
Tags: Female Sexuality, fetish, Male Sexuality, Psychology, sexuality
Happy Halloween Everyone!
Here at Doc Johnson, we look forward to things that bump in the night! And vibrate, buzz, rotate, lick, suck, well, you get the idea.
OK! Back up the tanker of Baby Oil! It's Party Time!
Now play safe tonight and be sure to stock up on your Official Doc Johnson toys and lubes. They work great at parties. After all, some us will be turning our tricks into treats…
What do you mean you didn't bring your Doc Johnson toys?
So eat Candy, eat your Honey (they both love it) and be sure to wash it down with a special protein shake. For tonight we howl!
28 Oct 2011
by Mystertim
in Charity, Couples Sexuality, Female Sexuality, Humanity, Male Sexuality, Psychology, Uncategorized
Tags: Bare Naked Bake Sale, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Psychology
So I have this friend…
Really! I do have a friend and she is one of the hardest working ladies I know. Smart, funny, talented, married (damn), and dedicated to the cause. We may not agree on everything, but we do agree on one thing.
People in this world need help. And we want to help. We would give the shirt off our backs to help. So she did and the Bare Naked Bake Sale was born.
The website will be going live soon. To read the back story, go here: http://barenakedbakesale.wordpress.com/
Sign up for updates here: http://bnakedb.kickofflabs.com/?s=1MZG
I believe. I am a financial contributor and spirit coach.
I also did a short clip featuring their slogan; “I can change the world with the shirt off my back.”
If moobs offend you, do not click this link! http://www.youtube.com/user/justinawalford#p/u/3/urf2LZsvOIk
You can follow Justina on Twitter (http://twitter.com/#!/JustinaWalford)
What are you doing to make the world a better place?
20 Oct 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Doc Johnson, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Psychology, sex toys, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Female Sexuality, Male Sexuality, Psychology, sex, sex toys, sexuality, vibrator, women
Perhaps a few of you remember the sexy blonde with major boobage I mentioned earlier this year. If you don’t, for shame. Re-read about her here: https://quantumcogitation.com/2011/04/15/erotic-spitting-or-how-is-it-raining-in-the-bedroom/
We were having a great conversation about new concepts in sexual health and wellness when out of the blue she asked, “How do you fall asleep on those nights when the world keeps you awake?”
She caught me at a weak moment. Couldn’t help but tell her the plain unvarnished truth. You should have seen her eyes light up. How could I resist? I mean, her boobs got in my eyes and everything! Someday we will have to discuss this reoccurring dream I have about her.
But before we get into how Dr Tim relaxes on nights when he is carrying all of the world’s problems on his shoulders, let’s look at our souls.
Yes, it is about to get all metaphysical up in here! What makes us “us?” Who are you and how did you get that way?
Beats the heck out of me. I am not even sure where is soul is located. From all of my studies, it is believed to be located everywhere from the third eye to the brown eye. Some even believe that the soul is in the blood. I’ve had my cholesterol checked, but never has my doctor asked for a soul level. Only Brothers and Sisters have ever gauged my Soul Level. Solid!
The soul apparently is everything from your conscience to your mind to your very life force. So we do not know where it is or even what it is, but we know that we have one. Or some depending on your point of view. Perhaps some of us do not even have one. Maybe only so many souls were created and we have out-populated the number available. There are thousands of people walking around without one. Why are there so many more heartless criminals that stare at you with empty eyes? They have no soul to care. And those of us with souls are there to feel the pain and lie awake night after night.
How do I sleep? Usually on my side. I’ll cuddle you so hard and then spoon the hell out of you!
Seriously though, on those nights that stretch out forever while being boycotted by the Sandman, I turn to Doc Johnson! And you should too!
I don’t know if my soul is in my asshole, but I do know that is a major tension center. Ever hear the phrase, “That tight-ass Mofo needs to relax!”
Tension Relief!
Here is my secret: I know they call it a clit stick, but I take that little beauty, turn it on and sandwich it between my cheeks with the tip just touching my asshole. The tension just seems to drain away and I am sound asleep within 5-10 minutes. Why? I don’t know. Maybe it massages my soul or simply helps me to relax. Regardless of why, the sleep of the innocent lasts all night long. I do have to replace the batteries fairly often since I do not wake up turn it off. It is also kind of fun to figure out where it went during the night too. Does that make me gay? No. It makes me secure. Read about men and anal play here: https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/08/29/strap-it-on/
I’ll need it tonight however, all I can think about is sexy blonde with major boobage using a vibrator on her asshole. She waxes. Everything. E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g!
There may be some serious weasel-whipping going on tonight as well. Cold shower anyone?
14 Oct 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Safe Sex, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Transexual, Vibrators
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, boobs, clit, clitoris, cock, Couples sex talk, Cunnilingus, dick, dildo, emotion, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, gay, Lesbian, Male Sexuality, men, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, pussy, Science, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, Transexual, vibrator, women
“Sweetie, what are you thinking about right now?”
“Well Darling, there isn’t a game on so I am thinking about boobs.’ (Famous Last Words)
And I am, unless I am thinking about pussy or ass. Maybe about how good a blowjob would feel right now.
You are correct, Dear Readers, these are not appropriate answers when you get hit by “The Question” by your Significant Other.
In fact, this question is almost worse than the “We Need to Talk” statement. Not quite, but almost.
Now I know that all of you have well-rounded lives with great jobs, community work, charity work and being a pillar of your House of Worship whichever that may be. But guess what? We all think about boobs. Even women think about boobs! I am very pro-boob and I am not afraid to say it.
So where am I going with all of this? Everyone thinks about sex. It is in just about everyone’s top five list of obsessions. Or in my case the top two, I do love cheeseburgers.
Consider this, we all think about sex. A lot really. And that leads to uncomfortable situations. Who hasn’t been caught checking someone out? Male, female, straight, gay, lesbian, bi, trans, everyone has been busted. It could be boobs, a bulging package or the way that ass moves under that sheer sun dress. It could be a piece of jewelry or a particular shade of lipstick. Even a fragrance can take you there.
https://quantumcogitation.com/2009/12/11/always-sniffing-around-or-smell-my-fetish/
And it could take your thoughts to uninhibited states of fantasy activities. Strap-ons, anal sex, oral sex, threesome, moresome, orgies or your handy Official Doc Johnson devices and lubes. Oh, do buy lots of Official Doc Johnson toys and lubes. If it is better than Cock, it came from the Doc!
The brain is an amazing organ where your mind constructs new realities and worlds where the impossible can happen. I have this little dream where Eva Mendez comes over to bake chocolate chip cookies with me and…
That is when you get busted. Men are caught with a small smile and a growing chubby. Women stand up and everyone looks for the velcro they just heard. (Are you sitting in a puddle or are you just happy to see me?)
And most of the time, it is a fair cop. Now I just happen to have a great job where I not only to have to think about sex constantly, but I have to think about making it better or longer-lasting, or tastier. Yep. To use business-speak, I need to maximize your sensory experience during erotic interludes. In other words, Me make bouncy-bouncy more bouncy!
So yes, I think about sex a lot. Almost as much as a teenager with the exception that I know what I am doing. I hope. https://quantumcogitation.com/2008/10/15/the-amazing-clitoris/
Other times it is an unfortunate frustration. I was caught checking out a young college lady and was scolded for being a dirty old pervert. One, I am not dirty. I shower every day. Two, I am not that old. If it were true, I would have smiled and been about my business. When I am busted for silently perving, I admit it and ask how they busted me. Were they thinking the same things?
However that one time was different. The young lady in question was the daughter of an old girlfriend from college. She looked so much like her Mom did in college that it made me smile, remembering those happy days.
It isn’t always about sex. It just usually is…
So what’s on your naughty mind? Drop me a line and let me know! My email and twiiter are over there to the right somewhere.
10 Oct 2011
by Mystertim
in Anatomy, chemicals, Couples Sexuality, Dildos, Doc Johnson, Dr Susan Block, Female, Female Sexuality, Fetish, Male Sexuality, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Personal Lubricants, Physiology, Psychology, Regulatory, Science, sex toys, sexuality, Strap-ons, Transexual, Vibrators, Wendy Williams
Tags: anal sex, Blowjob, chemicals, clit, clitoris, Couples sex talk, dildo, FDA, fellatio, female sex organs, Female Sexuality, female stimulation, fetish, gay, Lesbian, Male Sexuality, men, orgasm, Personal Lubricants, Psychology, Science, sex, sex toys, sexuality, strap-on, Transexual, vibrator, women
A post on Monday morning?
Inconceivable!
However, it has been brought to my attention that one or two of you were pulled away from your computer against your will Saturday night.
Well, you missed it. Dr Tim was on the air. A nice 30 minute interview with DerekD and Peter Dickem on “The DerekD SHow.” They are on this nifty website www.pleasureradio.fm.
So go ahead, visit the site, check out the program archives and hear what I had to say. I didn’t do much for world peace, but maybe you can get a piece from our conversation.
Big shout-out to: @pleasurefm @peterdickem @dirtyderekd @drsuzy @TsWendyWilliams
Follow them on Twitter, or if boredom is more your style, follow me on Twitter! The link is over there to the right somewhere.
Happy Monday Everyone!
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Quantum Cogitation 